I need to add a big thank you to my friend Robyn who edited the story on my behalf. Everybody who reads my stories knows how badly I need the editorial assistance. So, thanks Robyn, for helping her hours of hard work and help are not unapreciated.
Brianna and I settled into our relationship, yes, I had to admit, whatever we had before, we were now living together, and it was a relationship.
Accepting that was the first step for me, much like an addict or alcoholic, the first step was realisation.
I was... am a lesbian, my head spun trying to accept it, thinking it didn't work. I walked down by the creek just so I could vocalise it. It still sounded weird. 'I'm in love with Brianna.' That sounded fine but when I said, 'I'm a lesbian, it made me shiver and sounded wrong, alien. I repeated it over and over like some dark medieval chant, a priestess at some secular order.
When I walked back inside Brianna was waiting with muffins and coffee. She guided me out onto the little veranda to catch the morning sun. As we sat, she laughed aloud, "What the hell was all that about?"
I tried to explain how I was feeling. She snorted harshly, "Jesus Charlotte, why are you so determined to label everything?"
She put down her cup and picked up my hand, "Darling, I love you, I love the feel of you in my arms, the taste, the feel of your body. Stop trying to justify everything, it is what it is."
"It's OK for you, but all my friends, my family, everybody is going to hate me. I cheated on my husband, walked away from my daughter. They are all going to say disgusting things about me."
I burst into tears unable to hold back the tears. Brianna quickly pulled me into a hug, her juicy sexy lips kissing away the tear drops from my flushed cheeks, "Darling, you're wrong, your real friends and your family will understand. You need to stop hiding from this, you need to tackle it head on."
"What... how can I face my parents; you don't know them."
Brianna snapped back derisively, "Oh poo, poo to you. Do you think you are the only person in the world who had to come out to their parents? Get over yourself, go and talk to them, the longer you leave it the harder it will become."
Her brutal takedown shocked me, and she knew it, "Sorry darling, but it's true, if you are scared, I will go with you."
My shock turned to affection and we cuddled, as always with us the cuddles turned to kisses and then suddenly the day was gone. We made love with such passion I had to do laundry again. The bed was destroyed.
Life settled a little and I immersed myself in editing for Brianna. She was so impressed that she sent manuscripts of my work to her publishers and I received more work. I went from editing just Brianna's work to editing for half a dozen writers. Some very good and other's new to the literary world.
I was swamped, but it opened up a new world to me. I talked to writers as we worked through their work and my suggestions. We became friends and it was a world I previously admired from outside, now I was surrounded by these wonderful creative people. It was an amazing life changing experience.
The phone conversations were so long, Brianna chased me outside because I was such a distraction. I worked long hours, I tried to make sure I did all the housework because Brianna was paying for everything and that weighed heavily on my conscience. I didn't want to be a millstone.
My relationship with Debbie changed as well. She seemed to have grown overnight. We talked every day on the phone. We discussed her schoolwork and of course her home life. John it seemed was mellowing, he no longer harangued Debbie about me, no longer filled her ears with evil hateful words.
He may not have accepted it, but at least realised he was destroying his relationship with Debbie, so tempered his words.
Brianna after several days of beseeching and pressuring made me go and visit my parents. She was right, and I knew it. I did need to speak to them, and it really needed to be face to face.
I refused her offer of going with me for support, I knew that wouldn't help. I knocked on the front door of my parents' house. When it opened and mum saw me, I saw her face drop, "What do you want Charlotte?" She snapped.
"Mum, I just want to talk, please, I need to explain things from my perspective."
She swung the door fully open and waved me in, "Hurry up then."
She almost bundled me in through the door in her haste to get it closed before anybody saw me. Once inside dad wandered out and he replicated mum's expression, he seemed sad, "Hello Charlotte, to what do we owe the pleasure?"
"Dad, I just want to clear the air, try and get rid of any misconceptions."
"Huh!" mum sneered, there are no misunderstandings here, you abandoned your daughter and your husband to run off with some disgusting floozy."
Waving her hand angrily she snapped, "You should be ashamed of yourself, you're nothing but a tramp, and a woman no less. Good heavens have you no morals at all?"
I came expecting these words, her reaction. It didn't make it any easier, my pre-prepared speech dried up in my mouth unspoken. Like a chastised girl I muttered, "Mother, you're right. I am embarrassed about what happened, but I did not abandon my family. John kicked me out."
"What did you expect, carrying on the way you did. He had every right."
I nodded sullenly, "Perhaps you're right, maybe I deserved it, but I didn't act maliciously, I didn't do it to hurt anyone. Brianna and I fell in love, I couldn't hide from it."
"Fell in love!" She ranted, "Good lord Charlotte, you're not some silly teenager, you're a grown woman, with a family."
With added insult she snapped, "Do you even understand what love is, that man gave you everything, he adored you. He was so hurt by all this, we feared for his sanity, we prayed he wouldn't do something silly."
Dad grabbed mum and cuddled her for support as she broke down. He gazed at me with confusion, but there was an underlying warmth. He and I had always had a closer relationship than me and mum, "Charlotte honey, can you at least tell us why?" He asked.
