{Mercy's POV}
The wind whipped my hair in a trail of fury as we rode into uncertainty. I quickly pulled it away and tied it behind me. The sun was just above the trees and ascending, and the birds above us glowed with a yellow outline from its rays.
It was a beautiful day.
I glanced back to look at the walls I was leaving behind. They'd never looked so small.
I slowed my horse to be in line with Armin.
"Question: Why didn't we wait for nightfall to leave? The Titans are practically dormant at night." I asked Armin who's blond hair whipped and slashed in the wind.
"We considered it, but most of the Titans around this area have been eliminated, so we can get some good distance in today and then worry about traveling at night later."
I thought about what he said, and nodded my head. The best way for this mission to be a success was to carry it out as quickly as possible, and any Titans to be encountered would most likely not pose a huge threat. I made my way back to my formation position.
Captain Levi was in front of me to my right. His short black hair swayed and jumped with the movement of his horse revealing his slick undercut with every bounce. His side profile radiated with strength and determination.
"Remember," He bellowed to the group which snapped me out of my gaze, "We shouldn't engage with any Titans we come across unless absolutely necessary. If you stray from the formation, use your flares like you've been instructed to. Nobody die."
"Yes sir!" We all announced in unison. I looked at every member of our squad and took it all in. Everyone's face was expressionless with focus, except for Eren's. His expression could only be described as indifferent or not amused. If anything, he seemed to care less about the whole thing. I wondered if maybe he was upset that he didn't play a key role in the formation.
We rode for several hours before running up on a huge forest.
Captain Levi slowed our formation to a halt as he stared up at the looming trees. I felt Armin ride up next to me.
"If we go through the forest, our chances of stumbling on a Titan is pretty great. If one appears, we'll almost have no choice but to fight. If we go around, we'll be able to spot any Titans in the open and will have more ability to flee," He explained.
"I see what you're saying.." I started, "But if we go around we'll make it to the other side at dusk, most likely. We'll lose several hours, and by the time we make it around our horses will surely be in need of rest and so will we. Not to mention, spotting a Titan is most likely going to happen from here on out, and if we're in the woods our ODM gear will play to our advantage."
He stared at me in consideration, and continued his observations.
"True, but Captain Levi said we shouldn't engage with the Titans unless absolutely necessary, and if we come across one in the forest, it'll be necessary to no matter what. If we go around we'll avoid any altercations. We may lose time, but we'll be more likely to avoid a fight if we go around," he pointed out.
"Yeah..." I agreed and stared back to the forest in front of us. "Think of it this way, though. There's too many variables and too many possible outcomes. If we go around, we might still have to fight a Titan out in the open and we also might not even see one if we cut through the woods. We can think this over as many times as we'd like, but the truth is we don't know what waits for us either way." I turned back to face him.
His eyes widened at my words. When it came to strategy, Armin was very well versed, even more so than I. I knew that whatever decision he came to would be the best one, but at the same time even someone like him wouldn't be able to predict the future no matter how many scenarios he played out.
"Tell Captain Levi we should go through the forest. You're right. If we're going to have to engage with a Titan, our best bet will be where our ODM gear will be our strength." He sounded reluctant to agree with me.
I nodded my head and moved forward to the left of Captain Levi.
"We should move our formation through the forest. If we are to encounter a Titan, we'll have-"
"I know," he cut me off, "I heard the entire conversation you had with Armin. I may be older than all of you, but I'm not so old that I can't hear."
His eyes stayed fixated on the forest, but they were dark and far away. It all made sense in that moment. I remembered hearing about the 57th Expedition outside the walls, and about his fallen squad. The Female Titan squashed them like flies against the very trees that stood before us.
"Captain, we can also go around.." I trailed off and he turned his head toward me.
"If you think I'm going to get sentimental now, you're mistaken," he muttered. He must've known the reason for my back peddling. "You said it yourself. Going through will be quicker and to our advantage, so let's go."
Before I could get another word in, he moved his horse forward and everyone followed suit. I fell back to my position and rode with my squad into the forest.
We rode quickly and the sounds of our horses' gallops rang to the treetops. I felt uneasy. I knew going through would be our best bet, but I couldn't help but doubt myself. I wasn't sure what I'd do if I was the reason any of my comrades died.
It made me curious about Captain Levi. Eren made the comment just the day before about the blood on Levi's hands, and Armin hinted to his supposed terrible backstory. I wondered what it was that kept him up at night, and I wondered how he could ride through the same forest where his comrades were horribly murdered.
Whatever the reasoning, he was truthfully a strong willed soldier to be able to carry on with such a stained past, and my heart sank at the thought. I couldn't imagine losing people the way he did, but should've given it more thought before joining the Scouts. Even poor Ronnie made a point on graduation day that even the strongest soldiers fall. I knew I was strong enough to keep myself alive, but was I strong enough to keep everyone else alive, too? I should've realized that if I was strong enough to stay alive and keep fighting that it would also mean I'd have to watch many people die before me in the process, and I tried to bring myself to accept the fact.
