Warnings: Mature Language, Alcohol, Underaged Drinking, Affairs, Cheating, Slut Shaming, Crying, Eating Disorders, Lime, Manipulation, Male Validation hinted, Sociopathic Behaviour, Threats, Drugs, Anorexia, Sexual References.
I went a bit overboard with this chapter length so enjoy! As of the moment it isn't edited so excuse any mistakes :)
𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝-𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤...𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤...𝐆𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐞~𝐈'𝐦 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐨𝐥-𝐒𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐬
𝘼𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙧 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙣𝙙, 𝙄'𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖 𝙛𝙚𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙄'𝙫𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙛𝙪𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙣. 𝙂𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙥 𝙂𝙞𝙧𝙡'𝙨 𝙂𝙪𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙧 𝙁𝙪𝙣 𝙏𝙞𝙥 𝙣𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙣𝙚: 𝘿𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙟𝙤𝙗. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙪𝙥𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙬𝙠𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙪𝙥 𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙪𝙥.
𝐌𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 to the strong rays of the sun, an arm was wrapped around me as my hand was on his bare chest. I looked over to Dan, his eyes somehow shut despite the bright sun. I was shocked by how good Dan was in bed and how attentive he was. "Hi." He whispered out to me as I looked up to him, "Hey." I whispered back. "So, uh..." Dan trailed off slightly, "Dan, if you're worried about Serena finding out- she won't." I promised him, taking his blazer and wrapping it around my bare shoulders, I found myself in my black laced bra with a matching black laced thong. "That's not what I was worried about." He admitted, sitting up and looking to me.
"Oh?" I questioned with a slightly raised brow. "I was going to just say I enjoyed last night." Dan explained as I smiled leaning closer towards him, "Me too." I admitted quietly, brushing my lips against his. Dan returned the kiss, gently, tenderly. I lifted his chin, "Thanks for bringing me joy to my gloomed day Humphrey." I smiled to him, pecking his lips before his phone buzzed. We both turned to look to it.
SERENA (2 MISSED CALLS)
INCOMING CALL: SERENA
A slither of guilt rushed through me, "Answer it, it might be important for you." I stated softly with a smile. "Are you sure?" He whispered to me, "Dan, just chill the fuck out. I'll be quiet, she won't know I'm here." I promised him as he took the call. I scrolled through my phone to see Gossip Girl had posted.
𝙎𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙙: 𝙇𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝘽𝙤𝙮 𝙨𝙣𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙞𝙨, 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙝𝙚? 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙎?
"I'll see you in the city Serena, we can talk properly then. I miss you too but when you didn't show up it, well, it didn't feel great." Dan told my best friend. "No I know, but it's just gossip. I'll meet you back in the city, I promise. Bye." He hung up the phone. "What did she say? Have you seen Gossip Girl?" I questioned him, slightly frantically.
"She just apologised for not coming to see me and said she saw Gossip Girl, I told her it was nothing. Which this is... right?" Dan asked softly as I threw his blazer off and stepped into my dress. I pulled Dan's blazer over me, "Right. Of course, I mean it'd be social suicide for both of us wouldn't it really? If your little weird friend knew you slept with a rich bitch... Well you'd sure get it huh?" I teased as he stood up with me. "Do you uh, want me to walk you home or to a cab?" He asked gently, I stroked his cheek.
"Oh Humphrey, I wish every guy was as kind as you." I whispered out, a small smile on my lips. "You're not so bad yourself." He smiled. "I'll get Andre to come pick me up, don't worry." I promised him before walking away.
✯✯✯
𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐭 shower and a change of clothes I decided to meet Edward at the park. He wished to explain himself, I thought if his explanation was believable maybe we could use each other for our own gain. "I'm glad you wanted to see me." Edward spoke to me, sitting next to me on the bench. "Well, I suppose I'm glad you didn't go back to Germany. I invited you to meet me because I want the truth." I admitted sternly. "I'm sorry I lied to you, I just, I really found you fascinating. I often go under fake name for business and I carried that over and use it with you. I-" He went to carry on.
"Just stop a second." I sternly told him. "You still need to get to Bass don't you? Well, I'll help you ruin him, if you do the same for me. I'm talking you being my plus one to events and in return I'll help you with business... I can distract Chuck when his father really needs him and then you get the advantage you need." I smirked to him, he returned the gesture. "It sounds a plan." He smiled. "How about we discuss some key details over lunch?" I offered as he smiled, "Certainly."