Sucking in deeply I sighed, "Dad, I'm trying. I can't explain it fully, all I can say is we love each other."
He nodded as he held mum tighter, "But John... what about him, why couldn't you try to sort things out? Marriage counselling."
"Because he wouldn't let me dad, he was angry, yes, I understand he had every right, but he wouldn't talk about it. He jumped in his car and disappeared for days. I didn't plan on leaving him."
"So you were just going to carry on some tawdry affair with the slut, were you?" Mum growled caustically.
"I don't know mum; I'm trying to explain. It all happened so quickly. I want to try and fix things, that's why I'm here."
Mum interrupted, "You want our forgiveness, do you?"
I nodded my head slowly, trying to smile before whispering, "Yes call it forgiveness if you want, I see it more as understanding. Brianna and I are a couple, we live together, and I want, no need you to accept that."
"What about John?" Mum asked, what are we supposed to do about him?"
"Love him, I am trying to, if he will let me. I want us to remain friends, for Debbie's sake if nothing else."
"What about Debbie, don't you care about her? The whole schools talking about it. Have you no shame?"
"Mother!" I snapped, "Debbie and I talk every day, she came out and stayed with us. I haven't abandoned her as you suggested. She is still very much my daughter and I love her very much."
Dad unwound one of his arms and opened it up to welcome me into their huddle, like one of our old family meeting hugs.
As I nestled underneath his arm, I felt mum shaking violently, "No, it's not going to be that easy Charlotte. I am angry, disgusted and astounded at your poor behaviour. I can't accept it, not like this."
Dad cradled me in both arms, "Sorry pumpkin, but this might take some time."
With a gentle kiss I whispered, "I understand." I said my goodbyes and walked out to the car. As I was about to climb in mum came rushing out and wrapped me in her arms, her face wet with tears, "I'm sorry honey, I love you."
I burst into tears clinging on for dear life, our arms wrapped so tight it hurt, "I'm sorry to mum, I didn't mean to hurt anyone."
She nodded, unwrapped her arm and using a delicate finger wiped away my tears, "It will work out, we will try to understand, I do love you, and I don't want to lose you."
We kissed before I reversed out the driveway. Dad waving happily from the doorway. I don't know what he said to mum, but I felt relief, liberation even a little lightheaded as I drove away.
I met Debbie for lunch, and we chatted about how things were going at home. She explained, her father was still angry, but had stopped yelling and screaming, he had cut back on his drinking and at least he was going to work again.
We parted with a kiss. She seemed so much brighter; it appeared a shift in our relationship had occurred. We now talked more like friends than mother daughter, and I wasn't sure that I liked it.
Arriving back at the cottage I found Brianna deep into her writing, so deep she didn't hear me walk in. I snuck up behind her and leaned in over her shoulder, my moist tongue sliding down the sensuous curve of her neck. She jumped, startled cursing loudly, "Jesus Charlotte, I nearly had kittens."
I let my tongue slither across her tingling skin, little goose bumps rubbing on my tongue. I loved the fresh taste, her scent. God, she had the smoothest skin, it felt like porcelain.
She leaned her head back and our lips met in a scintillating kiss. The first kiss, I loved it, the velvety smooth texture, moist, open, her tongue slinky sexy, inviting, her soft moans escaped into my mouth, "Charlotte."
My hands slid down cupping her gorgeous orbs, her nipples already rubbery and hard under my marauding palms. I squeezed and pinched, rubbing my thumbs across her growing desire.
Our mouths locked together as her quivering flesh tingled in my hands, little goosebumps grew under my roaming hands.
She turned in her chair and I moved in between her opening legs. Her arms curled up around my neck pulling me down into another scintillating kiss. Her gorgeous boobies filled my hands as I used them for support. As I leant over her, she reached up and her hands found my titties as they hung down filling her hands. She giggled, "Lick my pussy slave."
Giggling at her silly voice I knelt between her legs, "Yes M'lady. Your wish is my command."
Her hands moved up and knotted in my hair as she ground my face into her nylon covered pussy, "Well hurry up slave, I haven't got all day."
Her panties stretched tight as my face crushed the fabric against her clammy skin. Her swollen fat lips pushing out from the edges of her panties. I nibbled and gnawed like a mouse feeding. She raised her hips and ground her kitty against my face.
Slipping my hands under her bum, I grabbed a handful of her panties and yanked them hard, pulling them down her gorgeous sexy legs.
She squealed, "Oh you naughty girl, you will pay if you ripped them."
"Yes M'Lady." I simpered in mock fright. As I worked the panties down her trembling legs my face eased back up between her legs, her pungent arousal filling my nose as it was crushed between her swollen lips. Using me like a sex toy she rubbed my face up and down the length of her slit as the dewy secretions lubricated.
"That's a good girl, lick my pussy, make me cum, I want to cum all over that sweet little face."
Her legs fell open wider and my tongue wormed it's way into her pulsating squishy hole. "Oh, fuck yes, that's it babe, lick it, suck me."
I wasn't going to be rushed, I felt, smelt and tasted her desire, she was turned on and wanted release, but I was going to make her wait. In this game I was going to be boss.
