XAVIER ROCKWELL
When I got home, I had this pre-existing thought that it was already the end of the emotionally draining day that I've had. I'm finally having a moment to lie down and let my thoughts run through my already stressed out head. However, I was instantly vexed when I learned that I still have to fucking deal with my mother and her new boyfriend. Apparently, my mom thinks she could just bring a new guy home just because Hector's gone. I haven't seen the guy quite yet because they locked up the single bedroom that we share as if they were teenagers doing something unimaginable.
I was pretty sure the guy inside the room wasn't Dondozzo mostly because of the deep baritone voice. Dondozzo's voice doesn't really sound like that and I know that for a fact because I loathed his voice when he's singing.
I ended up spending the night on the couch and when I woke up the following morning, I saw a youthful chocolate-skinned guy coming out fresh from the shower. Not even I can't imagine the shock painted on my face.
"Who the fuck are you?" I asked slowly adjusting from my banging headache. I haven't seen a new face in this shitty apartment in a very long while. I'm intrigued and truly quite surprised that this guy chose to stay the night with how spacious this place looked.
"Who the fuck are you?" He volleyed the question back to me which I thought was slightly rude when paired with his scrunched facial expression.
"I-I live here."
"I know that." He uttered, this time grinning. "Also, your mom's way too hot for a screamer." He added and that just made me feel exceedingly ashamed.
I'm not ashamed of the fact that my mom screams like a hungry hatchling when having sexual intercourse. I just think it's exceedingly irritating but I'm ashamed that she just brought home and hooked up with a guy who's most definitely a decade younger than her.
"Hey, Jackson! Do you think I still look good in this jeans?" My mom suddenly showed up from the bedroom wearing such an outfit that she hasn't worn in like ten years.
"Jesus, mom!" I slapped my forehead with my palm. She's wearing a maroon spaghetti strap that doesn't even look like one. It was the kind of strap that only covered a very little portion of her chest and it was also part crop top because her belly button was definitely out in the sun. I would say it's a bit in decent for her age. It's like she's trying so hard to be youthful and sexy again like she always used to.
"Oh hey, son! Good morning." My mom greeted with a blooming smile which was fun to see from her but then I hated that she even called me son right in front of this young guy who she just fucked.
"Shit, you 'bout to catch a flight?" The guy named Jackson asked when he saw my mom in this tight jeans.
"Huh?" My mom appeared to be confused.
"Cause that apple bottom makes me wanna take a bite!!"
"Oh, you silly, silly boy." My mother, a woman in her forty's jumped on the guy who physically looked like he's just five years older than me. Is my mom even okay? I know she still got those pot smokes in her head, maybe some coke powders too but that Jackson guy could be her son.
"Hehe, you look hot in it."
"Oh, do I?"
"Yes ma'am. And I'm really getting firm downstairs that I could just pick you up right now and slam you against that wall." Jackson went on and things are just really escalating to a higher degree of awkwardness with my presence in the room.
"Please stop, young man. You just had a piece of that cake and now you want to take another bite? Don't be greedy."
They both shared a couple moments kissing and pinching each other like they're a sweet couple. I got even bothered by what's happening that I just walked out of the place without paying so much attention towards them. I heard my mom call out for my attention but I don't even want to have an extended conversation with her anymore. I'm over her.
No matter how I want to scream out loud in this bird cage, I just feel like I'm a hopeless little broken-winged songbird and Mariah fucking Carey just stole the key.
Just when I was slowly starting to get my real mom back even just for this few months, there she goes and does a thing that's rudely inappropriate. I ended up taking a long walk and it was truly a long walk because I don't have any fucking idea where my destination would be. I'm having a bad, perhaps even a horrible hangover and the heat of the sun was slowly killing me.
I just walked and walked and walked not really having a real destination. And it really sucks and frustrating that I'm heartbroken and a mess. I spent all of my cash yesterday and I'm basically broke as fuck that even if I want to buy something cold to relieve the drought inside my throat, I just don't have any other option but to swallow my own fucking saliva.
