JORDI ADKINS
"X-xavier?" Nikki was taken by a huge surprise just as she recognized the guy inside the yellow sports car.
"Oh my god, it's Xavier." Jane whispered behind my ears but I was already having a lot of mixed emotions swirling up inside of me.
My heart began to beat twice as fast and I don't know if I was ready to see Xavier just as early as now. It's true that I missed him so badly and I don't even want to admit that to myself because I'm trying to get past him. Apparently, I have a long way to go now that I saw him today. I feel like I'm about to throw up but I also feel like I'm about to pass out at the very same time.
Xavier looked amazingly different and that was the part of me who's still hoping that we could fix this speaking on my behalf. He dyed his hair black and he looked bizarrely different but still hot as ever. I felt a slight pang on my chest and it seemed that my tongue got cut off.
"I'm sorry, Nikki." Xavier uttered.
"Oh, shit. You dyed your hair black?" Nikki asked.
"Yeah, new year, new me." Xavier replied with such confidence before eventually switching his focus on Jane. "Hey, Jane. How are you doing?"
"Hi, Xavier. I feel great. You look very different." Jane replied.
"We all look different." Xavier breathed out. "See you later, ladies." Xavier then drove away leaving me at such a state of shock and heartbreak.
He did not even talk to me as if he does not know who I am. He clearly knew who I am from the fact that he avoided my presence. Xavier just acted as if I don't even exist in this realm when I was obviously standing here right beside Jane and Nikki. I don't even look that much different for him not to recognize me.
I froze on my spot thinking if I should just breakdown and cry. That was a cold ass treatment coming from Xavier. I was expecting him to act like that except that I did not anticipate how much anguish it could impart towards me. This is just the first day after the break and I'm already feeling so fucking crestfallen that I don't even know if I should continue through the day.
"Did he just ignored you?" Jane muttered stating what I already observed.
"Let's just walk." I replied trying my best to be strong even though I'm falling apart from the inside.
Jane, Nikki and I began walking and just as we got to our usual hanging spot, Lala suddenly showed up. Thankfully, Lala appeared to be the same Lala that we knew. She had the same ponytail on and the same style on. It's as if she never went on a break herself that she never even bothered herself to go to the salon or something like that.
"You all look different!" Lala began, her eyes were observing how each of us have changed and I might probably had the least and most underwhelming changes of the three of us.
"Yeah, new year, new us!" Jane chirped sounding just as proudly as ever. She looked happy about her new look.
"Of course, of course." Lala nodded but I know she doesn't really care about Jane's new bob cut and hair color and Nikki forty-inch weave. "Jordi, how are you holding up?"
"I'm doing well." I lied. I'm still trying to recover from Xavier blatantly ignoring my presence a while ago.
"Well, I came here to deliver a good news to all of you. I mean, mostly to Jordi." Lala smiled.
"What good news?" Nikki inquired.
"Actually it's two good news. Or I guess it depends on how you quantify it."
"So what is it then?" Nikki jabbered.
"Okay, last year I reported Michiko to Principal Sanders." Lala divulged revealing such news that I haven't even heard yet.
"You did what?!" I exclaimed.
"Yeah, I reported her ass. I told everything that she's been doing, the hidden cameras and the bullying and the threats and blackmailing bullshit that she's been doing. I just got enough evidence and I finally decided to report her." Lala continued, she was mostly happy about delivering us the news.
"Holy mother of cows!" Nikki breathed out.
"So, what was the verdict?" Jane chimed in.
"Well," Lala looked at all of us and gave such a teasing smile letting us know this was a very good news to hear. "Principal Sanders called his parents and they had a conversation."
"Oh, I'm sure Michiko's parents are just going to pay Principal Sanders and she'll be back here in no time to terrorize everyone with her power." I scoffed out knowing how powerful and conniving the rich people are. They can buy anything using their money and I know that's one of the reason why no one's trying to fuck with Michiko for years. I applaud Lala for having the audacity and bravery to do such thing.
"Na-ah, Principal Sanders isn't one of the people you can buy. She has dignity and she upholds her principles in life." Lala said.
"How'd you say so?" I asked.
"She was about to expel Michiko out of the school but Michiko's parents begged to just transfer their daughter somewhere else." Lala explained. "They don't want the bad record to tarnish Michiko's papers. I felt slightly disappointed that Principal Sanders let Michiko go without putting an expelled note on her papers but I'm still happy that's she's gone now."
"So, that's it? She's out of Hudson high?" Nikki asked trying to hear some sort of assurance from Lala.
"Yeah, girl. She got sent to a boarding school in London. She'll be sipping some tea there and have some fish and chips." Lala squealed.
"Oh my lord. T-that sounds great!!! I bet she's going to have a hard time being watched twenty-four seven in that boarding school." I heaved out releasing such a sigh of relief. This was a good news to me. At least, even though my day got ruined earlier, there's something good that happened.
The day rolled out and I was mostly trying my best to reach the end of the day without resulting into a breaking down. I feel like I'm on the verge of tears all of the time but I somehow, I gradually found out how good I was at pretending that I'm okay on the outside while I'm slowly falling into pieces of the inside. That was exactly how my week has gone. Every single time I go to school, I had to put on a mask and act as if I'm not having trouble with my own self-esteem and happiness. It was difficult to balance that and I'm quite surprised that I'm doing such a good job at it. People think that I'm happy but I'm really not. Nikki and Jane mostly know about what I'm currently going through but I am very much relentless and I kept on lying and convincing them that I'm alright until the point where they were done with it.
Xavier had been very much elusive from my eyes which I kind of expected from him. It's not that I'm looking for him but it's the fact that I rarely see him walking around. He's not even hanging out with Nixon and Darren which was probably the only thing that's positive about it. I only see him during the classes that we share together but besides that, I don't see him gallivanting around the hallways or even eating at the cafeteria just like everybody do.
