Every flaw I love in you except your absence.
~ unknown
How he was keeping up with all that was happening in his life itself was divine intervention. The prior days had been nothing short of bleak. Drowning himself in work-related activities was the only distraction at hand, considering he was working on establishing his own industry.
Without her, the manse was extremely empty and suffocating. As if the walls were closing on to him. Due to such, he resulted to staying up late in his office. Her absence had been superseded by a dark lingering cloud above his head.
Instead of concentrating on the conference at hand, his mind drifted to the conversation he had had with Hajia Laura right before the meeting. She told him how Mariya's encounter at Gidado mansion ended. Not that he wasn't aware of it. Fareed had told him everything.
She pleaded for the innocence of her daughter, comforting him at the same time. In the end, he was who did the consolation because the woman had broken down in tears.
Before ending the call, she thanked him for being understanding enough. Someone else wouldn't have given it a second thought before cutting ties with Mariya and her family. He has witnessed the respectable woman so vulnerable, so he knew she meant all that she had said.
He was well aware of Mariya's new address. However, he had been advised not to confront her while he was still disarrayed. The advice was taken into consideration by him. The last time they had to meet in a similar situation, it ended in tears, no doubt. He didn't want such a situation where they would speak irrationally to each other.
He snapped out of his reverie by the shuffling of feet by the occupants of the room, who were filing out of the room.
Zayn quirked up an eyebrow. How fast the time had passed by while he was lost in thoughts. He tried to recall what he had gained from the gathering__nothing. That was his conclusion after giving up wracking his brain in search of one. He sat in his seat at the head of the table, fingers interlaced under his chin.
" You weren't paying attention."
His eyes shot at Hassan who was seated at the far end of the large rectangular table that occupied most of the space. He sported a smirk that Zayn itched to wipe away. On the other hand, Zayn remained nonchalant. He noticed the confident ambiance his cousin carried about these days. It proved nothing good.
" I don't blame you though," Hassan's irritable voice echoed within the soundproof room only the both of them occupied. " With the loss of a child, a run-away wife, and unstable mental health, who wouldn't be this distracted? You are not at fault."
It only alluded to a chance that Zayn wouldn't step down from his position in the industry if he proved incapable of handling it anymore. That would be of great benefit to Hassan.
Zayn let out a mirthless chuckle." See who is talking about ebbing mental health. You are the drug freak here." He retorted.
" You are not foreign to it either, are you?" Hassan countered.
Zayn's silence was enough to answer. Those ugly days. He won't let Hassan rub it in his face.
Hassan got up from his seat and rounded the lengthy table to Zayn's side. He banged his fisted hand on the space in front of Zayn, making the uncapped bottle of water in front of him spill on the files there.
He wanted to snap Zayn out of his nonchalance. Zayn didn't budge at all. He knew better than to fall into Hassan's trap. He only pitied his pathetic cousin.
That wounded Hassan's ego. He wanted Zayn to yell at him, slap or hit him, just so he could use it against him even in the slightest effort.
He didn't want any further encounters with Hassan. Not anymore. He knew better than to retort. Hassan's actions were pointless, and Zayn would make sure they stay the same.
Knowing he had more essential things to do, he got up and headed to the parking lot, leaving his cousin behind. He was grateful to his assistant for having to jot down the proceedings of the gathering as a
minute. What Hassan did after his departure was none of his business.
Walking through the unilluminated foyer of his manse was nothing but excruciating. He missed how he would come home to the aroma of mouthwatering delicacies teasingly assaulting his senses. How she would hug him from being and tell him how much she had missed him. He yearned for the days they sat together and discussed the day's events over dinner. He was disturbed. He felt empty and null. He had been just an atom away from driving to her apartment when Fareed told him about her apartment being supposedly plagued. He wondered what would have transpired if she had been at home at that time. It made him shudder. For security purposes, he ordered a security company to bind the place with full CCTV coverage, and other security measures available. He opted for the best they could offer.
He liked how he still cared about her after everything that has happened. It only meant that his heart hasn't grown cold towards her. It would never. At this juncture, he was convinced that she couldn't have such a thing. He didn't need any evidence to prove that for himself. The misgivings of her absence taught him that.
He didn't switch on the lights in the living room either. He pretty much navigated himself through the vaguely illuminated house.