My heart was heavy. The faces of all of my squad members flashed before my eyes, and I couldn't help but hope that if anyone were to die it would be me over them.
I wondered if Captain Levi felt the same way. He outlived every battle, and carried on after many of his friends had fallen.
I glanced at the back of his head, which was the only part of him I was able to see.
Do you ever wish it was you instead of them? I asked in my head.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when several cracking sounds echoed in the distance.
"Titan spotted to the right!" Commander Hange announced. "Don't engage unless he charges!" All of us moved our attention to the direction of the Titan, but before I could focus in I heard a loud snap just to my left.
I whipped my head around.
Standing over us was a Titan several stories tall. It's body was disproportioned, and it's eyes showed no signs of life as if it were merely a puppet. It's shaggy black hair reached its shoulders and its face was hideously contorted.
I knew they were horrible monsters with no remorse for trying to kill humanity until extinction, but I also knew that each Titan was once a member of humanity, too.
In that moment I hoped that they were too incoherent to understand their involuntary slaughters. I hoped that their mind was too far away to remember the screams of their victims and the blood they shed.
I hoped that the humanity that they held before their change was at peace.
I knew that deep down they weren't monsters. Beasts were not born into savagery, but rather created by forces beyond their control.
I quickly shook my head and realized I needed to focus on the task at hand because no matter how much I hated their predicament the Titans still had to be brought down.
"Titan spotted to the left!" I shouted, and could see Captain Levi whip his head around out of my peripheral.
"Don't engage unless they do!" He called. He sounded firm, but nervous. My guess was that he was worried I would jump into action as an eager graduate.
"Yes sir!" I responded. As much as I wanted to take the bastard down, I was going to follow orders. If anyone knew what the right call was it was Captain Levi.
We continued moving forward for an hour or so, and the Titans didn't follow us or engage.
We finally were able to see the end of the forest where the light of the sun shone through like a beacon. It lit up the shafts of the trees, and made the underbrush glow like it was on fire. It was beautiful.
I glanced over at Captain Levi. The sun created a golden outline around him, as if he were some sort of god.
Suddenly, the outline disappeared and I watched him grit his teeth before shifting my focus to the path ahead.
A Titan had emerged from the woods and was standing directly in front of the exit. It was the same Titan I saw earlier.
"Shit!" Captain Levi shouted. "The bastard was following us after all," He muttered.
"What do we do?" Jean called out.
"I'll take care of 'em, because I'll be damned if I let a Titan get in my way," Levi snapped as he shoved his trigger handles into his sheath of blades.
A terrible screech suddenly broke out from the right of our formation, and we all turned to see another Titan emerging from the woods just beside us.
"They both must've been tailing us. Damn abnormals," I heard Captain Levi mutter before he stood atop his horse. The Titan that emerged from our right was far too close for comfort, and without hesitation Captain Levi engaged his ODM gear and flew toward it.
I heard a grunt coming from the front of us. The Titan from earlier was about to charge. I looked over at Levi once again who was swinging around the other Titan. He slashed it's ankles, which made it stumble. He embedded his wire into its back and used the motion of the stumbling Titan to his advantage by letting it swing him upward toward its nape.
I turned my attention back to the Titan at the front who had started sprinting toward us while I was focused on Captain Levi. He didn't give any of us clearance to engage, only himself, but I felt myself attaching a blade to my trigger handle before I even realized it.
You're mine.
Surely, Captain Levi could handle them both, but why let him? More Titans could emerge from the trees at any second, and I wasn't about to let him get bombarded before any of us were prepared to fight.
I stood atop my horse and was about to trigger my steel cable to launch myself into the trees above the Titan when Armin's voice called out behind me.
"What're you doing? Captain Levi can take care of it!" He pleaded. I couldn't tell if he was more scared of the Titan or of disobeying the Section Commander. Either way, it didn't matter.
"I'll explain my reasoning later," I affirmed.
My hair had fallen out of its band, and it whipped and snapped behind me as I ascended to the treetops. My core was fully engaged, and I was able to keep my balance despite not using ODM gear in a while. It was all muscle memory, and everything I'd learned in training came back to me in an instant.
I planted my feet on the large tree limb that branched out just above the Titan. In a quick glance, I could see that Captain Levi had finished off the other one. It's steaming blood was spattered all over his face, and the nape of its neck was carved out. He would've had plenty of time to take down the Titan beneath me if I hadn't taken it upon myself, but my worries were correct.