Sliding my tongue out of her gooey pit I kissed my way around her thighs, her tummy. Like a slithering snail my mouth left little saliva trails. My fingers caressing her lips ever so gently, like gossamer rain.
"God, don't be a bitch." She groaned. "I will fucking get you later."
I giggled into her gasping pussy, "Maybe, but right now, if you don't be nice, I might just walk away."
Her evil laugh echoed as she snorted, "Shut up and lick bitch."
Her fingers gripped my hair so tight it hurt and she pulled me back into her gaping kitty. My fingers worked their way into her crevice, then deeper into the very depths of her pulsating hole.
"Oh, fuck yes, that's more like it, oh god you have the sweetest tongue."
With my hair at breaking point, it felt like she was going to tear it out by the follicles.
My mouth closed over her fat engorged clit, Sucking and vibrating my tongue I licked it, I sucked it as more and more of my fingers plunged up into her sloppy hole.
Her hips rotated and jerked awkwardly on the chair as I fucked her frantically with my fingers covered with sticky juices. She trembled, shuddering as my hand a frantic blur pumped in and out of her kitty. My fingers coated in her desire, my ears full of the squishy shelchy sounds of a very wet pussy.
The only thing stopping my hand from disappearing up inside her was my thumb which jammed against the inner walls of her vulva.
Slowing down my pace, I closed my thumb tightly against my palm forming a knife like blade.
"What the fuck are you doing, god don't stop." She begged.
I had no intention of stopping but this time as my hand slid in it went further. The next time a little further, a little deeper. My hand saturated with her goo, my face coated in her sticky glistening juice.
My mouth sucked harder than an out of control vacuum, her clit vibrating against my lapping tongue as my hand plunged faster and faster into her gasping pussy. Now I was past the thumb, my hand disappearing into her as she writhed and thrashed around crazily, her hands tugging frantically on my hair as she tried to make me go faster.
Glancing down I could see almost my whole hand was invisible sucked into her slobbering kitty.
"Oh fuuuuuuuuuccccckkkk!" She cried out. Her body tense, her muscles spasming wildly. "Fuck I am cumming." She bellowed.
Afterwards we lay curled together on the floor. Our mouths glued together as she sighed loudly, "Damn I love you."
Smiling back at her gorgeous face I whispered, "I love you to."
Living with Brianna was amazing, and I came to realise I never loved john, not like this, yes, I loved him, but it was warm rather than burning hot. I had feelings for him, but our love was nothing like the inferno of living with Brianna. John and I met when we were young, and I was inexperienced. I liked John, I liked him a lot, but I realise now, it wasn't love.
In the years of our marriage we never fought, not one single argument. I bragged about it with my friends; it was our thing; I was proud of it.
But now living with Brianna, we fought, god our arguments and fights were like the end of the world. That's the thing, to love you have to hate. I could never hate John; he was too nice.
Brianna and I when we were on, the fiery inferno that was our lovemaking was also reflected in our life. There was no question that I loved her.
Things began to fall into place with us, we found our way. The sex if anything got better as we became acquainted with each other's likes and dislikes. That was mostly down to me, accepting that this was who I was, and rather than being embarrassed by it, accepted it.
Life also settled in general terms. Debbie adjusted to the reality of how things were. She started coming out to stay with us on weekends and her and Brianna managed to forge a relationship. It was still a little touchy, but they slowly became used to each other.
It was on one of her weekend visits that she broke the news, John had started seeing a woman, and she stayed over at the house occasionally. Debbie confided that on those nights she went to stay with Lyndsay. When I gave an enquiring look, she laughed before admitting, "Yeah mum we kissed, but it was too weird, I think even Lyndsay was shocked." When I shook my head she whispered, "Sorry mum but I like boys."
Brianna snorted, "Traitor!" But then giggled, "We will forgive you your sins."
I couldn't believe how full my life had become, I was now living a life I had only ever dreamed of. Books, reading, I loved them, ever since I was a child I dreamed of writing. I never thought I was good enough, which is why I ended up becoming a teacher. Now here I was, editing, writing and getting paid for it, OMG it was a dream come true. Coupled with long passionate nights of pure bliss, the sexiest woman I had ever met in my arms every night, kissing, snuggling tasting, her succulent gorgeous body sliding over mine, oh god it was heaven.
All those years faking orgasms to make my husband happy, never knowing what real pleasure was. Don't get me wrong I loved John, I worked hard at our marriage, never complaining, never nagging when he wanted to spend the entire weekend watching football, never griping when he went off for a night with the 'Boys'
I loved him, I focused on making our house a home and I went back to work to bring in extra money when we needed it. Never once did I complain racing around crazily dropping off and picking up Debbie, doing the shopping as well as looking after the house. I always thought, this was it, this was my role in life, John was a good provider, and I did love him, but being with Brianna opened my eyes to a new world, passion, excitement, sharing emotions, talking, fighting, it was incredible.
Now I knew what love was all about... now I understood.
I still yearned to talk to John, to try and sort things out so we could be friends at least, Debbie deserved that. There would be times when we would all have to be in one room together and I so wanted us to be able to do that without acrimony.
Unfortunately, it seemed my wish would never come true.