I finally learned how to accept the fact that Xavier's not going to talk to me anymore. I have been telling that myself but this time around, I am thoroughly convinced with how things are panning out. It's hard to think about the absolute fact that we are clearly over but I'm trying my best to come out of this.
As the week passed by, I became more and more unsure of myself. I wasn't focusing on my lessons no matter how I tried myself to be as focused. I may have deliberately became an invisible person. Harold has been calling and texting me to go out with him but I'm not just ready to be out in the field. I opted to decline every time Harold asks me out up until the moment that he stopped bothering me. The point is, I'm scared to jump back in getting to know other people when I couldn't even stop thinking about someone else. I'm such a wreck and I don't want other people to try and fix me. I should fix myself first before jumping back into the dating field.
I was walking on my way home alone which was the usual thing for me since Nikki and Jane always have somewhere to be every freaking Friday. It's like their schedules have been fixed. I know Nikki's just looking for a place to party. She's just living her best high school life and perhaps she's also secretly going out with Henry. Jane on the other hand, she's always been preoccupied with Brendon, her college boyfriend. She doesn't talk about him that much anymore which was alleviating for both Nikki and I.
As I was trudging my way home, I never would've expected to come across Chad and his usual group of cocky boys who think highly of themselves. I immediately turned around hoping that Chad did not recognize it was me. I pretended to walk in such a casual manner.
"Oh, look at that. We have the gay virus up in our presence." Chad trailed off dosed with such vanity that it immediately annoyed the hell out of me. It was quickly followed by laughter from coming from his minions.
"Fuck." I cursed under my breath. Just as I started to walk away from them, I felt a heavy arm on my shoulder. And then the smell of a mixture of sweat and body odor instantly invaded my nostrils making me want to puke.
"Hey, hey, where are you going, man?" It was Chad and he thought we are so close that he had the right to hang his arm around my shoulder. "I'm talking to you."
"Leave me alone, Chad." I replied sounding as soft and feeble as ever.
"So, tell me, Jordi. How the fuck did you turn Zach gay huh?" His voice felt like knife piercing through my eardrums.
"I-I didn't turn him gay."
"No, that's not the answer that I'm looking for, faggot!" We paused from walking and I just want to pop out of existence at this point. "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU TURN HIM GAY?!!" He screamed out directly into my ears as if I can't already hear his nosy voice out in the middle of the streets. I felt like someone just shoved a spear right into my eardrum.
I closed my eyes trying to gather enough patience but there was none left in me. I don't know where I put the rest of my patience but who gives a damn now. This has just got to stop, I told myself. I need to stand up for myself because no one else would.
I glared over at Chad. "Fuck you, Chad." I pushed him with the force that I was able to muster. It wasn't much because it did nothing to Chad. He's big and beefy so I guess I should've just kicked him by the balls. "You are such a stupid motherfucker. You don't turn someone gay, it's not a virus. If there's a virus in this conversation, that is you and your dumb ass. You are the most stupid kid in this entire city and no one would even argue with me except for your bigoted father. Your head is just as big as a watermelon but you've got nothing on the inside. Your brain is liked mashed. I wish your mother just swallowed you when you're still a sperm." I went on reading Chad to filth. I bet no one has ever read him to filth like that twice. I already did it once, I can do it again. If he's going to let me kiss his shoe, I'm not going to do it this time around. I got enough of the constant threats and bullying. I don't care if Chad and his stupid minions beat the shit out of me in broad daylight. I'm already engulfed in pain and I'm still breathing. I think I can take more of that.
"What did you just say?" Chad immediately pushed me until my back hit the wall.
"I said you're a stupid as fuck. You're also a spineless coward! You should've been aborted when you are in your mother's womb!" I screamed over at him.
Chad got visibly pissed by what I said. The look on his face was just a picture of anger and I'm happy that I pissed the shit out of him. I'm glad that I'm standing up for myself. Chad immediately grabbed my neck and pinned me against the wall. Just as he was about to punch me in the face, someone grabbed his hand.
"X-Xavier?" I was more than bewildered to see the guy who grabbed Chad's hand was Xavier.
"Get your hands off of him!" Xavier muttered in the most serious tone that I've ever seen him.
"XAVIER? What the fuck, bro!" I wasn't the only one who's shocked, Chad was also surprised and just as confused.
"I said get your chubby hands off of him!" Xavier repeated what he said and this time, you could feel the authority gritting in his tone.
"FUCK OFF, MAN!" Chad scowled over at him but it just did nothing but piss Xavier off.
Xavier's face was a visual painting of anger. He grabbed Chad by his collar and pushed him until he got pinned against the brick wall. I'm confused as to why Xavier was saving me in this moment when he's been the rarest animal in this planet for the entire week.
"What are you doing, man? Fucking let go of me!" Chad struggled and was looking over at his minions for some help though no one wanted to help him out. Everyone seemed to be scared of Xavier as they should be.
"At the count of three, I'm going to ask you to leave or else, I'm going to break your ugly fucking face!" Xavier ordered as he let go of Chad's collar.
"ONE!..."
"TWO...!"
"THREE!!!!!" Xavier clenched his fist and punched the wall just close to Chad's face. Chad was visibly engulfed with fear and then the next thing I know; he was already running away like a scared cat.
After Chad skittered away in fear, Xavier turned around and immediately grabbed my hand before eventually pulling me. I'm just confused as a goat on AstroTurf but I just followed Xavier's footsteps until we were both inside his new sports car.
"XAVIER!" I breathed out still bewildered and confused. He just ignored me but then he eventually yanked me over and then gave me a tight hug.