cadnis oneshots so i can get some f*cking sleep

and all the devils are here

hello everyone happy wednesday!! i hope you're having a great one :)

this is finally a request fill for an anon on tumblr who asked for veronica coming to evanston after the events of heathers (which for plot reasons happened in her junior year instead of senior year). i've had this one for a while (like. more than a year oops) and i'm so glad it's finally done and ready to be shared :)) and thank you to my beloved for helping me proofread it <33

but it is a dark one!! tw for
ptsd/general mental illness
flashbacks
mentioned self harm
death
mentioned violence
abusive relationships
divorce/child custody discussions
and as always if i've missed anything please let me know so i can add it in !

enjoy!

—————

"Are you okay, mpendwa?" Cady asks worriedly, looking at her girlfriend's pale face. Janis startles slightly, snapping out of her daze and back to their weekly coffee with Damian.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Cady frowns in concern and checks her forehead with a kiss. "You don't have a fever."

"I'm okay, Cads," Janis chuckles. "I'm not sick."

"But you're acting weird," Damian accuses, pointing his straw at her. "Spill."

"It's nothing," Janis mumbles.

"It's clearly not nothing, love," Cady says worriedly. "You can tell us."

"You sure?" Janis asks sheepishly. "It's... kind of heavy, I don't wanna bring the mood down, or whatever."

"Noooo, of course you can tell us," Cady says, hugging Janis' arm. Damian nods eagerly around his mouthful of latte.

Janis takes a deep breath to prepare herself for their reaction. "Okay, um... I have a twin."

Damian does a genuine spit take, choking slightly before spitting his coffee on the ground. "You have a what?! And you didn't tell me?!"

"I didn't know! My mom only told me yesterday," Janis replies. It's silent for a long moment, the tension palpable. "Caddy?"

"Sorry," Cady says, shaking her head in an attempt to clear it, like an Etch-A-Sketch. "But... what?"

"I have an identical twin," Janis explains quietly. "Our parents divorced when we were a year old. My dad took her and moved to Ohio, and my mom kept me."

"Oh my god, that's why we were never allowed to watch The Parent Trap!" Damian gasps. "It all makes sense now!"

"So... why did your mom tell you now?" Cady asks. "Surely it would be easier to keep this up if you two never knew about each other?"

"She's... um... she's moving here," Janis replies. Damian chokes again. "She went through... something, last year. My dad decided she needed a fresh start, and to be with Mama, I guess. So she's moving here next week."

"Oh," Cady says. "How do you feel about that?"

"I dunno," Janis mumbles. "I only found out she existed yesterday, I haven't really processed it yet."

Cady hums understandingly and nods. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

"Yeah, she's just, like, another you. She'll be awesome," Damian replies.

"Technically, I'm another her," Janis chuckles. "She's older."

"By how much?" Damian asks.

"Three minutes."

"Okay, that's manageable," Damian nods.

"What's her name?" Cady asks gently.

"Veronica," Janis replies, leaning into her girlfriend for comfort.

"The hell?" Damian scoffs. "What kind of twin names are those? Veronica and Janis aren't similar at all."

"Dame, we're identical, I think it's better to give us different names," Janis chuckles. "And my real name is more similar."

"Your what now?"

"My name is Victoria, Damdam," Janis chuckles. "I decided I didn't like it when I was little and started going by my middle name."

"You what?!" Damian splutters. "I've known you since we were three! How did I not know this?!"

"You never asked," Janis shrugs. "It's not like it matters, I'm only Victoria on paper."

Damian cups his face in his hands and stares past his friends at absolutely nothing, looking as if everything he knows about the universe has shifted a bit. Janis turns to Cady.

"Well, this has been... interesting," Cady giggles. "Any other life changing secrets you want to let us in on now?"

"Not at the moment," Janis hums. Cady kisses her forehead.

"Alright, well, if you think of something."

"You'll be the first to know," Janis agrees with a chuckle. "D, you good?"

"He hasn't blinked in two minutes."

—————

"Love, it'll be fine," Cady comforts as Janis is pacing around her bedroom. "You might not get along right away, sure, but you're sisters. Twins, even. I'm sure she'll be as wonderful as you are."

"What if she's better than me?" Janis asks, pausing her pacing and turning to look at her girlfriend in worry. "What if you like her better?"

"Janis," Cady sighs, reaching out for her. Janis plops into her lap and cuddles in with a whine. "I love you. Not her. Just because you're identical twins doesn't mean you're the same person. You didn't even grow up together. She probably acts different, she might look a little different, who knows. I only want you. I don't even know her. I know you. I love you. You don't have to worry about her being 'better'. You're great as you are, and I'm sure she is too. In different ways. And I only want this way. Your way. Okay?"

Janis nods, but doesn't say anything. Damian returns then, armed with the snacks he'd been sent to fetch from their kitchen. "I'm back and I have food!"

Janis anxiously rips into the package of Oreos and cracks one open, nibbling all the filling out of the middle in a spiral.

"What happened?" Damian asks knowingly.

"I'm about to meet someone who, in theory, looks and acts exactly like me," Janis replies. "Surely you, of all people, understand why that's terrifying?"

"Oh. Yeah, fair point," Damian nods. "You'll always be the better twin to us."

"Thanks," Janis snorts.

The doorbell rings. Janis tenses.

"Now or never," Cady says gently. "We're right here."

Janis takes a deep breath and nods, padding slowly out of her room and down the stairs. Damian and Cady follow, but linger on the staircase to give them a bit of privacy.

Janis walks in on her mom in tears, holding a blue form as tight as she possibly can and murmuring something Janis can't make out. A short girl in a pink sweatshirt and an only slightly taller one dressed all in yellow stand by the door, looking about as awkward witnessing this as Damian and Cady do.

"Victoria?"

Janis whirls around when she hears it. She's seen photos of her dad. He sent a card to her every birthday and every Christmas. And here he is. In the flesh.

"Uh... hi," she stutters quietly. "It's Janis now."

"That's what I wanted to name you in the first place," her dad chortles. Janis tenses as she's suddenly pulled into a hug so tight she can hardly breathe. She sinks into the embrace after barely a minute and hugs her father back. "God, you're tall."

Janis laughs. Or maybe she's crying, she can't be quite sure. Probably both.

Her dad pulls away and holds her face in his large, warm hands. "Let me get a good look at you."

Janis smiles a bit, still not totally sure what to make of the whole situation.

"Cool hair," her dad says thickly.

"Thanks," Janis chuckles, wiping her eyes with a sniffle.

Her mother lets go of her sister at around the same time, and the two turn to face each other. Their jaws drop in exactly the same way.

"Holy shit," Cady whispers from the stairs.

Janis and Veronica are almost exactly identical.

They have the same face, though Janis' is coated in her usual dark makeup, while Veronica doesn't seem to have anything on beyond maybe a lip gloss. Their natural hair color is the same, but Veronica's is in a barely tamed puff cropped to her shoulders, while Janis has her long blonde ends and just a slight wave caused by probable years of bleach damage.

Their clothes are wildly different, too. Janis is in a pretty casual outfit; a black sweater, denim shorts and some footless fishnets. Veronica has on a blue short-sleeved sweatshirt and some plain dark jeans.

But the most noticeable difference is how they carry themselves.

They have exactly the same build, they're the same height and everything down to maybe a centimeter at most. But while Janis stands tall, proud to fill the space she does, Veronica seems to be trying to make herself as small as possible. There's something haunted in her eyes, something that isn't there in Janis' matching ones. Veronica looks like she's trying to make herself totally invisible. Like if she hunches in on herself enough the world might just swallow her whole.

"That's my face," Janis accuses unthinkingly. "I mean, uh..."

"Hey," Veronica greets gently.

"Hey," Janis echoes. "I'm Janis."

"Veronica," her twin says. They can hear one of the girls that came with her smack her hand against her forehead as Veronica sheepishly reaches out a hand for Janis to shake. "Mac, shut up! I'm nervous!"

"She's your twin, Ronnie! Hug her!" the girl in yellow huffs.

"This works for me," Janis shrugs instead. She takes her sister's hand and gives it a solid shake before letting go. Veronica flinches slightly when she says that. What happened to her?

"Well, we'll let you kids go get to know one another," their father says kindly, shooing the lot of them up the stairs. Janis blinks at her mom for a moment, checking to make sure this is what she should do. Her mother nods and points to Cady and Damian. Janis sheepishly gestures for the rest of her crew to follow her upstairs.

Veronica and her little posse look around almost in awe at Janis' room. Doodles cover every square inch of wall (and ceiling, now that she's run out of room), along with alien posters and photos of her favorite people. The color scheme is dark, but it's still quite cozy.

Cady pulls Janis into her lap on the bed and hooks her chin over her shoulder. Veronica and Yellow Girl sheepishly sit down at the foot of Janis' bed, while Pink Girl stands aimlessly next to them. Damian flops on the ground and lies spread eagle, like he normally does.

It's silent for a few minutes before he finally pipes up. "Alright, fuck this. Hi, I'm Damian, Janis' best friend and token homosexual. And I hate silence."

"Me too!" Yellow Girl exclaims. "Oh, I'm Heather. Ronnie's girlfriend."

"I thought your name was Mac?" Cady says, tilting her head in confusion.

"That's a nickname," Heather explains. "I'm not the only Heather we know. There are- were- three of us. So we go by our last names, most of the time. Mine's McNamara, so... Mac."

"Oh," Cady says with a nod. "Cool! I'm Cady. I'm Janis' girlfriend."

Veronica raises an eyebrow at Janis. Janis mirrors her and says, "Lesbian."

"Bi," Veronica hums. Janis gives an approving nod.

"Her too."

"Nice!" Veronica cheers, giving Cady a fist bump. Cady laughs and reaches to tap their hands together.

"What about you?" she asks, looking to Pink Girl.

"Huh? Oh! I'm Martha. I've been Veronica's best friend since we were babies," Martha says. "Or since diapers, as she so eloquently likes to put it."

"We were two when we met, that's not a baby! That's a toddler," Veronica defends. "But we were still in diapers."

"Whatever you say," Martha chuckles.

"I do say," Veronica insists.

"It makes sense to me," Janis says with a laugh. Veronica's eyes widen when she realizes they have the exact same laugh. Janis mirrors the expression. She doesn't know why, since they're identical twins, but she really wasn't expecting them to be so similar.

"You guys are really similar," Mac says with a giggle.

"We're twins," Janis and Veronica explain at the same time. Everyone laughs.

"We should see if you guys have twin telepathy or something," Cady says.

"Oh, yeah!" Mac agrees eagerly.

"Come on, let's go get some stuff," Cady says. She and Mac go rushing off to find... something, leaving the other four blinking at the door.

"Should we be worried?" Veronica asks quietly.

"I think our girlfriends are more similar than we are," Janis responds.

"At least they get along," Veronica says, tilting her head in confusion.

"Martha, do you like musicals?" Damian asks, making conversation in the best way he can while they wait for Cady and Mac to return.

"I love musicals!" Martha says eagerly. "Especially the happy ones."

"Can you stay forever?" Damian asks longingly. "Janis never watches bootlegs with me."

"We watched one this morning," Janis says with a roll of her eyes.

"To distract you from your nerves!" Damian retaliates. "If I want to watch one any other time I have to get Cady to do her eyes on you."

"Hey, that's what I have to do with Mac to get Veronica to watch with me!" Martha giggles. "Man, you guys really are twins."

"I like the gritty ones," Veronica says. "And the ones based on books. Like Les Mis."

"That's what we watched!" Damian says. Veronica turns to look at her sister.

"You watched Les Misèrables to distract you from your nerves?"

"Yeah," Janis says like it's obvious. "Caddy wanted to watch Frozen, so... lesser of two evils."

"Frozen is fantastic!" Damian says.

"The Lion King is better," Martha says.

"Do not say that in front of Caddy," Janis insists. "She makes us watch that at least once a week."

"Mac always makes us watch Bring it On," Veronica chuckles affectionately. "Says it gives her ideas. She's captain of the cheer squad."

"Caddy's from Kenya," Janis says as an explanation for Cady's love of The Lion King.

"Really?" Martha asks in shock. "That's so cool!"

"Yeah," Janis says, feeling herself blush at the mere mention of her girlfriend. "My safari explorer. Mac's thing is cool too."

"Thanks," Veronica snorts.

Mac and Cady return armed with armfuls of various things as Martha and Damian get into a deep discussion about The Princess Bride, already comfortable with each other enough to cuddle up sitting side by side on the ground.

"Oh, I love The Princess Bride!" Cady says when she hears what they're talking about. She and Mac drop their armfuls of things on Janis' bed.

"We can never leave this place," Martha says. "I found my people."

"What about us?" Veronica asks indignantly.

"Yeah, you're fine," Martha responds. Veronica just rolls her eyes with a faint smile.

"Everyone seems to be bonding except us, Janis," she says.

"We gotta do science!" Mac says. Veronica and Janis pull the same slightly frightened expression.

"What are you gonna do to us?" Janis asks in concern.

"It'll be fun!" Cady says.

"That's what you said when you brought me to visitors' day at your math camp," Janis snorts.

"Are you saying it wasn't?"

"Only because you let me sneak you away so we could make out in the woods," Janis says. Cady humphs. Janis chuckles and says, "Do your worst."

"Damian, Martha, can you guys hold this up?" Mac asks, grabbing a large black sheet.

"Sure," Damian says, pausing their discussion. "Why?"

"So they can't see each other," Cady explains. Damian takes one end and Martha takes the other, holding it up as a barrier between Janis and Veronica as they hesitantly take seats on the ground.

