She watched him storming out of the stage and then the gates as if his whole world was on fire and he had left nothing to protect.
Uttara had always known that there was an entirely different world that Vidyut Chauhan had created in his soul that she had yet to witness. The moment that she felt he was letting her in, he stopped. The small window with protruding lights that seemed an entrance for her was shut so harshly that she flinched back.
Not that she was afraid, she was disheartened. Hurt even. As she weaves in and out of the constant struggle of jumping into his life, his path, she thought that patience was the key she sought before getting through obtaining his trust and understanding the man she had come to love. Live.
He kept surprising her. Each day in a million ways he made her witness a side of him that was rare. He was her rarity. Some days he would hurt her, other days he healed her. Some days he challenged her to nudge him more and other days his ways would change a little something in.
It seems he was battling his own private journey, a marathon of constant conflicts that she had been wanting to intrude on. Waiting to be let in through the cracks and flood through his broken pieces like the lacquer that joins them and paints them with gold.
Like Kintsugi, she was ready to embrace his imperfections and make them stronger. If he would let her, she would be his gold.
She watched a frantic Rashi ready to run behind her son but was held back by her father-in-law who looked at their new guest with hatred and something that resembled repugnance. Their eyes met and Uttara sprinted in the same direction, watching gratitude in Rashi's face before exiting.
This gate was different than the one they entered. This looked like a back entrance where the servers were resting themselves before they would be moving out with the food.
Watching her, they straightened with curious eyes following her. She glanced around and found another small door that was left ajar, Passing a quick smile she changed her direction and stepped inside the gate.
Needle like raindrops slapped the roof creating a loud noise and she winced, cursing Mumbai's unpredictable weather. She blinked to adjust her vision to the darkness and looked around the small back terrace to find the familiar face of the man she had been following.
The cold night air made her shiver.
"Oh my..." She clamped her lips shut as her eyes came to rest on a shadow behind her. She felt a coat being draped around her figure and she identified the smell like the back of her hand. "Vidyut."
"You shouldn't have come here." He mumbled unattentively, moving away from there when she spun and held his wrist.
"Why did you leave?" She made him face her and watched his steel grey eyes detached and cold.
A shiver ran down her spine.
He kept mum.
She sighed inaudibly, wanting to change the topic. "Where will be going now?"
She watched him gazing into the vacant space. Losing hope to get an answer out of him, she searched her brain for another topic when he took a heartful sigh.
"Anywhere but inside."
Uttara nodded. "Do you know the exit out of here?"
He blinked in affirmation and started walking.
"Wait." She ran to cover the distance. Taking his fingers in hers, she latched them and his head rose to watch her. "Now, let's hurry."
He nodded distractedly and led her toward the darker area of the terrace. The rain was turning harsh yet she felt at peace watching him not running away from her. He did say that she meant something.
His words meant something and the hopeless romantic in her wished it to be a confession of sorts. A little amount of feelings she may have succeeded in igniting in him.
Just a little bit.
Her heart expanded at the thought.
The tiled floor blended with the cemented edges and iron railings which meshed into heightened trees and the leaves played touch me if you may with them. They walked to one such part of the terrace that opened to circular iron stairs which descended down towards the lush green back garden.
She looked around and gulped as the fear crept down her spine due to heavy rain and lack of light. "Umm...Vidyut."
He stopped and glanced at her.
"Do you have your phone? There is no visibility and my dress had no pockets so you know," She shared and heard him shuffling, he switched on his phone flashlight and kept it in his shirt's upper pocket to prevent it from the rain. "Thank you."
Her mumble earned her a nod and he latched the small gate open to the stairs. He took a step down and turned towards her. The light blinded her and her free palm covered her eyes. He adjusted the light and bent.
She felt his cold fingers on her feet and she jumped at the suddenness. A gasp escaped her.
"Step out of these." He ordered losing her heel strap and she was left with no choice but to follow. Holding his shoulder as a support she doffed them soon in order to not dampen their clothes from the onslaught of rains they would be entering. Two more steps and the roof will no longer be there to protect them. "We will be running."
She nodded fervently as he watched her for confirmation.
He picked her heels in one hand and held her wrist in another. Glancing at her, he nodded and she breathed to will herself to not trip on the stairs and on the grass.
The cold metal touched her heels and she shivered but nonetheless, matching his footsteps they were down in a jiffy and hurried through the garden towards the huge metal door that was surprisingly left open.
They ducked their heads as the water immersed into her fabric passing his suit jacket and his clothes. His black high neck plays its role well.
He pushed the door open and they were welcomed to the staff parking with a handful of bikes, scooters, cars, and delivery vans.
