Chapter 50
Elixxir's Point Of View
Ipinarada ko ang kotse at nagmamadaling naglakad papasok sa building namin.
Habang naglalakad din ay nakita ko sa daan si Aihna kaya naman malawak ang ngiti kong nilapitan siya.
"Aihna!"
Pagtawag ko sa kaniya bago sana akmang yayakapin siya nang kaagad niya akong tingnan ng masama.
Ofcourse I am kidding.
I've been teasing her a lot these days at palagi siyang iritado sa akin.
Hindi ko naman maiwasang gawin dahil sa tuwing ganito ang eksena namin ay doon lang nagbabgo ang ekspresyon sa mukha niya at nawawala ang pagiging sobrang seryoso.
Sa tingin ko nga ay mabilis siyang tatanda kapag hindi niya ginalaw ang mga muscles niya sa mukha.
"I told you that I'll kill you once you do that again."
Puno ng pagbabanta ang boses niya at mga mata.
Pero imbis na matakot ay malakas akong tumawa.
"Ofcourse I am just joking. Don't be so serious."
Kaagad niya akong inikutan ng mga mata at nagpatuloy na sa paglalakad papunta sa classroom namin.
Kaagad naman din akong sumunod habang hindi pa rin mawala ang ngiti sa labi.
These past few days, pakiramdam ko ay mas naging close kaming dalawa.
I am comfortable hanging out with her and she is also comfortable with me... probably.
Pagpasok sa loob ng classroom ay ito nanaman yung feeling na para bang mayroong mga matang nakatingin sa akin.
Well it's because there is.
There is the remaining four members of the Royals, my sister, Xsana, Aihna's allies who are my classmates Miyo and Aleiksa. Then there is him. Luhence.
Dinaanan ko lang silang lahat ng tingin at naupo na sa katabing bangkuan ni Aihna.
We exchange seats last week at talagang hindi kami magkasundo ng seatmate ko.
Magkaibang-magkaiba kasi kami ng gusto.
Gusto niya ng tahimik habang ako naman ay gusto siya na kausap.
That is why we really don't click.
"For Ten minutes read the poem and I will call someone to explain what is the poem is all about."
Anunsyo ng lecturer namin ngayon.
Isang beses ko lang na binasa ang poem na iyon at kaagad ng idinukdok ang ulo at pinagmasdan si Aihna na nagbabasa sa tabi ko.
She really look like a calm person on the outside. But inside she is a storm.
Nang makitang nakatingin ako sa kaniya ay kaagad niya akong tinaasan ng kilay.
"What?"
Tanong niya na ikinailing ko naman. Pagkatapos ay ngumiti.
Sa hindi malamang dahilan ay bigla nanaman siyang nairita, kinuha ang libro ko at inihagis iyon papunta sa gilid niya.
Mabilis naman akong tumayo para kuhanin sana iyon nang maabutan ako ng lecturer namin na kababalik lang.
"Did I tell you to stand up Mr. Louisiana? Didn't I told everyone to read the poem?"
Striktang sabi niya sa akin.
Tiningnan ko ang katabi ko na dahian kung bakit ito nangyayari sa akin ngayon.
She is acting like I was invisible to her. Tsk.
"Uh.. Ms. I am just–"
Hindi na niya pinatapos pa ang sinaabi ko at muli ng nagsalita.
"But since you are already standing up. Why not explain to us what is the poem is all about."
I stand straight after hearing what she said.
I heard it loud and clear. I just have to explain what the poem is all about.
Tumikhim muna ako para kuhain ang atensyon ng lahat.
I can see Aihna smirking beside me.
Hindi ko kakalimutang gantihan siya mamaya.
"Uhm.. the poem is–"
"Before you explain it to us. Please read the poem Mr. Louisiana."
Kaagad kong tinanguan ang guro.
Pero dahil sa itinapon nga ni Aihna ang libro ko ay inagaw ko ang sa kaniya.
Masama pa niya akong tiningnan pero hindi ko na siya pinansin.
Tumikhim ako at sinimulang basahin ang tula.
Annabel Lee
BY EDGAR ALLAN POE
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
I and my Annabel Lee—
With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we—
Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,
In her sepulchre there by the sea—
In her tomb by the sounding sea.
After explaining what the poem is all about, the whole class remained silent.
I can even hear some sneezing as if they were touched and cried.
Even I almost tear up by how sad the poem is.
Ang tingnan ko si Aihna ay nakatingin na siya sa akin.
Ang akala ko ay pagtatawanan niya akopero hindi.
Her face remained emotionless.
And as I stare at her, a line in the poem pops into my mind.
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
Pagkatapos ng klase ay kaagad siyang lumabas ng classroom.
Dahil sa hindi pa naka-ayos ang mga gamit ko ay ibinalik ko muna iyon sa bag bago siya tinangkang sundan.
Pero paglabas ko ng room ay sinalubong ako ni Xammie.
"Bakit?"
Kaagad na tanong ko sa kaniya.
Hindi ko na makita kung saan pupunta si Aihna!
"Let's talk."
Pagkasabi niya niyon ay ibinalik ko ang paningin sa kaniya.
"I have something I want to talk with you."
Sinukuan ko na ang ideya na sundan pa si Aihna at tinanguan siya.
Mukha siyang desperadong maka-usap ako.
Ngayon nalang din ulit matapos kong mag-quit sa club.
"Okay, let's go somewhere else."