"Okay, round one," Mac says. "Think of... a color, and then when we count down you'll say it at the same time."

"Why can't we see each other, then?" Veronica asks.

"That's for later. And for the effect," Mac explains. "Ready?" Both twins nod. "Three... two... one..."

"Blue," Veronica says.

"Purple," Janis says at the same time. Cady and Mac both deflate a bit.

"Okay, so you have different favorite colors," Cady says. "That's fine. Now think of a... a number."

"Any number?" Janis asks.

"Uh... between one and fifteen, we'll say," Cady says. The twins nod. "Three... two... one..."

"Eight," they both say. Mac and Cady squeal happily and hug each other.

"It worked!" Mac says.

"Once, Mac," Veronica chuckles. "You and Cady could probably do the same thing."

"So we'll do it again!" Mac says eagerly. "Now think of any number. Any one at all."

"Okay," Veronica chuckles. Mac gives them a countdown. "Nine hundred and thirty four."

Janis doesn't think of one in time and barely manages to stutter, "Uh... six."

"Janis isn't the best with numbers," Cady explains.

"Hey!"

"Name a holiday," Cady says, changing the subject effortlessly. "Three... two... one..."

"Halloween," they both say. Cady and Mac dance around again.

"Now... now... uh..."

"Cake flavor!" Mac blurts.

"Oh, yeah, that's good!" Cady says. She counts them down.

Janis says, "Chocolate."

Veronica says, "I don't really like cake."

"Okay, this isn't working," Cady says. "Let's do this."

She rests a few different snacks in front of each of them. A small tube of pringles, a pack of cookies, and some pretzels.

"Pick one," Mac says. They both observe their choices before making their pick. Martha and Damian move the sheet so they can see each other and reveal that they both chose the chips. "Yay!"

She grabs the snacks from them to set up the next round. "Hey, wait, we don't get to eat 'em?"

Cady rolls her eyes and hands the chips back. Janis and Veronica munch happily while some video games get rested in front of them. The boxes for Janis, and the actual disks for Veronica. Damian and Martha obediently hoist the sheet back up. They get a few seconds to make their choice before the sheet is dropped again. Mac and Cady cheer when they see they both chose Mario Kart.

"They're having more fun with this than us," Veronica chuckles.

"That's why I'm still doing it," Janis responds.

"Such devoted girlfriends," Damian says.

"You're a good sheet holder, Dame," Janis says, looking up at him as her options are swapped out for the next round; candies.

"Thank you! I've had lots of practice on the fly crew," Damian says. He drops it again as they both make their choice. Cady and Mac make yet another ridiculous sound as they see they both chose Sour Patch Kids.

"That's three in a row," Martha points out. Cady and Mac squeal again. "Why is this so fun for you?"

"Because it's cool!" Cady and Mac say at the same time.

"Maybe we should be doing this with you guys instead," Janis chuckles.

"Ooh, yeah," Mac says. "We'll go next. Okay, last round, ready?"

"Sure," the twins sigh at the same time. Much like the video games, some movies are rested in front of them. They pick their choice and the sheet is dropped for the final time. You'd think Mac and Cady just won the Superbowl with their own bare hands, the way they react to seeing they both picked a Barbie ballet movie from their childhoods.

"This is fun," Martha says happily.

"But you're just holding a sheet," Mac giggles.

"I'm just happy to be here, honestly," Martha chuckles. "Your turn?"

"Yeah!" Cady says.

-

As it turns out, everyone has about the same success rate. Martha and Damian go a round after Cady and Mac. The girls are visibly trying to hide their disappointment at their very scientific experiments on the twins being disproven before their eyes. At least it was still a fun game.

Veronica's crew isn't leaving until the next day, so they have the best sleepover ever. Making brownies with entirely too many people in the kitchen, playing video games way too late into the night, binge watching tons of movies and munching on ungodly amounts of snacks.

Janis keeps looking at her twin. Veronica keeps looking back. She has to imagine they're looking for the same thing. Themselves, in each other. Is that what I look like when I focus? When I laugh, when I smile, when I talk? Is that what I sound like? Is that what I walk like?

Eventually, they all settle in various spots in Janis' bedroom since Veronica's isn't quite... habitable, yet. Veronica and Mac snuggle up inside a sleeping bag, Cady joins Janis in her bed, and Martha and Damian, evidently feeling left out, snuggle together in their own sleeping bags like some strange caterpillar cuddle party.

They stay up late talking and laughing and bonding, but eventually, they all fall asleep.

—————

Unfortunately, Janis and Veronica's father, Mac, and Martha do have to go home eventually. They came to see Veronica off and help her settle the slightest bit into her new home, but they have their own lives to get back to in Ohio.

Janis does her best to hide it, but she's honestly miffed about her dad having to leave so soon. This is the first time she's gotten to see him in person since she was a year old, and she barely got a full night with him.

He spends the morning with her, at least. Mac and Martha help Veronica unpack and start getting her room set up while Janis plays checkers with her dad and they watch a few movies together.

After lunch, it's time to say goodbye. It's a long drive from Evanston to Sherwood, and they want to get back before dark.

Cady and Damian already made sure everyone had each other's phone numbers. Janis gives Mac and Martha quick hugs before she wraps herself as hard as she can around her dad. He murmurs comfort into her hair as he hugs her back and lets Veronica handle her goodbyes to her friend and girlfriend.

"You'll do great here," Mac says louder than she thinks she does. "Call me every night, okay?"

"More than that," Veronica agrees with a sniffle. Janis wonders what could've possibly happened to her that would mean leaving her loved ones behind is the best option.

"I hope things are easier for you here," Martha says as she hugs her best friend tightly.

"Me too."

With last hugs and a kiss between Veronica and Mac, the door closes and they're both left alone, staring silently at the backside of the dark wood.

"...You wanna go watch that Barbie movie?" Janis asks after a few minutes. Veronica sniffles and nods.

"Yeah. I do."

—————

Janis is lounging in her room about a week later, doomscrolling various social medias on her phone and playing a few games.

She jumps when she hears a frustrated growl come from the next room over. Veronica did mention wanting to get started sorting her room out today.

Janis sits up and heads into the room. "You good?"

"I have too much shit," Veronica grumbles, kicking a box a couple inches away from her and growling again at the new pain in her foot.

"Need help?" Janis asks.

Veronica looks up at her like she's an angel descended from the heavens. "Can you help me get all the boxes into the hall so I can paint?"

"Sure," Janis says with a nod. She's not really dressed for it; with her usual tights and shorts combo and a tank top, but it leaves her with enough mobility just to do something like this.

With the two of them working together, all the boxes are moved out of the way within five minutes. Janis suddenly finds herself wishing she'd always had a twin to help with chores. Things would've gone much faster.

"I can help paint, if you want," Janis offers as they both suck down water in the kitchen. It might've been fast, but it was still heavy work, and they're both more exhausted than they care to admit.

"Yeah, sure, if you want to," Veronica says. Janis gets the feeling some of her nonchalance is feigned. She remembers what it was like painting her bedroom with her mom. She can't leave her twin to do that alone.

"Let me change, I'll be right back."

Janis heads back up to her own bedroom and changes into an old pair of shorts and tshirt of her mother's. She grabs her phone to play music while they work and heads back to Veronica's room.

Veronica comes back from the kitchen with several bottles of water and some snacks. Janis helps her cover all the furniture in plastic and tape over the baseboards and outlets. Veronica hands her a roller, cracks open a can of cream colored paint, and pours some into a tray.

They work in silence for the first little while. They're still getting used to each other, and Cady was very much right in that they are different people. They still don't really know how much they have in common; how much they'll be able to relate to each other. They don't even really know what interests they have in common.

"Is that Mom's shirt?" Veronica asks after a while.

"Yeah," Janis says. "Is that Dad's?"

"Yeah," Veronica responds.

They're quiet again. Janis takes to doing a second coat on her walls. "Are you gonna leave them all this color?"

"I dunno," Veronica says. "I was thinking about an accent wall, but I don't really know what I'd want to do with it. And I have absolutely no artistic talents."

"That's weird," Janis snorts.

"Who did all the stuff in your room?"

"Me," Janis says. Veronica whirls around to look at her and accidentally splashes her with some paint.

"Shit, sorry," Veronica says. Janis laughs and swipes the paint away from her eyes. "You do art?"

"Yeah," Janis says, taking a paper towel to scrub the rest of the paint off her face. Or, more accurately, as much as she can get off. "I've always, like, doodled and stuff. And I really liked art class. And then I went to art therapy in middle school and it kind of just... stuck, from then on."

"Huh," Veronica says. She doesn't even acknowledge that she heard the art therapy statement. Janis is almost glad for it. This might be her twin, but they're still practical strangers. She's not sure when they'll be able and willing to talk about stuff like that. "That's cool. I've always sucked at it."

"It's not for everyone," Janis shrugs. "I could do an accent wall for you if you decide what you want."

"Really?" Veronica asks. "You'd do that?"

"Sure," Janis says. "I don't do, like, landscapes super well, but I can do doodle-type stuff if you want. Some pattern or something."

Veronica takes a minute to look at the drying paint on the wall next to the door. "Could you do flowers?"

"Yeah, totally," Janis says. "What kind?"

"...Blue," Veronica says. "I don't really know."

"Veronicas?" Janis jokes. "They're blue."

Veronica shoots her a weird look. "Veronica's a flower?"

"Yeah," Janis says. She grabs her phone and googles them to show her sister. Some of them are a sort of strange tube shape and look like something out of a science fiction film, but others simply look like a sweet, delicate blossom. She's not entirely sure which ones fit her sister more.

"Oh, I like those," Veronica says. She points to one example.

"I can do that if you want," Janis says. Veronica nods.

"That'd be cool. Thanks, Janny."

"Sure, Vera," Janis says with a smile. "Let me go get my stuff."

Janis keeps her smile as she goes to fetch the leftover colors her mom had let her buy when she was doing her own bedroom and some smaller brushes.

She's more excited than she thinks she should be. Out of everything, flowers are actually one of her favorite things to paint. Cady's the only one who knows, since Janis paints her flowers from time to time instead of buying bouquets that'll die in a few weeks. It doesn't fit with the image Janis has tried so hard to build and maintain, so she keeps it to herself. But now she gets to do a whole wall of them for her sister.

They actually talk the whole time Janis works, while Veronica gets started putting some more furniture together. Janis doesn't even notice that they never wound up playing music after all.

Her sister is easy to talk to, and soon, the wall is covered in sweet blue blossoms that match Veronica's blue accents perfectly. They both flop onto the newly-made bed and look around at their masterpiece.

"Thanks for helping me."

"Anytime."

—————

The dreaded night finally arrives. The last before the first day of school.

Janis is already nervous just about going back. Things changed a lot over the summer, but she's still not exactly looking forward to dealing with the Plastics and the jocks and other assorted cliques of North Shore. Add in all the other nerves that come with starting senior year, and Janis is a wreck.

Veronica, on the other hand, is surprisingly calm. Janis can't tell if it's a facade or if she's genuinely not concerned by what they'll face tomorrow. Maybe this being a new start for her is actually working.

Their backpacks sit ready by the front door, their outfits laid out on their dressers and their respective makeup products on their shared bathroom counter. Janis has many, many more products than her sister. At least they'll be easy to tell apart.

"You girls excited for tomorrow?" their mom asks over their dinner.

"No," Janis says.

"Yeah," Veronica says at the same time. They both turn to each other and pull the same weirded out face.

"It's school," Janis says, as if Veronica had forgotten that somehow.

"Yeah, exactly," Veronica says. "New books. New pens. Meeting teachers. Books."

"But school," Janis reiterates. "Stress and other kids. And stress."

Veronica just shrugs and returns to her mashed potatoes. Both of them say, "Weirdo." at the same time. "Stop it! You stop it!"

Their mother rolls her eyes, but the clearly delighted smile gives away her true feelings about having the two of them back together. "Both of you hush up and eat. You need to be getting to bed soon."

"Ugh," Janis grumbles, stabbing into her potatoes.

—-

They do a last check of their things and take their turns in the shower. Janis takes a minute to FaceTime Cady while she does her favorite face mask. They hang up around ten, since Cady gets grumpy without enough sleep. She has a very strict bedtime even in the summer.

Janis bumps into Veronica on her way to get a bottle of water for her nightstand. Veronica's sipping on some sleepy time tea and staring out the kitchen window into the backyard. She's chatting with someone. Janis was expecting to see their mother, but Veronica's alone.

"Hey," Janis greets.

Veronica jumps when she hears her and turns around, almost spilling her tea. She relaxes when she sees it's just Janis standing there. "Hey."

"Sorry. Who were you talking to?"

"Nobody," Veronica says immediately. "Uh... myself. I talk to myself a lot. I know it's weird."

Janis just shrugs. Things between them are still quite awkward. It's always weird to see a walking version of your reflection hanging out in your house, but they're slowly getting used to having the other around.

"I don't think so, I do it too, sometimes. I'm going to bed. Goodnight," Janis says once she has her water.

"Goodnight," Veronica says. Hesitantly, shakily, she reaches to offer a hug. Janis smiles faintly and leans in, giving her twin a squeeze. Neither of them are huge on physical contact (unless you ask Cady or Mac), but being close to the other is surprisingly calming for the both of them. Must be a twin thing or something. "Love you."

"Love you too," Janis says. She gives Veronica a final squeeze and pads off to bed.

——-

She's not expecting to be awoken by the sounds of screaming. She's confused at first, until she puts together what the muffled sounds coming through the wall are and bolts upright. Her phone shows that it's barely two in the morning when she checks it.