Walking on the damp gravel made her nose itch in disgust yet she kept following him as he took her towards the shade in the control room and they both hurried inside for the shelter.
"Who are you and what are you doing?" The guards who sat listening to some old songs on the radio stood up at once, alarmed as they looked nowhere impeccably dressed as before.
Vidyut registered their presence and raised two fingers to shut their endless series of questions. "We will be leaving in 5 minutes."
He quickly retrieved his phone and made a call to their driver and the car was infront of the office in another 4 minutes.
Vidyut talked to the driver for a brief second and the man bowed in agreement before he pulled an umbrella from below the seat and opened the gate for Uttara while Vidyut took the steering wheel.
The door closed behind her and she almost smiled as the heater was switched on by him.
"Where are we going?" She asked turning towards him and watching him maneuvering his way out of the area. "Vidyut?"
He kept mum with a slacked jaw and she dropped the question, letting herself drop in the warmth of the seat with his coat piled up in her lap. Licking her gums, she looked away from him and towards the window where the rain pelted against it. The rain which she had never liked before today seemed to be filling in the dead silence between them, something she was grateful for.
They kept driving until he could no more while she sneaked glances at him to watch his knuckles tighten, jaw slacking but slowly the emotions stripped down his face. His fingers loosened, and so did his jaw. He was taking deep breaths through his lips, teeth barred as he kept his eyes on the road that lay crowded with vehicles. Another signal turned red in the past hour and he halted behind a white Mercedes while tapping his feet in the carpet waiting for it to turn back to green.
Uttara leaned back against the seat, watching him sitting stiff and rubbing his palm through his face quickly as he turned the heater off and switched back to AC at a low temperature. Their clothes were dry now.
The urge to cup his face and kiss his thoughts away made her look out towards the meshed-up rear lights. All red, yellow, and gold into dots as the rain blurred their vision. She blinked back from the dizzying sleep that crawled towards her due to the silence around her.
A knock on her window made her yelp in surprise. She jumped and held onto his arm in surprise, breaking whatever daze he was in.
"What happened?" He asked in a low grumble and another hurried knock answered him. Vidyut frowned but nodded her towards lowering the window.
"Didi, bhutta loge? Aakhri bachaa hain." Two faces peeked inside and passed their most convincing smiles. "Bilkul garam hain. Baarish bhi ho rahi hain. Ek to lelo, please."
"Didi, will you take corn? It is the last one left."
"It is fresh and hot. Also, it is raining. Please take one."
"Aap dono bheeg rahe ho." Uttara frowned watching them drenching in the rain holding a wooden basket covered with a plastic sheet.
"You two are getting drenched."
"Haan didi, bas aakhri bhutta hain. Aap lelo to hum jaldi chale jayenge." The older boy replied with innocent pouts.
"Yes, Didi. This is the last corn. If you take it then we will leave quickly."
"Didi, ye lelo na, please." The smaller boy passed her a huge grin and she almost melted at his site.
"Didi, please take it."
She gulped glancing at Vidyut who sat quietly observing the duo. Their smiles dropped each second she took to reply. "Sorry, beta ye main nahi..."
"Sorry, Kid. But I can't..."
"We will take it," Vidyut announced behind her.
"Thank you, Bhaiya!" The kids cheered excitedly and dug through their basket to retrieve the last piece of roasted corn.
"But, it is unhygienic." She whispered urgently watching him pocketing his wallet back.
"Doesn't matter." He leaned at her side and placed a bill in the kids' hand before taking the corn. He returned a small smile with a "Thank you."
She waved the kids back and pressed the button to close the window. She turned towards him and watched him placing the corn on the dashboard as the signal turned yellow and then green.
He changed the gear as the traffic was left behind and they treaded towards the highways leaving Mumbai and all those people behind.
That woman is left behind.
Her fingers hovered above his, contemplating if she could touch him but the fear that he would combust into the pent-up emotions made her gulp in fear. Not that she feared him but her heart had borne his harsh words for a lot many times, each time being scarred deeper than before, and now nowhere she was brave enough to fall back and let him walk out leaving her battered due to his words.
"Do it."
His voice came out struggling, fighting to be heard above the roaring of a car engine.
She looked up and found his jaw clenched as he watched her with the same vulnerability she had seen that day.
"Tara, please."
She touched his palm and immediately he latched onto her hand as a drowning man grabs his last chance of survival. His grip would have been bruising but it relaxed, slowly and gently as he was assertive of her presence near him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, her thump caressing his knuckles as he cuddled their hands to his lap, shaking his head a little. "Okay. Do you want to talk about anything?"
"You do." He mumbled and she nodded, swallowing a lump and hearing him speaking again.
