"If the multiverse really exits. I hope our other selves are genuinely happy".
---
The clouds gradually disappear as they clear the way for the bright sun. The sky is blue and quite soft. The birds flew around peacefully. Songs of beauty are sung by them, just a rhythm without any words. The cool breeze and fresh air give comfort and relaxation. A rustling sound of the dried leaves interrupted the calm sound of the traveling wind. A soft hand slowly brushed through the engraved letters. She ran her hands through the gravestone, picking off some dried leaves on it.
A year has passed. A long year of grief, yearning, and loss but still full of hope.
Another chance.
New life.
New chapter.
---
"Hey, it's me! The person you saved."
"I'm still recovering".
"Thank you for saving me. I'm the new owner now so I'll promise to take good care of this. I will always be forever grateful to you and this precious heart."
A smile appeared on her face as she feels her heart in a calm and relaxed beat.
This was the third time she visited the girl. The first one was when she fully recovered then the second time was the girl's birthday and now, her death anniversary, a year has passed since the heart transplant.
In loving memory of Yeh Shu Hua
"Enjoy every moment you live"
1995-2023
"I still remember the last words your mother said to me after my operation....."
"Live and be happy".
---
Tzuyu's POV
Yeh Shu Hua. I met her at the hospital by chance because of her mother. But she has no idea about it. Her room is next to mine and I remember, it was Spring season on that day. According to her mother, she got into a car accident. She was declared a brain-dead patient for almost six months when I was urgently brought and confined in the same hospital she was admitted to. It was the next day after I had a cardiac arrest on that night when Sana was still undergoing an operation. I was so lucky but more grateful since I survived that night. I thought I was going to die. But fate is kind to me, especially to God. He still gave me a chance to live.
After a week of being hospitalized, my body quickly weakened. I lost all my strength to the point that I can barely move my body or can't even walk on my own so I had no choice but to use an electronic wheelchair. I said to my mother that I want to get out of my room since I started to feel suffocated and bored being just there lying only on my bed. I was so eager to see what the outside of my room look like. I want to see the view from the outside, but I was not allowed to go out of my room or even from afar. Since my immune system got weaker, my doctor told me that I might get infected easily by a transmitted virus. If that happens, my condition will get worse that's why he forbade me. I know it was for myself and the sake of my health but I don't want to live the rest of my life here in the hospital by locking myself in my room.
Flashback....
"Mom, please?! Just outside my room. I want to go outside! I don't want to be in here. I feel so suffocated!". I accidentally raised my voice at my mother. It was the first time I yelled at her. My mood changed as soon as I saw how my mother's eyes become sad. And that's when I realized I commit a mistake so I apologize quickly.
"I'm sorry, Mom. It wasn't my intention. I just want to breathe for a while."
"Just this time".
I averted my eyes from my mother to avoid her gaze then ended up staring at the ceiling. Just a few moments later, I heard her footsteps approaching me. A soft and warm touch wrapped around my hand.
"I know you're tired of being confined in here but at least try to loosen up."
Silence fell between us and then my mother spoke again. .
"Promise me not to hide when you're in pain. Don't cry alone. I'm always here for you, my princess because I'm your mother".
As soon as I heard that, I break down. I don't know but I suddenly burst into silent tears when I felt her grip tighten on me and she gently caressing it.
"Crying is a way to cleanse your heart. It's alright to cry sometimes. You don't have to pretend to be okay. It's alright....."
I turned my head and looked my mom in the eye then I asked her about what was inside my mind.
"Did I make the right decision, Mom?". I straightforwardly asked, not minding the tears that keeps messing up with my face.
She cupped both my cheeks and slowly wiped away the tears that keeps betraying me. It was the first time my mother saw me crying.
"Is it about Sana and your friends?", she asked me and I just simply nodded at her.
