The week finished as soon as it started and Hea was making progress with Jimin.
Or so she thought...
She made him smile, stayed with him until dark, slept over occasionally.
But what she didn't realize was that it wasn't entirely true.
He wasn't entirely happy.
Jimin refused to tell her. She was trying so hard to make him happy but he just didn't feel like it.
He felt different...drained. He didn't feel like himself.
And as much as Hea told him to let her help. He told her nothing.
Why? Because his anxiety made him think he was a burden.
Despite Hea telling him he was not over and over, that thought somehow manages to get into his head every time.
So he did what he thought was best.
Jimin ignored her and faked it when he had to meet her.
He found every way possible to see her less, even if it hurt him.
And when they walked home, he made sure he smiled and talked and laughed. Because he knew she was trying her best.
However Hea wasn't stupid.
She read his eyes whenever he smiled. It wasn't genuine.
She noticed the little excuses about homework.
It all started the following week and now she desperately wanted to sit him down and force him to tell her what's wrong and what's been bothering him.
But Hea knew she couldn't. She had to wait until he opened up and she didn't like waiting. She was impatient.
It's been two weeks of the excuses and the fake smiles and the fake reassurance that everything was okay.
It's not she didn't understand him. But she wanted to help.
So here she was again going to ask him if they could take Casper to the park on the weekend.
"Um Hea, I am sorry. I am a bit busy this weekend... Homework and stuff."
Honestly, she expected this answer.
It's the same one she got for the past two weeks.
Nevertheless, ignoring the pang in her heart, she smiled telling him its fine.
Jimin felt guilty lying but he didn't know what else to do.
He doesn't want to be a burden.
The two walked home and Jin as usual, gave Hea dinner to go home with.
When they were bidding goodbye, a message came on Jimin's phone.
Hea noticed how he looked it at and his eyes went wide. Then he cleared his throat and shut down his phone.
"Who was that?"
"No one. Just a message from my brother."
Lie.
His fake smile alone confirmed it.
Hea just smiled and hugged Jimin before leaving for her house.
Jimin never leaving her mind even after she reached home.
What was in the message that got him so scared?
She knew just what to do.
She pulled out her laptop and started typing.
She was trying to hack into Jimin's phone. She wasn't a troublemaker for nothing.
Hea was very impatient. There was no way she was going to sit all weekend and watch Jimin ignore her and maybe do something even worse.
She didn't want the last incident to repeat knowing she wouldn't be there stop it.
So she tried to find out herself.
"Fuck!" She slammed her fist on the bed.
The information wouldn't load for another day.
"What the fuck, why?!"
Hea shook her head and took a deep breath.
"Let's try again."
And the same thing happened.
"Argh!"
Giving up on it for now, Hea closed her laptop and allowed herself to relax.
Soon enough she fell asleep.
The next day when Hea woke up, she texted Jimin as usual.
And like every day for the past couple days, she was left on read.
The girl did her morning routine and sat on her bed waiting for Jimin's phone information to load.
She needed to know what made him so scared.
And then it loaded.
Messages.
Tons of messages.
Not from a stranger but from his own father and stepmother.
It started the day she told him to stay at Jin's house a week ago.
Hea read through the messages and there were threats.
Some very descriptive from his stepmother about what she would do when she sees him again.
Then from his father, telling him if he doesn't come home he'll destroy everything he loves and his two little friends at school.
Hea was disgusted. It made her more furious and impatient to carry out her plan.
Then she read the last message.
It was an invitation. Different from the threats before, Jimin's dad invited him to a family dinner to "reconcile".
Hea was beyond furious but then her love for Jimin took over and she became concerned.
She understood why he ignored her.
He didn't want her to get involved or for her to get hurt.
Hea needed to see him.
She ran out the house and sprinted to Jin's place.
Probably looking crazy, but the girl didn't care.
She hurriedly knocked on the door and a strange, tall man opened the door.
Completely different face from the people she's seen the last time she was there.
"Uh who are you?" He asked.
"Is Jin home?" Hea asked impatiently, shifting from feet to feet.
"Yes he is." The male answered, suspiciously.
Just then Jin appeared in the door way .
"Hey Hea! Jimin's upstairs. Come in."
She was agitated as she entered the house and all she wanted to do was run upstairs.
"I see you've met my boyfriend Namjoon." Jin told her, introducing the tall man, who smiled in return.
Her head turned to the two and she smiled. "That's cool. But I really need to see Jimin."
"Oh um can I hand you the key? Cause me and Namjoon are kinda going on a date."
Hea took it quickly, watched as the door closed and rushed upstairs where Jimin was.
The door was half open and Hea entered his room quietly.
The sight broke her heart and made her stop dead in her tracks.
He was just staring at the wall. Numb.
"Jimin." She whispered. And walked close.
The boy sat up in alarm and tried to pull the sheets over his body but Hea caught sight of it.
"Why wouldn't you let me help you Jimin? We're friends. Then why?" She walked closer to him.
The girl noticed he had a tight grip on the sheet. His blank stare and his silence spoke for itself.
She immediately assumed the worst.
"No." The girl shook her head, eyes widening.
"You didn't. You fucking didn't."
Hea watched him let go of the sheet and her gaze fell to where he was trying to hide.
[TW: Self harm; mention of burning. Please do not read further if uncomfortable.]