The relationship between Debbie and Brianna grew with every passing weekend visit. They were bonding in a weirdly best friends forever sort of way. Brianna became her confidante. One night while we lay in bed Brianna said, "Darling, aren't you getting sick of chauffeuring Debbie back and forth to town?"
I sighed, not wanting to seem like a bad parent, "Yes, but what's the alternative? Are you getting sick of having her around?"
She laughed softly, "No, far from it, what I was going to say was, she needs a car of her own."
I didn't disagree, "I suppose she could have my old car; it's just sitting in your garage gathering dust."
"Charlotte, I was thinking more that we could buy her a car, her own car."
Stunned by her statement I muttered, "If John ever agrees to sell the house, I could do that, but at the moment, money is tight for me."
She nestled up beside me, her firm breasts rubbing against my arm, "I want to buy it for her, if money is the problem, I will pay and you can give me money later, I really don't care."
"Brianna, that's too generous, she hasn't even got a license yet."
"We can teach her, we can take turns, you and me, it'll be fun."
Chuckling I muttered, "You haven't seen her drive, you might change your mind once you witness it first-hand."
"I'm not trying to take over darling, I just want her to have freedom, she needs to be able to get around without us, she doesn't need her mother driving her around."
"But the money Bri... it's too much, I don't expect you to pay for my daughter."
"That hurts a little Charlotte, I want to be part of her life to, I am trying to push my way in, I love you, we are partners and Debbie is part of that, I want to help."
"But it's so much money, what's wrong with my old car, it got me around."
"That car was yours, it's part of your old life, I want her to have something from us, something new."
She rolled me on my back and clambered up on top of me, her beautiful firm boobies pressed on mine, her leg pushing in between mine, wedging in tightly, her moist clammy pussy rubbing sensuously on my thigh.
Her mouth hovered just over mine, her breath condensing on my face, her eyes unflinching as she peered down into mine, our mouth's centimetres apart.
She rested her arms on top of mine, trapping mine against my body, her tongue trailing across my flesh, tickling.
Months, weeks seemed to pass, in reality only seconds before her mouth closed over mine. Moist, juicy, open as the soft velvety skin slid over my open inviting mouth. Her lips warm, soft, gentle.
It was slow, soothing torture as her lips grazed across mine. Her knee pressed up pushing my legs apart until her thigh nudged my kitty.
I let out a long soft sigh of pleasure as her flesh rubbed against my kitty, I felt it convulse, contract squeezing her leg as she rubbed it back and forth. Her own kitty attached like a hot wet suction cup to my leg as she rocked back and forth, her leg fucking me, rubbing me, opening me like a fresh flower.
I was hers and she knew it. Our lips touched properly, and her tongue delved seductively into my open inviting mouth. A sexual predator slithering into my lips like a giant anaconda.
Our tongues caressed, slowly at first, then more powerfully as she took control, her tongue, probing, darting, slithering, fucking my mouth like a wild stallion.
Her hand slid down our bodies and clamped onto my muff, jammed hard by her leg she grabbed a handful of pussy, her fingers sliding into my gooey sticky depths, her thumb massaging and rubbing my little worm, gently, then roughly, her fingers probing me as I clutched on, my kitty trying vainly to keep her fingers in me.
Faster, harder we went her pussy crushing, squirming opening wide as she humped my leg. The sighs grew to moans, our voices lost in the panting, her hot breath everywhere, her lips, kissing, sucking biting as she fucked me into oblivion.
The orgasm was immense, we collapsed together, panting, and gasping like wild animals. Breathless she whimpered, "So what colour should we buy?"
I laughed loudly, knowing she had got her way again, but now I didn't care, "A red one."
The next day she dragged me into town and we trapsed around car yard after car yard until she found what she was looking for. A little red VW Beetle. It wasn't brand new, but it had done a very KM's and was like brand new, it still had a warranty.
She refused to let me put any money into the purchase.
I drove it out to the cottage, and we parked it in the shed. On the drive home Brianna stopped, I didn't see it, but she brought metres of bright crepe paper and we wrapped the car in a bow.
Debbie didn't come out until the weekend and It gave me time to think, it was such a huge investment on Brianna's part, to splash out that much money. Yes, I know it's different for people with money but for me, it was five times what I paid for my little car. It felt so excessive.
In trying to talk to Brianna it caused a huge fight and broke down into a screaming match. She accused me of trying to keep her out of my daughter's life. I accused her of trying to buy her love. It was horrid, but as always it exploded instantaneously and was gone before we slipped into bed. She apologised, I said sorry and we stole into each other's arms begging forgiveness. Her fingers diddling my little clit. I repaid her by washing her slit with my tongue until my face was covered in her hot sticky goo.
I awoke in the morning to the wonderous sensations of her tongue sliding up and down my slit, her tongue dallying in places it had no right to be. My day started with a bang, my eyes and face scrunched up, my fingers clawing tangled in Brianna's hair as she gave me the perfect start to the day.
It was busy as overnight I received several emails, requests for my services as editor. It was getting to the stage where I couldn't keep up. At the rate I was going I would have to start being selective rather than accepting all and sundry. Still when I checked my bank balance it certainly softened the blow.