On muscle memory, his feet carried him up the stairs, then to a room he had wanted to cherish its occupant
so dearly
He twisted the doorknob to the room and was greeted by utter darkness. His hands found the switch and lit up the space within the fleet of a second. The room looked exactly like he had left it in the morning. She had been so happy when he presented the furnished room to her. An immaculate burst of white and purple. He made his way to the rug in the middle of the room and settled on it. It was so soft and would have accommodated its original owner gently. He reminisced a memory he used to cherish so much. Apparently, it felt haunting. He had dreamt of a son. In his dream, the child was more inclined to Mariya. The toddler who was a little bit older laughed contagiously as Mariya tickled him__ Naseer.
It felt haunting because he knew all hopes of it happening has been shattered. The pain of having to abandon a dream was bugging him, but seeing it die without being able to do anything to kindle it alive was far worse.
He shut his eyes and inhaled deeply when he felt a few drops of tears cascade down his face.
" Allah," he whispered. He could feel his chest tighten in despair.
He felt like crying his heart out in prayer, with his forehead on the ground. It was as if God had come down from the seventh heavens to exclusively console him. It always worked better than magic. He also prayed for his wife, hoping that she would find ease in whichever state she was in. He was still mulling over whether to call her or not.
*~*
The screen of her MacBook displayed sections of live footage of the security cameras that had been installed around her apartment. She was still shaken by the incident that happened earlier in the day. She didn't want the police to get involved, although Fareed had pressed. She wasn't even allowed to take a breath of solace even for a split second. It was always one problem after the other. Single-handedly, Fareed had set the apartment back into place before they left for the hospital for a much-needed appointment.
Apparently, Fareed was out to get them some food to eat. He complained about her not eating well. After ensuring that the security cameras were functioning without a hitch, she shut the MacBook and made for her suitcase that was right beside her bed. It was easy to navigate the side zip and fish out a black leather file. She flipped through the pages and stopped when she found what she was looking for. A sonogram of her baby and a few sheets of paper that included every bit of her hospital records regarding her pregnancy and its termination. She didn't want to have it around her anymore as it reminded her of her failure. In a fit of anger fueled by disappointment, she shredded them into bits and discarded them into a bin. It did nothing to subdue her anger. The anger gave way to grief, and she wept hard.
Fareed returned with their meals, and it wasn't hard to make out her flushed face. He made sure she was filled to her satisfaction after she had cried for the second time in his arms. He spoke to Zayn after putting her to sleep. He assured her husband that she was handling everything quite well, despite the breakdowns. He hid nothing from Zayn. Once again, he thanked Zayn for the security prompts at his sister's apartment before ending the call.
*~*
Zayn stared blankly at the takeout pack that sat on the huge desk in front
of him. He was seated in his home study, behind the desk swiveling his chair to and fro, out of boredom.
The takeout pack was from the Maina's restaurant.
" You should start eating now." Eskander prompted him. " The last thing I want is you fainting due to hunger. If you do, I'll kill you."
This time, Eskander was in his line of sight. His face held no mirth. Zayn's chuckle graduated into a short laugh. Eskander stared at him in disbelief.
" You are threatening to murder the future Sultan," Zayn spoke flatly.
" It doesn't count as murder when you are already on a hunger strike. I'd call it a favour, providing it's going to save you from your mother's wrath."
Zayn laughed again. Eskander was blatantly right." Eskander, you never cease to amaze me." He remarked.
Eskander took a moment to scrutinize his friend, wondering how he was holding up with everything that was happening. He wouldn't have made it that far. He spoke again.
" Fareed is with her, and he said she's doing better. Quit the stalling now and solve the issue. I don't like to see you two suffer like this." Honest dripped from his words.
Zayn nodded. " But she needs more time__ her words. I don't blame her though. I said many bitter things to her, and I regret it. I'll give her all the time she needs. Join me." Zayn gestured to the takeout pack that was now open__ Jollof-rice and grilled chicken. He didn't forget Saratu's signature tsobo.
Eskander sat across Zayn with the huge desk in his study separating them. They dug in right after. The study wasn't the right place to eat, but__ bad habits die hard.
" For a while, I've been thinking that all of this is a conspiracy against Mariya by something close to us. I mean, you two made a lot of efforts to keep her pregnancy from outsiders." Eskander briefed. " If she didn't do it herself, then it must be someone close to us. Close enough to slip the used pills into her bag."
Zayn took a while to let everything his friend had said sink in. At first, he had overlooked that possibility. " Yes. I told my parents, and they found it quite logical. Wallahi, I want all of this to end so I can have my wife back."
"In shaa Allah."
" How are things between you and Saratu?" Zayn didn't need further elaboration with the wide grin that sat on his friend's face. " Lovestruck idiot."
