SUSPENSION IS boring. Not having a reason to go outside is also boring. So, what do people do when they're bored? Well, I've not been around many people in my life until these few months.. so quick rephrase: What do I do when I'm bored?
I used to sneak out when Stefano was passed out.. I'd go to the library and study to make up for the time I hadn't got clear education; I really wanted to have my own business. Something to do with cars, security, electricity and those kind of aspects.
Once, I promised Mary I'd go out there and build the biggest company ever, and she'd be by my side. Maybe I won't be able to see her physically, but she'll still be there with me. Standing by my side when I do fulfill the promise, after all, I'm not one to go against my words.
Y'know, I could sneak out right now.. I've seen a cliff around here, it'd be just about a 10 minute walk from now.. It's been a while since I've sneaked out, and its been a longer while since I've sneaked out to a cliff.
Fuck it, why not?
Yesterday, when we came home, Giovanni was pretty mad, like you could practically see anger emitting from him. Elijah quickly came and guided me upstairs when Giovanni ranted about something, I think he said 'I was in an important meeting about we-' I couldn't make out the rest. Whatever they're hiding, it just makes me more.. wary about this choice to trust them. Seeing Giovanni that mad about something.. that seems to happen a lot makes me think he's going to become something like Stefano, but then again, he was one of the first people to comfort me when Elijah told them about my.. unfortunate past. A real big softie inside, it could all be an act though, couldn't it?
This whole- sneaking out idea could just make him more angry and stressed- then maybe, he'd-
Okay.. right now, I'll push those thoughts to the back of my head and proceed with this amazing idea.
I jump up from my position and rush into my closet. I glance around for a casual outfit, a pair of cargo jeans and a white long-sleeved turtleneck catching my attention. I grab Dior glasses and a star necklace. Real casual. I just need to blend in, try not to get caught by anyone. I doubt I will though, it's not like they can track me down or anything.
Sprinting back to my room, I quickly check the time.
'5:25AM'
Oh shit.. I'm definitely getting kidnapped. Who even goes to a cliff at 5AM? This is so damn stupid.
Okay.. I'm on the second floor and I have a newly-discovered balcony so I think if I jump, I'll just about make it without breaking any limbs.
I take a deep breath and slowly meander over to the balcony.
I look down and gulp. Fuck.
This isn't anything new, it's just that it's kinda been a bit since I've done anything like this. Like, I don't know, 4 months?
I raise my leg and bring it over the glass railing.
I do the same for my other leg, and sit on it, balanced.
Just then, a knock on my door sounds out.
Shit, shit, shit.
I stay there, frozen in major panic, thoughts like 'what the fuck do I do?' suddenly raiding my head.
Maybe, just maybe, if I stay quiet and unmoving, whoever this is will think I'm asleep and come back later.
But 4/5 of your brothers know you're always awake before 5:25AM..
Shit, let's just hope it's Nicholas then. He doesn't really come in here and disturb me.
I curl my lips and look down again. I could jump and run, I could retreat or I could shut the fuck up and wait for this person to go.
I'm going towards the 3rd option.
Another knock sounds out.
Everything feels like it's in slow-motion, my heart is beating immeasurable speeds right now. My breath quickens, my eyes widen. They're clearly not backing off, what do I even do?
If I do decide to retreat, I'd fall back with a thud, unless I can whip out some hidden ninja moves. But even then, I'm all dressed up.
"Azalea?" Elijah's confused voice calls out.
He's always checking on me, he knows I'm not asleep. After the whole long talk about my past, that's the way it's been.
I desperately look around for something I can use to help me get down.
I huff, not seeing anything. This is such bullshit.
He won't come in here, right?
Right?
A quiet creak comes from behind me, I take it as Elijah going away. I let out a loud breath I didn't know I was holding.
I smile lightly, preparing myself for the lengthy jump I'm about to make.
"Thank God," I sigh, mentally thanking him for not coming in here.
I freeze. I freeze when I hear loud footsteps approaching me, ones I know way too well.
"Azalea- what are you doing?"
