thank you to Finland_CH for this request (actually the first legitimate request so I'm kinda excited lmao)
Finland: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed
~~~
Norway: Alright Sweden, Denmark. Let's go over this one more time.
Norway: If something breaks?
Sweden: We try to fix it before Finland gets home.
Norway: If it doesn't work?
Denmark: We blame Greenland.
~~~
Denmark: What are you doing?!
Sweden: Burning these awful clothes.
Denmark: Those are mine! I wanted those back!
Norway: Well, frankly, you should have thought of that before we burned them.
~~~
Iceland: You'll have to forgive Finland, he has a heart condition
Iceland: ... He doesn't have one
~~~
Iceland: Well if girls can wear anything they want, then so can we!
Iceland: Come on Greenland, we're gonna try on dresses!
~~~
Sweden: Everyone knows that Denmark's the exciting one. I'm the intellectual one. And you're the totally awesome levelheaded kind-hearted glue that holds us together!
Norway: *gets a call*
Norway: *answering the call* Glue speaking
~~~
Finland: You never do anything by halves, do you?
Norway: Nope! We're three halves of a whole idiot!
Sweden: No wait we'd have to be six halves because there's three of us
Denmark: We're one and a half idiots each?
Finland: *sigh*
~~~
Denmark: We have a problem.
Finland: Gotcha, here's a box full of knives.
Denmark:
Denmark: Okay, we have two problems.
~~~
Norway: You know what? I'm tired of being accused of shit I didn't do. When I could be accused of shit I did do!
Norway: Don't ask for specifics.
~~~
Finland: I just boiled water.
Norway: Solid!
Finland: No.
Norway: I just mean it's cool.
Finland: Wrong again.
~~~
Sweden: I have lemons, I make lemonade.
Denmark: That's a very positive attitude.
Sweden: But I hate the lemonade business. I hate the grind.
Sweden: *Starts crying*
Sweden: You have to grind so many fucking lemons.
Denmark:
~~~
Denmark: Oh good! You heard my call for help!
Finland: You mean your girly scream?
Denmark: I MEAN MY CALL FOR HELP.
~~~
Iceland: What is this place, anyway?
Sweden: I don't know. This whole area is unmapped.
Finland: It's not unmapped, Sweden. You lost the map.
~~~
[At a shooting range]
Denmark: This is great.
Finland, watching: You've never used a gun before have you?
Denmark, throwing another gun at the target: I'm out of guns, I need another one.
~~~
Denmark: Finland, I'm sorry for making fun of you in front of everybody. And also for making fun of you behind your back.
Finland: Didn't know you did that, but thank you for the apology.
Denmark: I'm not done. Also, I'm sorry for making fun of you to everyone in the UN. And the EU. And NATO. Those people don't even know you. That was uncool.
~~~
Finland: Go fuck yourself.
Denmark, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch