JORDI ADKINS
The spirit of Christmas was already upon us and comes along with it was the coldest breeze to ever grace my skin. I took a moment to shiver and adjust from such nippy brush of the wind that just passed by. I had to quickly take my jacket out and wear it before I could even freeze to death. I was probably one of the few people who decided to run for the door once Principal Sanders closed the show. I thought I was suffocating because of the level of oxygen being too low for people like me and when I got outside, I was slapped with such coldness.
The school auditorium was truly heated in both ways that I could ever imagine. Not only that there are a lot of people warming up the air but what happened at this year's play was also heated and quite frankly, controversial. It will probably go down in this school's history as one of those night who changed the course of the universe. I guess those straight mostly white people who think they're holding the supremacy were all shook on their knees. For me, as a simple gay boy, what happened during the show had a huge impact. Not just one person came out today but two.
Who knew Jack Gebrewold was also gay? I mean, he's one of those kids who loves to make people laugh with their jokes and silly personality. I always thought he was hiding something from the world by using his witty humor and lively personality to cover up something. I'm not sure if I was a hundred percent right about it but he just came out too. This is a small win for the students of North Hudson high school. Now there are no long three gay people in this school, we already have five. And talking people who are out and proud. I know Xavier's gay too but I guess he's not quite ready to be proud of his true self.
Speaking of Xavier, I only saw him a few times this day and all of those are from the classes that we share together. I admit I'm itching all the way from inside out to stalk him and approach him. However, I am so drained from crying and moping around that I just lost the energy. I feel like a dumb person trying to open some canned goods with nothing but my bare hands. Nikki and Jane were there for me and they already know me and the stories that I've told them. We probably don't share the same sentiments but they kept on telling me Xavier's not my loss and that there are better people out there waiting for me. Nikki was very much assertive about her own belief that it's better to stay single up until you met the right person. And I'm like, how am I supposed to meet the right person when I'm staying single?
I just think that if Xavier really does not want to fix this whole thing, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to go through the process of moving on. I'm aware of the fact that it will be draining and painful but I don't got much choice.
The day was such a mess for me too mostly because I've resorted to bowing my head every time I pass the hallways. I don't want people noticing me. I've already caught so much attention from the video that circulated around the school. I may have not received it personally, but I know it was planned to ruin my life. People could really get so heartless in this universe.
"Can you fucking believe what happened?" Jane cursed out of the shocking moment that occurred right in front of the stage. Apparently, Zach just came out to the entire school and it shook every homophobic creature lurking at every corner of the auditorium. I guess we have to thank whoever threw that egg right on his face because that one egg definitely brought out one of the best thing that's ever happened to this school.
"You guys, I think I'm crying." Nikki chimed in. Jane and I quickly looked over at her and she was looking above the sky while fanning her eyes using her fingers. She was trying not to let the tears cascade. "My mascara's going to run down. That was a beautiful moment and I don't think I will get over it."
"Nikki, you are being so over dramatic." I huffed out.
"Shut up, Jordi. You are supposed to be crying with me as well because Zach and Jack was brave over there. I can't with you. And both of their names also rhymes." Nikki whined.
"Girl, please, don't pull that card on me." I shook my head knowing that I've already changed my pillow three times because it got really fucking wet. "You know I've cried more than you this past week. You ain't got nothing on me, baby. I'm dried out. I guess I'm going to quote Ariana Grande and say 'I've got no tears left to cry'."
"Ooooohhhhhh!!" Jane started imitating the way Ariana Grande does her voice and it's not that cute. She sounded like a Janis Joplin on crack.
"Okay," Nikki breathed out. "I think I'm okay now."
The three of us continued walking and for a while, it seemed that we don't want to go home quite yet. We ended up going to the bleachers just in time for the sunset. The hue of the sun tucking away was warm and breathtaking that the three of us decided to take a selfie together.
"This is what people call the golden hour." Jane muttered right after we took selfie. We were all just directly watching the sun as it sinks down the earth.
"I'm going to miss you guys." I blurted out thinking that this will be a sad holiday for me.
"Aww..." The two ladies cooed in unison and we all shared a hug.
"Life really wild you know?" Nikki began. "Zach's really gay?"
"Yeah... I cannot believe that too." Jane nodded in agreement.
"I mean, you don't know much about gay people but in a way, Zach's actually the epitome of a gay person." I divulged blatantly telling them that a person like Zach can't be straight.
"What do you mean?" Jane asked.
They both looked at me with such curious eyes. "He's way too clean for a guy. I've been to his car and he's really really organized. He's smart and way too talented and think of it, he's still in high school. Most talented men discover their talents past high school you know."
"You seem like you know a lot huh." Nikki chimed in.
