One good thing about Aubrey's time away was the fact it brought Sophie and I together. We were both raising our children without their father. Adonis was like my yson too, and she knew she could trust me to treat him like he was my own child because I always will. Aubrey's return was awkward but I worked to get them to be civil at least. Inviting her to Friday dinners with Sandi and my mum, the kids and Tom.
Everyone was avoiding asking questions, avoiding saying the wrong thing too.
" you two planning another one?"
" yeah... another little boy real soon, hopefully"
" that's lovely, Lylee loved being pregnant with the girls and AJ"
" I did, it was amazing seeing them grow, the different bump shapes... cravings"we ate, drank and listening to classism's before we went to put the kids to bed and then went to sleep. We were both wrapped up in each other, his phone under the pillow but had shifted to under mine in his sleepy cuddling. I knew the passcode but resisted, despite being woken up by it flashing in my face. It lit up again and I confirmed who it was, but couldn't see any of the message while the phone was locked. So, I unlocked the phone and read about ten minutes worth of messages. To my surprise, it wasn't a bunch's of girls, a couple thottys he would fuck on when in town, and, then there was a whole thread to one woman. He didn't tell her he loved her, but they talked sex, then i got to the end of the messages to the one which woke me up.
I felt sick, sitting up and locking the phone, before I slid it under his pillow and went into the bathroom. Crying, knowing I was supposed to be the one saying I was pregnant. Thinking it over, and over, Sophie was fucking my husband again and I wasn't exactly sure why she thought she could take me for a fucking idiot. Playing nice with the wife, being my friend, so that she could fuck my man, I thought back to our conversations too. Her saying she wanted a sibling for her son, a daughter of her own and I guess her pre existing baby father served as a good candidate. I was washing my face, as he walked into the bathroom.
" you're awake early Ly" it was 5 in the morning, not the time to argue at all but I wanted to tear him apart. Wanted to tell him, he had given me what I was looking for deep down inside. The okay to do what made me happy. Somehow, I was still playing it cool, as he took my hand and lead me back to our bed. I wondered, how many time she had been playing mistress on my mattress. I wondered where they did it, if they were intimate when Adonis was around, was this all being made to be normal around this kids. Like when I let Damson giggle and play with my baby, behind his fathers back.
" yeah I don't feel good"
" oh... maybe you should, do a test"
"nah I'm okay, I don't need to. " I climbed up onto the high and wide bed, fireplace flickering as he got excited thinking I already knew, and I did.
" you pregnant?"
" nah, I think I have food poisoning and... I think we should wait until your sentencing before we have a baby, or try to"
" why Ly... I want to be our when you have him, or her..."
" you will be here, for the birth of your next baby, I promise" I wasn't talking about the one he would have with me, wondering when he would see that too.
" what's up Ly, you okay?"
" yeah baby, I'm really good... just got a funny tummy... let's go back to sleep" he agreed, pulling me close to him as I resisted.
" what? What's wrong Lylee?"
" I can't cuddle right now Aubrey, being so close to you is making me feel sick" he said he understood, getting me salted crackers and water as I wasn't talking about my stomach at all.
I knew when he found out about Sophie, reading the messages and crying his eyes out. I was looking for items to donate in a charity ball I was invited to, in there for a while, music to keep me company as was Summer and Sienna. They loved playing with my shoes, smelling perfume and using lipstick they were told not too.
" Summer! I told you, don't put on lipstick"
" but you never said I couldn't put it on sissy" Sienna was circus ready, Summer smart at hell. My baby has her lips over lined in the brightest pink and her eyes sticky and slip with blue shimmering shadow. Sat there looking dazed but happy to be included in big sisters games.
" she looks pretty mummy"
" okay! If you like it Sum" I laughed, wiping off summers hands as I saw her edging towards bags.
" I love makeup mommy" I kissed Summer as I picked up Sienna and took her into our bathroom as Summer stayed and played with purses.
I heard his side of their conversation, actually, pausing before I walked out of the walk in wardrobe suite.
" my wife will fucking divorce me Sophie, we shouldn't of been fucking around... no, no! I didn't want Adonis I admitted that but I love my son now, I don't want this baby with you... I want a new baby with my wife and you know that! This is fucked up, she trusted you... yeah, yeah, I know she trusted me too, I fucked up... and I would never choose to have a baby with anyone but her, I ain't got a choice so I'm asking you, please don't do this" I could see it in the way he looked at me when I walked back into the room. Smiling, Sienna on my hip as he acted like he was having a whole different conversation.
" look, I'm busy but make sure you let me know when it's done" he was telling her to abort the child, like it was his call to make and I wondered. Now I knew how under his thumb she also was, I wondered what she would do to "keep him" and soon, she would be able to keep him forever. I was disgusted, honestly, as he obliviously smiled at me, pointing at Siennas face and asking what happened.
" Summer, she's creative, you know" he laughed as I put my child in the tub, wiping the makeup away before I double cleaned her innocent skin from the makeup.
" oh baby girl, what are we gonna do with Summer?" She laughed and splashed away as I added her soft toys and sat on the side of the tub, playing with her for a few minutes. Then she was all washed up, and wrapped up in her daddies arms, with her baby brother as she fell asleep and I got Summer bathed and ready for her story with Dad, in her bed. We had a routine, a order to the madness of three kids and no celebrity careers.