She stands up and tries to run in to help and see what's going on. She freezes in the doorway when her mother does the same and shuts Veronica's door in her face. This is clearly something Janis isn't supposed to know about. Doesn't mean she can't snoop anyway.

She stands to the side of the door so they can't see her shadow blocking the light coming through beneath it and does her best to breathe as quietly as she can possibly manage.

It's hard to make out specific words through the door. All Janis can really put together is Veronica sobbing hysterically about, "My fault" and "They're gone" and various other things Janis can't hear. Her mother is desperately trying to hush and comfort her.

Eventually, she's successful, and Janis has to quickly rush back to her room to avoid being caught snooping. She tosses herself into bed and feigns sleep when her mother pops in to check on her as well. She hears a relieved sigh before she decides to go back to sleep for real.

What is going on?

————-

It's weird, having another person there as Janis gets herself ready. Every once in a while her mom will have a later shift and they get to have breakfast together or something, but having another her walking around her house is still odd.

They have a fun moment in the mirror before they both do their makeup, trying to see how similar they look without any products. Their hair is still very different, but their faces are almost frighteningly similar.

They get dressed on their own, obviously, but they go downstairs at the same time for breakfast. Their mom took the day off so she'd be available to make them breakfast, drop them off, and pick them up from school. She's always done it for Janis, but this is the first, and unfortunately probably the last, time she'll get to do it for the both of them.

They try their best to wake up as they munch slowly on their pancakes. They're delicious, as always, but it's also barely seven in the morning. Too early to go much faster.

With a last double check of their backpacks, they're out the door. Veronica looks anxiously at the large building when they arrive as it looms in front of them. Janis isn't faring much better.

She offers Veronica her hand. They'll probably get some weird looks, but Janis thinks they could both use the comfort of each other for a little while. Being close is strangely calming for the two of them.

They head to the office first to pick up their schedules and locker assignments. Their lockers are right next to each other, and their schedules are similar. They're not exactly the same, but they have a few classes together.

"You can have lunch with me if you want. Since you already, y'know. Know me. And Caddy and Damian," Janis says as they walk to their locker. Veronica nods.

"Everyone's staring," Veronica says.

"Own it, bitch," Janis says. "But, yeah. I'm kind of infamous. And... now there's two of me."

"Why not two of me?" Veronica asks. They open their lockers and shove their afternoon books inside.

"Hey, Janis," Regina greets as she approaches. "Cool outfit."

Regina hasn't actually seen Janis yet. She came from Veronica's side. Veronica obviously doesn't respond, as she's not Janis. Janis steps surreptitiously behind Regina and says, "Thanks."

Regina whirls around to see none other than Janis, giving her that usual cocky grin.

"What- but..."

Janis' smile grows when Regina gives her a look of absolute horror that just says dear god they're multiplying.

"How did-"

"This is Veronica," Janis says. "My twin sister."

"Your what now?"

"My twin," Janis says. "She just moved here."

"We got Parent Trap'ed," Veronica explains. "Hey."

"Uh... hi," Regina says. Veronica offers a hand, which Regina hesitantly shakes. "I gotta... go to class. Bye."

"She seems well-adjusted," Veronica chuckles as they head off towards the math wing. Veronica has calculus and Janis has environmental science. Their classrooms are one right on top of the other, so they walk together.

"Getting hit by a bus apparently kind of rearranges your priorities," Janis shrugs. "Among other things."

"She got hit by a bus?"

"At the end of last year, yeah," Janis says. "Long story. This is the first I've seen of her without her spinal halo."

"Damn," Veronica says. "This me?"

Janis checks her sister's schedule. "Think so. You want me to meet you after?"

"Just for today, maybe?" Veronica says sheepishly. "And maybe just to, y'know. Give people time to adjust to there being two of us?"

"Sure. Have fun in math," Janis teases. Veronica sticks her tongue out before she heads into class.

—-

They have second period psychology together. Janis waits outside Veronica's classroom for her so they can walk together.

Janis had the same teacher last year for her politics class. His eyes widen the slightest bit when he sees her and her apparent clone walk through his door. "Hey, Janis. And... Janis the second. Nice to see you back."

"Hey, Mr. Kent," Janis says. "This is my sister, Veronica."

"You have a twin?"

"No, what do you mean?" Janis says. "Kidding. Yeah. She's new."

"I figured," their teacher chuckles. "Welcome to North Shore High."

"Thanks," Veronica says.

"Janis, no pulling switcheroos on me. Uh..."

"Veronica," she supplies.

"Veronica, you can sit wherever you'd like. Today should be pretty chill," their teacher says. Veronica nods. She can see why this is one of Janis' favorite teachers. "You guys should be helpful for the twins unit."

"We're not your lab rats, Mr. Kent," Janis chuckles.

"For now."

Veronica laughs and looks around. A few really early kids have taken some seats. Veronica picks one in the front row towards the middle so she can see the board. "Ew, you're sitting in the front row?"

"What's wrong with the front row?" Veronica chuckles as she pulls out her notebook and pen.

"Everything," Janis grunts as she sits directly behind her.

"Don't whine to me when you can't see the board."

"I'm not blind, Vera."

"For now."

"The hell does that mean?!"

—————

Lunch is... interesting. Janis hasn't felt this many eyes on her since eighth grade. Cady notices how tense both she and Veronica are and suggests they eat in the 'back building'.

It's still weird sitting with the Plastics. They had lunch together a few times after they reconciled-ish at Spring Fling, but old habits die hard. Karen and Gretchen are already outside when they walk up. Karen leans into her girlfriend and stage whispers, "Am I crazy or are there two Janis'?"

"I don't know," Gretchen whispers back.

"Where's the back building?" Veronica asks, looking around for it as Janis sits on the ground.

"It burnt down in 1987," Janis says. "Sit."

Veronica shrugs and hesitantly sits down next to her sister. Cady sits on Janis' other side and greets her with a kiss.

"How's your day been?" she asks as she pulls her sandwich out of her lunch box.

"Not bad, for school," Janis says.

"Do you two have any classes together?"

"Psychology," they say at the same time. "And photography."

"Cool," Cady nods.

Gretchen and Karen are still staring at the twins. Janis suddenly remembers they forgot to introduce Veronica. "Oh. This is Veronica. We're twins. She just moved here."

Damian and Regina walk up as Gretchen and Karen start asking a flurry of questions. Janis and Veronica field the ones they're comfortable with and respectfully don't answer the few that they aren't. Mostly to do with Veronica's past and why she moved to Evanston.

Regina still seems like one of her most haunting nightmares has come true, but she's polite and even friendly to the both of them as they eat. Veronica seems a bit more comforted having Damian and Cady around in addition to her sister. By the end of their fifteen minute lunch, she thinks she's found a solid group of new friends.

—-

"Hi, girls," their mom greets as they clamber into the car in the pickup line. Veronica got the front seat on the way to school, so Janis gets it on the way home. "How was school?"

"Good," they say at the same time.

"Have any homework?"

"No."

"You teenagers and your one word answers," their mother tuts as she pulls out of the parking lot and takes them home. "Veronica, did you make any friends?"

"Yeah," Veronica says quietly with a faint smile. "Yeah, I think I did."

—————

"Girls?" their mother asks a few months later as she enters the living room where Janis and Veronica are lounging side by side on the couch. They look up at her at exactly the same time.

"Yeah?"

"Stop doing that," their mother says with a flustered wave of her hand. "I got called in for the overnight shift tonight. Are you two gonna be okay here by yourselves?"

"Mama, we're almost eighteen," Janis says. "We're big kids."

"That's what I'm worried about," their mom mutters under her breath. "Veronica. You... you think you'll..."

"I'll be fine, Mom," Veronica says quietly. "It's been a good day, I don't think it'll happen tonight."

Janis is confused, but she doesn't push. They both have their own stuff going on. Not everything has to be shared between them. Even if they are identical twins.

"Alright. Call me if anything happens," their mother says, kissing both their foreheads. "I love you."

"Love you too," they both call after her as she gathers her things and leaves. They lock eyes then and smile in exactly the same way.

Time to go wild.

-

Of course, wild for them is... a bit different than what they think most kids their age would get up to.

A movie in the background, every unhealthy snack in their kitchen to gorge on, and some homework they need to catch up on. They did sneak a bottle of their mom's wine to split between them, but that's about as crazy as it gets. They've both had plenty of wild party days already.

"Do you get this chapter at all?" Janis asks after twenty minutes of staring at the same question on her English homework.

"Yeah," Veronica says. "Do you get this math assignment?"

"Caddy will," Janis says.

"Switch?" Veronica asks. Janis nods, so she passes over her worksheet. Janis hands over her copy of Paradise Lost and her English notebook. Veronica dives right in to answer the question in Janis' messy handwriting while Janis pulls out her phone to text her girlfriend for help.

"We should do this for tests," Janis says. "I might've passed my last English exam if you'd have been around."

"Yeah, and then what would I be stuck with?" Veronica snorts. "How are you still so bad at English if you read so much?"

"Shut up, I'm dyslexic!" Janis humphs.

"You are?" Veronica asks. Janis nods. Veronica's eyes go wide. "Holy shit."

"What?"

"I only got into reading so much because of Martha," Veronica explains. "She read all these dumb romance novels in middle school."

"And got you hooked on 'em?" Janis snorts.

"Shut up," Veronica says, blushing a brilliant shade of pink. "But... I hated reading when I was a kid because it was always too hard."

"Dad didn't get you checked out?" Janis asks quietly.

"I never said anything," Veronica shrugs. That's one difference between them. As soon as Janis has a problem she will yell about it to anyone who'll listen to her. "I did well enough in school that it just never came up, I guess."

"Wait, then how are you so good at English if we're both dyslexic?"

"I don't think the dyslexia is the problem, Jan," Veronica snorts.

"Hey!" Janis huffs. "I'm helping you with your math."

"By having a smart girlfriend," Veronica accuses.

"Exactly! How could I have gotten such a brilliant girl if I'm not smart?" Janis says.

"Because she took pity on you," Veronica says dryly. "I never said you're not smart."

"You so did."

"I just said you're dumb. You can be both."

"...What?"

"Look at me. I have all A's and one B and I still opened the fridge directly into my face," Veronica explains.

"That's how you got that black eye?!" Janis cackles.

"Yes. Now text your girl toy, I need help," Veronica huffs as she scratches down the last word of Janis' homework.

"Fine. Meanie."

"Loser," Veronica retaliates. They both stick their tongues out at each other before they burst into giggles.

—-

After a phone call to Cady so Veronica can actually finish her math homework, they both sprawl on the floor of their living room side by side and stare up at the ceiling in a wine-drunk haze.

"What was Mom like when you were little?" Veronica asks completely out of nowhere.

"Uh... she was cool," Janis says. "She worked a lot, but she always made time for me. We'd always make dinner together and talk about stuff. And she made up the best games. I know it was really rough on her being a single mom, but she... never let that on. She just... loved me. Showed it."

"Hm," Veronica hums pensively. "Sounds nice."

"Yeah. She's great," Janis says softly. "What was Dad like?"

"He's always been such a dork," Veronica snorts. "He loves crossword puzzles and those terrible mystery novels. But he somehow can never guess the endings. He used to carry me everywhere on his shoulders. And he'd always join whenever Martha and I had tea parties."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He wore the tutus and everything," Veronica chuckles. "He was great. He spent a lot of time making sure I got along with Alice and she treated me well before he even thought of marrying her and stuff. I used to think he could fix anything. He was my superhero."

"Are you ever mad at them for what they did to us?" Janis asks quietly. Veronica mulls this over before she nods.

"Sometimes," she agrees. "Are you?"

"Sometimes," Janis echoes. "I spent a lot of time alone as a kid. I think having my twin there would've made things a lot easier. And I always thought it was my fault dad could never come visit. I just thought he never wanted to."

"I thought mom didn't want me either," Veronica says. "He never explained why she couldn't come see me."

"Mom never really did either," Janis says. "She just said it hurt too much for them to get in contact so she left it to him to send me cards for my birthday and stuff."

"Dad said she wouldn't want to see him so she couldn't visit," Veronica says.

"What do you think happened between them?"

"I dunno," Veronica shrugs. "Must've been pretty serious. It had to have hurt knowing they might never see us together again, but they... did it anyway."

"Yeah," Janis says.

"Did you ever suspect anything?" Veronica asks.

"I guess so," Janis says. "Looking back, there's... some weird stuff that makes sense now. Like a bunch of my baby photos were cut in half."

"Yours too?!" Veronica gasps. "I wonder if we actually got the right ones. Maybe Mom kept mine and Dad took yours."

"Could be," Janis agrees with a shrug.

They're quiet for a while, before Veronica quietly says, "I'm kind of glad I had to move."

Janis gently squeezes her twin's hand and says, "I am too."

—————

They stay up much later than they should; watching dumb old movies and chasing each other around the house and eventually making drunk calls to various friends.

But, they do eventually have to go to sleep, and bid each other goodnight as they head to their own individual bedrooms.

Janis is awoken by the screaming, once again.

She's comes barreling into the room, looking for her sister. She's confused when Veronica isn't in her bed. The screams were definitely coming from in here, but where?

She pauses, and waits for more sound. Suddenly, she hears muffled sobs, coming from... the closet?

Gently, she opens the door, finding her twin huddled among the wrinkled clothes on the little bit of ground she has available and sobbing into a blue blazer Janis hasn't seen before.

"Vera," she says sadly, crouching down next to her. Veronica flinches almost out of her skin and scrambles away with a cry when she gently rests a hand on her arm. "Hey, hey, it's-"

"Get away!" Veronica yells. "Get out of my house!"