My life seemed so radically different. Now buried in the literary world where I had always dreamed of being. Working side by side with an author I had admired for years, editing her work, helping her write, and when she called me her sexy muse my head swelled.
Gone forever was my old persona, the needy little housewife, too timid to complain or, accept my needs were as important as my husbands or daughter. Now the real me seeped slowly out into the daylight and I felt vibrant and alive. My opinions valued; my desires considered.
It's not that John refused or denied me, it was more my own fault, I never questioned him, he had always been the boss in our house, me I was nothing more than his wife. At least that's the way I felt. Perhaps if I had been brave enough to talk to him things may have gone differently for us, or maybe this was just meant to be.
Brianna didn't usually come with me to pick up Debbie but this time she wasn't going to be denied. Debbie had a pretty hard week and was grumpy and complaining as we headed back to the cottage, Brianna overflowed excitement, barely able to contain her joy. Debbie gave me a funny glare, "What's up with her? Why so happy?"
I shrugged, "I don't know pumpkin, something in the water? Enjoy it while she's like this."
Brianna who was sitting in the back seat reached over my shoulders, turned my head and planted a big sloppy wet kiss on my unexpecting lips. The car swerved as I was taken by surprise, Debbie screamed and Brianna let me go laughing her head off as I managed to get the car under control, as other car horns tooted wildly.
We finally got out to the cottage and Debbie grabbed her bags heading for the house. "Debbie." Brianna called, "We have something to show you in the garage."
She dropped her bags with a deep sigh of resignation, "Fine, what is it? Not gym equipment or something stupid I hope!" She huffed loudly.
Brianna grabbed my hand as we walked over to the shed doors. I sighed, "You better do the honours."
She grabbed me, turned me and kissed me passionately. Debbie cried, "Oh yuck, can't this wait?"
Brianna giggled crazily muttering, "We will do it together, this is from both of us." Holding my hand in hers we swung open the door and Debbie with a confused expression leaned past us to peer into the garage.
After seeing the car, she glared back and forth between us, still confused, "Is it yours mum?"
Brianna couldn't hold back any longer, "No silly it's yours. We brought it for you because we decided you needed some freedom."
The look on her face was priceless, "Oh my god!" She screeched as she ran around the car running her hands over the shiny paint. Then jumping up and down clapping like a trained seal, "Oh my god, oh my god...You're not playing a joke on me, are you?"
I smiled, overcome by her joy, "No Deb's, it's yours honey, but first we have to get your license and it is based on you getting good grades."
She ran back to us and threw her arms around us, screaming at the top of her lungs, "Can we go for a drive?"
Brianna handed her the keys and we all piled in. Debbie previously had lessons, both John and I had started giving her driving time before the big fall out, so she was capable, although I wouldn't call her a good driver. That night we drove around for over an hour and her elation meter didn't budge she was in heaven.
We got back home, and she was straight on the phone to all her friends, and of course her nan and then her father.
My phone rang only minutes later, and John started yelling the moment I answered. He was livid that I had done this without his consent or even spoke to him. I couldn't squeeze a word in edgeways, he was furious.
I moved the phone from my ear and turned my head as he ranted on and on. Brianna watched with a smirk. Debbie wandered in with a sad expression, "Sorry mum, I didn't think."
Putting my hand over the phone I replied, "It's alright love, I should have spoken to him. He has every right to be angry."
She kissed my cheek before moving over to jump into Brianna's lap and literally tried to hug her to death. I lifted the phone back to my ear as there had been a few seconds of silence, "John, you're right, I should have spoken to you first. It was a spur of the moment thing."
"God damn it Charlotte, it's not good enough to just keep shooting me down without warning."
"I wasn't shooting you down, it's just something I... we wanted to do."
"Yeah, well for your fucking information, I had already organised to buy her a car. What the hell am I going to do with that. Shit Charlotte, I'm her father, I wanted to buy her first car."
"Yes, of course, I understand that. I'm sorry John, I can't take it back."
There was a long drawn out silence before he growled, "We need to talk. Are you available over the weekend?"
"Yes, I'm sure Debbie is going to want to drive her car so we will probably come into town, is Saturday morning OK?"
I hung up and there was a group hug. It was amazing to watch Brianna, when she first met Debbie there was a brief moment of dislike from Brianna, seeing Deb as a catty young girl, which she probably was. Then after Debbie found out about Brianna and me there was a period of absolute hatred from Deb. She blamed Brianna for the disillusionment of John and my marriage. Now watching them together it was completely different, they were more like best friends. Brianna was like a mother hen.
This was another side of Brianna which had been lying dormant beneath the surface. She had unwittingly adopted Deb as her own.
Saturday morning, we had breakfast and Debbie went out to polish her new car. Brianna and I sat while she went over my latest edits on her story. She seemed nervous, "Charlotte, I could come with you today, if you want. John might go off the deep end again."
After giving her a big thank you kiss, I muttered, "No, as much as I would love to have you there holding my hand, it might actually make him worse."
Debbie drove us into town and, she was a different person, bright, chatty, gone was the moody teenager struggling with the world. Now she seemed more ready to take on whatever challenges life had.