A few nights later, I was on my way to meet for a table reading for Steppers II, knowing I wanted to stay strong and act like I wasn't counting down the days. I didn't have time to think about him for a while, with my husband getting his baby mama pregnant and subsequently bribing her to get rid of it. I was missing his smile, the way always wanted to touch me somehow, some way. Telling me I was beautiful as the room watched energy exchange in a way it rarely did. My part was close to his, again, this time playing a couple which I knew Aubrey wasn't pleased with. It took a matter of hours, before we were both saying each others names, in every position, connecting in a way we didn't realise. Beyond romance, we were in love, him listening to me tell him how much Aubrey hurt me but I couldn't leave. He told me he hated the way things were but, he would rather us be a secret than to not be at all. Telling me to relax as he brushed my hair back with his palms and made me feel better the way he knew best.
His suite our safe place for the few hours, over the next couple of months. Well, usually, with me saying I was at a meeting. Blew my back out, protected of course, then sent me back home to my husband and kids. Told me it wasn't always going to be about him and, what he wanted. That he loved how he felt when he was with me, wished he could take me on the dates he planned in his mind but knew it was worth the wait. Told me I made him feel seen, appreciated and all he wanted to do is give me the love I longed for.
" you're so much more than a secret to me, but... I know I love you enough to trust you to keep your word"
" and this time, I will... I promise" we kissed slowly, like it would be our last time, every time.
I left the suite, smiling to myself in a off white midi silk sleeveless dress that hugged my curves, and demure cream Chanel heels that matched my purse. Hair curly and tossed by the wind, as I walked to my car hidden away in the cut.
" Lylee!" I jumped, looking behind me at Tasha scowling at me as she walked over to the Porsche truck.
" What are you doing here?"
" no! What the hell are you doing!! Get in the car"
I did, and she did too, silent as I chose music for my journey.
" you sleeping with damson again"
" Like I said, I love him, plus... he's sleeping with his baby momma"
" Sophie!?"
" yeah, she's pregnant..., again-"
" oh Ly... I know you two have been trying"
" luckily, it ain't worked so..."
" he told you she's pregnant"
" he doesn't know I know,"
" so this is spite?"
" no..., this is done Tisha, and I'm okay with that"
" Ugh Ly... I can see why you're mad but"
" enough is enough and, I'm happy with Damson"
" so you're gonna pretend to love Aubrey"
" yeah, just like he does with me."
Took my shower and made dinner for my children, as he made his way back home from wherever he was. I didn't care, didn't ask,'and he didn't like that after a while. Felt me slipping out of his hands, his heart and comfort no longer my main focus, our bed distant and cold. His attempt at intimacy shut down, or reduced to the minimum. Unconnected sex, missionary, but my eyes were distant and cold his lips left foreign on me, as did I when I rode on him. Throwing it back and seeing Damson in my mind. That would help me come alive
"Fuck Ly"
" ugh,- Dam" I caught myself before I could be caught out, saying another man's name in bed with my husband.
" shit Ly"
" you come?"
" yeah" I got up immediately, showering and leaving him to lay there thinking about how things used to be.
I got back into bed, catching up on my shows as he scrolled through IG and opened videos he was sent by aspiring artists. My husband got so many messages, so seeing what he did eventually see was fate I guess. It was time for things to be known, and neither is us could run from the other and more.
I fell asleep, and so he turned down the lights, putting in his air pods as he scrolled down and saw a video received a week before. The caption read:
"Hollywood superstars scandal revealed - Drake won't be happy about this one." And so, he inquisitively clicked and changed the dynamics of our lives in doing so. He saw a empty shot of a bed in a hotel suite, then, to his horror Damson leading me to the bed holding my hand, in my bra and thong as he let his length show and shine. He picked me up, and laid me across the side of the bed first, eating it for almost twenty minutes as I moaned aloud and held his head. Then he picked me up again, putting me in the middle of the bed and fucking me until I squirted everywhere. It ends with him kissing me passionately, as we leave the shot to shower together and go back to acting like we were just colleagues. He screenshot the clip, and got out of the bed to sit in our bedroom sofa. Drinking himself silly, staring at the walls, and me, sleeping peacefully, until I woke up about an hour later, being sick again. I decided to just do a test, then and there, not expecting anything as I did eat things I shouldn't over the weekend.
I walked out the bathroom some time later, and he was back in the bed. Looking at me, looking at him like I had seen a ghost.
" you okay?"
" yeah...what?"
" we have to talk Ly"
" okay about what" I thought nothing, if anything he was going to say something about the kid with Sophie but it wasn't that.
" You, fucking Damson?" I turned to him, slowly as he walked towards to me.
" what?"
" are you, having sex, with Damson?" His voice getting louder with each word.
" no!" His eyes looked crazy, crazed with anger as his hands were thrown around.
" okay... have you ever had fucked with Damson?"
" no! I said no Aubrey! What's wrong with you... are you drunk? Why are you just sitting there drinking?"
" are you in love with him Ly?"
" Aubrey, stop! You're drunk"
" okay, I am, but you know why... look, look, what's this-" he pushed his phone into my face, skipped to a part of the video where I was riding Damson, moaning and saying I loved him as he slapped my ass and sucked on my titties.
" I'm sor" - we were tussling for a while, knocking shit, over until he punched me in the face, before I could say anything else, my body falling to the ground as I begged him to not hurt me anymore.
" Aubrey! Stop!" He stopped, grabbing me as he stood over me.
" fuck you, whore! I seen you... lying to me this whole time now, as I was turning blue in the face and close to passing out.
" I should kill him! I loved you Lylee! How could you make me do this? huh!?" I was balling, confused, shocked and trying to stop my nose bleeding. My mouth tasting metallic, bloodied and my left eye puffy and about to be good and blackened. He was panicking now, looking at me and saying he was so sorry. He was wrong, he had to go.
" I'm pregnant"
" I'm sorry-" he fled the house but no one was going after him, no one heard us now our room was sound proofed, leaving the house and me in a tearful ball on the ground in our trashed bedroom.