Janis frowns in confusion. This is her house too. Veronica doesn't recognize her. She doesn't know how to handle this, but she knows how to try, and that's all she can do for now.

"Vera, it's Janis. I don't know where you think you are right now or who you think you're with, but I promise you're safe. Nobody here wants to hurt you. You're in Evanston, Illinois. It's Saturday, and it's... 1:12 in the morning. It's raining outside, can you hear it?"

Veronica stays pressed against the wall, but she's stopped thrashing and seems to be at least trying to listen.

"It's October eleventh," Janis continues in a low tone. "You're not in Ohio. You're with me, your twin. We were studying together earlier, can you remember?"

Veronica gradually relaxes, the tension in her muscles fading and some clarity returning to her eyes as Janis continues speaking. Her voice is a low, monotone croak when she speaks again. "Janny?"

"Yeah," Janis says in relief. "It's me. You're safe."

"Wh-what happened?"

"I don't know," Janis replies. "I heard you screaming and found you in here. You didn't recognize me, you told me to get out of your house. Bit rude."

"Fuck," Veronica whispers harshly, the sound tearing out of her throat. She shoves past Janis out of the closet and rushes to her desk to grab her diary. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Whoa," Janis says, picking herself off the ground she's been rudely thrown to and sitting down on her sister's bed, watching in concern as Veronica paces back and forth and scribbles frantically in her diary. Janis isn't sure what she's writing, but she's pressing almost hard enough to shred the pages.

"Fuck!" Veronica growls, pitching the diary to the side and letting it slam against the wall with a loud, dull thump.

"Vera!" Janis yells. Veronica flinches and turns to look at her, like she'd forgotten Janis was still there. "What the hell is going on with you?"

"I can't," Veronica replies, still pacing and now digging her fingernails harshly into the delicate skin of her upper arm, hard enough to leave marks. "You need to leave."

"No," Janis says.

"What?"

"No," Janis repeats. "I get that it's hard for you to talk about. I get that you don't want to tell me, I know we're not as close as Mama wants us to be, I know you don't trust me, but fuck, Vera, I can't keep doing this! I can't keep waking up in the middle of night hearing you scream and worrying about whether or not you'll be here the next morning! I'm scared of you, and for you. Tell me what's going on."

Janis' admission stops Veronica in her tracks. Her own twin is scared of her?

Janis is concerned when Veronica breaks into sobs yet again, hunched over with the force of them. She stands, and gently rests a hand on Veronica's shoulder, guiding her to the aggressively blue bed. Her twin grabs the yellow stuffed bunny sitting by the pillows and clings to it like it has the weight to tether her to the earth.

Janis has had plenty of her own moments like this. Where she's had so much she wants to say, like the words are on the tip of her tongue, but try as she might, something in her gut holds her back.

Veronica needs time.

Janis is content to give it to her. They sit on the bed, barely able to see one another by the light of the moon streaming in through the blinds. Janis curls into a ball and watches the minutes continue to tick by. Minutes turn to hours, faster than either of them are ready for. Neither of them knows how long it's been by the time Veronica takes a shuddering breath and starts to speak.

"Okay," she mumbles, voice wavering with emotion and uncertainty. "You really want to know?"

Janis nods, as if to say, obviously.

"You can't tell anyone," Veronica continues. "Even-even Cady. Damian. Nobody."

"I won't," Janis promises, crossing her heart. "We're twins, aren't we supposed to, like, know all of each other's secrets instinctively? I won't tell anyone."

"I killed four people."

Janis chokes on air, making Veronica worry she might have a fifth on her hands for a second. "You what?! You?"

Veronica nods hollowly. "Heather was the first.

"I was a nobody, for years. Kindergarten 'til junior year. Everyone knew who I was, y'know, small school, but nobody really... knew me. Martha and I were... alone. We got bullied and stuff. And I didn't hate it like that, necessarily, but... I wanted more. And I wanted the bullying to stop. So I tried to join the Heathers. The Heathers were like your Plastics, but... worse. More serious drama, more eating disorders, more... more. I rescued them from a teacher in the bathroom on the first day of school."

Janis listens intently, wondering how this leads to murdering four fucking humans.

"I was part of them, from then on. An honorary Heather. Had my fucking... prison uniform I had to wear every day, I had to eat lunch with them, I had to abandon Martha, I had to go to all these fucking parties and drink these gross Jell-O shot things and fuck, Janny, it was awful," Veronica says hollowly. There's nothing behind her eyes, as Veronica is totally lost in her memory.

"We went to this Remington party. College party. Big deal. I-I... drank... way too much. Got sick. They-they wanted to... torment Martha, in front of everyone. They would've posted that shit everywhere, they would've ruined her. I stopped them. Was already on thin ice. Then I threw up on Chandler's shoes."

Janis can tell from her tone that this Chandler is probably Veronica's own personal Regina George. If not worse, somehow.

"And then told her to lick it up," Veronica says, laughing bitterly, harshly. "So, I was... a dead girl walking. I knew it. I left right then and walked home. But I got lost, and then... stopped in front of this boy's house. Jason fucking Dean."

The amount of venom in her tone when she says his name throws Janis for a loop. "Wh-what happened?"

"We fucked," Veronica says blankly. "A lot. Wasn't great. Woke up the next morning in a panic, because I knew Chandler was gonna crucify me on Monday if I didn't do something major to apologize. I said I had to go, tried to leave, but JD had to fucking come with me. Moral support. Bullshit.

"Made it to her house, and... she wanted a prairie oyster. Hangover cure. JD joked around and said it would be funny to give her drain cleaner instead. But he wasn't joking. He switched the mugs when I wasn't looking, I grabbed the wrong one."

Janis' eyes go wide as she starts to put together where the story is heading.

"I didn't realize what I'd done until she died clutching my leg," Veronica whispers. "She was fucking seventeen. Seventeen years old and I killed her like it was nothing. JD had me forge a suicide note and that was that. I pretended like I missed her at school. Acted like it was a suicide. Like I wasn't the one who put her in that fucking casket at her funeral.

"And I thought that was the end of it. But then Mac volunteered me to get date raped in her place by these two jock boys. I escaped, but... they still spread rumors. Told everyone I had taken both of them at the same time. It was too much for me. I cried, a lot. JD said we had to make them pay."

"God, Vera," Janis whispers.

"You know why I take German?" Veronica chuckles hollowly. "So nobody can trick me like him again. He told me he had these special bullets. World War Two relics, that just knocked the victim unconscious without killing them. Ich lüge bullets. So I lured them to the woods and we met them there. With a pistol, and these bullets. You know what ich lüge means?

"I lie. I fucking shot Ram Sweeney. He bled out in front of me and I did nothing. I couldn't, I didn't... didn't know what to do. I watched him die, Janis. JD took the gun and went after Kurt. God, it... it's so... the shot was so loud, Janis. I can... I still hear it, every time I close my eyes. I see them, with their fucking eyes all glazed over."

Janis stays quiet. This is somehow much more than she was expecting, even though she knew people would die going into the story.

"I broke up with him then," Veronica says bitterly. "Tried to. He was... he wasn't there anymore. I like to think that somewhere deep down he actually loved me. Wasn't just using me as an accomplice. But he wasn't sane anymore. So he decided I was next.

"He had gotten everyone to sign this fucking fake petition agreeing to die. I found out and he knew. Knew I would stop him, so he had to get me out of the way. He came over, climbed in through my window. And found me hanging in my closet."

So that's why she had been in the closet, why she yelled at Janis to get out of her house. A flashback.

"He was... ranting, and-and raving. I was terrified. I had to listen to it all and act like I was dead, like I didn't want to cut the noose and kill him with my bare hands. Like I didn't know there was a chance he'd notice it wasn't tight enough and kill me himself. But he didn't. Somehow.

"As soon as he left I cut myself down and just... ran to the school as fast as I could. There was a pep rally, it was gonna be on TV, everything. A big deal. I knew he was gonna try and make it bigger, somehow. I found him in the boiler room. With a bomb."

"He bombed your school?!"

"He tried to," Veronica says. "That one was just a small one to set off more in the gym. Everyone was supposed to die that night. I clocked him with my croquet mallet. Took his gun. I fucking... I shot him too, Janis. I shot him in the hand. I thought I killed him too, right then.

"But I hadn't. I don't know if it was adrenaline from bleeding out, or what, but... he kind of came to his senses. Kissed me, said it wasn't too late. For me. It was too late for him. I could save myself, I was worth saving. He wasn't. And then he took his bomb to the football field."

"Did he-"

Veronica suddenly lifts her shirt over her head, leaving her in just her sports bra. Janis can see her upper arms and the top of her chest, and realizes she hasn't seen them before.

Veronica is peppered with scars. Some big, some small, some with evidence of stitches, others that seemed to heal on their own. All of them are rough, jagged, irregular.

"Shrapnel." Veronica explains with a single word. "He set it off hugging it. I had his brains in my fucking hair. There wasn't even enough of him left to cremate, let alone bury. They just... mopped him up. Got new turf and moved on."

"Fucking hell, Vera," Janis breathes.

"There. I'm a murderer. That's why I'm this... fucked. Why I wake up screaming, why I have flashbacks, why I can't show my upper arms. Why I'm a freak."

"You're not a freak," Janis insists. "If you're a freak, then so am I."

"How could you possibly-"

Janis tugs her own shirt off, letting her twin see the mess of faded scars lining her arms, and stomach, and hips. She holds out her left arm so Veronica can see the deepest carving she did. Space dyke, permanently etched into her flesh. Not that it was meant to be spectacularly permanent when she did it.

"I've been there," Janis whispers. "I didn't... go through... anywhere near as much as you. But... I used to wake up screaming too. Had flashbacks. I have scars. None of those things make us freaks. It makes us... hurt. We've just been hurt, that's all it means. We have trauma. Trauma that wasn't our faults, wasn't caused by anything we did. But trauma we have to work through. It doesn't make us any less human. Or any less loved."

"Mine was my fault, Janny," Veronica whispers. "I killed them."

"No, you didn't," Janis insists. "You were manipulated, Vera. You had no idea what you were doing. You didn't want those people dead, even after everything they did to you. Everything you told me was his fault. He tricked you, he lied to you. Vera, he fucking abused you. None of those deaths were your fault. You were an accessory at best."

"I've always been shit at accessorizing," Veronica mumbles hollowly. "I could still be arrested. There's a lot... a lot of evidence. I'd be in for life."

"Which is why we won't tell anyone," Janis promises. "You can trust me."

Veronica looks visibly relieved for the first time all night at Janis' words. Her shoulders relax fully, and she gives the smallest thankful grin she can muster.

"Um..."

"What?" Janis asks, concerned there's more.

"If I can trust you with that," Veronica mumbles. "I still... see them."

"See who?"

"Them," Veronica repeats. Janis' eyes widen in understanding. "I don't know if they're ghosts or hallucinations, but... they're still here."

"Cool, so you see dead people," Janis hums. "Cool. Cool cool cool."

"Hey," a quiet, echoey voice says suddenly. Janis shrieks and leaps into her twin.

"Vera?" she asks shakily. "I... I see them too."

"I'm not crazy!" Veronica cheers, throwing Janis off her lap by accident in her celebration. "Sorry Janny. Guys, don't be rude. Introduce yourselves."

"What the fuck what the fuck what the-" Janis repeats under her breath as four forms hover before her.

The first is a girl, clad all in red even down to the scrunchie in her ginger curls. Janis can... see through her, slightly, allowing her to see that her mouth and throat are stained an unnatural, chemical blue. It drips from the corners of her mouth and down her chin.

The next two are almost naked, revealing more skin than Janis has ever wanted to see from a man. One has a bullet hole through his chest, and the other has one in his head. The area around each is stained red with the ghost equivalent of blood, but they don't seem particularly fussed by them.

And the last one is in a trench coat, glaring the twins down. He's covered head to toe in ash and soot, and Janis thinks she can even distantly smell the acrid scent of burned flesh.

"I'm Heather Chandler," the girl says, apparently having decided to speak up first. "Pleasure to meet the Wonder Twins."

"I'm Kurt Kelly," one of the Tighty Whitie Twins says.

"I'm Ram Sweeney."

"And we're not gay for each other!"

"We're not?"

"Dude!" Kurt huffs. "...Maybe."

"Jason Dean," the final phantom says with a sly, infuriatingly smug grin. "Pleasure."

"Okay," Janis says, trying to process several existential crises at once. "Um, just... collectively. Fuck you guys! The fuck?! What the hell were you thinking, you're all assholes! If you weren't already dead I'd kick your ghost asses from here to kingdom co-"

She gets cut off as Veronica gently slams a hand over her mouth. "Just give her some time, guys."

"Why can she see us?" Kurt asks. "I thought you were the only one."

"I don't know," Veronica shrugs. "Maybe... maybe because we're twins. Our spirits are tied together, or some bullshit like that. In tune enough that she can see you too."

"Yeah, that makes sense," Heather says sarcastically. "Can we go now?"

"Sure, Chandy," Veronica chuckles.

"Don't call me that," Heather says before she fades away, leaving Janis wondering if she was actually there in the first place. The other three follow suit, and they're alone once more.

"Wh-"

"It's best if you don't question it," Veronica shrugs.

"I just saw ghosts!" Janis insists. "Can they still hear us?"

"I don't think so," Veronica says. "They're kinda like an Alexa. You have to call on them. But they could, I don't really know."

Janis blinks at her. Veronica laughs in spite of everything.

"Um... I'm fine now. You can go back to bed."

"Nah," Janis smirks. "I'm staying."

And she does. They stay up a little bit longer talking, before they both drift off huddled together.

—————

A few months later comes a much needed art freaks movie night.