Dinala niya ako sa clubroom ng The Royals. Kahit pa pinilit ko na huwag dito mag-usap, sa tingin ko ay hindi rin siya papayag.
Ayos na rin ito, since it's been a while since the last time I am here.
Wala na rito yung sofa kung saan ginamot ni Aihna ang sugat ko at natapon ang ointment. Pinalitan na nila ang dating grey na sofa ng kulay maroon.
Ang dingding naman na dati ay mayroong nakadisenyo na apat na pattern ng card, ngayon ay mayroon ng malaking disenyo ng Royal Flush na pare-parehong mga diamond.
Ace of diamonds.
King of diamonds.
Queen of diamonds.
Jack of diamonds.
And Ten of diamonds.
Nakakapanibago ang buong clubroom.
It is not like the same clubroom that I used to be in.
Natigil lang ang iniisip ko nang magsalita si Xammie.
"If you look at this room with so much longing, then why didn't you come back and choose to leave us permanently?"
Tiningnan ko siya at hinarap bago sumagot sa kaniya.
"Honestly speaking, the room really feels so nostalgic. But it's the persons I am with Sam. I can't continue living like a disable man who can't see or hear anything. Because I am not. I can see everything, and I can hear everything."
Mapait akong ngumiti sa kaniya.
"Uhna, she was such a sweet and honest and a sincere person. Ipinapakita niya kung ano talaga ang nararamdaman niya. Sinasabi niya kung ano talaga ang nasa isip niya. She has so many dreams she wants to achieve but we killed her."
Kaagad na kinontra ni Xammie ang sinabi kong iyon.
"You know we didn't."
"No. I don't know. But I will know. Soon."
Naging tahimik sa pagitan namin bago siya muling magsalita.
"Then how about Aihna?"
Kaagad na nalukot ang mukha ko sa katanungan niyang iyon.
Alam na ba niya ang tungkol kay Aihna?
Did they run a background check?
"What about her?"
Bumuntong-hininga siya bago muling magsalta.
"Are you two... dating?"
Hindi ako sumagot at nanatili lang na nakatingin sa kaniya.
That made her feel uneasy kaya naman muli siyang nagsalita.
"No. I mean, do you like her? Or does she likes you? Because you've been following her anywhere like you are her tail and you two– you seems close."
I bit my lip before answering her.
"She's just a friend."
Mukha siyang nakahinga ng maluwag matapos iyong marinig.
"Ofcourse she is. I am certain that there is nothing going on between you and her."
"Well, she is not interested in dating or falling in love."
Natawa siya sa sinabi kong iyon.
"That's nonsense. Who doesn't like dating? And love? That is inevitable."
Ngumiti ako at tumango sa kaniya.
"Right? She really doesn't make any sense."
Well, she does makes sense.
She is not interested in dating or falling in love right now because of her revenge.
She don't need a knight and shining armor or a prince charming. She is not a princess that is waiting to be saved.
She is on her own. She's that strong.
Mas lumawak ang pag-ngiti ko matapos na pumasok sa isipan ko ang iritadong mukha niya.
Ilang segundo lang rin ang lumipas at muli akong nagsalita.
"But you see, even though there is nothing going on between us and she is not interested in dating— and we are really just friends.... I still like her."
Mukhang nagulat siya sa sinabi ko pero kaagad ding natawa.
"Stop it. How could you like someone like her? She is–"
"Sam. I know that you've liked me for a long time now, but I can't reciprocate your feelings."
Namuo ang galit sa mga mata ni Xammie matapos na marinig iyon at mariin niyang hinawakan ako sa braso.
"Bakit? Bakit sa kaniya ay nagkagusto ko at sa akin ay hindi? Ano bang meron sa kaniya at nagkagusto ka sa babaeng iyon?"
Mahinahon kong inialis ang kamay niya sa magkabilang braso ko at hinarap siya.
"It's not about what she have Xammie. It's about what she needs."
Naguguluhan niya akong tiningnan kya naman sinimulan ko na magpaliwanag.
"Aihna, she may not look like it but she is carrying the whole word at her back. That is why I am always with her, to carry it with her so that she won't get tired and give up on her life."
Saglit akong huminto sa pagsasalit nang maalala ang gabi na nakita ko siyang nakatayo sa dulo ng rooftop ng hospital.
"I don't want to see her standing on the ledge again. I want her to live. She deserves to be happy and live without any worry."
"And I don't deserve to be happy?"
Kaagad kong iniiling ang ulo sa kaniya.
"No. Everyons deserves that. But the thing is that I am not supposed to be the person who should be standing beside of you."
"Kung ganoon, sino?"
Nagkibit-balikat ako.
"Who knows? Let the life unfolds itself. You won't know when, or who, or how at first. But it will eventually come. That day."
"How and when did you know?"
Bumuntong-hininga ako na sinundan ng pag-ngiti.
"Honestly? I just realized it now."
Matapos ng pag-uusap naming iyon ni Xammie ay dumiretso ako sa banyo ng mga lalaki at kaagad na naramdaman ang panghihina ng tuhod at kaagad na tinakpan ang mukha.
"I just said it."
Hindi makapaniwaang sabi ko sa sarili.
I said that I like Aihna.
I don't even now how I will face her now.
How can I even feel this way after what I did to her sister?
But disregarding about Uhna. I never thought that I will feel this way towards Aihna.
This is bad.
What should I do?
My heart won't stop beating.
My heart is racing so fast.