I left them without even saying goodbye. I know the hospital will not leak any information about their patients and their records because it was prohibited. But, I still talked to Hyung Daniel and Irene Unnie not to inform Sana and my friends of my whereabouts. I just want to make sure of it. In case, they asked questions about me. I even changed my phone number and deactivated all my accounts so they can't reach me.
In short, I cut ties with them.
They don't know whether I'm still alive or not.
How cruel I was?
"I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. Why we can stop making decisions we regret?", I sobbed.
We've all done things that weigh us down and make us wonder, "Why do I seem to do what I know is wrong?".
"Sometimes, we make decisions not only for ourselves. We think more about the situation of others compared to us and that's what we called sacrifice..."
"You're brave and strong, my daughter. I'm so proud of you. I will always be proud of you."
"Mom, I want them to forget me. To forget all about me."
"You can control them but you can't dictate what is good for them." My mother wrapped her arms around my body and help me sit on the bed.
"Let's go?", she said.
"Where are we going?", I asked.
"I thought you want to go outside your room." My mother softly smiled at me and support me to stand. She then get my wheelchair and made me sit there.
"Thank you, Mom".
"Just only a few minutes. If you don't want your Uncle and your father to scold us later".
We both laughed at what she said and then we went out of the room.
---
"You stayed here. I'm going to get you some milk. What do you prefer? Hot or cold?", my mother asked.
"Hot, Mom."
"Thank you and I love you". I smiled softly and she left me for a while in front of the huge window glass.
I looked outside and the sun shines down on the big cherry blossom tree. Its pink flowers glow softly. The birds flutter about the branches while chirping. A gentle breeze rustles the leaves. And the sweet smell of cherry blossoms fills the air. I watched the beautiful tree and got mesmerized by it.
All of a sudden, I heard someone crying and that's when I met Yeh Shu Hua's mother. I turned on my wheelchair and approached the woman who was sitting alone on the bench. I get the clean handkerchief in the pocket of my pajamas and give it to her. At first, she was hesitant to take it but later on, she accepted the handkerchief and wiped away all her tears. Afterward, I slowly leaned forward to hug her because I know that was the only thing she needs.
"I want to apologize for ruining your moment there, young lady. It just..I can't help myself but cry because of my daughter", the woman explained.
"No, it's fine with me, Madam."
"And besides........crying is not a sin. You are free to do it whenever you wanted to. It's better to let it out than to hold it back", I said while I'm looking out the window and watching the clouds in the sky.
"I have a daughter and I think she has the same age as you."
The woman let out a half-smile then I felt her staring at me.
"She was a brain-dead patient and she was staying here in the hospital for almost six months now", she continued.
My eyes widened as soon as I heard that. I bit my lower lip as I felt a pang inside my chest on what happened to her daughter. It was very heartbreaking and I felt bad for her, especially for her daughter's condition.
Any mother would be hurt when something bad happened to their child. No one could ever explain how much pain they feel.
"She got into a car accident".
"May I know what's her name?", I asked.
"Her name is Yeh Shu Hua".
"That's a beautiful name".
"Of course. I'm the one who gave it to her and not her father", she softly chuckled.
"Same goes with me. I'm Tzuyu and my mother gave me that name. I guess all fathers suck at giving names to their children." I laugh softly and then offered my hand to do a handshake with the woman.
"I'm Chou Tzuyu", I introduced myself. I was glad she accepted the handshake with a soft smile on her face.
"So why are you here in the hospital?", she asked me.
"I'm dying soon. I have a congenital heart disease", I straightforwardly said. I know she was shocked based on how her eyes widened and put her hand to cover her mouth in disbelief.
"Oh dear...Can I hug you?". The woman immediately stood up and before I say my answer she already did it. My body froze from her hug.
Why does every mother have the same warmth?
"Are you alone here? Where's your parents?".
"My mother gets me something to drink but she'll be back while my father is at work. He will come to visit me here tonight."
The woman slowly nodded while listening to me.
"What am I going to do with my daughter?", she asked me all of a sudden.