"And your wife? What does she know?" I asked as we went towards his car. "I told her I was dealing with business, that okay?" He replied, I simply nodded allowing him to open the door for me.
✯✯✯
"𝐁, 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠? 𝐈'𝐦 in the middle of something." I asked her softly, standing up from the restaurant and walking outside to take her call. "I'm making a complete fool of myself in front of Lord Marcus." She complained softly to me, I lit up a cigarette. "Is Lord Marcus the same guy you was with last night? I thought he was American." I asked her gently, puffing on my cigarette. "He's secretly a Lord, he told me all about it last night. Ugh, I think I'm in love with him." My twin swooned as I snorted a little.
"B, I think love is a little strong, you've hardly known the guy. But I must say, his Lord status is admirable. Speaking of lovers lying, it turns out that Edward works for the German Chancellor." I explained as she gasped. "One situation at a time! Right, what do I do?" She asked in a panic. "I think you need to breathe Blair, you know you're worth. You have to be yourself, I promise you that if you do that all will be fine." I assured my twin. "You're right, oh you always are." She sighed, I felt her feel a lot more relaxed now.
"Where were you last night? I was hoping for us to put on face masks and watch Breakfast at Tiffany's yet I saw no sign of you." Blair asked me, don't tell her the truth. "Uh, I was with Nate. Nothing like what you're thinking, we just talked and he let me crash." I explained to her. "Oh right, well, I'll talk to you later. Love you." She told me. "Love you too." I smiled hanging up.
To Natey: If B asks plz cover 4 me and tell her I was w u last night. x
Natey: Ofc, cover 4 me 2 if S asks? x
To Natey: I got you, but I need details later! Ttyl x
Natey: If you must, ttyl Ally x
Unknown Number: I know what you did with Dan. Better watch out before u lose all ur friends.
I sighed, ignoring the message, walking back into the restaurant to see Edward and Chuck talking. "And that's me." He told Edward, handing him his personal number. "Fantastic, I'll call you." Edward smiled, I sauntered over the the pair. "Chuck, what are you doing in my chair?" I asked through gritted teeth. "Ah, darling, we've got a date to play squash at Bart's club. Isn't it fantastic?" Ed asked me in his British accent, a gleam in his eyes- he was planning something. "Fabulous." I faked a smile, if he met with Chuck he could know far too many of my secrets.
"Charles, sidebar." I ordered sternly as he smirked to me, "Well, actually we weren't quite finished." His voice smothered in faux politeness, I gripped onto his shoulder. "Notice how my voice didn't go up at the end? It wasn't a question." I faked a smile once more, he let out an airy laugh as I returned it. "Isn't he just so stupid?" I laughed out, dragging him away from Edward.
"Squash? I'll fucking squash you." I cheerfully sneered to him, leading him away. "It's just a game, Alex." Chuck simply told me. "It's not to me Basshole, I like him." I lied, part of me wondered if this arrangement was even going to follow through. "And I want to like him, I admire his business strategies." Chuck smirked to me. "You've ruined enough for me these past view days, so you know what? I might just come to squash with you." I hissed to him as he scoffed, "Alex, please, you and I both know you won't be. Relax, it's not like either of us are hiding something... is it?" He taunted me. I shoved him out of the way, he turned around to me and winked before leaving.
I walked back towards Edward, "Please have your wits about you around Bass." I pleaded gently. "I always do." He replied in his thick German accent. "You know, I quite like your accent." I smiled pressing a small kiss onto his lips. "Ja? I'll keep that in mind. Don't worry about squash game, I got a plan. I will crack him before he crack me.." He promised me, brushing his thumb against my cheek. "I hope to see you in the city, call me?" I asked him softly, my anger quickly vanished as I looked into his eyes. His shimmering eyes were soft, it proves he means the words he says... Right?
"Trust me, I will." Ed smiled pressing a gentle kiss on my lips. I returned the gesture, "Your wife... Does she- does she know you're with me?" I whispered in his ear. "No, but she knows I've taken a liking to someone half my age... Alex, don't worry darling. Trust me, everything be okay." Edward assured me pressing a kiss onto my forehead. "See you around." I nodded to him walking towards my car.