We pulled up at the old house and I prepared myself for the fight to come. I waited by the car as Debbie rushed inside. I watched with interest and noted a blonde head poking around the corner of the kitchen window. It was obviously his girlfriend.
I steeled myself as John followed Debbie out, she had his hand clasped firmly in hers as she cried out, "Well what do you think? Isn't it gorgeous?"
He grimaced as he glanced over at me, "Hi Charlotte, thanks for coming in."
I replied with a curt, "No problem John."
"Well!" Debbie yelled, "Isn't it wonderful?"
He walked around the car, he kicked the wheels, checked doors and things before nodding his approval, "It's very nice Deb, very nice. It must have cost a lot of money though." He glared at me as his words spilled out.
I shrugged rasping, "Not as much as you might think."
He asked about warranty and maintenance. When I said I was covering it all until she found a job, it seemed to placate him.
Just then a woman, obviously his girlfriend came wandering down nervously. She gave me an apprehensive nod, "John I thought Debbie and I could go for a walk, leave you two here to talk."
He sighed deeply, "Yeah that'd be great thanks Carol."
He almost defiantly added, "Charlotte, this is Carol."
I nodded giving her an appraising glare from behind my sunglasses. She was pretty enough, her ankles were a bit chubby, as was her body, curvy, voluptuous, her boobs were huge. Her eyes a deep green, her lips thin, but highlighted by the pink lipstick. All in all, she was attractive without being startling. Yes, I was being picky, maybe jealous, who knows but her cold behaviour towards me didn't help. Debbie gave me a hug before walking off nervously with her.
John said, "Shall we go inside?"
I followed him in, noticing that the curtains on the neighbour's house flapping as they all took a look. I'm sure I was the centre of all the neighbourhood gossip at the moment. I guess they were expecting blood. The ex, returning home to find the girlfriend moved in.
As we got inside John mumbled, "Tea... Coffee?"
"No thanks John, but thanks for the offer. I'm glad you asked me in, I have wanted to talk, to sort things out."
He nodded, directing me to the lounge. As we sat, he cleared his throat and mumbled raspily, "I want to talk about the future. We can't change the past, I want Debbie to have a normal life, she is going to need us over the next few years, and I don't want acrimony."
It was like he had closed the door on our relationship, perhaps that's the only way he could deal with it. I was stuck, I wanted to apologise, seek forgiveness, but now if I dragged it back up, he might go nuts again. "I want the same John, I'm sorry if I overstepped the limits, but we were sick of driving in to pick her up all the time, we figured it was time to give her some freedom."
He chewed pensively on his tongue, I'm sure to stifle his desire to scream at me. "Charlotte, I wasn't upset you brought the car for her, I just want to be included in the decisions."
"Yes, you're right, I'm sorry. I did the wrong thing and I apologise."
He leaned back and let out a deep sigh, "How the hell did you afford that, Christ it must have cost a bomb."
This was the tricky part, I didn't want to tell him that Brianna paid for it, but I didn't want to lie, "I have been working as an editor. I do work for the company that Brianna writes for and it pays very well."
I was pleased with myself; I didn't lie.
He rasped, "Shit they must pay well, oh well, if you can afford it then good on you."
As always in these conversations a deepening silence absorbed us. After what seemed forever, he spluttered, "I want to sell the house. Carol has suggested that I move in with her."
I was a little taken aback, their relationship must have moved fast. I suppose there were little jealous tugs on my heart. To be replaced so easily hurts. Still, I could hardly complain. I was in a way getting a dose of my own medicine.
"What do you want to do with the furniture?" I asked.
"Sell it all. Sorry Charlotte but living here isn't helping me, it's full of bad memories, if you and the slut move back in next door it is going to make things impossible."
I cringed at his nasty words and I could see that gave him a satisfied smirk. Sucking in a big breath and swallowing his insult I snapped, "Fine, then let's sell, there are still some things here I would like to take."
He nodded, "I will put it on the market immediately. I think if we keep the price reasonable it should sell quickly."
"What about the money?" I whispered nervously, hoping that wouldn't set him off.
I was wrong, he exploded, venting wildly, "Is that all you fucking care about? Fuck me Charlotte, you never asked about how I was feeling, all you care about is my fucking money."
Anger building quickly, I snarled back, "It's not yours it's ours. I did my bit here John, I worked as well."
"Fuck you can be a bitch Charlotte, have you always been that way, or did you learn that from the slut?"
"Calling my lover names only makes you look more like the insecure shit you really are. Brianna, yes she has a name has taught me one thing and that is to stand up for myself."
I could see me defending her and using her name hurt him, it was like watching him get punched. "I'm sorry for the way things worked out between us John. I always loved you and treated you well. I was hoping that we could part as friends."
His face was ashen, his features drawn and tight. "Fuck you Charlotte, just fuck you... Treat me well, what a load of shit, you fucking cheated, you had an affair!" He screamed; the polite exchanges replaced with vitriolic ranting.
"You fucking carried on right under my fucking nose, everybody's laughing at me!" He barked, "I'm a fucking laughingstock."
"I said I'm sorry, I can't do more than that, you have a new girlfriend, perhaps you should focus on moving forward."
He moved closer, his face inches from mine, "Oh don't fucking worry bitch, I am. You're not getting a fucking penny from the sale of this place. I fucking worked my arse off to buy this."
