"Are you getting up or what?" Chris asked Matt when Matt just opened his eyes. "Yeah." Matt replied with his sleepy voice. "You don't look like that." Chris get close to the window and open the window.
The sun came inside Matt's room and lighted up the room. Matt's blue eyes were so bright this moment that he couldn't see anything in the room. "Oh god! Close it!!" Matt shouts and put the blanket on his eyes.
"So get up!!" Chris said and left the room. Matt just had to wake up and getting ready to school. Even he didn't want to. He knew he going to see you there and you won't come and talk with him, our hug him, or kiss him cheek before history class... like every Monday.
He actually didn't even realise that you won't text him this morning, like always. Your 'good morning baby' with the red heart, and he always was smiling at this. But this morning, nothing.
He got ready to school and took his bag, went downstairs and saw Chris and nick eating some pancakes. "Good morning sleepy." Nick said. "Shut up." Matt took the milk out of the fridge and drank it. "Wow, use the cups dude!" Chris said and Matt just kept doing it.
"I'm sorry but I'm not drinking anymore." Matt said after putting back the milk in the fridge. "So.. you have history today with ms smith?" Nick asked Matt . "Yeah.. it's Monday.." he says.
Nick nodded and looked at Chris when nick remind Matt of the history class, he first met you there. And now he going to be stranger to you again. "Chris, can I ask you something?" Matt asked Chris and Chris just let him ask.
"Where have you been last night?" He asked . "Oh I was with Zech for a while.." he lied but Matt didn't knew anything about it.
"Okay.. I bet you guys just played some videos games." He laughed. "Nope we went to the field and played basketball.." Chris replied. "Okay I'm in the car!" Matt took the bag and get out of the house.
-
You were at school waiting for Chris or nick to show up, you knew you'll see Matt either but you still wanted to be with your friends.
You saw nick and Chris fighting over the school system and you laughed under your breath. "What are you laughing at?" Chris asked when he got into school. "Nothing." You said. "You laughed at us no?" Chris hugs you.
"Yeah kinda of.." Matt look at you saying those words like nothing happened and hugging his brother not him. "Hey!" You said to nick but not a single word to Matt, while he just stare at you.
You talked with nick and Chris a little but felt Matt's eyes on you, all the time.
"I'll be in my locker if someone needs me." Matt said and nick nodded, you just looked at him walking away from you. You hoped he'll talk with you, but Matt hoped the same thing to you.
Finally the school started and you just sat there, you had to sit next to Matt because its was your place at the class. But you didn't talked with Matt or anything like that.
"So.. are you going to ignore me all day long or what?" Matt asked you, you still ignored him. "Are you going to answer me?" He asked again.
"I'm not ignoring you, I just don't know how to talk with you after this." "After you break up with me?" He fix your sentence.
"Yes." You sigh. "Well, think of that as a.. um.." he start thinking of some thing to make you feel better. "Of the first time we met, or you met Chris. I don't know.. I want you to talk with me." He said , made you look at him.
"Matt, you know what the worst thing about exs?" You asked him. "No.." "that they can't talk. Because they still have feelings to each other's." He looked at you when you just told him that.
He felt like.. losing you.. slowly.
"Fine.. whatever you need." He said and looked at the bored again. You felt like you just did the worse thing to him. It's broke you me heart, you want to get the hell out of there.
-
You ran out of the class to the exit and hoped no one would walk after you. "Hey y/n!" Chris ran after you.
"Hey! Where are you going we have math together now and I need copy the whole thing from you." He said. "I think I'm sick.. I'll go home, I'll meet you tomorrow.. love you!" You ran out of the door and get down the stairs.
"Where is she going?" Matt asked Chris when he saw you leaving. "She said she sick." Chris said still looking at the door. "Sick? She looked fine at history.." Matt said and Chris just made some noise. "I don't know man, something is wrong with her.. she needed to go home that's it." Chris said and walked away to class. "Are you coming or what!" He shout at Matt who stand there and looked at the door.
He knew what's going on with you, he knew that you didn't was sick. You were hurt, from Matt. He just knew that it's about him and your relationship with him, so it's burden him.
-
You were at your room and sat on your bed, thinking of life, overthinking of your own life and thinking of Matt, especially at Matt.
You couldn't get him out of your head. You couldn't stop of his smile, at his face, at his lips and his eyes. Your smile was so bright when you thought at him, be he fade when you realised that you gave him up.
"Hey baby!!" Your mom get inside your room. "Hey!" You said, hiding your sadness. "So how my girl doing?" She sat next to you. "Fine!! Yeah totally fine." You told her.