✯✯✯
𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 things as Blair told me all of what had been going on with Lord Marcus. "Gosh B, it really does sound like you've found a really nice guy." I smiled to my sister. "I know, isn't it wonderful? I can't wait to prove to Anthony that he doesn't mean the world to me and that Marcus does." She smiled as my phone buzzed.
Unknown: Surprised you haven't talked to ur bf yet, hows Dan?
Alex: Who is this?
Unknown: Call me Gossip Girl's best friend ;)
Alex: Whats ur aim w all this?
Unknown: You'll see. . . XOXO ;)
Alex: Will u meet me?
Unknown: Not yet, that makes u have it too easy ;)
I sighed quietly, "What's wrong?" She wondered softly as I zipped my case up. "Nothing important." I promised my sister, putting my phone away. "So, you and Nate, is that happening again? Blair asked me, I scoffed looking to her. "No B! He was upset and so was I, he let me crash and we just talked and watched The Sound of Music." I promised her. "Are you sure? I know how much Chuck's hurt you, just like Tony did me. I don't want you do anything stupid." B told me walking towards me.
"I'm fine, Edward's really helping me through my rough patch." I assured her. "What about you? How's everything with Marcus? Is it all as you wished for it to be?" I asked her. "We're perfect. He's taking me back to the city soon, do you want to come with? I've already invited Serena." Blair offered. Serena. I want to see Serena but I can't face her right now, not with someone knowing what I did with Dan.
"Oh, I'd not wanna be a third wheel, I already bought a spot on the Jitney anyway. Hopefully I'll avoid Chuck that way. Shit, look at the time. I'll see you in the city." I smiled, kissing my sisters cheek and then walked out.
✯✯✯
"𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐲, 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 were getting the Jitney earlier." I sighed, arriving at the stop. "I was gonna but uh, Jenny needed me to help her with something." He admitted as I walked to him. "Did you tell her about last night?" I asked quietly. "No, I haven't told anyone, why?" Dan wondered lowly. "Someone knows." I mumbled. "Look, just keep your distance alright, I know I'm hard to resist but..." I teased before the bus arrived. I got on and found the perfect seat... To see Dan get on last and still end up opposite me.
I looked to him, he put his headphones in so I did the same, listening to the Sohodolls as I flicked through a magazine. Cosmopolitan, ah, of course there was advice on breakups. I wonder if there was anything in there about assholes who can't tell you they love you or men who secretly have wives. I looked at my other magazine I'd brought, maybe Dan would like it. I pulled an earphone out, reached over and tapped him on the shoulder. He pulled out his earphone, "What?" He wondered.
"Want my other magazine?" I offered softly, "Hold on, is this Alexandra Waldorf being nice to me? Pinch me, I must be dreaming." Dan teased me. "Fuck you, Humphrey." I rolled my eyes going to take the magazine away from him, Dan reached for the magazine. Our hands brushed together, "Yanno what? I might take it, if that's okay." He asked. "Yeah, I know you like taking it." I taunted quietly, handing him the magazine and quickly taking my hand away. My eyes fixated on him for a moment- when did Dan get so... attractive?
I quickly turned away and looked in my bag for a snack, I was currently craving a chocolate covered strawberries. I usually didn't like to eat but... I was trying my hardest to work on myself. I grabbed a strawberry from my tray and took a large bite of it, I felt eyes on me- Dan. The juice from the strawberries dripped down to my fingers, I licked the juice from my fingers and sucked on it. I turned to Dan, I wanted him... But... Serena.
I stared down at the strawberries and decided I'd had enough, I didn't wanna make myself larger than I am. Bitch. I covered the strawberries back up and put them in my bag. I had to throw up. I stood up on the Jitney and got ready to go to the bathroom when we hit a speed bump and I fell into Dan's lap. His hands were wrapped around my legs, keeping me stable. My gaze dropped to his lips, "Hi." I whispered to him. "Hey." He let out a sheepish chuckle. He moved one of his hands and lifted my chin up, so I met his eyes.
"Thanks... Thanks for the magazine." Dan stumbled over his words, before swallowing. I suddenly realised I was in short denim shorts and a long flowing vest top. I wanted to travel comfy. "No problem." I smiled. "Do you wanna go to the bathroom with me?" I whispered in his ear. "Did Hemingway write From Whom The Bell Tolls?" Dan replied quietly as I chuckled, "Yes.." I bit my lip, hopping off his lap and leading him towards the bathroom. "Close the door." I whispered as he did so.