She looks at me once again. It was desperate and miserable. A mother who was lost and yearning for her child's warmth. I look at her with sadness and was left speechless. She noticed that I was stunned by her question. I don't know what exact words to say. Also, I'm not in a position to say any recommendations or what's good for her daughter. She was about to speak again, but my mother suddenly came.
"My princess? Where— Oh..I'm sorry. Did I interrupt your conversation?", my mother asked.
"No, we're just done talking here. No worries."
"By the way, I'm Soyeon Hua, the mother of the patient next to your daughter's room." The woman lowered her head and bow to my mother.
"Ow, I'm Huang Yen-Ling, the mother of this young lady here." My mother introduces herself as well and bows also with respect to the woman beside me.
"I have to go back to my daughter now. It was so nice to meet you and your daughter".
The woman slightly bends her body to face me. She then let out a sweet smile and softly caressed my head.
"It was very nice to have a conversation with you, Tzuyu. Thank you". The woman said then bid her goodbye to us. I just watched her with a heavy heart but then I looked down while she was walking away from us. I wondered if I at least make her feel better with just a short time of having small talk. I glanced at the woman once again and when she was about to enter the room, I suddenly called her.
"Mrs. Hua!".
The woman stopped in her track. She turned her head to me and our eyes met. Then, she smiles again.
"What is it, young lady?", she asked.
I went to her and slowly reached out her hands to hold it tight. I sincerely looked up at her and give the best smile that I can give to her.
"Mother knows best."
"I mean you all know what's the best for your children. Please, take good care of yourself too, Mrs. Hua." I let go of her hands quickly and then looked away from her as I felt shy after what I did.
The woman chuckled, cupped my cheeks, and look at me in the eye.
"You know what...Thank you for saying that. I appreciated it so much."
"You're so kind. Your parents are so lucky and proud to have you. So please, keep fighting and don't lose hope. You just need to believe."
"Your husband and your children are also lucky and proud to have you in their lives. Always remember that, Mrs. Hua."
"And....."
"You're a strong woman and a brave mother." After that, we just smiled at each other before parting ways.
---
A month later......
7:00 PM
My parents and I were just done eating our dinner together. We're now having a good time eating fruits while talking about some random stuff. I was sitting on the bed while my parents were on the couch when the doctor and a nurse entered my room. I suddenly become nervous.
What is it now this time? Another disappointment? False hope? Still not good news about my condition?
My parents become quiet just like me. My mother suddenly held both my hands as she makes me feel calm. I glance at my parents and they looked so nervous as they waited for the doctor to say something.
"I have good news for you, Tzuyu." The doctor and also my uncle said as soon as he entered my room.
"We already found you a heart donor and your operation will be held tomorrow morning." He smiled at me but I was just stunned for a moment as my brain tried to figure out what he said. Slowly, I turned my head to my parents and they were now crying in front of me.
"Mom..."
"Dad...."
"Is this real?", I asked them.
The tears that I'm trying to hold back betrayed me and freely flowed down my cheeks. My parents hugged me as they gently make me feel calm. Few seconds and they let go of their embrace me. They talk to my doctor about the operation tomorrow.
After having a discussion, the doctor and the nurse bid their goodbyes to us. The doctor was about to walk out the door but I interrupted her from leaving.
"May I know what's the name of my donor?", I asked curiously but he smilingly turned to me and said, "You will know about her name soon. Her parents will be going to visit you after your operation. So you should better get through your operation tomorrow. Rest well."
---
The next day...
This is what I've been waiting for in my whole life. Today is the day that I will undergo a heart transplant.
The operation was successful. I was fully awake from 24 hours of being unconscious. I'm still in the ICU for my recovery. The doctor checked my condition and I found out that Yeh Shu Hua was my heart donor. I was surprised because it was the daughter of Mrs. Soyeon Hua.
Over the next few days, the ICU team eases me off the supporting devices and medications. I undergo physical therapy to help me get moving.
"How many days will–". I didn't finish what I'm saying to the nurse when someone suddenly knocked on the door while I'm doing my physical therapy.
