October 6th, 2020:
Monday morning I was floating on cloud nine as I looked around the halls for Kinkajou. I eventually found her sitting on Turtle's lap in the school garden as she busily talked to him. I ran over.
"Hey, Kinkajou!" I called, more enthusiastic than I usually was. Kinkajou saw me and her face lit up.
"Hey, Moon," she said, getting off of Turtle and hugging me. "You seem more happy than usual. Spill the tea!"
"Okay, first," I said calming myself. "How are you? Don't let what Winter said get to you. He was just mad about Qibli and me."
"It's fine," Kinkajou said with a casual shrug as Turtle walked up from behind her. "Speaking of you and Qibli... how was the date?"
"Ugh, it was amazing," I said, my insides melting again. "He took me to this enchanted place in the woods. It was just wonderful."
"Nice," Turtle said before stopping. "How's your... arm?" He said, suggesting what he really meant to say was "Cutting?"
"Better," I said, answering both his questions as I looked away.
"Winter called me yesterday," Turtle continued, changing the subject. I turned back to him with raised eyebrows. "Why does everyone come to me with their love-life problems?" He thought aloud.
"Probably because you're the only one he knows who's in a successful relationship. Anyway, what'd he say?" I asked.
"Oh, nothing," Turtle said with a small shrug. "Just something about how horrible you are and how he was going to murder Qibli."
"What did he do this time?" Kinkajou asked with an exaggerated sigh, not seeming surprised.
"Winter caught Qibli and me on our date," I answered. "He was pretty pissed. He was being an asshole about it, too. He was acting like him and I were dating when in reality, I only viewed him as a friend. It's Qibli I like."
"It's who you like?" Qibli's voice called from behind me as he made his way over to us. "Sorry for eavesdropping. You guys just talk really loud."
"Really?" Turtle asked as I ducked my head in slight embarrassment. Qibli definitely heard what we were talking about. "Were we talking that loud?"
"Pretty much," Qibli said with a small laugh as Kinkajou bounded over and welcomed him with a hug. "So, what are we talking about?" he asked, purposely turning his gaze to me with a small smirk.
"Oh, just how much Winter wants to kill you," Kinkajou said in a 'no-need-to-worry' tone.
"Fun... subject," Qibli slowly said.
"Speaking of the Devil," I grumbled as Winter's figure made its way over to us. Winter wasted no time in angrily walking towards Qibli, but Turtle quickly stepped in front of Winter, stopping him.
"Winter, don't," Kinkajou said as Qibli raised an amused eyebrow in his direction. "You shouldn't even be mad at him. It was Moon who picked him instead of you," Kinkajou said way too enthusiastically.
"Really, Kinkajou?" I asked as Qibli said, "That's not the best way to word that, Kink."
"Yeah?" Winter scoffed before turning to me. "Well, you chose wrong, Moon. Don't you remember Sunset? How could you get with a guy that would do something like that?" Now Qibli was frowning but he still wasn't saying anything to defend himself.
I narrowed my eyes at Winter. "I'm sorry. I know you're mad, Winter, but you're making things worse right now." I tried reasoning with him, because even if he could sometimes be a little sour, he was still one of my closest friends, and I would do anything for him. "We can still be friends."
"No, I don't think we can," Winter said, taking a step back. "It would hurt me too much. So it's your choice. You can't have both of us, so pick one."
Horror struck my face. "Winter, that's not fair."
"Yeah? Well, life's not fair," he said loudly, making me flinch back. "So, who's it going to be?"
"Winter, stop," Qibli said as Kinkajou said, "Don't pressure her, Winter. You can still be her friend." He ignored both of them, pinning his gaze onto me.
"Winter, I can't just choose–" I started but Winter was already talking over.
"You're going to have to," he angrily said in a low voice.
This is the first place where I felt like I was fitting in, but I'm just so stupid and naive. I'm such an idiot!
It's fine, Moon. Just choose. Winter or Qibli.
I can't.
I just... can't.
Everybody was looking at me, Kinkajou in a weary way. I glanced between Qibli and Winter for a long moment, making eye contact with Qibli. We both had a non-verbal conversation with our eyes.
It's fine. You can go to him. He needs you more, so I'll understand, Qibli's eyes were saying. My lips started quivering as I took a slow step backward in Qibli's direction.
Winter scoffed, turning around as he walked away. I ran up to him and grabbed his arm.
"Winter, stop!" I said as he swiveled around, pinning me down with a glare. He yanked his arm out of my grasp.
"I hope you're happy," He snarled before looking at Qibli, transferring his glare to him. "And you. You better not fucking hurt her if you want to keep all of your limbs." With that, Winter glared down once more at me before hurt crossed his face as he turned around, walking off towards his class as the bell rang.
I scoffed in disbelief. "I have to go to class," I said without turning around as I walked toward the doors. I heard Qibli call my name, but I ignored him, heading for the library. The quietest place in the building. I ran in, grabbed a book, and found a corner to sit in.
I quietly covered my face with one of my hands, using the other one to take out my phone and take off the phone case. My pocket knife tumbled out of it. I sniffled as I stared down at it, weighing my options.
"Moon," Turtle's voice whispered. I gasped, trying to hide the knife, but it was clear he saw it.
"Y-yeah?" I sniffled, quickly wiping my tears. "Shouldn't you be in class?"
"I could ask you the same thing," Turtle whispered as he sat down next to me. "Are you okay, Moon?"
"Yeah, yeah," I quickly answered. "I just wanted to read a little." I started getting up, but Turtle took my arm, holding me down. He slipped his hand into mine, where the knife was. He gave me a reassuring squeeze before taking the knife away from me.
"Were you going to cut yourself?" he asked, examining the knife.
"N-no," I lied as Turtle put the knife in his pocket. "I d-don't do that anymore." Turtle didn't seem convinced as he took my hand, tangling his fingers with mine in a comforting way.
"You need to get help, Moon," Turtle whispered as I rested my head on his shoulder.
I stared at the floor for a long moment. "I know, Turtle. I know."
"*"
For free block, instead of going to the library, I went over to the grade below. Something told me I was going to regret that, but at that moment, I didn't care.
I went into the library of the lower grade and triumph filled my chest as I noticed a girl with blonde hair curled up on one of the chairs, seeming to be studying.
I only knew what Sunset looked like because of the Student Council pictures. All I wanted from her were answers. I slowly walked toward her, getting a little nervous. She finally noticed me and frowned.
"Are you new?" Sunset asked as she eyed me up and down in a judging manner.
"No," I answered with a small smile. "I'm from the grade above." Sunset rightened herself on the chair as she transferred her gaze back to her book.
"Oh," she said. I stood there for a moment, just staring at her. She glanced back up at me, her frown deepening. "Can I help you?"
I silently clicked my tongue, regretting my actions. "Do you know who... Qibli is?"
Sunset's head instantly snapped up, horror crossing her face. "W-what about him?" she asked, lightly clearing her throat as she looked around wearily. "Why are you here?"
"Qibli told me the truth about you," I explained in a not-so-friendly tone. "But I'm not here to judge you or yell at you or anything. I just want to hear your side of the truth."
"Why do you care, anyway?" she snapped, looking anxious. "Are you his girlfriend or something?"
"Uh... N-no," I stammered, now wondering. "I don't think so?"
"Good," she spat. "He's a horrible boyfriend and can be annoying. I thought, 'Oh, just laugh at his jokes and you'll get used to it!', but nope. Still annoying."
"His jokes are actually funny, though," I muttered.
"Not the ones he told last year," she chortled, flipping a page in her book. "Anyway, I'm kind of busy right now, so if you don't mind."
"Why would you use him?"
The question lingered in the air longer than I would've liked. Sunset suddenly stood up and collected her stuff.
"I really did like him, okay?" Sunset said as she walked up to me, books in hand. "And I needed him for answers, too. So I compromised and we started dating. I was drunk at school and made out with Hailstorm, blah blah blah, I'm single and got held back. Happy? Thanks for wasting my free block." She shoved past me and out of the library.
