The next morning, I walked to the Gallaghers where Lip was testing Ian on math stuff.
"Hey, Mayo," Carl said.
"Hey, bud," I said, rubbing his head.
"She hasn't even slept with him yet," Lip said.
I rolled my eyes as Lip brought Karen up AGAIN.
"Maybe he's a eunuch," Lip said.
"Maybe she just likes him," Ian said.
"You know, not everyone wants to have sex on the first date," I said. Ian nodded and smiled in agreement. It is weird that Karen of all people wasn't having sex with a guy that she was seeing, but I respected it.
"Lip, why are you sleeping in my bed?" Fiona said, getting up from the couch.
"Ask her," Lip pointed to Debbie.
"I moved Liam," Debbie said, "I can't be in the same room where Liam is constantly masturbating!"
"It's not masturbating if nothing comes out," Carl said, making me snort.
"According to whom?" Fiona said.
"My friend, Jack O'Donnell."
"That's not true, Carl," I said.
"It's kind of true," Lip said.
"Not legally true," Ian said.
After a few more seconds of discussion of masturbation, Fiona changed her shirt and took charge.
"Hey, Gallaghers!," Fiona said before looking at me, "And honorary Gallagher. I need focus and cooperation. Unfortunately, Frank has rented out his room to a pregnant woman."
"I already told them," Debbie said. I raised an eyebrow, obviously having no knowledge of this.
"You let her in last night?"
"She let herself in. She has a key. Besides, she's from China. They kill extra babies there."
"All thanks to communism and Deng Xiopang," I said.
"Liam needs to go back in with you," Fiona said.
"No!" Debbie protested.
"Debbie-
"What's done is done!"
Fiona sighed, "Alright. For now, Liam's in the boys' room."
"What?" Carl said.
"Four guys in one room," Ian said.
"Isn't that a health code violation?" Lip said.
"Lip, that's normal for most colleges," I said.
"Yea, for fuckin' suites."
I shrugged. Apparently, a lot of colleges had issues with over-accepting, therefore having to cram more people into smaller rooms. I'd probably lose my mind.
"I'll find Frank and figure this out but until then, four in the room," Fiona said.
The pregnant lady came downstairs with a pan and what looked like either chicken or duck. She gave us all dirty looks, and no one said a word.
Fiona grabbed her phone and called Frank, "Somebody dropped off 200 dollars for you. Said he owed you and thanks."
"Who?" Frank said.
"Unshaven, flannel shirt, cauliflower ear," Fiona said, "I'm leaving 50 for you on the mantle, but I'm buying groceries with the rest!"
"That is my money, Fiona!" Frank yelled before she hung up.
"Bravo," Ian said as I high-fived her.
"Give him hell, sis," Lip said, "We're off to work."
On the way out, I hugged Carl and Debbie.
"Behave yourself, and don't ask the lady racist questions," I said.
"Aw, man," Carl whined.
________________________________________________
We walked to Kash 'n Grab and started working with stacking and taking inventory. Mickey was there too. Jesus, was Linda a tight ass. But to be fair, she was pregnant and couldn't get out of bed due to preeclampsia. And her dickhead pedophile husband left her with her two sons.
Two kids came into the store and were about to steal candy bars when Mickey, without even turning around, said, "You two can put that back, or I can crack your skulls on the pavement."
Without hesitation, they ran out.
"Can you and Sergeant Slaughter help us out with some cases of pop?" Lip said.
"Hey, you want me to get you some blow?" Mickey asked, "Uppers, downers, special K."
"We're good," I said, "But thanks, Mick."
"Yeah, just beer, joints, and cigarettes," Lip said, "No one under fourteen."
"That's giving up a big market," Mickey said.
"Helps keep my conscience clean," Kev said.
"I mean, we could always bring it down to thirteen," I said, "Teenagers and up."
"Still pretty big, princess," Mickey said to me.
I shrugged.
"Worth a try. Hey, Ian, we need more rocket pops. Could you have Linda order some of those too?" I asked.
"Yeah, and keep it up with those geometry theorems," Lip said.
"Will do," Ian said.
"Alright, see ya," I said as Kev started the truck.
Business was great that day. There were so many people at the park, especially with V bringing her patients from the nursing home.
"We are crushing it!!" I said, smiling as I flipped through the money.
"Yea, nothing pays like hipsters, minors, and the elderly," Lip said.
"V, you gotta start bringing those geezers around every day," Kev said, "They love their sugar."