Uttara squeezed his hand and watched him glancing at her and back to the road. "I want to take a vacation. Yesterday on sets I was scrolling through the reels section and this place came up in my feed. You know, the pristine shores and impressive aquatic life had me hooked. I kept searching the entire time the set was being set up. It is a secluded part of the Andaman Islands, known as Havelock. What do you say about white sand beaches at one side and tropical jungles at another?"
She stopped to gauge his reaction. As he stopped hearing her voice, he turned towards her and nodded as if confirming his attention.
She smiled at his gesture. "Or are you a mountain person? We haven't exactly talked about a desired vacation place. I'm more of a beach person but mountains sound fun to me. We can go to Ladakh too. The place is virtually untouched and unexplored. Can you believe that it is covered with the Himalayas from all four sides and perched between them like a queen making the mountains her throne? It is March so I think we can think about both places. The weather seems cool and slightly humid down there."
"Slightly?" He raised a mocking brow.
"Yes, slightly." She grimaced sheepishly and pinched her forefinger and thump, leaving a small space in between.
"Okay."
"Okay?" she straightened at the word. "Okay, for which one? Ladakh or Andaman?"
"You decide." He shrugged.
"I think you are a mountain person." She guessed, pursing her lips thoughtfully.
He cocked a brow at her faking offense that she could easily pinpoint.
He was a damn poor actor.
"You are, you know, grounded?" She started. "I mean, you are a believer in rhythms and cycles of life. You understand the brilliance to its core just like you understand contradictions. Except few times, you are mostly predictable. You have this intensely primal thing around you yet you are patient, wild yet quiet." She paused, averting her eyes, and licking her lips before she would utter the unthinkable yet our words betrayed her. "You are intoxicating yet ooze a sense of safety. You, your presence soothes me in this weird way that I keep coming back to you."
"Tara" He took her name gravely as again his knuckles tightened around the wheel "I am a fraud. An imposter."
■ ■ ■
Dhwani watched the man working on the couch, his laptop in one as he shuffled with a file in another. Continuous instructions were being shot at the other end of the phone as he kept reading the pages with a constant frown, eyes squinting to miss no word or detail.
She fisted the sides of the pillow, wanting to grow some spine to talk to him or start a conversation as her book was long forgotten and her eyes refused to move from the sight of the man who was tied to her in a sacred bond. She had the sudden urge to hold his complete attention on her like the past days he had fawned over her.
Taking care of her diet, medicines, and moods, and having her back at all times. He had given her respect, one thing she had never got in this relationship in the past.
But right now, her mind was nowhere at peace. It was running miles as his words made sense to her.
They were crude, harsh, and cold instructions that were thrown at whoever was at the other end. Being burnt from the subdued rage from the disaster of the event that flipped almost at once.
Everyone was content, enjoying the slow music as the event reached its finale where her grandfather-in-law would profess his gratitude towards the guests and unveil the plans for the foundation for the upcoming year.
But the entry of that one lady destroyed the peaceful event. She had watched the relief seep out of family members' faces and panic announcing its existence. Vidyut had walked out and Uttara followed him.
Rakshit looked ready to strike but Shreya held him back while Anirudh stormed towards the woman and politely commanded her to leave. The guests seemed to have recognized her face and had trudged past Anirudh in order to greet her.
Avantika Sahay was the name that the people had on their tongues while she waited clueless about her existence.
Licking her gums, she swallowed and tortured her gums, unable to form coherent words to let them out.
Anything to know what she meant to the family, the brothers, and prominently Vidyut.
"You need to stop before you tear the pillow cover apart."
She flinched as the whisper made her snap out of her world. Dropping the book, and sending the pillow flying away from her at once she stood up straight, yet entangled in the sheet made her lose her balance.
"Careful, Dhwani." Two arms held her, protecting her from kissing the floor.
"Sorry," Dhwani mumbled looking at his hands holding her upper arms securely, fingers tightly wrapped around her but the grip was nowhere bruising.
The soft hum made her look up and her eyes met his. He stood close to her, eyes no longer looked soft yet as they took her in, the hardness seemed to have lightened up.
"Can you stand?" He asked and she blinked deadpanning. His lips tipped up slightly and he dropped his hold on her.
"Thank you." She brushed her kurta to remove any invisible creases and gulped at their proximity, yet made no effort to step away from him.
"Are you not planning to sleep?" He frowned.
"I...you done working?" She glanced at the couch which looked void of his work files which littered around the last time she focused, eyes tipped to the side table clock, eyes widening a little as she realized it was past midnight.
With a snap of fingers, she looked back at him, his forehead marred with a frown as he watched her disoriented self. "I am wrapped up for the day but why are you not sleeping? It has been a long day."