"It's hot that you knew Hemingway." He husked pressing a lustful kiss against my lips. "Didnt I mention? I'm taking Literature at college." I smirked kissing him back. "Really? Me too..." Dan hummed nibbling on my earlobe. I gazed into his eyes, "Are you sure we should be doing this? I don't wanna come in the way of you and her." I wondered quietly, Dan leant his head against mine. "You're not coming in between anything Alex. We're long gone, but us, I want to keep doing... This." Dan smiled smashing his lips into mine... "Well then, fuck me." I husked...
✯✯✯
"𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫, 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱 home." Dorota called out, as I handed my bags to one of the other servants to put them away, I wished to give Dorota a brief break. Especially since I knew she was planning a party for Blair so that Lord Marcus would like her. If it were me, I'd of told the man my worth and he can either suck it up or get over it. "A, come in here!" B called out. I wrapped my arms around Dorota, "Good to see you Dorota." I hummed. "Good to see you too Miss Alex." She smiled.
"You seem happy." She commented, "Do I? Oh, well I heard today was a good day for my zodiac sign." I lied as she raised a brow yet didn't comment on it. I walked towards B, "I hear you're planning a party." I smirked to her as Serena walked towards us. "A party at Hudson huh?" She smiled. "Since when were you going to have a party? Did you know about this?" S asked us both. "Hey, I had no clue.. I was too busy getting the Jitney home." I shrugged.
"Since it became clear that Marcus does not think I'm worthy of meeting his family. Clearly, I have some more work to do." Blair stated looking through her binder, which was filled with her party ideas. "B, you don't have to do this." S promised her. "Yes I do." She retorted. "No you don't." I refused. "Listen, all you have to do is be yourself. You shouldn't have to pretend you're someone else, you're Blair fucking Waldorf and that means something." I assured her. My phone buzzed, I stepped away from the conversation for a moment to check my messages:
Humphrey: Earlier was great :))
Alex: Wanna make it a regular occurrence? ;)
Humphrey: What would u do if I said no?
Alex: Sweetie, I always get what I want, you should know that by now
Humphrey: Any idea who unknown is?
Alex: Not as of yet, but I'm not threatened. They don't worry me.
"Dan likes soccer right? Or football as Marcus calls it? Do you think it'd be weird to invite him?" Blair asked Serena, my gaze shot up to the pair, fuck. "I mean, I have yet to talk with him. But I'm meeting him in an hour, I can try ask him." S explained. "Great, ask him." B urged. "What about Edward, A, does he know anything about soccer?" Blair wondered. "Uh... Yes, I think so. He mentioned something about supporting Bayern Munich. Want me to ask him to come?" I asked.
"Please! Then at least it doesn't look like the party is full of high schoolers." She pleaded. "Wait, does this mean you think that Dan actually has a redeeming quality?" Serena asked Blair and I. "As long as he knows his arse from his Arsenal, I think he's aces." B smiled. "Well, I suppose if he shows enough kindness to everyone then maybe you'll see a smile on my face." I stated, fuck that was a load of shit. I wanted to say the truth.
"Well, this could be a good opportunity for us to talk, I've been thinking about the breakup." Serena admitted. "What is there to think about?" B and I questioned her in unison. "You're finally free from Downer Dan, and we finally have our old Serena back." Blair smiled. "Just think of what you can both achieve on your own. We need this Serena, remember, the one who used to have fun a whole lot more." I smiled. "But it's worth bringing him, I could use for Edward to have another friend around here... You never know, Dan might actually make friends." I teased as Blair giggled yet Serena rolled her eyes.
"Come on let's go plan!" Blair squealed linking hands with me and S, "B, I need to unpack and figure out a few things before tonight, I'll come help soon. I promise." I assured her, letting them walk away.
I walked upstairs to my room, closed the door behind me and dialled his number. "Hello." Dan's voice spoke. "Sorry to call, but, I need to warn you." I alerted him. "Warn me about what?" He asked as I laid down on my bed with a sigh. "Serena's going to invite you to a party that Blairs arranging, she thinks the two of you are getting back together or could get back together." I explained. "A party?" He questioned. "Wrong thing to focus on Humphrey." I huffed. "Right, sorry." He apologised.
"I mean, do you wanna get back together with her? Because if you do, say the word and we can forget this morning and last night ever happened." I told him sternly. "I miss her yeah, but I don't wanna get back together with her, not right now anyway. I wanted us to talk last night but she went to see Nate and then some guy..." He rambled on. "Dan, what are you trying to say?" I questioned him.
