JORDI ADKINS
Oh boy, was it undoubtedly worthy saying yes to Xavier's simple favor. He just wanted to talk and yes, the reason why I'm not initially willing to budge in was because I detested him that much. I didn't realize that me waking up in bed with him fully naked would eventually change the course of our relationship. He just admitted to me that he liked kissing me and should I be flattered? Am I a good kisser even though I'm aware that he's the only person I've kissed so far? Should I feel like I'm a special person for that?
Xavier motherfucking Rockwell have had the biggest character curve ball in less than a month and I'm super gagged to the core. One day he was just beating the shit out of me and the next thing I know; he was begging for a kiss. Isn't that wild? It is really wild and to think that what happened earlier was like some sort of a freaky Friday but it's on Tuesday was unbelievable.
It took me more than three hours before drowsiness visited me and that's mostly because I have been quietly digesting what just happened earlier. I'm certainly aware of this good feeling that me and Xavier, in the words of Lala, have squashed our beef. I don't want to add the word finally to that but it feels right. I know a simple apology isn't enough to make up for all of the horrible stuff that Xavier did towards me but that's a step closer. I didn't realize that asshole has the ability for a redemption arc and I'm not a monster myself. I'm going to let him make up for everything.
My grandmother used to say that you could kill people with kindness and quite frankly, I wasn't listening to that one. Selena Gomez had a song just like that and maybe I should give it a chance. I may not have been the kindest but at least I wasn't as vindictive and I didn't go my way and implore a certain revenge plot towards Xavier. The point is, Xavier has gone through a lot and maybe he's an asshole because he's been treated like one or maybe I should say, he's continuously being treated horribly. As far as I know, his father was the asshole for marrying his mother when he's already married in the first place. That's some shitty womanizer move and I'm starting to understand Xavier.
I don't really want to admit it but am I starting to become a simp for Xavier? It sounds disgusting when you've been bullied by that person for years that it made you feel less and shitty. And I'm confident that Jane and Nikki would agree that it's really gross to be a simp. Well, Jane on the other hand, might actually be the open minded person. Jane has always been the type of person who's optimistic while Nikki was the feisty one.
Speaking of my two best friends, I'm not yet ready to tell them about Xavier. I don't exactly know when I'm going to be ready but I know now isn't the right time. I'm pretty sure they would have the biggest reaction. Jane might be the melodramatic one while Nikki would probably be animated or perhaps comically shocked by it.
I begged for the mercy of sleep to come and rescue me from this uneasiness. I couldn't bring my thoughts to a calm and for the first time in a long while, I kept on thinking about Xavier. I don't think I've met someone who's willing to admit their wrongdoing and shitty actions. I honestly would say that I'm quite intrigued to get to know him better than ever. The Xavier that I spoke with today was simply a good person. Maybe there's really a good person inside him that's just cloaked by the toughness. Perhaps he's only acting like a bad boy because he's trying to protect himself from something.
When I woke up the next morning, I felt relatively better than ever. It's like I've been living in a paradise decorated with rainbows and butterflies and unicorns. I was singing inside the shower and I wasn't even aware that I was smiling wide enough until my mom had to bring it out again at the breakfast table. My mom's been obsessed with me and I do understand that mainly because I'm an only child and all focus are on me. Even my dad, he gets really annoying towards me when he's not busy with his job.
"Mom, please stop being obsessed with me." I began right after she pointed out the wide smile painted on my face.
"Jordi, I'm not obsessed with you. I'm your mother, okay. Naturally, I'd be delighted to see you happy." My mom bantered.
I rolled my eyes away from her and just focused on eating my breakfast. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."
"But really, sweetie, I'm genuinely glad that your girl Jane's been making your high school life lovely."
"Jane and I are over." It was already too late when I realized I just said something that would just focus my parent's attention on me.
"What did you just say?" My mom asked in disbelief.
"You heard him, honey. He said he broke up with his girlfriend." My dad reported.
"Why?" Mom asked.
I took a heavy sigh. Now I have to back my statement up. "Don't worry mom, we broke up on good terms. We didn't have any fight. We're still friends and we just accepted that we both have differences."
"That's really nice to hear, son." My dad added seemingly okay with my shitty reasoning. My dad has always been on my side anyway but I'm pretty sure my mom's going to figure out some way to turn it against him.