"Besides all of that. His body was ripped and he's probably waking up early in the morning just to work out. He's incredibly smart and he's not even a nerd to be honest. He's just really adaptive. These are all subjective but most gay men are like them."
"Yeah... Now that I think about it, my uncle was also gay. He's just like Zach, way too clean, too ripped and too organized. He's also quite talented but not as talented as Zach." Jane said.
As the sun finally settled down to pave the way for its counterpart, the purple hue of dusk came in sweeping the gorgeous yolky color of the sunset away. It's about to get dark any time soon and the three of us decided to move down the bleachers and head home.
Right after we moved down, the group of the theatre kids were just leaving the school. They were all happy and excited, perhaps what happened earlier was an opening for more people hiding in the closet to finally come out and be their true selves. They were waving at each other and then Zach and I crossed sight.
"It's Zach..." Jane whispered unto my ear.
"I know."
Zach bid goodbye to his team and jogged all the way to meet the three of us. I would say I'm very much glad that he did what he did in that stage. He turned something embarrassing and dreadful into something powerful and beautiful. Only a few people could do such thing and I'm very convinced that he's truly one of the best people in this world. If that was me on stage, I'd probably ran away and cried. Though, I did the same thing except that I'm not on a stage which kind of helped with my own courage. I was inside the announcement studio right in front of the mic. I guess locking up myself inside boosted my meager courage.
"Hey, Zach. You were so fucking brave out there. I'm so proud for you." Nikki greeted with such cheerful support.
"I know right. You're the star and you didn't let an egg or a simple booing and laughing got in your way. Props to you mama." Jane chimed in making this weird tongue popping noises.
"Yeah, thanks, Nikki. Thanks, Jane." Zach nodded right at Nikki and Jane and eventually redirected his focus towards me.
"Hey," I smiled at him. "Congratulations on coming out!"
"Thank you, Jordi. I wouldn't have done without you." Zach replied and the way he spat those words made me feel like I took part in that when I know I was just relegated in the crowd.
"Nah, that was all you, Zach. It had nothing to do with me."
"No for real, Jordi. You helped me, maybe the courage was all mine but you got part in letting me feel accepted. I got to tell you how I truly felt inside. I was confused for a long time with myself and when I was hanging out with you, I learned a lot about myself." He continued and I could really such passion in him. Everything that's coming out of his mouth felt genuine.
"Yeah." I nodded.
"I got to learn and recognize who the real Zach is and for that, I'm very thankful. Also, I'm sorry for acting like a bitch last time."
"That's fine. I got over it."
"That video kind of ruined my life except that it actually taught me how to be true to myself and you were also in that video. I'm sorry about not listening to what you were going to say. I was just in shambles upon learning that you and Xavier are going out together." Zach went on and as soon as he mentioned Xavier's name, the three of us shared a look together.
"Uhm..."
"What?" Zach looked at the three of us.
"It's nothing." I replied almost immediately. I don't want Zach to be suspicious. I don't think he knows what's going on with me and Xavier and it better stay that way. I've already dragged him into a drama and I most certainly don't want his presence in this mess. "I'm glad that you are finally out of the closet."
"Thanks. Anyway, uhm, you three are headed home?" Zach asked and Nikki swiftly glared over at me.
"Yeah, we are." I replied.
"I could drive you all."
"NO, NO..." Nikki suddenly chimed in.
"We're okay, Zach." I blurted out. "We are enjoying our last day together this year."
"Oh, alright. I respect that." Zach was nodding and seemingly disappointed that we declined his offer somehow. "But we are still friends, right, Jordi?" He looked intently straight into my eyes.
"Yeah. Strictly friends."
"Alright." Zach cheered and even patted my shoulder. "So, I'll go ahead then." Zach said and all three of us nodded hurrying him to get out of our sight.
We watched Zach walked away until he was gone and then we all shared a look and eventually went on a hysterical burst of laughter.
"Oh my god. Is this really the end?" Nikki looked over at Jane and I the moment we were out of the school gate.
"I... I guess so. Yeah." I nodded.
"We'll be seeing each other next year again." Jane added.
"What if we crash a party one last time before the year ends?" Nikki suggested giving both Jane and I such a tempting and conniving look.
"I... What do you think, Jane?" I looked over at Jane. Nikki's suggestion sounded like music to my ears. In a way, I kind of want to let loose. I've been engulfed with sorrow and I'm fully aware of myself. I'm going to be crying on my bed too but maybe this last party could help me forget the pain. At least, just a little bit of it if not all of it.
"Why not. My parents do not care wherever I go this time around." Jane said.
"What about your boyfriend?" Nikki asked concerned about Jane and her love life.
"He can kiss my ass." Jane giggled.
"Okay, but first, I'm going to have to call my mom."