I was prepared for all of it. The contract signing, the press release, the photo-shootings, the few shows... But there was no way I could be prepared for this...
The morning emptiness and the night loneliness...
The nights were the worst. I wasn't able to sleep. And, when I did, I'd wake up in the middle of the night with my face cover in a mixture of sweat and tears. I felt cold but my body expressed otherwise.
I missed him. I never thought it could be this hard. And the fact that my second episode aired didn't made it easier. The episode were we finally gave up to our deepest desires and threw professionalism out the window.
Come to think of it all, I've changed so much sense Ian came into my life. Back then, I would never-
"Veronica?" Alex brought me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah sure...that sounds good..." I said trying to make it look like I was paying attention.
"We haven't done anything..." Said Alex. "Are you here today?"
"Let's leave it." Roy intervened. "She's writing again. That's good." He said.
I didn't even realized my hand was moving on the note book laying on my knees. Since I was sitting down on the couch from the studio area at my aunts bar crumbled up like a piece of paper. One of the reasons why I convinced her to buy the place was for the incredible amount of space backstage. We had everything here: launch room, studio, a stage to practice, and a place to hang and keep the instruments.
The guys carried on with whatever their conversation was about and I looked over at the notebook. The page was almost filled with words. Lyrics.
When I was younger I was certain
that I'd be fine without a king.
Just a queen inside her castle
with an ocean in between
Now all I do is sit
and count the miles from you to me.
Oh, calamity
I've changed so much sense then. Without hesitation, I kept writing.
We get older by the hour.
Watch the changes from afar.
Keep forgetting to remember
where we've been is who we are.
Now all I do is wonder
why we ever set the scene.
Oh, calamity
It's such a shame that we play strangers.
No act to change what we've become.
Damn, it's such a shame that we've built a wreck out of me
Oh, calamity
Oh, calamity
Flashes from last night and this morning came rushing through me as I kept writing.
I'll remember nights alone
and waking up to dial tones.
Always found my greatest moments
in the sound of your hello's.
Now I struggle to recall
the reasons you would come to leave.
Oh, calamity
It's such a shame that we play strangers.
No act to change what we've become.
Damn, it's such a shame that we've built a wreck out of me.
Oh, calamity
Oh, calamity
The distance was so hard to deal with, I couldn't help myself but to lay my thoughts to rest onto the paper.
If I catch you on the corner,
will you even know it's me?
Will I look familiar to you?
Do you offer me a seat?
Can we find a new beginning?
Do you turn the other cheek?
Oh, calamity
It's such a shame that we play strangers.
No act to change what we've become.
Damn, it's such a shame that we play strangers.
No act to change what we've become.
Damn, it's such a shame that we've built a wreck out of me.
Oh, calamity
Oh, calamity
Oh, calamity
Come back to me.
Now, with my thoughts plastered on paper, I could carry one with the day normally.
"Guys, I was thinking last night." Said Alex. "And I came up with this." She announced before clearing her throat and speaking the lyrics. "Don't you go and carry on with your life. It was a one night stand 'till I woke up next to you."
One night stand?! If she wrote it, it means she took a life experience and based the lyrics on it. Just like I did a second ago. My eyes widen in realization as she continued.
"Don't you go saying all your goodbyes. I want a one night stand just one more time with you. So give me one more night with you." She finished and looked around for everyone's approval, which she got. Then all looks were on me, telling me to take that idea and turn it into a song. I felt on the spot immediately, but I sucked it up and made up a verse right there on the spot.
"Settle back now and raise a toast.
To the young ones, growing old.
All the green lights, long nights
Drinking 'til I made out with you." I sung. They seemed to be liking it, so I kept going. "Just sit back, enjoy the show. It's the weekend, no place to go.
You're the cherry on my cigarette,
Chasing after midnight with you."
"Bring it down for the pre-chorus." Roy said. So I brought my speed down and simply said the first thing that came to mind.
"Don't shut me down now, Just hear me out now." I sung. Then I looked at Alex to see her expression once I started singing her lyrics. "Don't you go and carry on with your life
It was a one night stand 'til I woke up next to you." Her smile shone and that encouraged me to keep going. "Don't you go, saying all your goodbyes. I want a one night stand just one more time with you. So give me one more night with you."
"Second verse. Go!" Said Daisy. I took a breath without loosing the tempo I've already stablished and kept going.
"So take a breath now, you don't have to go. It was a fast night, we can take it slow. There were fist fights, red lights. Running 'til I crashed into you." Alex joined me and added some harmonizing that really pumped up the song. By now, I was lost in the vision of what this song could sound like with instruments. "I got my ass kicked, but you held the ice. I was a train wreck, but you took the ride. We can stay here, right here. Nothing else that I wanna do" I repeated the pre-chorus and the chorus before Mark spoke up.
"And the bridge?"
I thought for two seconds, then I started singing.
"You say I push my luck. But I can't get enough. If it was just a one time thing, why are you still here with me? Don't want a single thing to change." I got stuck but Alex jumped in.
"We can mess around for two more days" She sung. She blushed under my wide eyes look as I kept singing.
"If it was just a one time thing, why are you still here with me?" I sung and Alex jumped in again.
"I don't want you to leave."
With that, I repeated the chorus again and then I took half of the bridge and half of the chorus, and put them together. When I finished, I looked around to my band mates. Their faces reflected how satisfied they were and I knew immediately, that song was going to be something.
-x-
An hour later, we were still working on that song. Daisy and Alex were coming up with the guitars and Mark was making the beat while Roy accentuated everything with some bass. It sounded great, so we went outside to the stage to practice it. The bar was empty sense its best hours were at night, so it wouldn't be a problem.
By the second time we played it, it sounded perfect. I even learned the chords Daisy and Alex were using just by hearing. When we finished playing the song for a third time, there was mad clapping and two familiar voices could be heard cheering their lungs out.
In a second, Alex and I were running towards Ian and Paul. Alex kissed Paul straight in the mouth while I jumped onto Ian's open arms and wrapped my legs around his waist while he spun around. He kissed my forehead once I was back on the ground, but his arms never let me go.
Alex and I switched so I could greet Paul with a tight hug and Alex embraced in a hug with Ian as well.
Paul started chanting 'One More Song' and Ian joined him so Alex and I made our way to the stage again as they went to the closest table and watched us play.