" As if you weren't whipped from day one."
They laughed.
" Try calling her once again to apologize and see if you two can meet without causing any ruckus," Eskander spoke when they sobered up. "I'll let Sara deal with you if you misbehave again. You know how she does it."
Zayn acknowledged the advice with a nod, whereas deep within his heart, a serious hurricane had been unleashed. He masked it with a small smile. Eskander clicked his tongue at his act, telling him there was no need for a mask. Zayn dropped it immediately, giving in to his emotions.
Mariya sat between her brother's legs on the rug in her living room as he sat on a sofa. The MacBook was propped up on a coffee table in front of them, projecting Fareeda's flushed face.
They were talking via video call, and the woman wouldn't stop crying.
" So have you called to talk to him?" Fareeda asked, dabbing her face with a tissue.
Mariya only shook her head. The last time she did, she had gotten her heart broken miserably. " I'll call him tomorrow." She stared out at the morning sun that was flooding its rays into the room.
" Good. I talked to Abba and he sounded remorseful." Fareeda spoke.
" Everything is going to be alright."
" In Shaa Allah," Fareed added.
He watched his twin set her tissue aside. Within a fleet of a second, her expression turned mischievous, and he didn't need a scholar to tell him what she was thinking about. He looked his eyes at her.
" Let's talk about how our dear brother is smitten by Yasmeen." Long gone was the grim atmosphere. A minute ago, he was consoling these women, now they are all against him.
" The guy is whipped!" She added.
" Shut your blabbering beaks, woman." He retorted.
" Have you seen the way he looks at her?" His twin was heedless.
" And the way he keeps up to date with her post on Instagram?" Mariya feigned surprise, letting out a fake big gasp. " Blasphemy!" She exclaimed in a posh British accent. " Enlighten me."
" If you open your mouth-" Fareed warned.
" Shut up." Mariya hit his thigh.
" Thank you," Fareeda uttered while he winced in pain. She wished was had been the one to do that. " Let us talk, jare. As if you didn't tease us with our husbands. Just ask her out before someone else does. You know Eskander once thought that Mama was planning to arrange your marriage with Saratu."
" Dan Allah," he pleaded, and the two women laughed. He spoke again when they sobered up. " I don't think I stand a chance with her, considering what's happening with Mariya and Zayn. She hardly ever looks at my face. I'm good without her." The last part was a blatant lie.
Mariya felt a wave of guilt wash over her. The number of relationships this problem of hers has destroyed. Way too bad to ponder over.
" Are we good?" Fareed asked, breaking the silence that had dawned upon the space.
" Yeah." The sisters replied simultaneously.
They picked up on another jovial topic. All along, Fareed's mind still lingered on the conversation about Yasmeen. He needed to get her out of his head.
*~*
" Olorun mi! " Ayoola exclaimed in sheer horror, her widened eyes trained on the man who seemed unfazed by the consequences of his
inhumane actions. Her supposed boyfriend. Well, not anymore. "Ei, Hassan."
She paced to and fro in his bedroom, both hands on her head, framing the picture of a typically disturbed person.
" C'mon, Yola. Chill." He brushed off her shock with a subtle wave of his hand. " This is nothing serious." He ended up telling her what he did with Mariya and Zayn's unborn child. He thought she would be content since she didn't like Mariya and Zayn as a couple. However, her reaction proved otherwise. She should be surprised, really.
She came to a stop right in front of him, and he could feel her intent gaze on him as she towered over his figure that was ignorantly slumped on a sofa. He was heedless of his actions.
"Bìlísì ni o!" Arguing in her native language when angry was a default setting. She lunged her clutch at him out of frustration. Thankful for his fast reflexes, he caught it midair before it could hit his chest. " What have you done? You killed an innocent child. That child was entirely oblivious to this web of deception you are entangled in. You know I don't like Mariya, but not to such an extent that I would wish her bad. Even, she was never the problem, to begin with. You were the problem, and will always be. What do you take me for? A fool?"
Hassan groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. " I've had enough of you, woman. Quit the-" He never got to finish his sentence.
" Shut the hell up!" She cut him off, and he knew better than to retort. He would just let her rant angrily as she does. Later, he would send her a bouquet of roses with a note__ mostly templates. That was the game changer. The number of times he has done that.
