Summary:
I actually don't know what to write here so you'll have to read to find out-
Wednesday Addams planned to never fall in love.
Love was a nauseating and useless emotion that only made you weak and vulnerable to the person who kidnapped your heart—a person who could take your feelings and use them against you. You essentially relinquish control and let down your guard the moment you succumb to that vile affection. Love caused people to behave irrationally; it blinded its victims to logic and reason.
It could turn the strongest individuals into codependent, sniveling cowards.
As far as she was concerned, love was poison. While she normally loved poison, this was a toxin she wished never to be tainted by.
In shorter words, Fuck February .
"Oh, my god," Enid sobbed, and Wednesday could hear her blowing her nose into the tissue stack beside her. "This is the cutest 'effing movie I've ever watched."
They've watched 10 Things I Hate About You almost fifteen times together already.
"It's... adequate."
The movie itself was fine—certainly better than any other romantic movie Enid had subjected her to. She nearly shudders, thinking back to the "Hallmark" movies during Christmas time. The singing scene, Frankie Valli's "Can't Take My Eyes Off You," reminded her of her father and mother. They had danced and serenaded each other with lovesick eyes to songs exactly like that one.
Wednesday briefly wondered if this was Enid's way of torturing her; if that was the case, she respected the crying girl beside her slightly more.
"That must mean you love it!" Enid squealed, the popcorn in her lap almost spilling onto the couch. "Okay, what else should we watch?" The pile of rainbows murmured to herself as she grabbed the large list of movies she planned to show Wednesday.
They were both, admittedly, slightly buzzed. Not enough to wake up with hazy memories, but enough to make stupid decisions that they wish they couldn't remember the next day. Enid had drunk a couple bottles of beer; once they moved into the living room, she resorted to drinking from the cans instead, but because of her more supernatural body, it took an effort to get her drunk.
Wednesday, on the other hand, was sipping cold, hard vodka like it was water.
On her 21st birthday, the entire group raided a local gas station for their liquor and proceeded to break into her home while she was in the middle of a satanic ritual. Enid grabbed her and Thing to sit them at the table while Bianca and Divina blew out the candles and scrubbed the floor clean of red paint.
"You only turn 21 once!" Yoko cheered while cracking open a can of beer and a stack of red Solo cups.
The night was filled with everyone getting plastered to the point of either becoming a weepy drunk or becoming competitive like Bianca and Wednesday. The two girls began a knife flipping contest, and it went... well, the blood wasn't that hard to get out of the carpet.
Today they were drinking for a different reason. Today was Valentine's Day.
"Oh, I know. Let's watch Heathers! I know you'll love this one."
Enid had shown up at their door, liquor in hand, with an annoyed expression on her face. "Yoko forgot to tell me Divina was coming over." Enid scowled before barging into their shared apartment and demanding they eat a bunch of sweets while marathoning a bunch of movies together.
Wednesday doesn't know what it was, but she couldn't deny the girl.
They got about 40 minutes into the movie, a movie that, surprisingly, had grown interesting within the first ten minutes. Wednesday grew invested. She turned to face Enid, a look of hidden awe on her face. "Impressive movie choice. I have to say, I didn't expect something like this to be your taste."
Enid smiled and shrugged, taking a sip of her beer. "Eh, I was getting a little tired of binging on the sappy romances."
"Enid Sinclair being tired of sappy romances? Death must have taken me in his cold clutches."
"Hey, I'm not always obsessed with romance," Enid slurred. "It's just that lately... okay so like-" Enid pushed herself into a sitting position, subconsciously leaning closer to Wednesday. "That girl I was dating recently. The one that dumped me. My mom didn't know we broke up, so she called me."
Wednesday pushed herself up too, leaning towards Enid. The secondary warmth radiating off the other girl burned her, but she forced herself to stay. "Let me guess, more begging for you to be normal? "Summer camps" for your wolf situation? "Summer camps" for your sexuality?"
Enid tiredly nodded, her head falling back against the couch.
"I have told you many times that I know of ways to deal with her."
"No killing my mother Wednesday."
"Disappearance. I like the way you think, Sinclair."
Enid giggled to herself; it was a tiring and heavy sound. "Stop saying my last name like that; you've been watching too many movies." Wednesday resisted the urge to blame her. "I'm just so tired of her, and I'm so tired of her clouding my siblings' minds. They're not like her but sometimes... they slip up. Like a banana peel in Mario Kart."
"What is it you want then?"
"She thinks I'm a disappointment already, so why not see how far I can take it, y'know? I want to see her face when I'm happy and successful, with a loving wife and kids who actually love me and know I would never hurt them like she hurts me. I need to show her that she can't—" Enid's voice wavers slightly. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I don't make sense right now."
