It shouldn't be this difficult. It really shouldn't.
Zhuo Zhi was just beginning to come to terms with his small crush on Zhihao when she went on a date with his little brother. Which was totally okay, because his feelings weren't anything serious anyway, just some dumb, probably temporary infatuation.
So why did it still hurt?
Zhuo Zhi flopped on his side, still thinking about last night. He had just come home with the snacks Zhuo Yu requested when he had heard loud laughing coming from the kitchen.
It wasn't just any laugh either, it was Zhihao's, which was quite recognizable now, laughing at a funny comment Zhuo Yu had apparently made.
Noticing the way Zhihao avoided his questions, Zhuo Zhi had put two and two together, realizing that his brother had kicked him out of the house for some secret alone time with Zhihao.
Not one to make a dramatic fuss, Zhuo Zhi had made some excuse off the top of his head about having a headache so the two would get their precious alone time, immediately heading to his room.
Funny, because he ended up getting a headache not long after he threw himself onto his bed. And it really didn't help that all Zhuo Zhi could hear was the the shrieks of laughter coming from downstairs, even through the jazz music that he had put on to block the noise.
It was a miracle when Zhihao had finally left, the front door shutting with a click, mercifully giving Zhuo Zhi the peace and quiet he desperately longed for.
To Zhuo Zhi's relief, Zhuo Yu had left him alone in silence after Zhihao's departure, only coming up to his room to check on his headache and offer some snacks a few hours later.
Zhuo Zhi sighed, burying his head into his pillow. He was really being dramatic about this, it's not like it's been that long since he realized his crush, which really wasn't that big to begin with.
Zhuo Yu made the first move so Zhuo Zhi should support him. Even if he didn't know Zhihao nearly as well as Zhuo Zhi did, or for as long as Zhuo Zhi did. Not like Zhuo Zhi knew Zhihao very well anyway.
But he wanted to.
But that didn't matter anymore.
Besides, romantic stuff really wasn't Zhuo Zhi's thing in the first place. He was better off being disinterested in relationships like he had always been.
No biggie.
So, Zhuo Zhi began to distance himself from Zhihao in classes, giving his brother the support he could by backing away from the girl.
It should've been easy, since Zhuo Zhi had gone his whole life without Zhihao and these cursed feelings. And yet, it wasn't.
Nevertheless, Zhuo Zhi began to lessen his communication with Zhihao, only speaking to her when necessary.
He avoided making eye contact when Zhihao looked over at him, which was quite frequently, much to Zhuo Zhi's annoyance, pointedly working on his schoolwork with feigned enthusiasm.
Zhuo Zhi had even began walking to tennis practice alone, not bothering to wait for Zhihao after class anymore. When Siyang questioned this, Zhuo had just shrugged cryptically, feigning ignorance as he painted a cheerful smile on his face.
Admittedly, Zhuo Zhi was going out of his way to avoid the girl. It was cruel of him, yes, since it wasn't Zhihao's fault that he fell for her shining personality and humor that matched his.
It wasn't her fault either that she was the first to really listen to him when he needed it, or that hanging out with her was always an interesting a great time.
Okay, maybe his crush was a bit bigger than he had originally thought.
But, Zhuo Zhi reasoned, maybe distancing himself from Zhihao for a while would help him get rid of his stupid, one-sided feelings.
Besides, Zhuo Zhi should be focusing on his studies and tennis instead. Not on whatever this crappy plot of a teenage heartbreak show was going on.
Teenage heartbreak, Zhuo Zhi scoffed. I crush on this odd woman for a few weeks, and suddenly she plagues all of my thoughts. Truthfully, teenage heartbreak was quite an apt name. He truly has gone downhill.
This is why I don't do feelings, exactly for this reason.
Unfortunately though, Zhihao cornered Zhuo Zhi during a morning before school, set on confronting the man on his strange, and mildly hurtful behavior.