"Yeah, Charlie. Your son's actually thinking better than you." My mom scowled over at dad and then the show between them commenced. It was just a healthy and typical husband and wife bickering and I'm living for them.
When I got to school, I was increasingly excited to see Xavier. I'm aware of that and I'm somehow ashamed that I feel like that. It's really absurd to think that the past few weeks, I'm never really that thrilled to see him at all. However, ever since we had that conversation at the tea shop, I've been looking forward to hang out with him.
The bottom line of it was there's more to Xavier than what I already know about. I'm more than determined to get to know him better, perhaps it's for the good.
"So, how are you and Xavier doing?" Jane asked the moment I grouped up with her and Nikki at the same bench where we always hang out before class.
"Uhm, fine, I guess." I replied trying to act innocently as if I haven't kissed Xavier yesterday. "So far, he's not exhibiting some sort of violence towards me." In my head, I was already thinking about the conversation between me and Xavier.
"Tshhh." I heard Nikki scoffed then I even caught her rolling her eyes.
"What's wrong, Nikki?" I inquired.
"Yeah, there's something wrong. There's a big liar in here and I don't like it." She replied with her tone sounding pointy. It didn't feel good for me.
"Huh? I'm not a liar, Nikki." Jane butted in.
"Exactly, Jane. You're not a liar." Nikki spat out before eventually walking out.
"Are you like having your period or something? You have an attitude right now." I trailed off unaware that I may be sounding rude. I have known Nikki for a long time, maybe even longer than Jane and I know when she's having her period she's going to bring up some nasty attitude.
"Yeah, no shit, Jordi! Even if I don't have a period right now, I'm still going to call you out for being a motherfucking liar." Nikki scowled at me obviously pissed off. She got up and then began to walk away.
"What's wrong with her?" Jane inquired.
"I don't know." I shook my head clearly having a zero idea why she's acting like a bitch this early in the morning. "Wait, Nikki!" I yelled confusedly as I got up to follow her.
Nikki and I haven't had a fight in quite a long time and through those times, it's only like a matter of different beliefs. The last time we had a misunderstanding was that one time we were arguing about Rhianna but that was just a petty fight. Every fight that we had was almost immediately resolved within the same day.
I kept my eyes locked on Nikki's back and she was just taking bigger leaps with her long legs that I had to pick up my pace. After a long while of chasing, I finally caught up to her. "Nikki!" I grabbed her hand.
"Don't touch me, you filthy liar!!!!!" She glowered at me and I was honestly scared at how fierce her glare was.
"What's wrong? Why are you acting like..."
"Like a what?"
"Like a—"
"Say it, coward!"
"I'm not a coward."
"Yes, you are. Just say it." Nikki was obviously challenging me and I didn't like the fact that he called me cowards when I've done a lot of brave things in my life. I basically came out as gay to the whole school and that's the bravest thing. I'm sure there are a lot of people in this school who are still afraid of coming out like the way I did.
"Okay, you asked for it. You're dying for it. I'm going to say it."
"Then say it, fucking coward!!!"
"You are acting like a fucking bitch right now!!!!!" I snapped out at her and then I realized my voice was just too loud that a myriad of eyes began looking at us. "I-I'm sorry, Nikki. I didn't mean to..."
"Fuck off, Jordi." Nikki spat before eventually walking away.
Oh my fucking god, I just caused a huge scene. I just pissed off Nikki when I was supposed to ask her what's wrong. I didn't mean to call her a bitch but she was really asking for it though. What in the actual fuck, Jordi?
Out of embarrassment, I slowly turned my back and began walking away.
During lunch break, Nikki chose not to sit with me and Jane. I'm sure some of our peers are talking about the fight we had at the hallway. When I looked for Nikki, I saw her sitting along with the goths.
"What's wrong with her?" Jane asked and just like me, she looked confused too.
"I-I don't know. She called me a liar but how?" I replied. I know I haven't told Nikki about Xavier and I refuse to think that that's the reason why she's calling me a liar. First of all, no one knew about us and second, how the fuck did she found out?
"Yeah, I don't even know. We've always been an open book with each other." Jane continued but then paused to look at someone.
"Hi, is this chair taken?" A familiar voice suddenly showed up behind me and when I turned my head, I saw Xavier sporting the brightest smile.