Fuming quietly, I snapped, "Well, perhaps we should let solicitors do the talking. I worked, I put all my salary into our joint account. I am entitled to half of everything and you know it."
Our eyes locked together; the anger palpable. As scared as I was, I held his gaze. In the end he turned away. "Get out Charlotte, just get the fuck out before I do something I will regret. Go back to your girlfriend and bury your head up her slimy cunt."
Just at that moment Debbie walked in and she heard his angry rants, his flying spittle. "Mum are you all right?" She shrieked as she ran to me. We huddled together and she snapped at her father, "You promised to be nice dad."
He sighed, "I'm sorry honey, I tried but your mother is not making this easy."
She looked quizzically at me; her brow deeply furrowed. I stroked the hair from her eyes, "It's going to be alright pumpkin. I think it's best if I leave now."
I turned to John, "In future, if you have anything to say, I think you should channel it through your solicitor."
It wasn't what I hoped for from the meeting, but maybe it was unavoidable.
The drive back to the cottage was completed pretty much in silence, Debbie focused on driving her new car and me deep in thought.
Brianna greeted us at the door with big hugs and seeing how distressed I was, she shooed me out onto the veranda and made a cup of tea. Debbie went with her to help leaving me alone to brood. I snuggled up with a cushion, my legs tucked up under me. I couldn't hold back the tears; I tried to clear my head and get some balance but all I could think about was how angry John was.
Brianna came and sat with me, Debbie decided to give us space and organised for a couple of friends to pick her up and take her shopping.
"So how did it go?" She asked, wrapping me in her arms.
I tried, but no the flood of tears came back to haunt me as I relayed the events of earlier. She kissed me lightly, "Let it go darling, you don't need him, you are your own woman, strong, independent, you do not need him."
"He said he is going to sell the house and keep all the money."
She sniggered, "Then thank god for courts. He is an idiot. If he had been to a solicitor, they would have told him. Communal property is exactly that and there are laws to protect women from men like him."
"Brianna, I can't afford a solicitor."
"For heaven's sake Charlotte, don't be naïve, even if we didn't employ a lawyer the courts will appoint you one. He has no chance."
Unconvinced I fell into her arms and we hugged warmly. She held my face tightly between her hands and rained gentle kisses all over my face, "Darling, I have a very fine solicitor, he specialises in business not divorce but I'm sure he will give us sound advice and recommend somebody good."
"You weren't listening Brianna; I can't afford one." I groaned sullenly.
"Don't be ridiculous, I have told you many times, my money is your money."
"Brianna honey, I can't keep living off you. Debbie's car, the rent on this place. It's very generous, but it's not fair on you."
"If you won't accept my offer then I'm sure Gregory can recommend somebody decent who will represent you on a contingency basis.
Monday morning found us as Brianna suggested at the solicitor's office. Greg listened intently as Brianna explained the situation. HE immediately called in a colleague. Simon listened as Greg went over it. They both asked questions and took notes. Simon explained that quite simply John was dreaming if he thought he could get away with withholding any monies. I had to list all our assets, including investments. Greg asked about Superannuation. That was added to the list.
They agreed to act on my behalf. We agreed on a fee, they were convinced that John had not taken any legal advice otherwise he would know that he was trapped. Simon suggested, "I think once your husband sees the documentation, he will understand."
It was then I said, "I don't want to screw him over, I just want it to be fair."
He nodded, "Well let's see what happens when he receives our demands."
"I don't want his super." I squeaked."
Greg who was still listening interjected, "You are entitled to it."
Simon added, "Charlotte, if you are serious, we can use it as a bargaining tool. We can suggest if he plays fair then he can keep it."
That made sense. The drive home was quiet, deep in thought I again wondered how we ended up here, our marriage gone up in smoke, and all this acrimony, the arguing and fighting was horrible.
It took a couple of days for John to receive the official letter from the solicitors. I was expecting him to be angry but his reaction was explosive. My phone rang and when I checked the number, I realised it was John.
As I answered all I could hear was screaming. It was that loud it was painful. I held the phone away from my ear as Brianna watched on with interest. After several minutes I tried to say something but he just kept ranting like a wild man.
I waited, but Brianna walked over, grabbed my phone from my clasping fingers and disconnected the call.
Before I could complain it rang again, this time Brianna answered, again even although it wasn't on loudspeaker, I could hear his screaming. Brianna disconnected without even talking to him.
That scene replayed over and over until on the fifth ring when Brianna answered, "Hello John, let me explain this to you, so even you can understand. That rude obnoxious behaviour will not be tolerated. If you cannot be polite then don't call again. I will pass the phone to Charlotte, but I warn you, at the first sign of any bad language or raised voices, I will disconnect the call."
She handed me the phone, "Hello John." I mumbled, embarrassed.
He was still angry, I could sense him barely holding on, "What the hells with the solicitors letter Charlotte. Fuck do you hate me that much, Jesus I never realised what a gold digger you were."
"John, don't start. I went to a solicitor because of your belligerent attitude the other day. I didn't want to; I just want to be treated fairly."