"So why did you skipped the sixth class?" She asked. "Oh I was so sick so I came back home don't be mad.." you told her and she just laughed.
"Oh come on I can't get angry at you! Come on.. you were sick it's fine, I'll tell your teacher that I let you get out early." She said and headed to the door.
"Okay, thank you mom.. I love you." You said to her. "I love you too, honey!" She closed the door and you just kept getting back to your mood.
Overthinking.
You heard knock at your window and just looked at the window. "Matt?" You opened the window. "Hey.." Matt got inside your room. "You could use the door.." you told him. "Yeah but your mom would ask you a lot of questions and me too, and it's will be so awkward to be at my ex girlfriend house after we broke up.." he said.
"My mom don't know we broke up.." you told him and hold your hand. "Oh.." he just took a deep breath before saying something. "It's Cool."
Even when he thought it's wasn't .
"So if it's so awkward to you to come your ex girlfriend house, what are you doing here Matt?" You asked Matt and put your hands on your chest. "I.. I.. Chris told me that you didn't felt good today." Matt replied to you.
"Yeah I am not feeling good." You said and get inside your bed. "Come on don't lie to me y/n, you forget that I know you." He said. "No, I'm good, just sick." You put the blanket on you.
"A lie. When you're sick you sleeping a lot and getting hot as fuck." He said, he knew. He always were with you when you felt sick.
"Hey.. what's up? Tell me.." he sat on the edge of the bed. "Matt, you can't come to my house after we broke up. It's not working like that." You shout. "Why not? It's my fault?" He asked. "What?" You asked him.
"Is that my fault?" He asked again. "Of course not!" You said. "So?" He looked at you. "So?" You repeat hai words.
"Y/n, you ignore me for days, telling me that you not ready to be in a relationship after almost half of year that we were together. You telling me 'exs not supposed to talk.' But still being close to me." He just told his point of view.
"Matt.. I.." "no. Tell me why, why are we can't be together, because I want you." He said, you heard his voice getting a little bit too hurt. "I just don't think I'm ready for this." "Oh stop lying! It's my fault right?" Matt shouts from sadness.
"No! Matt! Never!" You said. "So? Why?" He shout again, begging for answers. "I just afraid to hurt you." You said. "Hurt me?" He asked again. You nodded at him. "I just Afraid that you will get hurt because of me. Because I can't let it happen." "Why would you think that.." Matt asked.
"Because every person I loved left me, because I hurt him, I ran away when it's felt so right, I was too scared to lose them or doing something wrong.. I don't know. Maybe I'm not supposed to be loved." You told him. "You know how you'll hurt me?" His voice sounded like he going to cry.
"If you'll leave me. Then you'll broke me." His eyes were filled with tears. "Oh Matt." You get up to hug him. "You'll broke me if you'll walk away, I need you." He said and you hugged him. "I'm sorry if it's my fault.." he whispered.
"No, Matt look at me." You said. "It's never were your fault, okay? Never." You grabbed his face in your hands. "So please don't run always." He said.
"I won't." You wipe away his tears. "I'll never leave you." You try to clam him down, even when you knew it's won't be easy. "I love you.." he took a deep breath before saying that.
You were shocked from Matt , you never heard him talk about it, telling you that he loves you. "I love you .. more then you'll ever know." He adds.
He hoped that you'll say something bad, something nice, something that will make him happy and that he will be able to reply.
"I love you too." You said on his shoulder and he just looked at you, it took a second before Matt kissed you again, before you felt the warmth of his lips. He just felt it in his chest, the feeling he felt when he was with you again.
"You want to stay over?" You pulled back. "Can I?" He asked and smiled. "I'll love too." You told him and he just climbed into the bed and put the blanket on his chest. "Wow it's was fast." You told him and join him.
You watch some movies and just sat on his arms for hours, it's was already 1am. "Honey!! Jeez! You scared the shit out of me! What are you doing here Matt?" Your mom got inside the room.
"He came to visit!" You said. "He didn't came from the door?" She asked. "Sorry." He whispered. "Did you used the window again? I told you something about this y/n!" Your mom shout at you and Matt. "It's was one things thing I promise miss l/n." Matt said and you looked at him.
"So are you going to stay?" She asked. "Yeah.." he said . "Your daughter asked for, I'm just doing." He laughed. "Yeah.. we'll I hope my daughter won't ask from you take off your clothes." She said before leaving the room. "Ew mom no!!" You said.
"I wanna see you with clothes tomorrow morning!" She shout at you and Matt laughing.
"Mom stop doing some weird shit!" "I just don't want you to have a things with a boy!" She shouts back and you looked at Matt.
"He's not a boy, he is my boyfriend."