I was left stunned, processing what she had said.
"*"
"Hey, Moon, we need to talk," Qibli said, cornering me in a nook in the wall after lunch. I had spent that time in the bathroom staring at the walls.
It was quite entertaining.
"About?" I asked.
"Are you okay?" He asked, seeming sincere. "I know Winter can be harsh sometimes, but in all honesty, he's like that all the time, so–"
"I'm fine," I said, being a better actor at faking it.
"...What?" Qibli asked.
I gave him a sweet smile. "I said I'm great," I reworded. "Winter will get over it eventually, right?"
Qibli blinked at me for a moment as he searched my face. "...Are you sure, Moon? Turtle told me you were going through a lot of problems right now, so I just want to make sure you're–"
"Turtle said what?" I blurted, my heart sinking.
"He just said you had a lot of problems," Qibli repeated.
"Well... I don't know what he's talking about," I said, avoiding eye contact. "I'm fine. I don't know why you'd think otherwise." Qibli hesitantly reached forward and tucked a strand of hair behind my hair.
"Promise?" he asked, his hand running down my cheek. I nodded, focusing on the wrong thing at the moment. I suddenly had the immense urge to just kiss him.
"Promise," I said back as I inched a little closer.
"Good," Qibli said. "I wouldn't want you to feel as though you–" Without letting him finish, I slid my arm around his neck and pulled him down to kiss him. He reacted by instantly kissing me back, his arms finding their way to my waist.
Although we hadn't made it official yet, it was like we were already boyfriend and girlfriend. We acted like it, so.
I slowly pulled away, still enveloped in the thought of kissing him. My eyes transferred from his lips up to his eyes.
"It's cute you worry for me, but I promise you, Qibli, I'm fine," I said as walked past him. "I'll call you when I get home. Bye, Qibli."
"*"
"Moon," Secretkeeper said, seeming a bit mad at me. I was more surprised to see Morrowseer there, too. "I got a call from your teachers saying you've been skipping class recently."
Whoops.
"Uh." I really had no defense for that. "Sorry. I've just been stressed."
"Stressing over boys?" Morrowseer asked, narrowing his eyes.
Yes, actually.
"No!" I lied. "Just studies and extracurricular stuff. I'm sorry. I won't do it again, I promise."
"So, who was that boy I saw you kissing that day you came home late?" Morrowseer pressed, knowing I was lying.
Shit, he saw that?
I didn't say anything, my gaze shifting from Secretkeeper to Morrowseer.
"You were kissing–okay, never mind," Secretkeeper said. "That's not why we wanted to talk to you." She stood up and walked toward me. "Your father is leaving."
My eyes widened. "Leaving?" I blurted. "Where? Why?"
"It's for a job," Morrowseer said, standing up and walking toward me, too. "I need it. The only problem is that it's in another state."
"Hey, guys," Deathbringer suddenly called, walking downstairs. He stared at us for a moment, noticing the tension. "I'll... come back later," he said, slowly backing up the stairs. My parents turned back to me.
"So will you come visit?" I continued, getting more and more upset by the second.
"I cannot," he said. "It's a 12-hour flight from here, so I won't have the time." He glanced at Secretkeeper.
"A-and that's why you'll decide who you want to live with," Secretkeeper finished less audibly.
"You get to choose," Morrowseer said.
I stopped breathing. I had to pick one. I had to risk hurting someone else's feelings.
If I leave, I'll never see Qibli or any one of my friends again, and I'll probably become the outcast in my next school all over again.
But if I don't, then my relationship with my dad will falter.
It's okay, Moon.
All you have to do is choose.
<3
A/N:
Is it just me, or do y'all love the thought of Moon and Turtle having a close friendship???
Anyway! That's the end of part one! Did you like? I hope you did. It might be a while before I post again, but chances are I'll probably have a new chapter up tomorrow, so eh. Anyway, please comment and like.
Bye, boo~