"Hey, Cads," Damian greets, leading Cady down the hall to the living room. Cady pauses in her tracks when she sees Janis and Veronica both clad in identical hoodies with their hair hidden and faces clean of makeup. They're even in the same pants and socks, and their hands are tucked into their sleeves so Cady can't see their nails.

"Oh god," she groans.

"They did it to me when I got here," Damian sighs, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring the twins down.

"Think you can tell us apart?" one of them says with a smile.

"Damian got it wrong," the other one chuckles. "Do you think you can do better?"

"Mm," Cady hums. "Let's see."

She heads over and leans in close to the both of them, her eyes darting back and forth between their faces. Cady knows she doesn't really have a shot based on looks alone; since they're almost perfectly identical physically. She's hoping that one of them will give her a tell that the other doesn't have.

Sure enough, the one on the left blushes a bit when Cady gets close and looks her in the eye. Janis still does that every time Cady gets up in her space. She also has the familiar smell of paint and apples faintly emanating from her; while the other smells like fresh ink and ocean-scented perfume.

Cady smiles to herself as she realizes she has them down, and decides to play her own little joke on them. She gently cups Veronica's cheek and leans in, acting like she's going in for a kiss.

Veronica recoils and Janis starts to say, "Caddy, no!" before she's cut off by Cady's lips on hers. Cady laughs against her lips before she pulls back.

"Gotcha," she grins. "That'll teach you."

"Hey," Janis pouts. "That's mean."

"Oh, like this wasn't?" Cady chuckles.

"How'd you know who was who?" Veronica asks as she takes her hood down and fluffs her hair out.

"You guys smell different," Cady shrugs. "And this one still blushes every time she gets close to me."

"No I don't!" Janis huffs. Cady rolls her eyes and gently leans in. She's not even touching her, but Janis still flushes a cute shade of pink. Veronica snorts.

"You so do! Dork," she laughs.

"Hey!" Janis says. "You asshole, that's-"

Cady takes advantage of her head being turned to kiss Janis' cheek. Janis squeaks quietly and pauses her tirade on her sister. Cady smirks. "Hi."

"Hi," Janis says softly.

"You're welcome, Veronica," Cady chuckles. She settles on Janis' lap to pin her girlfriend down just in case. Veronica laughs again.

"Yeah, thanks, Cady," she says.

"You wanna join us for movie night?"

"Uh..." Veronica glances at her sister. "If you guys want me to."

"Of course we do!" Damian says.

"Then sure," Veronica says with a faint smile.

"Girls!" Janis and Veronica's mother calls. "And children who never spend time at their own homes."

"Hi, Ms. Sarkisian," Cady says with a smile. Ms. Sarkisian smiles back.

"Hi, Cady. Girls, I found an old tape of you two in the attic, if you'd like to watch it."

"What's on it?" Veronica asks. It's dated Winter-Spring 2001/2002, when they would've been roughly six months to a year old.

"I have no idea," their mother says. "You'll have to watch it and let me know. I'm off to work."

"Bye," the twins say at the same time, each getting a kiss on the forehead. Damian and Cady smile as they each get a pinched cheek and the woman is out the door.

"Do we even have a VCR?" Veronica asks. Janis nods.

"We still use a lot of DVD's. Our DVD player has both," she explains. "We can watch it later."

"Noooo," Cady pleads. "I need to see baby Janis."

"No."

"Pleeeeease?" Cady begs. Janis does her best to resist Cady's infamous puppy eyes. She groans quietly as she feels herself about to give in.

"Veronica has to say yes too!" she comes up with at the last possible second.

"I don't care," Veronica shrugs with a snort. "I was a cute baby."

"Dammit."

"Yes!" Cady cheers.

Everyone takes their places on the couch as Veronica puts the tape in and Janis figures out how to get it playing.

The camera cuts on, and shows a very blurry zoomed-in image of a baby. Janis and Veronica both smile as they hear their mother's voice. "How does this work? Is it- oh, it's recording. Okay, I'm making a video of the twins. Everyone always asks how we tell them apart, and I think that someday I might not remember how we used to do this. So, for posterity. Oh, wow, that's really zoomed in. Theeeere we go!"

The baby in question wiggles in delight at the attention on her. Not even Janis and Veronica can tell which of them it is.

"Oh my god," Cady says. She sounds almost choked, like she's physically biting back a squeal. "You guys were so cute."

"This is Veronica," the video says. Now-Veronica smiles a little wider. "Veronica is the happiest baby you've ever seen." A hand suddenly materializes from behind the camera and tickles her chin to coax that famous laugh. "She's only ever grumpy when she's hungry."

"Still true," Janis says.

"Bitch!" Veronica scoffs. Janis raises an eyebrow and hands her an Oreo. Veronica takes it with a grumbled, "Shut up."

"And then this one," the video continues, panning up to baby Janis crawling and trying to climb into her toy box. "Is my problem child."

Everyone laughs except Janis, who just humphs and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Victoria," their mother says in the video. "Hey. Victoria. Tori. Vicky. Victoria Janis, look at me!" Baby Janis only responds to her middle name, snapping her head up to look at her with an impish smile. "Hi, wild girl. Come here."

Baby Janis crawls to the camera at breakneck speeds and sits next to her twin with a smile and a little exerted noise.

"Damn, Janis," Damian chuckles. "Speed demon."

"Glad that changed," Cady chuckles, looking at Janis lounging against her like a little slug. Janis just grunts and cuddles closer.

"Baby me had shit to do. I just finished it all."

"They're already correcting us when we mix them up," their mom says. "Girls, who's Veronica?"

Baby Janis eagerly pats her twin, and baby Veronica squeals again. Their mother laughs from behind the camera.

"Good job! Where's Victoria?"

Veronica practically tackles her sister. Their mother just barely manages to drop the camera and catch her before baby Janis can be knocked over.

"Ronnie, gentle," their mother laughs. "She's a little aggressive sometimes."

"Yeah, Ronnie," Janis pouts. "Be gentle."

"Not my fault you were the weakling," Veronica hums with a shrug. Janis scoffs and shoves her. Veronica retaliates, and sends her sister into Cady and Damian like dominoes.

"Alright, alright," Cady says with a laugh. "Break it up."

"Hmph," Janis grumbles, cuddling closer into her girlfriend to get away from her sister. Cady protectively holds her closer and looks back to the video.

"Alright, let's see..." their mother says. "They aren't super different physically. We usually try to tell by their temperaments. But we also paint their toenails just in case."

The video zooms in on chubby little feet to show that their big toenails are decorated with different colors of nail polish. Janis' is green, and Veronica's is blue.

"Tori also has a little freckle right underneath her eyebrow," their mother says, holding the camera very close and very unfocused against baby Janis' face. Everybody laughs as little fingers suddenly appear on the lens and she tries to munch on the camera.

Now-Janis recoils a bit when they switch to checking if her freckle is still present. "You do still have it!" Cady says, gently resting a finger right beneath it. "It's just tiny."

"You're all very close," Janis says. Everyone but Cady pulls back, and they all laugh as Janis blushes again.

"Aww, your mom was so pretty!" Damian says suddenly. They all look back at the TV to see that the camera is now facing Janis and Veronica's mother.

"Oh, gosh," she says, brushing her hair to the side and wincing a bit. "You girls have been tough on me, huh?" One of the babies squeals in apparent agreement. "Okay, this is the easiest way to tell the twins apart."

Baby Janis suddenly appears in her arms. She smiles contently and looks around, seeming totally chill with just being held.

"Victoria loves to be carried," their mother explains, looking at the baby with a smile. "She's happy doing her own thing, but she also loves to hang out with anyone she can. She'd stay here all day if I'd let her."

Janis is swapped for Veronica. Veronica almost immediately starts wiggling and trying to climb out of her mothers arms.

"This one cannot stand it. She's growling at me," Sure enough, some little growls can be heard coming from Veronica. She eventually resorts to going totally limp, flopped backwards over their mother's arm and looking at the camera upside down. Her lip is curled up in a half-snarl, half-smile as she gives another desperate grunt. "Not a big cuddler."

Cady and Damian look at the twins now. Janis is lounged such that every part of her body is in contact with someone else, while Veronica is tucked as close to the arm of the couch as she can get and is actively leaning away.

"You guys really haven't changed all that much," Damian snorts. Janis bends her arm at a strange angle to give him a weak whack. "Ow!"

"Weakling," Janis and Veronica say at the same time.

"Alright, it's nap time for these two," their mother says as she puts Veronica down and picks the camera up again. "Say bye-bye, girls." Both babies wave bye, unknowingly to their future selves.

The clip cuts to another. The date in the corner is a few months later, just a few weeks shy of their first birthday.

One baby is sitting in front of what looks to be a closet of some sort, in the middle of a massive pile of jackets, coats, and sweaters. She's managed to get one on that most definitely does not belong to her.

"Tori, look at Mama," their mother's voice says. Baby Janis does with a cheesy grin. "What are you doing?"

"Daddy!" baby Janis explains, pushing herself to stand and toddling towards the camera with the jacket flowing like an elaborate cape behind her. Cady makes a very strange noise at hearing Janis' baby voice; somehow a laugh, sob and squeal all at once.

"Yeah, you found Daddy's jacket, huh?" their mother says.

"Wait, Jan, isn't that your jacket with the eyeballs on it?" Damian asks.

"Yeah, it is," Janis says with a smile. "I never knew it was his."

"Oh, here comes Ronnie," the voice behind the camera says as Veronica toddles up to the pile of jackets on the floor and grabs one. "Tori, you're corrupting your sister."

"Yeah, Tori," Veronica teases. "Look at what you've done."

"Shut up!" Janis scoffs with a laugh. "We totally switched places, I'm the innocent one now."

"You set the toaster on fire this morning."

"Not on purpose!"

"You're still totally the problem kid," Veronica chuckles. "I was way cuter."

"Oh please, we look like the same person," Janis huffs. "You can't even tell who's who."

"You're both so cute," Cady says, muffled by her hands over her mouth.

"Caddy, are you crying?" Janis asks with a chuckle.

"You were so tiny!" Cady defends. "It's not every day you get to see your girlfriend as a baby. Look at you."

"I have that jacket," Veronica says, frowning at her baby self on the screen; clad in a much too large denim jacket. "Dad said he found it for my birthday."

"Now Ronnie's in my jacket," their mother chuckles. "Goofy girls."

"It's Mom's?" Veronica asks quietly. A faint smile grows on her face. "That's my favorite jacket."

"Daddy?" baby Janis repeats. Cady makes the sound again and holds her hands against her face in disbelief at how cute her baby girlfriend was.

"Where is Daddy? You wanna go show him?" their mother asks. Tiny Janis nods and goes padding off to find her father. Veronica goes tearing after her as best she can on unsteady legs. The camera shakes as their mother stands up and follows after them.

The sound of a man laughing can be heard just before the camera pans up to baby Janis being tossed in the air by her dad. "Hi, Tori! Nice coat!"

"Daddy," baby Janis repeats.

"Yeah, you look killer, kiddo," her dad chortles. He grabs Veronica by a little arm and hauls her up too, holding both of them side by side. Now-Janis smiles seeing her little self being loved on by her father. "You'll grow into it."

"I'm taking that jacket back, Ronnie," their mother teases, tickling baby Veronica's tummy. "That's mine, you little stinker."

"Feels telling for our futures, eh?" their dad chuckles. They can hear their mother sigh behind the camera.

"As long as they stay this cute, I think I'm okay with it," she says. Now-Janis and Veronica look at each other. They both nod confidently and look back to the screen.

There's no goodbye for that clip, it simply cuts off and into the next one. Both Janis and Veronica frown a little bit as this one is bits and pieces of their first birthday party. To think of how many birthdays they had apart, none the wiser to the existence of the other.

Their parents aren't actively filming them this time, instead leaving the camera rolling on a nearby counter and, for once, both being on the other side of it.

It's obvious to everyone watching that things have already started to go a certain way for their parents. They seem to tense if they get within a few feet of each other and quickly look away if they happen to lock eyes.

In spite of that, they're clearly both delighted by Janis and Veronica. It's just as obvious that they absolutely adore both of them.

Damian and Cady just watch as each of their modern day counterparts point out their relatives that the other hasn't gotten to meet yet. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, family friends. So many people who knew, and yet... they didn't, somehow.

They watch as their first birthday song is sung to them and their parents blow out their candles in their stead. Once they're removed, baby Janis dives right in and smushes her hands into her birthday cake. She grabs large fistfuls of it and, obviously, puts it right in her mouth.

"Oh, you like that, uh oh," their father chuckles. "Is that yummy cake?"

"Yummyyyyy," baby Janis echoes happily. She grabs another handful and reaches out towards her dad, offering him some. He laughs and takes a small taste from the chubby fist.

"Thanks, Tori," he chuckles. "What's wrong, Ronnie?"

Baby Veronica has been sitting politely in her high chair next to her twin, watching the entire cake smash go down but refusing to touch her own.

"You don't want your birthday cake? It's yummy! Look at your sister," their mother says. Veronica does. She seems very concerned by Janis' frosting covered face and hands.

Their mom gently takes one of Veronica's hands and swipes a little finger through the frosting. Veronica looks curiously at it as it's brought to her mouth and hesitantly sucks the frosting off. She squeaks happily at the sugary taste and smushes the other hand into her cake. Only when she pulls away with a handful does she realize it's definitely not a texture she wants all over her hand and bursts into tears.

"Oh, baby," their mother chuckles sadly. Veronica gets picked up and comforted while Janis somehow manages to eat a solid half of her cake.

