JORDI ADKINS
"You saw us?" I almost barked out loud. Thankfully, there's no one out of earshot by the bleachers and I was able to make all of the shocked sound and expression that I would've normally do. Hearing the confession come out of Nikki's mouth was the only thing that I needed to make an actual conclusion. It's most definitely the reason why she called me a liar in the first place.
"Yup, by the locker. I was just on my way to find you and I didn't mean to pry but I saw everything and when I say everything, I saw you kissing him back." Nikki continued. "Oh my god, Jordi!!! Is that actually your first kiss?" She squealed.
"Nikki—"
"Or maybe there's something else that you're not telling me about. Hhmmm?!!."
"No, it is. It is my first kiss." I nodded in utter defeat and I just realized that I needed to tell Nikki everything. I know we just had a fight and perhaps this was also the right time to finally tell her about me and Xavier.
"Xavier's your first kiss? That fucking bastard!"
"No-no-no!!! I mean that wasn't the first time that we kissed." I said in my initial attempt to try to and tell her what happened.
"What?!!!" Nikki's eyes grew larger. "Let me get this straight. So you and Xavier have already kissed before that?"
"Ahuh..." I nodded swallowing hard and feeling a bit embarrassed by it. While Nikki was the first person to realize how hot of a guy Xavier was, it never really fazed her from hating him. "We did."
"Tell me more, you sneaky little Jordi!" She chirped and it was clear to me that she's also quite intrigued.
"Well, if I'm going to tell you everything that you need to know then you have to promise that you must keep it between us. I mean, you could tell Jane but it should only between our circle." I uttered wisely. I have such confidence with Nikki and I know she's going to keep this as a secret. However, what if things go awry again between us? What if we have a huge misunderstanding and when I say huge, I mean something really huge. I should be able to trust her with this because this isn't my only secret, this is also Xavier's secret.
"I promise, Jordi."
"Cross your heart?"
Nikki crossed her heart with her finger. It was in the wrong part of her chest but I just ignored that little detail. "I'm going to keep my mouth shut because I'm a good friend. I swear on my dead father's grave!"
"Okay..." I let out a heavy sigh having heard her. "We didn't just kiss, we actually made out and I... I took him home."
"Jesus mother of..." Nikki got up and then sat back. "Did you two like—?" She used both of her hands to make a sexual innuendo.
I ended up ignoring that and just went on and told her my story. "When I woke up the next morning, we were both naked and I saw the little monster hanging in between his legs, well, it's not really little but you get my point."
"Jordi? That's like a full one eighty. Are you fucking serious?"
"Girl, I'm telling you now. I'm not lying. I'm a lot of things but you know I'm not a liar. I didn't have sex with him. We almost did but I fell asleep."
"You know what, Jordi. I'm honestly gagged about what you are telling me right now. I thought I only saw you and Xavier kiss and now, you're telling me that you almost had sex with him." Nikki said.
"Yeah, and I'm really sorry that I didn't tell this sooner. I just needed some time to process everything and also, I'm scared."
"Girl, why are you scared? There's obviously nothing to be scared off. We are your friends and we keep each other's skeleton tightly locked in each of our closets." The fact that Nikki mentioned this meant that she's truly serious with her promise. I'm glad that we had this conversation because if not, I'm probably crying right now because of what happened back in the hallway. "Remember that one time I shit my pants?"
"Yeah, hahaha. Everyone still think that it's Jennifer who shit her pants but it was actually you."
"And remember that time Jane picked her nose and then ate her booger?"
"YES!!! HAHAHAHA! I know that one because we caught it on camera and then Jane was pissed."
Nikki and I shared laughter and to think that if she hadn't showed up to save me from Nixon, I'd probably be covered in sticky milk tea right now. This was just a temporary solution because I'm pretty sure I'm going to cry when I get home but it's still a good distraction nonetheless.
"I was just thinking, when?" Nikki began consciously rerouting the topic from our silly little nasty secrets back to Xavier and I. "When did you two like made out?"
"When we went to that house party."
"Which one?" Nikki raised her eyebrows. I know she's been through a lot of parties before, she's like a party animal but I'm only present with a few of those.
"At Demi's house."
"Oohhh, yeah I remember that one! That's the reason why you went missing that night? So you actually lied to me, Jordi."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Remember I asked you where'd you go that night and you said you went straight home."