"Shit, Denise needs her insulin shot," V said getting up, abruptly. Kev kissed her goodbye and she left. Oh, what I would give to have what they have someday.
"Bye, Lip, bye, Mayonnaise!" V said.
"Bye!" we both said.
"How much you got?" Lip asked me.
"About fifty."
Lip took the money and flipped through it, looking at Kev, "Hey um, if a chick, you know, she's taking it slow with a guy, and not sleeping with him, what do you think that means?"
I wanted to hit my head against the truck. Why were we still on this?
"Means you're not getting laid," Kev said, stating the obvious before selling a third beer to one of our customers, "Don't come back unless it's to buy pot, ok?"
The boy nodded and went about his way.
"Gotta watch out for those girls. That means they like you. Like, love you like you. And they keep holding back because they're so into you, but they're also waiting for you to grasp how awesome they are. That sounds about right, Mayonnaise?"
"Yup. Pretty spot on," I said, "I mean, the more you wait, the better it gets. Because you've been waiting so long, it's like this beautiful amazing experience. But I don't know, that's just me."
"No, you're so fucking right, Mayo!" Kev said, his eyes widening, "That's exactly what I'm trying to say."
Another young customer came up to the truck. He looked about eleven, "Two buds and a spliff, please."
"How old are you?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Fifteen," he said, "Here's four fives. Keep the change."
"Yeah, nice try. I'm fifteen," I said, "Raise your arms."
He did as I said, and Kev and I looked at him.
"Come back when you grow some hair on your pits," Kev said.
"I shave-
"Get out of here!" Kev said before turning back to Lip, "Chicks that hang out with you and don't sleep with you, run the other way, dude. Because she's ready to stop playing and settle down."
Lip was silent the whole drive back, and then he wandered off to god knows where.
I stayed at the Gallagher's that night and helped Fiona with dinner. Lip didn't join, though. It's a shame because the food that night was really good.
After dinner, I watched TV with Carl, who fell asleep on my lap. In the middle of a Woodstock documentary that came on, Lip came in.
"Mayo, let's go for a drive, yea?"
"Everything ok?"
"No, it's not," Lip said, nervously tapping my foot, "I just need to drive to the water, and I'll tell you."
I nodded and slowly took Carl off my lap and put him on the couch. We walked to my house, got in the car, and pulled over near the river. Neither of us said anything as the music played and then stopped. We got out of the car, and Lip pulled out his cigarettes.
"Want one?"
"Sure," I said. He lit our cigarettes, and we looked out at the water.
"I just don't understand what she's doing with a guy like that," Lip said.
"Hm, where have I heard that before?" I said, exhaling.
Lip looked at me and shook his head, "I just don't know what I'm doing wrong."
"You already know what I'm going to say," I said.
"Do I?"
I groaned.
"We can't keep having this conversation, Lip," I said, "You need to move on. Move on with someone who- I don't know- actually gives a shit about you! God, I don't even know why I'm here. You obviously don't even care about me because you're so hung up on Karen."
"That's not true," he said.
"It is."
"It's not."
"Really?" I said, "Because if you gave a shit about me, you wouldn't still be trying to get with her. And talk about it in front of me. It's disrespectful to me, the girl you've been sleeping with for the past five months, and it hurts my feelings!"
"Mayo, I care about you so much," he said, "More than most people in my life."
"Then prove it to me," I said.
"Fuck off."
"Prove it, or I'm leaving you here, and you can walk your happy ass home."
Lip shook his head, flicked his cigarette into the river, and kissed me. As we started making out, and things got more intense, Lip pulled away.
"Back of the car. Now."
"Am I gonna regret this?" I said.
"Maybe."
I rolled my eyes, "Fuck it."
I knew this wasn't the best idea, but I didn't want to stop.
We got in the car, locked the doors, turned on The College Dropout album, and resumed making out. With our clothes ripped off of one another, I grabbed a condom from my purse and gave it to him.
Slowly, he put it on he pushed himself inside of me.
"Oh, fuck," I said, throwing my head back and sinking my long nails into his back.
Slow Jamz blasted loud enough so our moans weren't that loud or suffocating.
"You're so fucking hot. This is amazing," he groaned.
"Faster," I whisper-moaned, "I'm almost there."
After a few more thrusts, we both came, and he pulled out and fell on top of me. My car windows were foggy, and Through the Wire had just turned on. Car sex wasn't the best, but at least I was with Lip. I played with his curly hair as he rested his head on my chest.
"I'll always love you, Philip," I said.
He lifted his head, "You will?"
"Yes. That's what scares me."