There's a few more clips of the party. Opening presents, a few games, and some well wishes from various relatives and friends.

Janis and Veronica's faces both fall when the scene suddenly changes again. The date is about six months later, and the time shows it's practically the middle of the night. The two of them are just barely visible in the nearly pitch darkness. They're cuddled up together in the same crib, and someone can be heard crying quietly behind the camera.

"Veronica and I are leaving tomorrow," their father's voice whispers shakily. "I really hope your mother and I are making the right choice here."

Baby Janis stirs as he gently strokes a large hand through her hair. He quickly pulls back and sniffles as she cuddles closer into Veronica.

"I don't know when I'm going to get to see you together again," he continues quietly. "You won't sleep unless you're together. I don't know how we're going to do this. But we're going to, and we'll be okay. I hope... I hope someday you girls get to know about each other. And I hope that you know your mother and I love both of you so, so much."

Everyone's silent as the tape ends and abruptly cuts to black. Nobody moves, nobody says anything. They're not entirely sure anybody breathes.

"I need a second," Janis says after a couple minutes, standing and rushing off to the kitchen for some privacy. She splashes some cold water on her face and tries to breathe around the heavy lump in her throat.

Veronica slams into the kitchen after her and goes right for the fridge. Janis pats her face dry with a towel and watches in concern as Veronica chugs an entire bottle of water and pulls away with a growl.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fucking fantastic," Veronica huffs.

"Sorry," Janis mumbles, hanging the towel back up.

"How could they possibly think that was the best solution?" Veronica asks. "I could've had a mother my whole life, but they-they-"

"They had a tough choice to make-"

"And they chose wrong," Veronica growls. "Don't you dare try to defend them."

"I'm going to! They're our parents!" Janis yells. "We have no idea what they went through with each other, or with us. We have no idea what led them to the choice they did. It sucked, but we can't do anything about it now except live with it."

"You can't tell me you aren't just as pissed as me, don't try to act like you're so high and mighty," Veronica scoffs.

"I'm not!" Janis retaliates. "I am pissed, I think this is a really shitty thing they did to us! But I can't blame them for making a misguided decision in whatever circumstances they were in!"

"Whatever they were going through doesn't excuse the shit they pulled on us," Veronica says through grit teeth.

"Oh, yeah, and whatever you were going through doesn't excuse you killing a bunch of people, then? You can't fucki-"

"Oh, that's low," Veronica says with a hollow laugh. Something about it scares Janis more than she cares to admit. She's never seen her sister like this. "Even for you."

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Janis yells. "Why are you acting like this?!"

"Because I'm fucking rightly upset about some shitty circumstances I went through that I didn't have to! It's not my fault I got stuck with a fucking pushover like you! I'm glad we're only identical in looks."

"Jesus," Janis laughs ironically. "Come find me when you get a fucking clue, Vera."

Janis stalks off back to her friends, leaving Veronica alone in the kitchen to mull over what just happened.

"You okay?" Cady asks gently. She looks almost like she's scared of the answer. Janis thinks she might be too.

Janis nods, but she feels her face crumple as she does. She's in tears again before she knows it. Cady pouts and reaches out for her. Janis sinks into her embrace and cries, even as Damian leans in against her back and gently rubs her shoulder.

She knew they were bound to fight at some point. It's only natural for siblings. She just wasn't expecting it to hurt so badly when they did. Something about knowing it's her twin that's upset with her hurts in a special way she's never experienced before. Like part of herself is somehow upset with her. Like that part of her is just... gone, altogether.

She can only hope it comes back. Can only hope they work this out. Sure, it was only an argument, but it was a big one.

Cady holds her as she cries, and Damian comforts by simply leaning his comforting weight against her back. Janis briefly feels even worse. Veronica's comfort people are all in Ohio. She only calms down when she hears Veronica in the kitchen on her phone. She must be talking to either Mac or Martha. She hopes they can help her.

She gradually stops crying. Cady gently strokes away her leftover tears and presses the softest kiss to the corner of her lips. "You'll be fine, I promise. Let's watch a movie."

—-

They watch several, until both Damian and Cady have to go home. Veronica walks by in complete silence at one point and goes up to her bedroom.

Janis is still reeling from earlier. Entirely too many thoughts are whirling in her head. So, she heads downstairs to her studio and decides to paint them out.

"Hi," a muffled voice says. Janis jumps and whirls around to see Heather floating a few inches above the couch on the other side of her easel.

"Jesus!" she says. "Hey, Heather. Is Vera-"

"She's fine. She's asleep," Heather says. "Nice place."

"Uh... thanks?" Janis says in confusion.

"You don't have to be afraid of me. I literally can't do anything to you," Heather says. "I can't do anything to anything."

"You can't, like, make stuff float?" Janis asks.

"I could do that, maybe," Heather agrees. "But I'm too weak to do much else."

"Weak?" Janis questions, tucking her paintbrush behind her ear and coming over to her.

"Spirits aren't really... designed to stick around on Earth after death," Heather explains. "We get weaker every day we aren't released to the afterlife. Everyone starts out with different levels of strength. I died young, so I'm stronger than a lot of spirits, but I don't have anything I left unfinished in my life that I need strength to stick around for. I'm fading fast."

"Is Veronica gonna lose you, then?" Janis asks sadly.

"No," Heather says. "I'll just get weaker as time goes on."

"Then why don't you leave? To the... afterlife, or whatever? If you're so tired and weak?" Janis asks.

"She's not ready," Heather murmurs softly. "That's part of why I'm here."

Janis waits for her to continue, but she doesn't. "...Okay?"

"I need you to promise me you'll take care of her," Heather says. "She needs someone. She needs you."

"I promise," Janis says. "Of course."

Heather nods a bit. Fiddles with the cushion on the couch. Janis wonders how much she can actually feel. "She's a pillowcase. But she can be something big someday. She just needs someone by her side. Mac is... beyond good for her, but she... she needs you."

"I'll take care of her," Janis says. "I promise."

"Good," Heather says with a sigh of relief. "Good. I know you're mad at each other, but... don't let this ruin it."

"I won't if she won't," Janis says. "It's a stupid argument."

"It is," Heather agrees quietly. "I just... know how much damage stupid arguments can do."

Janis nods empathetically. "I'm... really sorry about what happened to you."

"Me too," Heather says softly. "But I'm not sure things would've been much better if I'd survived."

"What do you mean?" Janis asks. It should be weird, making conversation with a ghost. Weirder than it is. Janis feels like she's just talking to a new friend. Who happens to be translucent.

"JD would've still been around, I don't know if he would have come after me again if I survived the Drain-O," Heather begins. "I died quickly. I barely felt it. He might've done something else. And, I mean, look at what happened to your friend."

"Regina?" Janis says. "She's fine."

"To you," Heather says. "She got hit by a bus going twenty miles an hour. She's probably got all sorts of pain that'll never go away. I'm glad she got a chance to make amends and build new relationships with you guys, but she's probably suffering in ways that'll never leave her. I'm... I think I'd rather be dead."

Janis is quiet. Truth be told, she hadn't thought about what Regina would be going through after the bus. But Heather is right. Regina had at least four surgeries, two of them emergencies to save her life. Her spine broke, among numerous other internal injuries. The more sadistic part of her might be glad Regina's hurting in such a way. But now... it just makes her sad.

"I'm not trying to excuse what she did to you. Veronica told me what happened. Well, I kinda... made her tell me. I'm sorry that happened to you," Heather says. "But... I really think you should let her, if she tries to apologize and make amends with you personally."

"I will," Janis agrees quietly. "Did you get to do that with anyone?"

"The people that really matter," Heather nods. "You don't have to worry about me. I'm content. Whenever Ronnie's ready to... to let me go, I'll... be ready."

"You don't seem ready," Janis says, trying not to sound accusatory.

"I don't have a choice," Heather snaps. Janis holds her hands up in immediate surrender. "Sorry. I didn't mean that."

"It's fine," Janis says. "Sorry for pushing your buttons."

"You really are like that pillowcase," Heather says. Her tone doesn't match the affectionate look in her eyes.

"Am I?"

"Yeah," Heather snorts. She seems so regal, even as a ghost in what appears to be lingerie. Janis laughs hearing such a sound come from her. "You're both huge fucking nerds."

"Hey!" Janis laughs.

"It just... as soon as we met you it made sense that you're twins, even though you've been separated for so long," Heather continues.

"I think that's how we both felt too," Janis says. "I see why she wanted to be friends with you."

"I don't know that you do," Heather admits. "Anyway. Sorry I kept you from your painting."

"It's fine," Janis says. "I'm glad I got to talk to you."

"Me too," Heather says.

Janis stands and starts packing up her things. Heather stays, seeming to want to linger in the land of the living for just a bit longer. Watching Janis has to be slightly more interesting than watching Veronica sleep.

"Can I ask you something?" Janis asks as she screws the lid on her last tube of paint.

"I dunno, can you?" Heather hums haughtily.

"Bitch," Janis snorts.

"Yes, thank you, glad you caught on," Heather says. "Shoot."

"Are you scared?"

"Scared of what?"

"...Whatever comes next for you," Janis asks, not entirely sure how to phrase what she's trying to ask. Heather pauses, floating aimlessly a few inches off the ground.

"Not... really," she says after a few minutes. "Not of moving on. I'm already dead, I think the hard part's done with."

"But...?"

"But I'm scared of what I'll miss," Heather admits softly. "The things I'll never see. Friends I'll never see again. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye for a lot of people. And I've... kind of had to come to terms with the fact I'm not going to. And I'm terrified of never getting to see her again."

"Her?"

"Veronica."

"Do you... are-are you..."

"Yes," Heather admits.

"You should tell her," Janis says sadly.

"It'd only hurt her more," Heather says with a shake of her head. "And she has Mac now. She has her person."

"I hope you're happy wherever you end up."

"You too," Heather says honestly. "Goodnight, Janis."

"Goodnight, Heather."

—————

Janis resumes her painting the next morning after a fitful night of poor sleep. She looks up and back down quickly when Veronica comes quietly padding down the stairs.

"Hey," Veronica says sheepishly.

"Hi."

"Can we talk?"

"Sure," Janis sighs, putting down her brush and looking at her sister. "Talk."

"I'm sorry," Veronica says. "I was totally out of line last night."

"Yeah, you were," Janis agrees.

"I don't think I'm wrong for being mad at them, but... not to that extent," Veronica continues. "And I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I was a major asshole."

"You were," Janis says again. "But I'm stuck with you, so I guess I can forgive you."

"So gracious," Veronica snorts. Janis leans in and rests her head against her shoulder.

"Lucky for you."

"Get off, loser," Veronica laughs.

"No," Janis says, leaning in even closer in spite of her sister trying to shove her away. She loosens all her muscles so Veronica is just trying to push away her dead weight. Eventually she gives up and lets Janis stay for a while. "...Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" Veronica asks in confusion. Janis watches as she tries and fails to surreptitiously dry her sweaty palms on her pants.

"I've never seen you like you were yesterday. Was scary," Janis explains. "Did something happen?"

"No," Veronica says, too quick to be believed. Janis doesn't press her anyway. "I just... snapped. But I'm fine. Swear."

"You should tell Mama if somethings going on," Janis says quietly.

"Nothing is happening! I'm fine!" Veronica huffs. Her hand tightens uncomfortably around Janis' knee. Janis resists the urge in her gut to pull away.

"Okay, okay, jeez," Janis says. "Chill."

"Sorry. But seriously, I'm fine," Veronica says.

"You've been distant lately, too," Janis mumbles. "Did I do something?"

"No, Jan, seriously," Veronica sighs. "You're fine, I'm fine. It's fine, just forget it."

Janis doesn't think she can. "Fine. You wanna see if Cads and Dame can come over for a real movie night?"

"Sounds tits."

"Yes!" Janis cheers.

—————

"Hey, Jan?" Veronica asks one evening, poking her head through Janis' open door.

"Yeah?" Janis asks, looking up from her phone at her twin.

"I'm going home to visit dad for spring break, do you wanna come with me? Mom said we could take the car," Veronica says. She steps in a little further and stands aimlessly a few feet into Janis' room.

"Yeah, sure," Janis says, trying to hide her rejoicing at a chance to see her father. She's tried to hide it, but she's very jealous that her twin has gotten so much time with both of their parents. She doesn't blame them for it, but their parents made a really shitty choice for their custody arrangement. "Just us?"

"Yeah, Mom has work she can't miss that week," Veronica says with a shrug. "She said she trusts us."

"Bad choice," Janis snorts. "Yeah, I'll go. Sounds fun."

"Tits," Veronica grins.

"Ha!" Janis calls as Veronica leaves her room with a groan. "I told you it'd catch on!"

"Shut up!" Veronica yells from next door.

"Girls, be nice!" Their mother yells at them from downstairs.

"Sorry, Mom!"

——

The six hour drive flies by for Janis. They're going to one of the most boring states in the nation, which Veronica strongly protested with several 'interesting' factoids about her mother state. The world's largest basket doesn't sound intrigue Janis all that much, but she does have to admit that the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame sounds interesting. But a whole week with her dad and his side of the family is the real catch for Janis.

"Hey, ladies," he calls with a wave when they pull into the driveway. "How was your drive?"

"Good," Veronica says, giving their dad a quick hug before she goes to get their stuff from the trunk.

"Janis!" he greets, giving her a squeeze.

"Hi, dad," Janis says, leaning in a little more when he tries to let her go. He wraps her up again and gently rubs her back.

"How ya doing, kiddo?"

"Good," Janis says, taking a deep breath before she pulls back. Her dad smells like teakwood and old leather. His sweater is soft, just like the hand he massages over her back.