"You do."
Enid looks up in surprise.
"Enid, while I can never personally understand a situation like yours, I can tell you your mother is an imbecile. No, that is much too kind of a word for her. Your mother is a complete and utter bitch and a dumbass."
"Wednesday!" Enid gasped in surprise, a large smile returning to her face. Her fangs were showing. Thing even rushed from Enid's room (where he was most likely sleeping) and began tapping in concern. "I mean, you're not wrong."
"I have no doubt you'll find that one day." Wednesday ignores her and grabs Thing from Enid's shoulder, subtly shooing him away to go back to sleep. She didn't want to deal with a tired hand in the morning.
"Find what?"
"Don't make me say it." Wednesday gagged for a moment but conceded. "A loving wife."
Enid beams, almost tearfully, before settling back on the couch. She looked back to the screen to see the scene of Veronica and J.D. in the boiler room and sighed to herself. They missed so much of the movie already.
"Do you think you'll find the same thing, Wednesday?" Enid asked quietly. She already knew the answer to the question, but she still felt bad that she vented to her friend without asking.
"Enid, if I ever fall in love with someone, I want you to take a bat and bash it into my head until my brains are spilling out like one of your slushies."
"Ummm, sorry, I won't be doing that."
"Oh well," Wednesday shrugged. An awkward silence grows, and Wednesday sighs loud enough to catch Enid's attention. "My parents have recently been suffocating me with their questions about whether or not I have been infatuated by someone. I want them to stop their pestering, but I have no way to do so unless I lie. Even that could only take me so far."
"Shit, I'm sorry about that. I know you don't like being pushed like that. But that's, uh, pretty ironic."
"Why's that?
"Your parents want you to find someone, no matter their gender. My mom is pretty much trying to stop me from finding someone. You want nothing to do with it, while I do. You get what I mean?"
Wednesday bobbed her head before sitting up from the couch and grabbing a sip of her drink (vodka).
"I don't get how you drink like that," Enid whispers in astonishment. She downs another cup of beer, gagging at the taste.
The movie in front of them ends, and Enid reluctantly chooses a different one; she'd rather watch Heathers completely sober. Wednesday went to the kitchen behind them to reload on their snacks and drinks. They returned to the couch together, this time with some candy that Wednesday refused to eat. "I'm not touching that bag of diabetes."
It was another hour before Enid suddenly gasped; if Wednesday had a normal heart, it would be pounding from the sudden noise.
"Okay, hear me out—" Enid stands up, and the candy wrappers on her lap fall onto the ground. She nearly trips over a pillow that was thrown earlier. "Before you say anything, you've gotta hear me out first!"
"I don't—"
"Nope. Ju- just turn around real quick." Enid makes a spinning motion with her finger.
Wednesday stares at her in distrust but reluctantly yields to Enid's demands. She turns her back to Enid, and thoughts of Enid stabbing her in the back or killing her while she's vulnerable invade her mind.
Unfortunately, all she could hear was plastic rusting instead of the sharp point of a knife.
"Enid, are y—"
"Okay! Okay, I'm ready. Turn around."
When Wednesday turned around, the last thing she expected was the sight of Enid Sinclair on one knee, her hair sticking up in random places, the tips dyed red and pink to match the holiday. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from their drinking, and a red ring pop was clutched between her middle finger and thumb.
"Wednesday Addams," Enid gulped a nervous breath and nearly choked on it. "Would you marry me?"
Silence surrounds them.
"What."
"Hear me out," Enid rushed to explain. "You get an excuse to get your parents to lay off you, yeah? I get to piss off my mom. And! And we're already living together. We would be married on paper but other than that? We're nothing but friends."
"Marriage is your answer?"
Enid laughed, her head dropping in relief for a second. Wednesday hadn't immediately rejected her. "If I'm going to start a fake relationship with you, I don't want to do it for free. I should be given benefits for that shit."
Wednesday cocked a brow. "Really? Tax benefit? How shallow of you."
"In this economy? We need it now that you're not taking your parents' money. So, uh, could you give me an answer? My knee is starting to hurt."
Wednesday's eyes bore into the girl before her. She felt herself sobering up after this entire scene. "Proposing to me with a ring pop was your first mistake."
Enid smiled sheepishly. "I'm a little broke for the real thing. Would you rather have the spider rings from Halloween?"
"I would rather die than ever be in a relationship with you."
"Till death do us part, right? Now quit stalling."
Wednesday looks at the ring, then back up at Enid.
Her parents would stop asking her questions. She would finally know the word peace . Also, Enid was right— the money benefits could help.
She shouldn't. It was a rash and stupid decision, and she wasn't in her right mind.
"Yes."