"Fairly my arse." He snapped, Jesus, you even want my super. Well fuck you Charlotte."
"John, if you will sit down with me and work out a fair settlement, we won't need solicitors, we can do it ourselves and save the money."
The phone hung silently in my fingers, all I could hear was his breathing, "Alright Charlotte, Saturday at the house, how about ten?"
"Yes, that's fine. See you then."
After disconnecting Brianna hugged me, "God what an arsehole. He is an idiot."
Her words stung, I wanted to defend him but she was right, he was behaving like a crazy man.
The week disappeared in editing, writing with Briana and driving lessons with Debbie. She preferred Brianna to drive with her. Apparently, I'm a fuss pot and keep yelling at her to watch out, she follows to close, or she takes her eyes off the road, goes to fast, brakes too late.
Brianna just lets her do her thing, I tried to explain that the examiner was going to be more like me than Brianna.
The arguments over driving aside. Debbie and I had found a more relaxed place. We managed to discuss most things and she listened a little. Now when we spoke, I noticed she listened.
The weekend rolled around and it was time to face John. Again, Brianna offered to come along for support, but I decided, free of any other personalities he and I might actually find a way to get past the anger.
Pulling up in the driveway I noticed the for-sale sign. Unlocking the door and walking in, the house was staged, it didn't resemble out old home at all. OK the furniture was the same but it was completely rearranged and prepared for sale.
I finally found the kettle and cups and saucers. I made a pot of tea and wandered out onto the deck.
As I sat in the old swing chair rocking slowly, I heard John's car pull up. God, I hoped he was alone. Listening intently there was only one door closing, so I guessed he was alone.
He wandered in calling out, "Charlotte... are you here?"
"There's a cup of tea for you on the bench." I replied with a hoarse yell.
Moments later he appeared on the deck, cup of tea in hand. "How have you been?" He asked sitting on the step facing me.
"Fine, although Debbie is going to be the death of me, her driving is still terrible."
He chuckled, "Yeah that I understand, hopefully she's getting better."
"Yes, Brianna has more patience than me." Damn it, the words spilled out without thinking. I saw him cringe at the mention of her name. "Sorry." I mumbled.
"No, it's OK, I'm getting used to hearing her name. Every second word out of Debbies mouth is Brianna... Brianna did this, or that, drives me crazy."
I chuckled with him, "Yes they seem to have got past the bitterness and are now friends at least."
He gave me a strange glare, his face looked tight and drawn, his eyes, cold. "No sense beating around the bush Charlotte. How are we going to do this?"
"John honey all I want is a fair settlement. I know I did the wrong thing and this is all my fault, but I worked just as hard as you did to buy this house. I helped paint it, I did all the gardens. This house is as much a part of me as it is you."
He nodded, "That might be true, but I feel like I am being screwed, and not in a nice way."
Grabbing his hand, I gazed into his eyes, "I am truly sorry John my love. I never wanted to hurt you."
"Then why, god Charlotte tell me why?"
Trying to fight back the overwhelming guilt I moaned, "I can't explain this to you. Nothing I say will make sense, but the moment I met Brianna there was a connection and I couldn't fight it."
Shaking his head in bewilderment he was close to tears, "Have you always felt this way? Were you hiding this from me all these years?"
"No! God no. I didn't know myself. I am telling the truth; this was as much a shock to me as it was to you."
"Christ, I don't think so Charlotte. I feel betrayed, cheated, let down."
Nodding, I squeezed his hand tighter. I let him lift it to his mouth and kiss my fingers. We sat like that for minutes before he muttered, "OK, so what do you want?"
"Honey all I want is for us to sell the house and anything neither of us want and split everything fifty fifty. Debt's money, everything."
He frowned, "I have a real problem with you taking half my super, that seems pretty callous."
I snorted, "I don't want your super, that was the solicitor's idea, not mine."
He mulled it over, I could almost see the wheels turning, "Charlotte, I don't want any of the furniture, you can have it all."
I sighed, "I don't want it either. I want some of our personal stuff, photo's, pots, pans, cutlery. But the furniture, if you don't want it sell it."
"I'll contact an auction house to come and give us a valuation." He groaned.
Giving him a quick glance, I whispered, "Shall I get my solicitor to write it up?"
He nodded, wiped his hand through his hair, "I guess that's it then."
Nodding I moved into his arms taking him by surprise, "Thank you Love, I'm glad we could talk." His rough face felt strange against my cheek as we kissed.
We walked out into the driveway and he spluttered, "I would like us to be able to get along for Debbie's sake."
"I want the same thing John, I don't hate you, I still have feelings for you."
He turned quickly and stared straight into my eyes, "What would have happened if I had accepted your affair with Brianna?"
Shocked I stuttered, "I don't know, I didn't plan any of this, maybe it would have remained just a brief affair and we could have gone on with our lives, I don't know."
He looked confused, frowning, tense, he mumbled, "I'm sorry, we should have had this talk earlier."
We drove off in separate directions.
Thankfully the house sold quickly, the divorce was finalised without contest.
Debbie to my surprise got her licence and it was like pow, she was gone. Well most days she was off with her friends doing whatever it is teenagers do these days.
It left Brianna and I to find out if we could live together.