I turned my head at the door and saw Mrs. Hua smiling at me. I quickly sat on my electronic wheelchair and went towards her. I suddenly cried when I saw her.
"Ow, be careful! You're still recovering, Tzuyu", the woman said then kneeled in front of me.
"Mrs. Hua. Thank you so much!", It was the first thing I wanted to say as soon as I got the chance to see her again.
"Hush now. Don't cry, Tzuyu. I'm sorry if I visited you just by now. I only had the chance today because I'm busy with my daughter's funeral last week."
"So how are you now?", she asked me and there we talked about everything.
I found out that Yeh Shu secretly joins a donor registry. Her mother discovered it when she and her husband decided to set her daughter free from the machines that support her life. She only did that for the sake of her daughter. Also, she wants her daughter to be finally at peace.
"I need to go now. Get well soon, Tzuyu."
"Mrs. Hua, when I fully recovered....can we see each other again?", I asked with a smile on my face.
"Of course! You already have my phone number, right? Just call me anytime you want. I'll be waiting". She smilingly waved her hand at me and before she walked out of the door, Mrs. Hua turned to face me once again.
"Promise me to live and be happy, young lady." She said that with a soft smile.
My tears welled up once again but I immediately wiped it away and responded at her just like I did back then. I smilingly nodded and gave the best smile that I can.
End of flashback....
---
"Hey, Tzuyah...."
Tzuyu went back to her trance when someone call her. She looked back at the girl in the distance who was leaning against the car door. She was wearing her sunglasses and seemed to relax while waiting for Tzuyu.
"Hmm..what is it, Elkie?", the tall girl asked.
"We need to go now. We're going to be late on our flight." Elkie said while showing its wristwatch to Tzuyu.
"Alright. I'm sorry. I'm going there now".
She stood up and then take a look once again at the gravestone before leaving.
"Yeh Shu, thank you again for saving me. Let's meet in another life. I will find you there and be friends with you." Tzuyu said then looked up and let out a bright smile as she watch how the sky was so peaceful today.
---
Tzuyu and Elkie are already in the car. They were sitting in the passenger seat and during the ride, Tzuyu was just watching the view out of the car window. Elkie, on the other hand, turned to Tzuyu as she noticed the tall girl had been silent the whole time.
"Mind sharing your thoughts?".
Tzuyu immediately turned her gaze to Elkie. "Ow, it's nothing", the tall girl simply said.
"You look bothered. Is it about Sana?".
"What about her?". Tzuyu asked.
She averted her eyes at Elkie and looked again outside. At that time, she was quiet while touching the necklace she was wearing. She then remembers the person who gave this thing and their last memory together.
Flashback...
That night, I had a cardiac arrest. I was so scared, disappointed, and sad. I wasn't ready for that. I'm not ready to disappear from this world without knowing and seeing that Sana was in good condition and completely fine. That I didn't see my parents and hug them for the last time and the last thing that my eyes saw was the crying of my two best friends.
I thought I couldn't make it and I was going to die.
But then I had a dream...
I saw someone looking at me. Her eyes sparkle like a glass full of diamonds. Her voice is the sweetest thing I had ever heard. Its tone rings the sounds of good melodies to my ears. She's like a beautiful flower, with the smell of greatness. Her beauty hit my heart so I glance at her over and over. Her sweet smile lit up my world.
She was calling my name as she walked towards me. And that's when I finally saw the face of a woman wearing a white gown.
It was the only beautiful thing I stand to watch in my dreams......is HER, my beautiful bride.
"Sana!", I screamed out her name when I suddenly regained consciousness. I quickly got out of bed and when I was about to stand up, two nurses stopped me.
"Ms. Chou, please don't move. You need to stay in bed and rest", one of the nurses said. I didn't listen to her and I just shoved away their hands from me until I escaped. I don't care anymore about myself. All I only think about is her.