"I want what we have to be a regular thing, if thats uh what you want." He stumbled over his words. I twirled with my hair slightly, "Humphrey, I didn't know you had such devious behaviour in you." I teased with a small chuckle. "I guess you bring it out of me." Dan stated. "Well, I'll see you at the party, hopefully... Later Dan." I smiled. "Bye Alex." He said hanging up.
What the fuck is going on with me?
✯✯✯
"𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 this was meant to be a party." I mumbled, my arm was linked with Edward. "Be nice, your sister want to impress Lord." He replied to me, I looked around, classical music filled my ears and many random people were gathered in groups. "Champagne?" A waiter asked, I snatched two glasses as Edward took one. I gulped down both of them and quickly put them back on the tray. "Get me a bottle of vodka while you're at it." I told him, "Miss Waldorf said-" He tried to say. "Well I'm the other miss Waldorf, if you want an extra fifty dollars for your service, I'd bring me what I want." I snarled before Edward walked me along.
"How'd it go with Chuck?" I asked him quietly as we walked along. "Alright, got him to talk about you and his father. He tell me interesting facts." Edward explained, "Oh, right." I sighed. "Nothing I not already know though. I think your sister wants you." He whispered, assuring me. "Why don't you come with me?" I smiled leading him towards Blair and Marcus. I was just using Edward, in hopes that Chuck would turn up and get upset.
"Ah, Edward! Meet Lord Marcus Beaton, Marcus this is Edward Myres." Blair introduced. "Nice to meet you." They both said shaking hands. I looked over Marcus' shoulder to see Serena talking to Dan... "Marcus, Edward's a huge football fan." I spoke up on Blair's behalf. "Ahh yes, I hear you like football too? What team do you support? Chelsea?" Edward questioned, I squeezed his hand as a thank you.
"Well I like Balenciaga." I joked with a small chuckle before noticing Marcus' awkward expression. Blair quickly drank her drink, "Freshen up darling?" Marcus asked as Blair nodded and the pair walked away. "Fuck, I messing it up for her." I sighed, Edward turned to me. "Darling, something is up with that man." He told me quietly. "Surely not. Could you go see if they've got my vodka yet?" I asked softly, "Ja, I'll be back." He smiled as I turned around to see Chuck with an older woman linked to his arm.
I looked the other way to see Blair trying to handle with Tony and some woman, I huffed and stormed up with Chuck. "What are you doing here?" I scowled slightly to him. "Alex, I thought you'd like to meet my friend." He smirked to me. "Why? So she can warn me about the effects of insane amounts of lip filler and botox?" I snarked, "Here's your vodka dar- Scheiße..." Edward went to say when he stopped and dropped the bottle to the ground.
"Alexandra, is it?" She seethed to me. "Yeah, who's asking?" I snarked back going to get in her face, Edward pulled me back. "Alex, that's my wife." He hissed to me. I freed my arms from his grasp. "Why are you here?" Edward wondered with furrowed brows. "I came to figure out who your little plaything was... I see she not much. Schlampe." She snarled, I flagged to the waiter to get me another bottle of vodka.
"Don't call her-" Edward went to say. "I must be enough because your husband fucked me for two weeks." I sneered, "Now, please excuse me whilst I find something better to do. Such a Suka." I walked along snatching a bottle of vodka from the tray and walking inside.
✯✯✯
𝐈 𝐬𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 side as I drank more vodka, the party suddenly had began to lighten up. I'd tried to keep myself hidden so I'd not embarrass Blair, and so far it'd worked. My phone buzzed once more:
Unknown: Turn around.
I did as the person asked to see Anthony stood there, a smirk on his face, he waved his phone to me. I downed the rest of my vodka, placed it on the ledge and ran after him. He let out a loud chuckle as I backed him into a room. It was just us. "You're so fucking dead Beckett." I seethed shoving him against the wall. "And you're so drunk. What would Mr Sugar Daddy or Lonely Boy say, my oh my.." Tony taunted, he was good at that. "How is it you know almost everything, about everyone but you don't know how to win the woman you loves heart?" I teased him, a smirk on my face.