After walking like a lost ghost for over an hour, I decided that I have to go back home. My mom and her younger lover are probably gone by now. I'm hoping that's true because I'm not mentally stable to even deal with their crap. I don't know if they're going on a date or something, but who gives a single crap about it.
When I got home, I felt slightly better to find that my mom and her stupid hook up are gone. I went straight to the fridge and I saw nothing. Everything was just either rotting or moldy and there's not even a single thing that's good for a fucking hangover.
I ended up drinking a warm tap water just to bring a very little amount of help for my thirst. I walked straight inside our bedroom and it fucking stinks of pot, sweat and jizz. I even noticed my own bed was ruffled and it added another stinking smell of frustration.
I walked out of the room to take a deep breath and I suddenly remembered about my hidden stash. I probably have a couple bucks left in there because I was really saving it for a rainy day. Today was a rainy day, perhaps it more like a stormy day for me. I have a lot of things going on and I can't even begin to process every single shit.
I walked back inside the bedroom and pushed this little cabinet, there I saw the piece of glossy paper with two naked Japanese woman in it that I ripped from the magazine that used to be my best friend every night that I was alone. I taped the piece of paper to the wall to cover up the hole.
When I unclasped the tape, I was quickly horrified to see the hole was dusty and empty. My money was gone and I'm about to fucking lose it.
"FUCKING SHIT!" I cursed out stomping my feet on the floor. "Get grip, man!" I tried to calm myself but it didn't work and I ended up punching the wall adding another vein of crack. I thought that was going to be just one single punch but then I followed it up with two more punches and another kick.
That's just fifty bucks but I could definitely buy an ice-cold cola with that shit. That would've easily washed the dryness out of my throat but it's gone. Someone robbed me and I don't even know if it was my mom or if it was Hector. I know it wasn't me because I'm really trying my very best not to spend it.
I sat at the very edge of the lower bunk and the look on my face must be a mixture of frustration, loneliness and hopelessness. Maybe throw in hunger and thirst with that too if you describe them with facial expression.
I heard my stomach as it began to growl as if there's a tiger living inside it. I brought myself to the kitchen and I was thinking of finding something eat. I only saw a box of pizza from the cheapest and nastiest pizza place in the city. I wasn't really expecting anything which immediately came into fruition when I opened the box. There's just a tiny long piece of crust left.
"Shit! This life fucking sucks!" I whispered to myself gritting with mixed feelings of annoyance and rage.
Another growl came from my stomach and I knew then that I don't have any other choice but to eat the nasty bitten off crust. I pity myself for having to swallow that cold hard crust and I even picked the little toppings that were scattered on the ceiling part of the box.
I'm gradually graduating with a degree in desperation right now. I haven't eaten dinner last night because I was having alcohol and sorrow instead and now I'm fucking hungry that I could eat three meals in a single seating.
I had this thought in my head and I know I said I wouldn't do it ever again but I'm hanging by a thread here. I'm left with my last resort right now. I have to rob a store or something like that. Having to die out of starvation and dehydration's not really an option here because I know I'm a fighter and I'm going to survive this battle.
I grabbed a black hoodie and then eventually stormed out of the room. I used to know this one store downtown owned by an old Chinese widower who's already hard of hearing. I used to rob that store back when I was younger, when my mom was still freshly shattered and was emotionally unstable to even look out for me. I never got caught mostly because the owner doesn't like the idea of installing surveillance cameras around the place.
When I got to the store, the owner, Mr. Huang was busy reading a newspaper and I was pretty confident that he never noticed me enter the establishment. I stole a liter bottle of cola, two packs of frozen dumplings and a big bag of Cheetos. I was pretty much happy that I got out of the establishment without the old guy noticing I was even there in the first place. I walked in with nothing and I walked out with something.
I quickly got back to our apartment and instantly threw the frozen dumplings into a steamy pot. I sat down for a while and snatched the bottle of cola which felt soothingly cold to the touch. The acid drifted out of the freshly opened bottle creating such a comforting hissing sound and as I gulped through the bottle, I felt like my dry throat was slowly being washed. It was damn good, felt like a life changing second and for a short moment there, I forgot all of my problems. The feeling of finally drinking an ice-cold liquid to help ease the hangover slowly brought me back to life.