A third Titan was barreling toward the group from the rear. It's footsteps vibrated in the trees, and I could see Levi catch on. He whipped his head to the formation, as if he was about to command us to fight, but when he saw that my horse was missing it's rider he turned to the Titan beneath me. His eyes trailed upward until they met mine, and even thought he was visibly pissed, he gave me a quick nod before pursuing the newly emerged Titan that was closing distance fast.
Everyone in the formation was pivoting and scanning the woods for more Titans, but Armin's eyes didn't leave mine. I could tell that he had finally picked up on my reasoning behind going against Captain Levi's orders.
I shot him a quick smirk before engaging my ODM gear. My hooks landed right beside the beast's nape, and I pulled the trigger on my controls to send me forward.
I spun several times to gain momentum in my blades, and in one swift movement I used both to slash the Titan's nape clean open as my feet made contact. The Titan went limp, and began falling to the ground, so I released my hooks from its back and flipped myself forward toward the ground. I landed with my eyes toward the ground, both of my blades pointed behind me.
The Titan fell like an old oak tree, and sent dirt and dust flying in every direction from its impact. I felt the whoosh of air send my hair forward until it fell over my face.
I slowly lifted my head to see Captain Levi standing in front of me, his arms crossed over his chest. His face looked displeased, but secretly impressed with my efficiency. A heap of flesh and steam hissed behind my squad members, which was the only thing left over after Levi determined the beast's fate.
"Let's get out of this damn forest," He demanded and stretched his hand out in front of me.
I put my blades away, and clasped my hand around his.
In a flash, the world around me vanished and was replaced with vibrant slashes of red and yellow. With every pang of red essence my body filled with an unknown anger and sadness, while the ribbons of yellow that engulfed me sent over a wave of release and comfort. It was as if the colors were fighting each other over me.
It was all so familiar.
As quickly as it came the colors were gone and I was suddenly standing before Levi and my squad.
"I know you just took down your first Titan," Levi sighed, "But try not to look so stunned."
I nodded my head, and made my way back to my horse.
That was the first time I'd touched Levi's skin. He'd grabbed my wrist at the graduation ceremony, but it was concealed in my sleeve. I'd seen similar colors in my dreams, and was confused as to why they showed up just by a simple touch, and wondered what the hell Captain Levi had to do with it all.
I compartmentalized the thoughts and feelings that riddled me and focused on the mission in front of me. For the moment.
I swung my legs around my horse and settled in while Captain Levi commanded everyone to keep moving.
"Mercy," Armin whispered as he got closer to me. "Did you know there was a third Titan?" He inquired.
I lowered my head and said, "No, but I knew the probability of one showing up was high, and if none of us were ready to give Captain Levi back up we would've had to work harder. That's why I engaged against orders. I didn't have time to explain."
"Hmm..." He said as he thought about what I said. "Couldn't Captain Levi have taken on the Titan while Mikasa took care of the one at the rear?"
"I don't know, Armin," I sighed. "Maybe she could've, or maybe she wouldn't have had enough time to react since she was facing forward. Captain Levi had the best view of both Titans besides myself, and he was able to take action because he could see it coming. Maybe she could've, but either way there's no changing the past now. In that moment, I did what I deemed necessary."
"Yeah.. I guess you're right," He said sheepishly and fell back to his position. I couldn't understand why he kept challenging everything I had to say or any actions I took. He could've been trying to prove himself to be a worthwhile strategist, and worried that my thought process would be deemed better than his, which I didn't think in the slightest. Armin was as brilliant as could be, but our minds were wired differently. I was able to strategize quickly for a short term outcome, while he was better at strategizing for the long term.
If he and I could work out the kinks, we would have made an unstoppable team.
We finally emerged from the woods. The sun was making its descent, but we still had plenty of time to spare.
"From here on out, we'll be traveling at night," Captain Levi announced. "We made it through the area with the least amount of Titans that we know of. The safest option will be to go another couple miles or so, and rest until nightfall. The amount of Titans lurking beyond this point is unknown, but certain."
After he finished with his direction, we rode several more miles before coming to a stop at the peak of a hill to rest.
{Levi's POV}
I dismounted my horse at the peak of the hill and began tying it to a nearby tree.
"We'll rest up here," I said, "We'll have decent enough visibility. I'll need two squad members to keep a lookout on each side of the hill. One facing the forest, and one facing up ahead. Connie and Sasha, you take the first shift. Then, the next hour switch out with someone else."
Connie and Sasha jumped out of the supply cart and nodded at my orders.
"I'll go ahead and whip us up some grub!" Hange exclaimed, which made Sasha's eyes light up.
"Uh... Sasha?" Connie started. "You've got that look in your eyes. Please don't eat all of our rations again." He sounded so nervous. I forgot how much that girl loved food.
"I won't," she chimed, but Connie wasn't convinced. I shot them both a stern look and they headed to their lookout positions.