I think I'm about to faint-
I open my mouth to speak, but close it again when I realize I have nothing to defend myself with. I sit there, opening and closing my mouth, without a doubt looking like mental a fish.
"I- uhm-"
Fuck it.
I attempt to get back down by pulling my legs over the railing as fast as I can, but I end up on the floor with a thud.
"Shit, my head," I groan, lightly patting it. My best attempt at changing the subject clearly wasn't the best.
I innocently smile when he slowly walk towards me.
"Azalea, why're you all dressed up with shoes- are you trying to run away?" He accuses, frowning.
"Obviously not," stupid accusation. It is completely reasonable though..
"Then enlighten me, what exactly were you trying to do?"
Does he know about the suspension yet? I wouldn't want him being mad at me or any of hi- our.. brothers.
"Well, I just get bored sometimes, no biggie. I wasn't going far, just to a- a um.. a walk, yeah, that.." If I'd told him that I was going to a cliff, he'd probably go all ballistic on me about how it's dangerous and all that. He seems to do that a lot.
"Right.. why not just ask one of us?" I furrow my eyebrows. Since these guys have soo much work with their large about of 'companies' wouldn't they be busy? There's no way Giovanni would allow Elliot or Aidan accompany me if he doesn't even trust them with themselves; Elijah is busy most of the time, I wouldn't want to disrupt their peace, I already feel like a burden.
I nod, not knowing what to say. "What are you in here for?" I ask, breaking the silence.
"Oh yeah, would you be.. fine following me to my office or..?" He questions, making sure I'm okay with it.
I grin. "I don't mind." Thank God he dropped the topic.
✯
I sink back into the baby blue fabric loveseat. I'm starting to regret this now.
Elijah has been seemingly debating whether to tell me about this mystery thing or not, it's making me worried. What could have him stressing so much.
He takes a deep sigh, and finally opens his mouth but closes it right back.
"Do you have anything to ask or what?" I impatiently ask. Maybe that was a little rude.
"Right, sorry‐ um‐ do you think you want a.."
"What?"
"A‐ a th.."
"You what? Sorry, can you not mumble?" I furrow my eyebrows. What the fuck?
"A therapist‐" He blurts out.
"A therapist?"
He nods hesitantly nods.
"NO! I mean- no, thank you."
There was one time I had decided I didn't want to keep my emotions under lock and key anymore. I went to a therapist. It was supposed to be private, no one would tell the cops or anything. Having being gullible and naive, I believed it. Once I was finished with the session, I headed back home. Police swarmed the front door. They were there, not interrogating him, not detaining him, but having a fun little conversation with him. Everyone was fucking civil with him. That night was the worse.
The beating, it was ruthless. He'd let all his anger out on me. Ignoring my pleads, begging for him to stop, he used a knife. That was the night I saw the real side of my father. The night he had become a stranger to me. The pain was unbearable. I could barely even move; I sat in a pool of my blood and tears the entire night. I promised myself I wouldn't ever tell anyone what had happened to me, ever again. I already broke that one, I'm not willing to break anymore.
"Oh, could I ask why?"
I shake my head slightly, pushing away tears. I won't cry now or here. I won't have him thinking I'm weak, then next I tell him everything else that had happened in my life. No.
"No, I just- I'm better off fending for myself, thanks."
"You sure? They wouldn't tell anyone, it'd be confidential. Nobody except them and you would know, unless it's medical and serious, they'd tell me." He suggests.
"Can you stop pressing on it? I said no. It's final, Elijah."
"Alright, sorry. Just let me know if you need anything, okay? I don't want you to feel alone. You're my sister, I'll always protect you."
I nod.
"May I go now?" My voice comes out just above a whisper.
'I'll always protect you.'
"Yes, of course. I'll see you later Azalea. We're all here for you, waiting for you to let us in. Whatever choice feels right for you is the right one, okay? We love you."
'We love you.'
✯
THANK YOU GUYS SO SO SO MUCH FOR 50K ON MY BOOK!! I'm so so so grateful for all of you ❤️❤️❤️
I'll see you on Thursday!
-Violet