"I don't think you're in a position to speak of relationships are you? Shagging your best friends ex, maybe you and Chuck are the same." He smirked to me, freeing himself from my grasp. "Why are you such an asshole? What happened to you as a kid huh?" I questioned him with a scowl. "If I were you love, I'd back off. If you want your secret kept that is." He smirked to me. "You hurt my sister, I will get my revenge on you." I warned him. He got in my face. "Oh, I don't think you'll be doing that, princess. I've got proof of you and Danny." Tony grinned.
"You might have won the battle, but trust me, you will not win the war." I warned him sternly, "I'll give you a text, maybe we can do business together." He called out as I flipped him off. "Asshat." I hissed, yet tears were welling in my eyes. "See you around A, we're gonna be the dream team." The sociopath chuckled as I walked away...
✯✯✯
𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 hiding away, despite being a bit drunk I decided to try find the Duchess and help Blair. On my way there I stumbled towards one of the other rooms, the door was slightly open. I peered through the gap of the door to see Edward and Cassandra kissing- his wife. That's when it dawned on me, he was trying to use me for his business and then would toss me aside. A hand grabbed onto me and pulled me away to a separate room, I went to scream, "Kitten...Don't go screaming it's me. Let's go to the kitchen away from everyone." Chuck whispered in my ear, "Okay." I slurred following his lead. Chuck ushered the workers out the kitchen and closed the door behind him.
"You were lying weren't you? About Edward? You were using him the entire time to make me feel guilt! And you know what? It fucking worked." Chuck snarled to me as I smirked, "Good, it's one of my first victories." I smugly stated. "Then why does it look like we both lost?" Chuck asked me quietly in my ear. "How'd you work that one out?" I retorted quietly. "You lied about your old boyfriend to try make me... bitter. And I tried to clock you on it and ruin everything around you, but they still ended up being happy." Chuck explained as I sighed. I sat down on the couch.
"Then why can't we?" I croaked out looking up to Chuck, he looked down at me, his cocky facade quickly fell. "We can be Alex." He whispered sitting next to me. "We can't, you're gonna leave me again and you're not ready to tell me what I want to hear." I slightly drunkenly told him. Chuck's lips parted as he went to speak once more, "You hurt me, what makes you think you deserve me?" I taunted, getting in his face. "I'm Chuck Bass." He retorted, I scoffed lifting his chin up.
"What makes you think that's enough? You realise I could have any man or woman I wanted, yet something in me chose you... Maybe, you're not enough anymore." I teased, stroking his face. "Liar, liar, pants on fire." He whispered in my ear. "I know you feel it, you're just desperate to be a whore in attempts to make me jealous. But, you're gonna be the one whose flat on her face..." Chuck told me sternly as I chuckled, "I've already had one victory baby, just you wait." I teased getting in his face, our lips were inches away from one another. I felt Chuck go to lean forward so I leaned back, "Victories start small." I teased with a slur, Chuck linked his hand with mine.
"God I hate you Waldorf." He hissed nibbling at my hand. "Mmm, the feelings mutual Bass." I hummed freeing my hand. "I'll see you around, asshole." I smirked walking away.
✯✯✯
𝐋𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐢𝐫 as Blair, Serena, Nate, Dan and I walked into my sister and mines penthouse. Us three girls intended to have a sleepover, however Nate didn't wanna be alone and Serena insisted that Dan joined us. Drugs, alcohol, laughter. It was the perfect night. Yet now Nate and Dan had gone to bed, leaving Serena, Blair and I laying down in Blair's room listening to music and dancing. "Let's watch Breakfast at Tiffany's!" Blair cheered as we snorted. "Soon, B, soon! I'm gonna go find Dorota so we can get some water. I might get my nightwear on too." S smiled. "Mm same! Because we need to sober up." I laughed. "I'll go get some water, don't worry. Just focus on getting the movies ready." I smiled, dancing downstairs to the kitchen.
"I thought you put me in rapture." I started to sing to the Sohodolls before looking up to see Dan stood there with a glass of water in his hand. I let out a gasp, "Sorry, I didn't think anyone would be down here." I apologised quietly. "No, uh, I'm sorry. I should've just gone back to the loft." He sighed, sipping on his water. "I'm glad you're here." I mumbled. "Water?" Dan offered as I nodded. "I'm guessing you're down here because Nate snores, am I right?" I smirked as he let out a quiet chuckle.