She had memorized Zhuo Zhi's schedule, enlisting his little brother's help with a bribe of many many snacks, just to get a chance to talk to Zhuo Zhi without the guy bolting away the second he saw her.
Zhihao was literally going broke just for this man.
Catching sight of Zhuo Zhi practicing harder than usual at the tennis court, Zhihao frowned. Was something going on between him and Zhuo Yu again?
Walking straight toward Zhuo Zhi, Zhihao watched quietly as he swung at each ball with much more force than necessary.
"You're avoiding me," she stated in a neutral tone, staring at the amount of sweat on Zhuo Zhi's back. He must've been here for a long time, despite it being only 6:20.
The man immediately jerked his head at Zhihao, ignoring the ball that flew past him as it was shot from the machine.
Zhihao didn't miss how his eyes darted around, as if looking for another excuse to leave her this time.
Not giving Zhuo Zhi a chance to defend himself, Zhihao continued on. "I'm not going to press on you for details but I just want to know if you're okay."
The carefully crafted blank expression on her face suddenly morphed, now full of concern. "Zhuo Zhi, I'm worried about you. I- Is there something going on again?
Zhuo Zhi blinked, unsure what to say. Would it be out of line if he mentioned her relationship with his brother? Should he?
"I've.. I've just been busy lately, sorry. It's nothing, I promise. I'll be back to normal soon I'm sure," he replied as casually as possible, and then offered a numb smile to Zhihao. I have to go back to normal soon.
Zhihao furrowed her brows. Zhuo Zhi wasn't telling the full truth and she knew it, as she watched his eyes continue to avoid hers. But it wasn't her place to demand answers if he didn't want to give them.
Zhihao heaved a sigh before reluctantly accepting Zhuo Zhi's vague answer. "Okay. Just know I'm here for you if you need me to listen, always."
How ironic, Zhuo Zhi bitterly thought. You offer to listen but this is the one thing I can't say.
He slowly exhaled, collecting his thoughts, before giving Zhihao a small, gentle smile - the first one she's seen in weeks. "I know, thank you. I just.. I need time."
It really wasn't the response she wanted to hear, but Zhihao gave an understanding nod anyway. Trying to lighten the mood, she changed the subject. "I heard that Siyang is a lot harder on you guys now, huh?" Jiale hasn't stopped complaining about it for a while now.
At the topic change, Zhuo Zhi relaxed slightly, relieved. "Mhm. We're against No. 3 High School next, they're a formidable team."
"Oh?" Zhihao's lips curled upward. "Even against you, the great genius and all?" She joke, referring to their inside joke.
It seemed to be the wrong thing to say, however, because the faint smile on Zhuo Zhi's face quickly faded. "Yeah, I should probably get back to practicing. So that I'm prepared."
Zhihao's hopeful face fell. "Oh." This time, her 'oh' was a lot less joyful.
Zhuo Zhi quickly turned around so that his back faced Zhihao, pretending that he didn't notice the disappointment laced in her voice and facial expression.
"I'll leave you to it then," Zhihao gave a weak smile, even though Zhuo Zhi couldn't see it. He knew anyway.
Zhuo Zhi didn't bother bidding the girl a goodbye as he continued his swings, pretending he didn't notice the thuds of footsteps as she walked away.
He seemed to be doing an awful lot of pretending these days.
When Zhihao was finally out of Zhuo Zhi's sight, not that he would turn around to see her anyway, Zhihao let out a large sigh, thoughts conflicted.
This wasn't how the conversation was supposed to go at all; Zhihao was supposed to offer her comfort and support to Zhuo Zhi, maybe even get him to talk to her again.
But at the same time.. at least she even got a conversation from the man anyway. Although it was a very brief one, the few words Zhuo Zhi said to her today were much more than the cold silences he'd been giving her recently.
How ironic, Zhihao thought bitterly, a crooked smile pasted on her face.
~~~
A/N: Two things I really love in fanfics: miscommunication and parallels 🤩🤩
And irony, but that kinda goes along w parallels
- Apple <3