The twins, [Y/N], Stan and Waddles were watching Cash Wheel. Mabel and Waddles are eating Chipackerz.
♦️{No one's POV}♦️
♦️TV.
TV announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, we now return to Cash Wheel! Sponsored by Chipackerz, the chip flavored crackers!"
----
Mabel: "But they taste just like chips!" She says and eats a cracker.
♦️TV.
A Contestant spins the wheel and it lands on 'cash shower'.
TV Announcer: "Congratulations! You're taking a......"
{Stan}/TV Announcer: "...Cash shower!"
Money starts falling down on the man in the middle. When the other two contestants try to take some money, he slaps and punches them away.
----
Stan: "I like that guy's style."
Soos: "Mr. Pines! We got tourists at 9 o'clock! A whole busload of 'em!"
A bus from outside pulls up and tourists start to get out.
Stan: "Holy shit and hot tamales, it's a jackpot! Soos! Make some new attractions!"
[Y/N]: "The fuck... 'holy shit and hot tamales'...?" He muttered under his breath.
Soos: "You got it, boss!" He then glues a wolf head onto a chicken.
Stan: "Wendy! Mark up those prices! The higher the better!"
The said red head puts a 0 behind a $2 price tag, making it $20.
Stan: "Higher! Bleed 'em dry!"
She then puts another 0 making it $200.
Dipper: "Eesh, Grunkle Stan. It's like when you see tourists, all you see are wallets with legs."
[Y/N]: "He definitely does."
Stan: "That's not true."
Stan looks out the window and sees a family as wallets with legs throw his eyes.
Stan: "Clean-up on the front lawn!" He said to Dipper.
Dipper grumbled, picking up a bucket of water and a mop and heads outside as well.
❌timeskip❌
{Mystery Shack}
A boy puts a penny inside a penny press. A small card that says 'Thanks for the penny! -Stan' comes out. The boy sighs in disappointment.
Stan is now leading a tour around the Mystery Shack along with [Y/N], who was slapping the tourists hands to make sure they didn't touch the attractions or any valuable items.
Also pit-pocketing them as well.
Stan: "Ladies and gentle-tourists! Looking around my Mystery Shack, you will see many wondrous roadside attractions. Be amazed at the only known photo of a horse riding another horse!"
He pointed to a picture of a horse riding another horse, and many tourists take pictures and mutter, interested.
Stan: "That's--That's pretty good!" He nervously said as the tourists take pictures.
One of the little boys from the tourist group walked up the the picture and tried to touch it, but [Y/N] quickly slapped his hand and pushed him back with the other group of tourists.
Stan: "Be astounded at the horrible, pre-teen wolf boy!"
He pulls a curtain revealing Dipper with hair glued to his legs and fake wolf ears and teeth.
Stan: "Oh! Oh, look at him! All that hair! His body's changing, ah!" He said in a somewhat disgusted tone while [Y/N] laughed hysterically.
Let's just say Dipper wasn't very happy about this and felt very enraged and humiliated. Then, Dipper took off his fake wolf teeth.
Dipper: "Grunkle Stan, this is demeaning. I hate doing this shit..." He scowled.
Stan: "What? I don't know 'de meaning' of that word!" He and the tourists laughed at his joke.
Stan: "If you throw money at him, he dances."
The tourists cheer and began to throw money at Dipper as he just stood there with his arms crossed while Stan catches money with a jar and [Y/N] takes a few bucks for himself.
Stan: "Hahaha! Ooh! Thank you!"
[Y/N]: "Fucking dance for us Dipshit!" He laughed as he threw some of the money he stole from one of the kid tourists at Dipper.
Dipper: "Fuck off!" He yelled as he flipped [Y/N] off.
[Y/N]: "I'll gladly refuse to not do so!" He says as he flipped Dipper off.
Not long after, both the boys began to throw fists at one another and fight as if it were a death match.
♦️{Mabel's POV}
I was in the gift shop selling bumper stickers to costumers.
Mabel: "Behold! Mystery Shack bumper stickers! You can stick 'em on your bumper or over your husband's mouth so he can shut the fuck up. Am I right, ladies? She knows what I'm talking about!"
Woman: "Oh! You are bad! How much?"
Mabel: "Hmmm, let's make it 20 bucks."
Woman: "That's outrageous for something that small! I demand to have the price lowered."
Mabel: "And I demand you to pay in full cash! What's wrong? To broke to pay? How dare you even step foot in this store and argue with me if you're not going to pay! I'll get my hitman to deal with you if you leave without buying!" She threatened the woman, absolutely scaring them.
Woman: "Okay! Here you go thanks for the bumper sticker... haha..." She nervously smiled as she paid Mabel.
Mabel: "Thank you for visiting! Come again soon!" She happily said with a sudden change in demeanor.
The woman immediately left.
Stan: "What!?" He appeared behind a cardboard cutout of himself and seemed to be to be baffled.
Stan: "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
Mabel: "Business! Ching! Also, I think you should allow for waaay more creativity and expression among your employees." I pressed a button on the cash register.
Stan: "Listen, kid. You don't make money by threatening and scaring customers away. Also, if allowed my employees to do whatever they want, all hell would break loose. Also also, you're off of register duty!"
Mabel: "But--"
Stan: "No buts except for yours out the door. Now shut your yap and get to work!"
Mabel: "Grunkle Stan, whatever happened to 'violence' and 'brute force'? Oh wait. Here they are!"
I take out a bag of stickers and put two stickers that say 'violence' and 'brute force' on Stan's face.
Mabel: "Now that's some perfect shit!"
Stan: "Ugh. 'brute force' will eventually bring in no money, kid..." He said as he puts the 'brute force' sticker on the back of the cash register.
Grunkle Stan slaps the 'violence' sticker on Soos' back as he sweeps by. Soon after that, Dipper and [Y/N] come in.
Dipper: "Grunkle Stan, why do I have to wear this shit costume? I think I'm getting hookworm..."
[Y/N] and Grunkle Stan laugh at my brother.
Stan: "Yep. Gluing dog hair to your body will do that."
Dipper: "You've got all these shittt, fake exhibits in the Shack. Meanwhile, I've seen actual, amazing things in the forest every day! What if you hunted down a real attraction instead of lying to people for a living?"
Mabel: "And you should allow your employees creative freedom, too!"
Dipper: "Yeah!" He agreed and high-fived me.
Stan: "Look, you guys got a problem with how I run the Shack, take it up with the complaints department." He said as he holds up a trash can.
Stan: "... haha, zing!"
Mabel: "I am going to write them such a letter!" I start writing a letter while covering what I'm writing with my arm.
❌timeskip❌
{Mystery Shack}
♦️{No one's POV}♦️
The Mystery trio, Wendy and Soos painting the Mystery Shack sign a glittery pink.
[Y/N]: "This is my fucking nightmare......" He muttered as looked over at the Mystery Shack.
Stan: "And don't stop 'till you've covered that sign with glitter! Glittery signs attract tourists! Also large birds."
A bald eagle attacks Soos and he tries to run away from it.
Stan: "Haha! That's funny."
[Y/N]: "Heha! Yeah."
Dipper: "Okay, is it just me or is having Grunkle Stan as a boss fucking bullshit?"
Wendy: "I know, right? Why do we even put up with his shit?"
[Y/N]: "We should riot about this honestly. It would be entertaining."
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✖️Extra✖️
Dipper: "Y'know you shouldn't stay up so late. You get even more fucking insan--"
[Y/N]: "Time is an illusion... nothing matters... god is fucking dead......"
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