"How could you sleep next to him? He's so loud." Dan rolled his eyes as I chuckled, "Take the spare bedroom, it's next to mine. I'm sure Nate will love the extra room of the main guest bedroom anyway." I offered as Dan handed me a glass of water. I sat on the counter opposite him. "So, what did you and Serena talk about?" I asked innocently, sipping on my water. "What? Are you jealous?" Dan teased as I snorted, "You wish Humphrey. I care about my best friend." I told him. "Oh yeah, you care about her so much." He joked as I scoffed. "That's not fair." I pointed out to him.
"We talked about Georgina, we-we told each other that we loved each other but I told her I don't know whether we can be together- not just yet. Like you and Chuck right?" Dan asked me, as I scoffed. I placed my water down as did he. "I've given up on me and Chuck, Dan. Why do you think I was upset last night?" I asked him with a sigh, I felt tears begin to well in my eyes. "I feel like all I ever do is try be the perfect woman and it gets thrown back in my face. And everyone wonders why I'm such a bitch? Why I do all this shitty stuff, because that's the only way people actually see me. I'm in everyone's shadow." I admitted sadly, trying to hold off on crying.
Dan whispered out softly, "Come here, Alex." Dan opened his arms up and I let him hug me, he was comforting, gentle, kind. "Sorry." I apologised quietly. "You have nothing to apologise for, take it from a nobody, you're definitely always seen no matter what." Dan assured me, I looked up to him. My eyes glossed over with tears, "You're not a nobody, not really." I quietly told him. "You learn to live with it." Dan smiled sadly. I leaned closer towards him, going to kiss him when I heard my sister coming down the stairs. "Alexxx! Where are you?" Blair drunkenly called out, I held my finger against my lips signalling to Dan. "Go to my room, I'll talk to you there." I whispered quietly to him before directing him the long way around to my room.
"I'm right here B! What's wrong cherie?" I called out walking towards her with a smile. "Have you got those waters yet? S and I are waiting for you up there." She complained, I turned on my heel and handed her to two partly drunken waters that Dan and I had. "Here you go, I got slightly thirsty. I'll be up soon okay? I just need to make a few calls and get changed. Start without me." I offered with a smile. "Are you sure? It's our thing." B pouted. "Positive, now go on you deserve to relax." I beamed as she walked away happily.
Two new messages:
Tony: Ready to do business yet?
Chuck: Talked to Tony, u better have a good explanation for the shit u pulled... I'm sure you wouldn't want a war darling, because I'd win and leave you to crumble at the steps of the met xo
I couldn't be bothered to check my phone as of yet, so, I decided to walk upstairs to my room. I closed the door behind me, "That was close." Dan mumbled, he was sat on my bed. "You're telling me... If you want us to become friends with additional benefits Humphrey, we have to be careful." I quietly told him, walking towards him. Dan wrapping his arms around my waist and pulled me down onto him, slightly out of character for him- maybe I liked drunk Dan- but I wasn't complaining.
"Oh, I think I want this to continue." He whispered pressing a soft kiss against my lips. "Then continue it shall." I smirked to him, I pushed him down onto the bed and peeled his shirt from him. "We'll have to make this quick." I husked allowing him to take my dress off. Our lips smashed against one another. Passion. Lust. Friendship. "Fuck." I whispered as I rolled my hips.
"Alex! Are you sure we can start the movie without you? It's your favourite!" Serena shouted out from outside my locked door. I clasped my hand over Dan's mouth, noticing the panic in his eyes, "Ye..Yeah! Don't worry about it, I think I'm gonna go to s..sleep soon anyway." I shouted back. "Okay. Love you A, thanks for everything." Serena called out through my door. I was such a bad friend, such a bad girlfriend, such a bad best friend. "Love you too S." I called back, before hearing her leave. I leant down and pressed a gentle kiss amongst Dan's lips... I'm screwed...
~~~
A/N: Hello readers, I am back once again, quicker than usual because I proper got into the GG vibes and I'm obsessed with the cast right now. I hope the Dan x Alex stuff makes sense, I wanted to show how she often finds the beauty in others but sometimes uses it as an excuse to self destruct. I also will be including Tony a bit more and possibly showing his perspective of things to try explain his character more.I promise there will be more Chalex as I build up to upcoming chapters I just wanted to express Alex's coping mechanisms such as self destruction and trying to seek validation of men. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and will continue to read :)) Have a great day or night and I'll see you soon <33