I ran until my feet reached the operating room. I saw Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung standing in front of the door. My heart pounding so fast. I get nervous as soon as I saw the two crying.
"Where's Sana?!", I asked them while breathing heavily.
The door opened just in time and Doctor Kang showed up to us. I frowned at him when he looks at me without expression. His eyes widened when he finally realized that I'm here standing in front of him. His face saddened.
"N~No! Do~Don't fcking looked at me like that?!". My voice echoed as I screamed. I slowly shook my head when I hastily walked towards the doctor.
"Tzuyu, I'm sorry", he whispered enough for me to hear it.
"I did everything I could but Sana couldn't—".
He couldn't finish what he was going to say when I suddenly grabbed him by the collar of his scrubs.
"Why?! Why you didn't save her?!", I yelled out in frustration.
"Tzuyu! Stop this!". Jeongyeon meddled with us and tried to keep me away from the doctor.
"Let go of me! Don't fcking interfere here!", I took back my arm and pushed Jeongyeon away from me.
"Fcked off!".
After that, I turned back my gaze to Doctor Kang. My grip on him tightened. My eyes glared at him.
"Sana is the one who...." My sight become blurry as my tears betrayed me in front of him. I quickly wiped it away and began to speak again.
"Hyung, I told you to save her! I begged you to save Sana!". I angrily said then I felt my knees become weak so I slowly bend my knees on the floor. My grip on him loosened. I was crying. My heart was in pain. I don't want to believe this.
"This thing is not true!". My voice cracks up. Then, I felt him hold my shoulders. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around me.
"Hyung, I trusted you with her...to save Sana and make her feel better. But you didn't!", I sob uncontrollably. I cried all the pain inside me.
"You will do yourself harm if you keep that.."
It was the only thing he said to me before the nurse call him back inside the operating room.
"Doctor Kang! Ms. Minatozaki's pulsed returned! Her heart suddenly beats again".
End of flashback...
---
I was very grateful back then when she survived the operation. I can't tell if it was a miracle or if it wasn't just her time for that to happen.
All I know is that I'm very happy to see her alive. There is no place for my joy that night.
Also that night, as soon as my parents found out about the accident and what happened to me, my father called me to inform me that a private plane was coming to Seoul to pick me up. After that call with my father, I've already decided. It was a selfish decision for the nth time.
And that night after I saw Sana was completely fine, Hyung Daniel and I talked about her condition and then, I also talked to him and Irene Unnie about my departure and return to Taiwan. I told them to keep it a secret and not to tell my friends, especially Sana about my decision.
When we were done talking, I went to Sana's room. I slightly opened the door to catch a glimpse of them for the last time without them knowing. I let out a soft smile when I saw Sana sleeping peacefully and I saw my two best friends laughing together with Jihyo, Mina, and the other girls. I slowly closed the door and then took my deepest breath with ease but at the same time with a heavy heart as I walked away and leave them.
"I should've hugged you tighter the last time I saw you"
---
"Are you ready to see her again? Your friends? For the first time after a year?". Elkie asked Tzuyu another question. She only heard a sigh from the tall girl but then after a while Tzuyu answered her.
"Of course, I am."
"I'm ready. I'm always ready."
"I missed them so much".
Tzuyu was happy and the thought of seeing those persons who she valued the most brought a huge smile to her face.
"Glad to know that, but expect the unexpected, okay? A year had passed and a lot can change over time." Elkie said before she closed her eyes and decided to sleep for the meantime while they have not yet arrived at the airport.
Tzuyu knows about what Elkie said. She fully understands that. She expected that to happen in the first place. A lot of changes. She expected Sana and her friends to hate her. She also expected that when she came back, Sana would not love her anymore and she is no longer in the woman's heart because someone else replaced her. She no longer owns Sana's heart.
---
"True love isn't always about being together. Sometimes, it's about letting go".
"Not all great love lasts but ours will remain great."
"Longing for a wave of love to swell up in me"
-Tzuyu.
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Hello, I'm back. ❤️