"I was reading." She made an excuse, quickly gathering her book from the floor and holding it to show him.
"Oh." He nodded in understanding yet he seemed to be smirking. He took it from her fingers and started checking it. "What is this about?"
Dhwani licked her lips, she remembered nothing about what this book holds. She had randomly picked one from the library at the orphanage and had been trying to read it for the last three days but her brain seemed occupied.
His brow raised as he waited for her to answer.
She fiddled with her hair and went to pick the pillow up, stalling time to think before. She didn't remember the title as well. "It is about the social workers and group of IAS officers who had worked during the COVID time. It is their records of different states and their strategies to settle people and harbor them safely."
"Really?"
She nodded confidently, remembering the package she had ordered last month. They were all about the COVID times. Non-fiction books. "It has names of all the uncapped heroes and about their efforts. It is a great book."
"You sure?" He bit back his smile and settled on her side of the bed, eyes reading the typography and blurb on the back. He bit his inner cheeks to stop grinning and he passed her the book as if telling her to check once. "Is it not about love? That too, is a tragic love story."
"Love?" Dhwani snatched it from him and settled on the foot of the bed, hurrying to read the title and blurb as her skin flamed. Blood rushed to her face, neck, and ears as the words made sense to her.
"A day to dream." She tested the title and embarrassment made her swallow, eyes clutched shut as she made a fool in front of him.
"If you have read, I think I would like to try this." Anirudh jilted the book away from her hold, letting out his amusement as he played with the pages. "Tragic love between IAS officers and covid-19."
"Shut up." She threw the pillow at him and snatched the book again. She stuffed it in her closet, leaving him gaping. "Get away from my side, I am sleepy."
"Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?" He cocked a brow, sitting rather comfortably on her side and crossing his arms.
"What? I am doing nothing." She grimaced bashfully. "Just...just get up. It is late."
"Accha?" He challenged her amused. "Was it not late when you sat reading it?"
("Is it?")
"I can do anything I want." She claimed and watched him as he sat unmoving. "Will you move or I should go look for another room?"
"You can try." He shrugged leaning back, head tilted and eyes no longer emitting fire.
"You are so...so infuriating." She threw her hands up and yanked the pillow and blanket from below him. Storming towards the door she tried the handle but it remained locked. Pushing with her shoulder, she kicked and tried again.
"Tired?" He asked from his position, now lying down with his hands behind his head.
She swirled around to face him, panting. "It is jammed."
"Nope." He shook his head mirthfully. "It is locked. There is a difference."
Dhwani felt like bashing his head loudly. "Open it."
"I am sleepy." He stated and clicked on his phone twice. The lights switched off at once with only the night light giving her little visibility.
"Anirudh!" She gritted throwing her things on the couch. "Is this a way of telling me that I made a mistake giving into your 7 days?"
The lights switched back on almost immediately and he was up and around her in a blink.
"Of course not." He looked offended. "I was only teasing you."
"It didn't seem like that." She glared and crossed her arms looking away from him.
"Alright!" He surrendered, hands up in the air to convey the same. "I am sorry. Come let's sleep. It is getting late."
She kept mum.
"Petal?" He called her again. "Fine. Stand there."
He went back to bed and the lights were switched off again.
Her jaw dropped. She stormed towards him and snatched the device, switching the lights back.
"Will you not try again?" She demanded hovering above him with her arms crossed and tapping her foot.
"Have I not been trying every day?" He asked sitting up. The calm composure turned into something like ice. "Answer me, Petal. What do you think? Am I not trying enough?"
"I...I don't know." She stammered and turned back but only to be pulled back.
"What is it that you don't know? You don't know where this is going or what I am doing?" He held her eyes a prisoner of his.
"Let me go." She wiggled yet he held her firmly.
"Never."
She froze yet again, watching him staring at her. "I don't know you."
"Then try." He urged. "Try a little, can you? Only a little? I know I don't deserve it but I do deserve a little hint, Petal."
"Have I not given in to you? I am giving you a chance."
"I know." He sighed. "But I do not want you to keep second-guessing it every chance you get. Give me a little more to hold on to, please?"
"I don't know. I am sleepy." She swallowed and wiggled out of his hold. She picked up her pillow and blanket and dumped them in the middle. "Will you move to your side?"
He blinked sulking and rolled over to his side. She placed her pillow and put the excess around her.
She made her bed and got inside the comforter. This time, she switched off the lights and passed him the phone which he took wordlessly. Feeling the awkwardness in the air, she turned towards him. "G-good night?"
His eyes met hers, the intensity made her throat dry as he looked away. She was convinced he would never answer back but only to be proved wrong.
"Have sweet dreams, Petal."
These Chauhan men hold more patience then I could ever talk about.