" Hassan, you are toxic." She picked up again. " I loved you so much to tolerate your infidelity. And you always use it again me. Without my knowledge, you were about to get married to Mariya. As I said, she was never the problem. I admit." Her voice cracked, a thin film of tears visible in her eyes. " I forgave you every single time you cheated on me. Now, you are with that Lebanese chick. What do I lack? Hassan, I'm done being a fool. I'm done keeping up with your shit. Fuck you, man whore. I hate you to the depths of hell. We are ending this now. We are breaking up."
Hassan appeared unfazed. For all that she had said, his response was infuriating.
" Okay," he simply muttered, shrugging his shoulders. Seven years of a relationship meant nothing to him. Besides, they were nothing to him by a toxic duo.
" Now, leave my house." He pointed to the door, urging her to be out of his premises.
No roses for Ayoola.
She let out a vague gasp, staring back at him in disbelief.
" Leave!" He prompted harshly when she didn't move an inch from her spot.
He watched as disbelief tinted into anger. She snatched her clutch from his hold and stormed out of his bedroom. He wore a foolish grin as he watch her voluminous backside shake rhythmically to her strides. That wasn't the end of it. She would come back running to him, to apologize for all she has said. He was well aware of that.
Or so he thought.
*~*
She wasn't prepared enough for this. She wished she could slam the door in their faces, but that would be blatantly rude. Saratu, Nazeera, Sayida, and Yasmeen stared back at her, as she stood frozen in the door frame. Fareed had asked her not to open the doors for anyone. However, the women standing in front of her were nothing but close acquaintances. Mariya wondered if they believed the accusations thrown at her.
" Hi." She waved awkwardly. The visit was never anticipated.
" Hi." Saratu echoed sarcastically at her, wanting her to realize how ridiculous she sounded. " Won't you invite us in?" She questioned.
" Sorry for keeping you standing." Mariya apologized. " Do come in." She stepped aside to pave the way for their entry.
Sayida was the last person to enter and she closed the door behind her. She held a lunchbox in hand. She placed it on a coffee table and settled beside Yasmeen and Nazeera on a loveseat Mariya once occupied.
Saratu faced Mariya as they stood.
" Sannu da zuwa." Mariya greeted.
" Dan Allah," Saratu waved it off. "When did any formalities exist between us?" Instead, she enveloped her friend in a warm hug. She hugged her tightly.
Then again Mariya reminded herself that Saratu Maina, her friend, would never turn her back on her.
" Next time if you disappear like this, I'll hunt you down. If I catch you then, only God will be able to intervene." Saratu warned as they broke the hug. She shot Mariya a teary smile." God, we missed you."
" I missed you too."
They settled down with the rest of the ladies.
" How have you been?" Nazeera asked, her voice laced with concern.
" You gave us all a big scare, Mariya." Sayida was just as concerned.
" I won't lie, things have been hectic. I'm sorry for leaving-" she paused to compose herself. She could feel tears stinging her eyes already.
" Sorry for what?" Saratu wasn't taking it. " We don't believe what people are saying about. Even Zayn doesn't. He told me that."
That was a relief. It kindled her hope. A small smile made its way onto her face.
" Have you two spoken?" Yasmeen who has been quiet all along spoke.
" No," Mariya answered.
Yasmeen fished her phone out of her bag and dialed Zayn's number.
Was she ready to talk to him?
" Yasmeen-" she tried to protest, but none of them were having it.
She could hear an occasional faint beep from the phone. It was ringing at his end.
She can't do this.
" I don't like seeing you two like this." Yasmeen spoke. " Mariya, this is best for both of you."
" Yasmeen,"
Her heart skipped a beat when she heard his voice. He sounded frustrated.
God.
Yasmeen handed the phone to her, and she took it with trembling hands.
She placed it at her ear.
"Qalb, it's me."
For a while, he didn't utter a word. Maybe as a result of shock. Maybe, he was gathering another paragraph of heartbreaking words to throw at her for leaving him.
Tears stung her eyes once again. She fanned her face with one hand while holding the phone in the other.
Saratu's hand was at her back, soothing it reassuringly. Yasmeen held her hand in hers.
They all offered their support in any way possible.
The sniffle that came from Zayn's end assured her that the call was still ongoing.
" Hayati," his voice was soothing. And calm__ just like he used to address her. It wasn't like the gruff one he had addressed Yasmeen with.
She didn't hold back her tears. Not that she could.
" I miss you." She heard him sniffle again. " I-"
She cut the call short. Mariya pressed a button to end the call.
She didn't have the strength to go on.
One sob. Then another. She didn't stop the urge to cry.
Don't come and beat me.
Hey, guysssssss.
Yet again, another chapter.
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Latifahefua made this cover for me.
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