"Good," he says with a grin and a ruffle of her hair. "You two go get settled in, I'm working on dinner."

"I'll show you around after," Veronica says as she carries a bag past her. "Sherwood grand tour."

"Cool," Janis grins.

—-

Veronica gives a very detailed tour, along with Mac, who they'd picked up along the way. Janis gets to see their favorite restaurants, which make up a solid seventy percent of the attractions around, the local 7-11, a giant field of terrifying concrete corn, lots of real corn with some scattered soybeans for variety, and the outskirts of the closest city.

"You wanna see Westerburg?" Veronica asks. There's something in her eyes Janis hasn't seen before. Must be excitement.

"Really? You wanna go back?" Janis asks softly.

"Yeah, why not?" Veronica says with an uncharacteristic shrug. "I've been away for a while. I think it'll be good for me."

"It's late, Blueberry, I think you should wait," Mac says anxiously from the backseat. "And I have to go home."

"I'll be fine, Noodle," Veronica sighs. "I'm not made of glass. Let's get you home."

"I'm not saying you are, I'm just saying you need to be careful with yourself," Mac explains. "But if you have Janis there I guess it'll be fine. Just call me if you need anything, okay?"

"I'll keep an eye on her," Janis teases. Veronica shoves her with a hand before focusing on driving again. "Hey!"

They can both almost hear Mac rolling her eyes in the backseat as they head through the gates into her neighborhood. Veronica sighs, "I'll be fine, Mickey. You don't need to worry."

"If you say so," Mac says. She leans forward for a goodbye kiss from her girlfriend when they pull into her long driveway. "Bye. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Veronica whispers against her lips. She gives her one more smooch before she pulls back. "Love you."

"Love you too. Bye Janis," Mac says, climbing out of the car and rushing into her house.

"Bye," Janis says.

"You ready?" Veronica asks, turning to look at her for a second before she reverses out of the driveway.

"I doubt it," Janis chuckles. "Are you?"

"I think so," Veronica says quietly.

"Does Mac know?"

"Know what?"

"About the ghosts," Janis clarifies.

"Oh. Yeah, she does," Veronica says. "Well, she knows about Heather. They had some stuff to clear up. Sometimes Heather makes me call her just so they can talk. But the others don't really have a reason to show themselves to her."

"That makes sense," Janis says. Veronica nods, and they continue the drive in silence.

—-

The school is dark when they pull into the massive, empty parking lot. It's one of those places that feels like a completely different dimension. Schools after dark are always weird.

The doors are locked when Veronica tries to open them, and she's too paranoid about cameras to try to pick one so Janis can have a tour of the inside.

"I have an idea, come on," Veronica says. Janis follows her as fast as she can when Veronica breaks into a run.

"Vera, Jesus," she pants. "I'm gay, don't do this to me." Veronica just laughs and goes faster. "Come on, man!" Eventually, they come to a stop. "The football field? Are you sure? Isn't this where-"

"I have to go back," Veronica insists. Janis watches as she kicks off her shoes and starts climbing the chain link fence. "You coming?"

"I-I guess," Janis says. She follows suit and struggles through the whole fence climbing thing much more than her sister did. "Goddamn."

"Nicely done," Veronica says. "Come on."

Janis follows her to the middle of the field, where a big W is painted in red. It's almost spooky, with only the stars and moon to light their way and only their twin for company.

"What do you think?"

"It's... nice, I guess," Janis says in confusion. "It's just a football field to me."

"It is, isn't it?" Veronica asks in a strange tone of voice. It startles Janis enough that she looks up from the W and at her sister.

"V-Vera, what is that?" Janis asks shakily. "What are you doing?"

Veronica doesn't say anything. Janis looks frantically between the large knife in her hand and her blank, hollow eyes.

"Veronica," Janis begs. "Listen to me. Whatever you're thinking of doing with that, don't. I-I know you're not here right now, but you have to try to come back. Fight this off."

"We're what killed the dinosaurs," Veronica mumbles to herself. Janis continues taking slow steps backwards, away from her sister.

"Janis," Heather suddenly says, materializing next to Janis' twin. "Something's wrong with her."

"Yeah, clearly!" Janis scoffs.

"No, I mean something's wrong that hasn't happened before! This isn't just her having a flashback!" Heather says. "She can't hear me!"

"What do you mean she can't hear you?" Janis asks frantically.

"She can't hear any of us," Ram says as he and Kurt fade in next to Heather. JD follows, but seems to only be there to observe what's going on. He lingers towards the back, unspeaking.

"Heather," Veronica says suddenly.

"Veronica, that's your sister," Heather begs. "I'm right here, you can't do this!"

"Yes you can," another voice suddenly says. Janis startles and looks as... another Heather suddenly pops up. The Heather Janis is used to is in full color, red robe and red hair and her mouth stained a contradictory blue. This new one has the same form, but she's entirely in greyscale. Like some kind of... shadow.

"What the fuck?!" Heather shrieks.

"You're a killer, Veronica," grey-Heather continues. "Aren't you? Look at what you did to me. To us."

Janis watches in horror as three more of the grey-ghosts appear. Ram, Kurt, and JD. Real-Heather looks frantically between her real ghostly counterparts and Janis. "Who the hell are you?"

"Why, Heather Chandler, of course," grey-Heather says.

"No, you aren't, I am," Heather growls.

"Oh, but I am too," grey-Heather grins. "I'm your worst nightmare. Everything she hated about you. Everything you hated about you. All the evil you had in you. All the darkness, all the rage. All the hate. But you didn't even try to keep me down, did you? You broadcasted me for all the world to see. You know what a horrible person you were. You deserved to die."

"Shut up!" Heather shrieks. Grey-Heather just laughs.

"You know it's true," she hums, looking casually at her fingernails. "Call it... karma."

"Ram," Veronica suddenly says. Her voice chills Janis to the core. It's as if the words are being yanked through her vocal cords with absolutely no input from her brain. She sounds so empty. Her body is right in front of her, but Janis knows that right now, it's a mere husk of her sister. And how the hell is she going to get her back?

"Why should she get to live, Veronica?" grey-Ram says in a chilling, echoey voice. "Why her and not me? I was only seventeen."

"Veronica, bro, it's chill," Ram says frantically. "I was totally a douche, don't murder your sister!"

"Look at her, Veronica," grey-Kurt pipes up. "Look how tough she acts. And she's quivering here at your feet. Doesn't that fill you with such a rush? The thrill of the kill, aren't you excited to watch the light leave her eyes?"

"'Ronica, please," Kurt begs. "That's not me! Open your eyes, bro! Listen to us! The real us, man, please!"

"JD," Veronica says.

"Our love is god, Veronica Sawyer!" grey-JD says, throwing a ghostly arm around Veronica's shoulder. "She knows too much, doesn't she? You opened your stupid mouth and told her everything you did. You told her about all the people you killed. How could you be such an idiot? I thought you wanted to move on?"

"Leave her alone!" Heather yells.

"You're a killer, Veronica," grey-JD whispers. "You already have the blood of four people on your hands. The killer instinct is in you, babe. What's one more? We can't have her blabbing to the cops. That pretty face wasn't made for jail."

Veronica takes a few large steps forwards. Janis scrambles backwards as quickly as she can manage on her shaking legs. This is it. She's about to die on a football field, at some random high school in the middle-of-nowhere, Ohio. Murdered by her own twin.

"Vera, please, listen to me," Janis begs around a sob. "I'd never tell anyone, you're my sister! I-I just got you, I'm not ready to lose you! A-and I'm not ready to die, please! Think-think about Cady, about Damian! Think about Mac, what-what is she gonna say? Don't do this!"

"Janis, she can hear you," Heather says. "She can see you, she just can't see or hear us! She's listening!"

"We both have so much to live for," Janis continues. "Vera, please, just open your eyes!"

She can see in Veronica's eyes that a war is waging in her mind. She's fighting. Fighting so hard to break free from whatever's happening to her. Whatever these grey-ghosts are telling her, whatever they're doing to her. Veronica's fighting. But she's been fighting for a very long time.

She's weak.

She's not strong enough.

Not on her own.

"Our love is god," she mumbles.

"Janis, let me borrow your body!" Heather says frantically.

"What?!" Janis says, continuing to back away from her twin with her hands held up defensively. Like that'll do anything.

"I need to talk to her somehow or you're going to die here! And trust me, that's not a nice place to go!" Heather insists. "Just let me possess you for a few minutes and I'll try to talk her down. She has to hear from me, it's... our... clones, or whatever, doing this to her!"

"Okay, whatever, just do it quick!" Janis yells. She shudders and feels a chill go down her spine as all the hair on her neck stands on end. She suddenly feels a very strong urge to kick someone in the balls, and a deep understanding of all the merits of the color red.

"Veronica," Janis feels her mouth say. It's not her voice. She shivers again as her mouth moves against her will to produce a voice unnatural to her. "Ronnie."

"Heather," Veronica says, pausing in her tracks.

"Yeah, Ronnie, it's me," Heather-Janis says. "You need to listen to me."

"I am," Veronica says in confusion.

"No, Veronica, the real me!" Heather says. "That's not me!"

Heather, look at their feet, Janis thinks as hard as she can. She feels Heather puppet her eyes to the feet of the grey-ghosts. Unlike the ones in color that float as their own separate entities a few inches off the ground, these are tethered like balls and chains to Veronica.

They're part of her.

The voices that have been tormenting her for so many days, weeks, months; personified and tied to her with heavy chains. Their voices so much louder, deafening, that she's no longer able to tell the real voices from her own.

"You want revenge," Veronica says. Janis forces her eyes to look at grey-Heather, so real-Heather can see her lips moving to silently form the same words. She's turned Veronica into some sort of sick marionette, puppeting her every move, her every word, every thought.

"No, Veronica, I don't," Heather says. "I want you to let me go. I don't belong on Earth anymore, Ronnie. I'm so tired. I get more tired every day, but I've stuck around for you. Please, listen to me."

It's working, Janis thinks again. Keep going.

"I can't," Heather whispers. "I'm not strong enough, I'm sorry."

Janis gasps and stumbles as she's suddenly flooded with warmth and in control of her body once more. Heather is back in front of her, a bit more translucent and hovering much closer to the ground.

"My spirit is weak," Heather says hoarsely. "I can't hold on long enough to keep going, Janis, I'm sorry."

"Someone else try, quick," Janis says as her sister starts advancing on her again. Ram hovers over to her. Ew, she thinks, but she willingly lets him take control.

"'Ronica," he says.

"Ram," Veronica says.

"Yeah, fam, it's me. How ya been?" Ram chortles.

Dude, seriously? Janis thinks.

"Ow, man, that actually hurts," Ram says, puppeting Janis' hand to rub the back of her neck. "'Ronica, dude, you gotta snap out of this, bro. We never wanted this."

"You never wanted to die," Veronica echoes hollowly.

"I mean, yeah," Ram agrees. "It kinda sucked, man. But you can't kill your sister."

"Why should she get to live and not you?" Veronica says. Janis watches grey-Ram's lips move in tandem with her twin's. "She's just as innocent as you were."

"No," Ram says. Janis can hear the strain in his voice. He's stronger than Heather, but he's also struggling to hold on. "'Ronica, I was a total jackass. Janis is a good person, she's innoce-"

That's all he wrote. Janis gasps again as Ram is ejected from her body. Kurt takes his place before she has a chance to recover.

"Veronica, think about it, bro," he begins. Janis is horrified by the images and urges running through her mind. She doesn't even have the equipment for half of them. "If we didn't deserve to die, Janis, like, definitely doesn't, man."

"Your revenge," Veronica says, sounding confused. Her eyes are a bit clearer than they were. Whatever they're doing is giving her the strength to fight longer, fight harder. They're giving her the upper hand.

"I don't want revenge, dude!" Kurt insists. "Especially not by murdering your sister! She didn't even have anything to do with this, you whackjob!"

"She knows too much," grey-JD makes Veronica say. "She has to go."

"No, man, you need to wake up," Kurt says. "Shit, Janis, I can't hold on. Keep talking to her."

Janis sinks to her knees as Kurt leaves. Blood starts streaming from her nose. Being possessed in rapid succession by three different people is taking its toll on her body. She's not sure how much more she can take.

Veronica's still gone. The battle in her mind still rages. Janis and the ghosts have managed to push the front lines back, but it's still a losing battle.

"Janis," a quiet voice says. Janis looks up to see the ghost of JD swimming in front of her vision. "Listen, I know you're weakened. If you can hold on long enough for me to talk to her, I think I can... I think I can get her back."

"Go to hell," Janis growls, spitting out some blood and wiping her face off on her sleeve. "You did this to her."

"I know I fucking did!" JD yells. "But I really loved her, too, and she loved me back, or she'd never have done this! You're fully within your right to hate me, but if you don't let me in, she is going to kill you! And I cannot let that happen to her. She would never recover. She loves you, Janis, she'd never forgive herself. This isn't her, and I'm not going to let it be."

"Fine," Janis sighs. She forces herself to stand and shuts her eyes as the now-familiar chill and loss of control overtakes her once more.

"Veronica," JD says.

"Jason," Veronica says with a twisted smile. "Look, I'm doing it!"

"I see that, babe," JD says. Don't make me call my sister babe, man, that's just weird. "Sorry, Janis. Veronica, I see you are, but this isn't what I want."

"B-but... you told me to do this," Veronica says in confusion. "She has to be taken out of commission. She knows too much, she'll send me to prison."

"Janis," JD says softly. "Before I keep going, tell me honestly. Are you planning on reporting her to any authority, ever?"

No, Janis roars in her head. She's-she's my sister! I'd never do that to her. She needs help, not locked up. She needs to be here.