He was wearing basketball shorts and the many burns on his thighs were clearly shown.
Tears slowly dropped from her eyes. Hea looked at him betrayed.
"Since when?" She whispered.
"Since when have you been doing this Park Jimin?!"
"The last four days." He whispered, tears clouding his vision seeing her cry.
"No,no,no,no,no." She said, backing away not letting the remaining tears to fall.
"Hea. I-i am sorry." He whispered.
"Jimin." She said, voice cracking.
It was the only thing she could say. She was in too much shock. The man she loved hurt himself and she wasn't able to stop it.
"I should've fucking been there!" She shouted, running her hand through her hair.
"I should've been there to fucking stop you!" She shouted in anger.
Jimin watched her feeling nothing but guilt. He wished he could go back in time and reverse his actions.
Hea kicked the sheet on the ground then looked at him in the eyes.
"You told me you wouldn't. You promised." She said letting her tears fall endlessly.
"I am sorry." Jimin apologized. Nothing else came to mind for him to say.
The girl crouched down, burying her face in her hands.
"I should've let you live with me. I should've fucking been there to-"
Hea was cut off when Jimin walked towards her and hugged her.
The two sobbed in each other's embrace.
"Hea. I am sorry. I got overwhelmed and my dad threatened me. So I did it without thinking. Trust me, I wanted to stop because I thought of you but I- I didn't. I don't know why."
She shut her eyes tight and wrapped her arms around him even tighter.
She hugged him caressing his hair.
"Please Jimin. Don't fucking do that again. It hurts. It hurts me seeing you like this."
He said nothing but allowed himself to be comforted by her. He needed this.
They both did.
When they finally separated, Jimin didn't allow her speak.
"I was scared. My dad texted me threats this entire week since I didn't return home. And I didn't know how to deal with it. Trust me I would've went to you. But I just thought... I-I thought I would be too much of a burden on you.
"And then yesterday he texted me saying he wanted me to come for a family dinner. When you left, I did it again. I didn't want to. But my thoughts got the best of me. I was terrified of what would happen if I didn't go and I was terrified of what would happen if I did go. There was no win for me. So, I just picked up the lighter."
Jimin was crying while explaining.
"Oh Jimin." She wiped her tears and rubbed his back.
"I hate them! W-Why did they have to make my life a living hell, Hea? What have I ever done to them?"
"You did nothing Jimin. Absolutely nothing." The girl whispered.
"Every time I look at these marks, I am reminded of them. How the treated me and the marks that they gave me that were worse than this. Then when I am supposed to hate these scars, I feel...addicted. And I want to do it again because it is comforting in a way. Even with the pain..."
"Jimin, I am sorry for yelling." She whispered. "I just lost control seeing you like this. But I am here now. I know I can't tell you to stop and you would permanently. I know i can't tell you everything will be fine immediately cause it won't. But I can help you through it. I am never leaving your side again. I will help you get through this."
Hea took his hands.
"And the first step. I don't want you to panic but the first step is going to the family meet."
Jimin looked at her in disbelief and his hands shaked in hers.
"Why?! Hea, they'll torture me there! It's not a family gathering. They just want to blackmail me into going back with them!"
Hea rubbed circles on his hands.
"Jimin, listen to me. Breathe."
"WE are going there. I will make sure they stop this madness. I will be there to protect you. I will be right next to you holding you hand and they won't even be able to touch you."
Jimin stared at her.
He wanted to speak but his tongue was tied.
Why?
Why is she willing to help him?
Why is she not considering him a burden and leaving him?
All these things he expected. He expected her to leave the first time he opened up to her.
But she stayed.
Then when he tried to cut, he expected her to leave.
But she stayed.
And now, seeing his actual scars, he expected her to leave.
But she stayed.
Why?
And why did he want her to?
So many questions left unasked and unanswered.
But Jimin's tongue was tied.
All he could do was hug her.
"Thank you Hea... For staying." He mumbled in her chest and she caressed his back.
"I am always here for you Jiminie." She whispered.
They stayed like that for a while until Jimin fell asleep.
Hea picked him up off the floor and placed him on the bed.
She picked up his phone and opened it.
Pulling up the contact, she answered saying Jimin will be there tomorrow for the family dinner.
She was going to get revenge now.
______________________________________
Well, this chapter was alot.
I took a lot of time writing this because as much as it was painful to put my character through this, I want to make you understand Jimin's character in this story. For most of you who don't know, burning also known as a form of self harm is normally done when one has inner confusion. It's done normally to reduce anxiety, distraction from painful emotions, to feel something or as punishments for perceived faults one thinks they have. Hence why Jimin did it.
Now all I am asking, is those that have thoughts about doing this because you feel it's too much. Please don't.
Don't hurt yourself.
You can reach out to others. Family, friends, persons willing to listen. And if you feel there's no one, you can reach out to me.
Why am I doing this?
If you haven't noticed, my stories so far touch on topics that I feel need more attention to. Mental Health, Abuse, Low self esteems, etc. I have multiple friends who struggle with these problems. Even I struggled with real bad anxiety and self deprecating thoughts that used to get in my head alot but I am getting better. And if I can do it, you can too. So just reach out to someone, anyone. Me included.
And that was all I wanted to say.
See you guys next time.