"And I did. I just didn't tell you I was with Xavier because I'm still hangover that time and I didn't know what to say myself. "Look, Nikki..." I paused as I was just trying to compose my own words. "I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it sooner. I... I just thought it's something that I'm not yet ready to share. You know how much I hate Xavier and it's weird that I made out with him."
"It's fine, girl, don't worry about it."
When I got home that day, I had the pleasure to really let everything sink in. While I'm genuinely glad that Nikki and I talked, that's just a small positive thing compared to the larger problem that's already starting to give me anxiety. I'm confused with Xavier and I'm honestly greatly disappointed with what happened.
Looking back at what happened, he just stood there and watched as Nixon and Darren taunted me with their masculinity. I really thought he's going to step in and tell his friends to get the fuck away from me but he just watched me.
Am I still allowed to give Xavier the benefit of the doubt? Does he even deserve it after what happened? Does it make me look like a forgiving person?
I had a lot of thoughts in my head and they're all giving their own two cents. It is honestly a maelstrom and I'm not really comfortable with it. A part of me wants to stop giving a shit about Xavier because what happened back there just showed me how very little he cared about me. Another part of me wants to confront Xavier and ask him about what happened because there should be a certain reason as to why he just watched me essentially fight for my life. And there's also a part of me that wants to give him another chance regardless.
I certainly don't want to be the martyr person in this situation but I'm I also know that I don't have any control over what's happening around me. I wanted to cry but there's really nothing coming out of my eyes. I'm honestly having some blue balls right now and it's not because I'm horny or something but I was really looking forward to spending some time with Xavier. And then it was ruined when Nixon showed up. I felt like the odds have changed their minds and decided to let Xavier fuck things up with me.
After stressing myself for over an hour inside my room, I decided to bring myself downstairs and get some sweet snack. I felt the need to eat something sweet and I know eating sweets really helps a lot with my stress. I went straight to the fridge and grabbed me a cup of ice cream and when I brought myself to the living room, the front door suddenly opened. My mom showed up carrying some groceries and as she walked inside, I was greatly shocked to see Xavier trailing her steps.
"Hey, Jordi! Would you mind helping us with the groceries?" My mom asked and eventually walked straight towards the kitchen.
"Xavier, what the fuck are you doing here?" I scowled gritting my teeth in utter annoyance. I wasn't expecting Xavier to show up here but then again, he knew where I live so he's basically free to show up whenever he wants to show up. However, just because he knows where I live, doesn't mean he's going to show up whenever he likes to show up.
"I-I came here to talk to you and then I saw your mom and she asked me to carry the groceries." Xavier replied. A little part of me was happy to see him but there's no denying that I'm more annoyed than happy.
For Pete's sake. What's really going on right now?
When I got to the garage, Xavier was quick to follow my footsteps.
"I'm really sorry for showing up unannounced." He began breathing heavily.
"Yeah, you're already here. It's not like I'm going to shoo you away like a fucking rooster." I snapped dosed with enough sarcasm.
"Look, Jordi. I'm really sorry. I just came here to apologize about what happened earlier." Xavier inched his way closer to me but I stepped away from him.
"Yeah, yeah. Tell me whatever you want to tell." I ignored Xavier and just carried my mom's groceries.
"Look at you boys, you look cute together." My mom cooed when she saw us both carrying all of the stuff that she bought from the store. It's just Thursday and she really chose to go to the store right now when she normally does it every Saturday. "You look like brothers! Now I'm really thinking of having another baby."
"Eww, mom. You're already forty-two."
"Na-ah, that doesn't have anything to do with having a baby. I'm still far from having my menopause. My womb's still very much capable of bearing another child. And you Jordi, you are sexist for saying that. You need to stop thinking that women should stop having a baby past forty." My mom uttered in a rasping tone.
"Okay, mom. I'm sorry. I just can't imagine having a little brother or sister that's almost eighteen years younger than me."
"What about you, Xavier? What do you think?" My mom looked over at Xavier.
"Uhm, I think you have all the right to decide for yourself, Mrs. Adkins. And you look like you're only thirty." Xavier replied. He just complimented my mom and I knew my mom better than him, she loves getting complimented for how young she looks.
"Thank you, Xavier."
Before my mom could even continue talking, I decided to pull Xavier to my bedroom so we could at least have a privacy together.