The sun was hanging just above the horizon, casting golden beams on everything in its path. I stepped away and planted myself partly down the hill to take it all in.
The sun had almost disappeared when I felt someone approach me from the side and take a seat.
"Sure is beautiful, isn't it?" Hange said in awe at the sunset. They handed me a small bowl of soup, and a cup of black tea.
"Thanks," I said as I took the contents from them.
"So..." they started, and just by their tone I already knew where the conversation was going. "I noticed you didn't boot Mercy off the mission."
"What about it?" I muttered as I sipped my tea.
"Oh, you know, just came as a surprise since you fought relentlessly to have her sit this one out. What changed?" Hange tilted their head at me in wonder. I glanced at them and continued sipping my tea.
"It doesn't matter."
They rolled their eye and continued staring forward as the sun had finally sank below the horizon.
"She made a good call, today," they offered.
I scoffed and said, "I had it under control."
"Maybe so, because you usually do, but accepting back up doesn't make you a lesser soldier, just a smarter one," they stated and shot me a look only a parent could give.
I sat my cup of tea down and thought about it for a moment before answering.
"I had it under control," I reiterated stubbornly.
I could have taken down all three Titans by myself, and Hange knew that, so I didn't understand why they were giving me such a hard time about being displeased with Mercy's actions.
"Listen, Levi, all I'm getting at is this girl has major potential, and if we don't let her use it it'll be wasted," they said sincerely.
"So having her on the mission was just one of your experiments, huh?" I muttered and took a deep breath.
"Not exactly. I knew she'd showcase her abilities for sure, and that she'd help us make this mission a success. I was also interested in seeing if putting her on your squad was a good decision, or if she'd be better off elsewhere," they stated. I turned to them.
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"Basically, from what I've seen and heard, she is fierce and holds unimaginable strength, just like you. If you two can work together effectively, your squad will be just as powerful as ever. But if you can't..." Hange trailed off before turning to me. "Then another squad could surely use her abilities."
"Yeah, that sounds like an experiment to me."
Hange groaned and stood up.
"Call it whatever you'd like, but there's a method to my madness," they assured before turning to walk away.
"Hey," I said, "When are you going to tell these brats what this mission is actually for?"
They turned their head slightly toward me, and laughed.
"When we get there. For now, let them enjoy their 'exploration'."
They walked back up the hill and left me with my thoughts. Hange's thought process was beyond me, but they had a good point. If Mercy was truthfully as powerful a soldier as everyone claimed, she would be useful no doubt. Then again, if I were to never let her engage her skills she would also be just as useless.
Hange knew I preferred to be in control, because if anyone's blood were to be on anyone's hands I'd rather it be on mine.
I took a deep breath. I told Eren on the 57th Expedition to make whatever decision he seemed necessary, but urged him to trust his squad. After losing my entire squad after the fact I took it upon myself to only trust myself and to never put such pressure on anyone else. Hange must've noticed since they were determined to have me let go of the reigns a bit, and as much as I hated to admit it they were right.
Not to mention, I felt anxious at the thought of Mercy being taken off my squad. Every fiber in my being was dying to get closer to her, and I hated to admit that to myself, but the fact was undeniable. Ever since I stared into the universe of her eyes I couldn't get her off my mind. I'd lost many comrades in battle, and many friends along the way too, and just the thought of losing her before I was able to know her sent a wave of grief over me.
I stood and made my way back to the group. Everyone had just finished eating.
"Jean and Mikasa, take the next shift so Sasha can eat before she starts going after Connie," I ordered. They nodded their heads and made their way to the lookout positions.
Mercy was sitting next to Armin and Eren, a far away look on her face. The fire in front of them made her skin glow yellow and I could see that her eyes were far away.
I suddenly remembered the look she gave me when I helped her to her feet after she defeated the Titan in the woods. The moment my hand touched hers her eyes widened but were dull and lifeless as if she wasn't really there. Her skin was always pale, but her face became ghostly white, but once she was on her feet it all went away. It was as if she'd seen something, or maybe was about to pass out.
"Hey, Mercy," I said which snapped her out of her daze. I glanced over at Hange to make sure they were listening. "You didn't do too bad for a new graduate," I assured through a deep breath. Everyone looked at me in bewilderment as she nodded slightly and went back to staring at the fire. They weren't use to me giving anyone praise. Hange gave me a quick thumbs up and went back to slurping their soup.
"You all need to get some sleep. We'll be moving out in a few hours," I ordered. Everyone agreed and put their dishes and eating utensils back in the supply wagon, and began finding places to sleep. Except for Mercy.
I walked over and slightly kicked her foot.
"You too, hot shot."
She wouldn't meet my eyes, and kept staring at the fire, but nodded her head to show she heard me. She followed along with everyone else and found a place to lie down.
I made my way back down the hill to be an extra lookout and avoid sleep like I always did.