"Good," JD whispers. "Veronica."

"Jason," Veronica says with tears in her eyes.

"Put the knife down," JD coaches. "Talk to me for a while."

"She'll escape," Veronica says.

"She can't. I've got her under control," JD says. Ain't that the fucking truth. "Janis, do you mind?" Sorry. "She won't escape. She's going to sit here with us and we're going to talk. Just put the knife down."

Veronica doesn't put the knife down so much as drop it so that it embeds into the astroturf of the new field.

"Good, good, that's good," JD says.

"I've talked to you every night," Veronica says. "You-you told me to kill her. To get rid of her. So we can be together again."

"Veronica, that wasn't me," JD says calmly.

"Yes it was! You told me I need to get revenge for you," Veronica yells. "Kill her for you! Like I killed you! I have to kill her!"

"No, Veronica!" JD bellows. "Veronica. The only person that will get revenge on is you. Janis is your twin. You have a bond like nobody else can possibly even describe, let alone feel. If you kill her, you'll kill yourself right with her. A piece of you will be missing from your life, forever. You'd never recover. You've already been through too much, Veronica. You need to let us go. You need to forgive yourself. Veronica, you have to move on!"

"No!" Veronica roars, grabbing the knife and advancing on them. Janis feels a whimper of her own squeak out as she suddenly has the knife pinned to her throat. "You're a fake, aren't you? The real Jason wants revenge. You're just trying to talk me out of it."

"The real Jason loves you," JD responds calmly. Dude, how the fuck? "Janis, I blew up, once you've done that you can face pretty much anything! Veronica. Listen. You can believe what you want, but listen to me."

Veronica eyes JD-Janis suspiciously, but she does allow a slight gap between Janis' throat and the knife. Her grip on Janis' collar loosens the slightest bit. "She has to die. So we can be together."

"Veronica, I want nothing more than I want to be with you," JD says calmly. "I love you more than I loved anything in my life. And my afterlife. But I'm not here anymore. My time came a long time ago. We can't be together."

"Yes we can," grey-JD says, approaching again. "All you have to do is slit that pretty throat. She looks so much like you, doesn't she, Ronnie? Like everything in you you can't stand? All this darkness, this burden, this hatred? Don't you just see it burning in front of you? It'd be so quick."

"Veronica, that's not me! Don't listen!" JD yells frantically as Veronica presses the knife to Janis' flesh again. "I never asked you to do this! I never asked you to try to get your revenge! Think, Veronica, come on! Who asked you that?!"

"You!" Veronica insists. "It-it... it was you."

"No, Veronica, I never asked for this," JD says. "Veronica, please, listen to me. Not him."

"I died because of you!" grey-JD roars, made louder by the chorusing voices of the other three. "My blood stains your hands! You monster! Look at what you've done, you demon! You villain! Killing four innocent people! You killed me! You killed me! You killed me! You killed me!"

"I'm sorry!" Veronica wails. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"You're a killer," grey-JD says. "I will not... forgive... Veronica..."

"I did, Veronica, I did," JD begs. "We all did! You can't keep blaming yourself, it was me! I-I was sick, Veronica! I dragged you into it! You didn't kill Heather, I did! I made you take the wrong cup, I'm the one who poisoned her! I lied and I told you the bullets were fake, I killed Ram! You aren't even the one who shot Kurt, that was me! And you had nothing to do with my death, Veronica, except delaying it a little longer!"

"I killed you," Veronica whispers with tears streaming down her face.

"No, Veronica," JD says. Janis wants to protest about him tenderly cupping her twin's cheek, but she knows this isn't the time. "I promise you. All the blame rests on me. I was the worst thing that could've happened to you. And you were the best thing that could've happened to me."

"But you-"

"Do you know how long I had a plan? How long before I even met you?" JD says softly. "Every new school I went to, I came up with a new one. Every moving day was going to be the time I finally fucking did it."

"Jason," Veronica says. Some clarity is starting to come to her eyes. It's working. Slowly but surely, JD is getting through. Janis just hopes he manages it before he can't hold onto her anymore.

"Veronica," Heather says, some color returned to her now that she's had some time to recover from her time inside Janis. Veronica whips around to look at her. "Can you hear me?"

"Heather," Veronica says. Heather smiles, in spite of the situation.

"Yeah. You need to listen to us," she says soothingly. "You need to come back. This isn't you."

"But-but you... you've been telling me," Veronica says. "Telling me to kill again. For you. A life for yours."

"That won't bring me back, Veronica," Heather says sadly. "Nothing will. Killing Janis won't solve anything."

"Why should she live?" grey-Heather says. "She's not innocent, either."

Veronica's eyes snap back to Janis.

"She manipulated her little girlfriend for an entire year," grey-Heather continues. "Isn't she a bad person?"

"Veronica," Heather says, remarkably calmly. "You are not the judge, jury, and executioner. This weight is not meant for your shoulders."

"B-but-" Veronica stumbles. She looks back and forth between the real ghost and the greyscale version. "W-who-"

"Veronica," JD says. "Those are you. All the things you've been tormenting yourself with. They're taking our forms. You can't listen to them. You can't give in."

"Kill her!" grey-JD roars. "Kill her like you killed us!"

"Veronica," Heather says. "You have to let us go."

"No," grey-Heather says. "Kill her. Kill her, or you'll be alone forever."

"I don't want to be alone," Veronica says, her voice trembling. JD, she's coming back. That's real emotion, that's her.

"I know," JD whispers. "Veronica. That isn't Heather. That isn't me. That's you. Those are your thoughts. Fight them. Why do you think I fell for you?"

"Because... I'm... weak," Veronica grits. She's still clearly not back in herself yet, but she's getting closer, and closer. Just not close enough.

"No, Veronica, I fell for you because you're strong," JD says. "In a way I never was. Never could be. You're strong, and you're good. They're lying to you. Don't listen. Use that strength. Fight, Veronica."

"Veronica," Heather continues. "Listen to us. Don't listen to them. They're not real."

"Aren't we?" grey-Heather retaliates. "You will never be free from your sins, Veronica Sawyer. You are, and always will be, a killer. A murderer. You killed us. You killed me."

"I know," Veronica sobs. "I know I did, I know! And I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm doing what you asked!"

"Veronica, we forgave you," JD says. "We do forgive you."

"You will never forget what you've done," grey-Heather says. "You will never forget. This will always live inside you."

"And you can always fight it, Veronica," Heather says pleadingly. "You have so many people who love you, you fucking pillowcase! Think about them! You have so many people who want to help you heal, you just have to be open with them! Mac, Janis, your mom! Your dad, Duke, Cady, Damian, Regina! All of them know who you really are!"

"I'm a killer," Veronica sobs shakily.

"No, you aren't," JD says. "You're a victim. An unwitting accomplice. You're traumatized. But you are not a killer."

Janis forces her eyes to look at the grey-ghosts. Slowly, they're taking on some of Veronica's features. Grey-Heather's hair is much frizzier, suddenly. Grey-Ram has her nose. Grey-Kurt her ears. Grey-JD has her stature. Slowly, they're losing more and more of themselves. Becoming unrecognizable as anything but Veronica herself.

"Janis, she's getting closer," JD whispers. "But I can't hold on too much longer. You have to help. Help me save you. Save her. As long as she's fighting, she's still in there. She can win this."

Okay, Janis thinks as hard as she can.

"I died here, Veronica," grey-JD says. "Don't you remember? Don't you remember the sound of my life being snuffed? The ash, the soot? The blood? The smell? I was in so much pain, Veronica. My pain will never disappear."

"Yes," Veronica whimpers. "Yes, JD, I'm sorry!"

"Veronica," JD and Janis say at the same time. "I'm not suffering anymore. Revenge won't solve anything. You know that. Revenge won't bring me back. It won't change anything. All it will do is hurt you and the people you care about."

Janis and JD watch as the ghosts morph even further into Veronica.

"But if I hadn't been there, none of this would've happened," Veronica says. "None of you would ever have died! I'm sorry, I'm sorry Heather. I'm sorry Ram, Kurt. JD, I-I'm sorry!"

"We can't change the past, Veronica," Ram says comfortingly. And remarkably eloquently. "But you can change your future. Don't do this."

"But if I had never met you, none of you would have died!" Veronica insists with tears streaming down her face. "Heather, if I hadn't gone to that party, if I hadn't met you in the bathroom! Ram, Kurt, if I hadn't gone to the graveyard that night!"

"Veronica, why are you doing this to yourself?" Heather asks. "You fucking pillowcase. I barely knew you, but those few months I did were some of my happiest. My only regret is that I didn't get to know you more while I was still alive. I don't hold this against you. I never have. As soon as I crossed over, I understood. Listen to us, Veronica. We're glad we got to be with you."

"Yeah, man," Kurt agrees. "We didn't know you super good. But you seem pretty baller. The only thing we're pissed about is being such assholes, bro."

"You have nothing to regret, Veronica," JD and Janis say in tandem again.

"Look at me, Veronica," grey-Heather says, her voice much quieter now, like she's miles away and still trying to speak to them. Veronica does. Janis can see the confusion raging behind her eyes when she sees her own face looking back at her, speaking in Heather's voice. "You deserve this. To suffer. Your punishment for what you've done. Won't it be wonderful to get to keep us around all the time?"

"Veronica," JD and Janis say. Veronica looks at them. Janis almost gasps at the clarity in her eyes. She's almost back. "You can't blame yourself anymore. I love you. I don't want to see you suffering. The voices you hear are your own thoughts. You've been hurting yourself all this time. Stop blaming yourself for what's happened to you. To us."

"You asked me to do something for you," Veronica murmurs. "Jason. You asked me to-"

"Think, Veronica, come on. What did I ask of you?" JD says, without Janis this time. Janis can feel him slipping, tries desperately dig her heels in to keep a hold on him as long as she can. For Veronica.

"You... you asked me to clean up after you," Veronica says. "I'm trying to-"

"No, Veronica," JD says. "I asked you to clean up my body. You did that. You helped the police gather as much of me as you could."

"A-and you asked me to..." Veronica mumbles.

"Come on, Veronica, think! You're so close, just keep fighting! Keep thinking!" JD and Janis yell.

"You asked me to stick around," Veronica says boldly. "And... make things better." Janis collapses to the ground as JD is ejected from her body. "Janis, oh my god!"

"Vera," Janis croaks. Veronica bursts into tears and throws the knife as far away as she possibly can before she sinks down next to her and pulls Janis' limp, exhausted body into her lap.

"I'm so sorry," Veronica sobs. "I'm so sorry. God, I almost killed you, I'm so sorry."

"That... wasn't you," Janis says hoarsely, choking the words out around painful gasps for breath. "This is. You fought it off, Vera. You did it."

Janis forces herself to her knees and grunts as Veronica throws herself at her. Janis thinks she hears a few of her ribs crack as her twin hugs her tighter than she's ever been hugged in her life. Janis squeezes her back just as hard as they both cry against each others' shoulders.

The grey-ghosts, now perfect reflections of the both of them, melt into a revolting sort of goo and seep back into Veronica. They'll always be with her, in a way. But Janis will be too. And they can face their demons together.

"I'm so sorry," Veronica sobs again.

"I'm sorry too," Janis responds.

"I love you."

"I love you too," Janis says. "Let's fucking get out of here."

"I... I have to do something first," Veronica says. Janis watches in confusion as Veronica stands and walks away. Veronica grabs the knife and runs towards the nearest garbage can. She drops the knife in first. Janis is dragging herself over as best as she can when Veronica suddenly pulls out her diary and stares at the cover. She traces over the leather binding with her finger before she drops it in as well.

Heather, Ram, Kurt, and JD materialize next to her once again.

"I've needed to do this for a long time," Veronica begins, voice thick with emotion. "It's time I let you go. Release you all to where you belong."

The ghosts are quiet for a moment, looking at Veronica with a strangely peaceful gaze. Heather is the first to speak. "Thank you."

Veronica just nods. "I'm gonna miss you."

"We'll miss you too," Ram says. "It's been kind of baller hanging around Earth a while longer, but..."

"We're fucking tired, man," Kurt concludes.

Veronica pulls out a matchbook. Looks at it for a long moment. "Thank you all for everything. Everything you've given me. Everything you've done for me."

"Thank you, Veronica," JD says softly.

Veronica strikes the match. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye," the ghosts all chorus at once.

"I love you," JD says.

"So do I," Heather says.

"I love you too," Veronica says. "Both of you. I'll see you again."

"Enjoy being eighteen, Sawyer," Heather says as Veronica drops the match into the bin.

"Enjoy staying seventeen, Chandler."

"Live the hell out of this life, Veronica," JD says.

"I'll do my best, JD."

And with that, all of the ghosts dissolve into puffs of mist, blown away by the wind along with the sands of time, to places and things unknown to the living.

Veronica stands and watches the fire grow and roar in the bin. Janis comes up and leans against her side as they watch the flames flicker and dance in front of them.

Veronica screams in anguish, releasing all the emotions she's needed to for a year. Janis holds her through it, and they both sob into each other as the diary turns to ash.

They'll always have demons.

But they can fight them.

Together.

—————

thank you for reading, especially if you're coming from the heathers side of things!! i really enjoyed exploring these characters a bit more in depth than i have before so if you have any requests or anything from me you'd like to see i'll do my best to make it happen :) in a timely manner this time lol

i'll also almost definitely write this again from veronica's pov at some point. just a long ways in the future bc i need time to emotionally recover from this one lol

also if you know what the ending scene is loosely based on no you don't :)

have a fantastic day and thanks again for reading!!

lots of love,
ezzy