JORDI ADKINS
"Are you going to hit me again?" I asked outright. I felt frightened and shocked at the very same time but I felt compelled to act tougher this time around.
"Why would you think of that, curlytops?" He replied with another question and the weirdest thing I noticed was he doesn't sound like the jerk that I used to know.
Am I allowed to think that the world may be turning upside down? Because the look painted in Xavier's face doesn't look like he's going to beat the shit out of me. In fact, he looked like he's way too confused and I'm just as baffled as he was.
"Don't act brand new, Xavier." I blurted out feeling a lot like filled with courage. Maybe having the whole week Xavier-free was the only thing that I needed in order to have this fleeting feeling of courage.
"Jordi, I... I..." Xavier couldn't even look at me in the eye for more than a few seconds. That's obviously the oddest thing for the person who used to humiliate me.
"What, Xavier? Are you the one who's stuttering now?" I added seemingly provoking him to punch me in the face.
"Look, Jordi..." Xavier scratched his head and I could already feel the mist of anxiety cloaking above him. "I-I just want to talk about what happened between us." He divulged and that was the moment that everything flashed before my eyes.
It was just a quick supercut of what happened but I saw everything flash before my eyes. FUCK! How did I even forget about that just now?
"Oh my god." I cried out at the sudden recalling of everything. I just remembered that he took my precious virginity without me knowing about it. Yes, I was drunk but he's clearly the last person that I'm having sex with. I felt dirty and I hate myself for getting drunk and wasted that night.
"Shhhh, keep your tone down." Xavier was about to cover my mouth with his cold sweaty hands but I was quicker. I slapped his hand away right before he could even cover my mouth.
"Get those cold sweaty hands off of my face. You, Xavier Rockwell, you fucking took advantage of me." I whispered with such intensity and it felt good for the very first time in my life.
I angrily punched him in the chest which didn't even do a thing mostly because I'm not really trying the hardest. He's been taking advantage of me ever since the day we met. He took advantage of my weakness and now, he took advantage of my drunkenness and my inability to have that better judgement for myself.
"You're the one who took me home, Jordi."
"Yeah, no shit, Xavier. I was freaking drunk, I didn't know what I was doing and now, I'm no longer virgin, you fucking asshole." I continued lashing out on him and while I'm keeping my tone as low as possible, I'm putting enough accentuation and intensity towards it hoping that the words hit like bricks.
"Hahaha, what?" Xavier let out a chuckle.
"T-there's nothing funny about..."
"We never hit the third base, Jordi." Xavier announced.
"What third base?"
"We made out and got naked but that's just about all of it. You slept on me and I had bl... Well, I'm not telling you that but the point is, nothing happened."
"No-nothing happened? Not even any sort of penetration or something?" I asked just wanting to reassure myself that I heard and understood everything with precision.
I felt a slight wave of relief knowing that my virginity was still intact but I still couldn't believe the fact that I made out with Xavier Rockwell. I had his mouth all over my mouth and I can't even begin to describe how I'm disgusted with myself.
"Jordi, I just really want to..." Xavier paused and then turned around. He's really acting weird and it's quite unsettling for me. I'm used to feeling a lot scared around him and now, it seemed that something truly changed.
"What?"
Xavier turned back around and pulled me closer, I felt his hand cup my face. Before I could even realize what was happening, he was already kissing me. He was aggressive with it and for a while, I didn't know if I should push him away of if I should kiss him back. I ended up choosing the latter. I know I'm in the right state of mind to think that this wasn't a good idea but his touch, it's giving me some jolt-like sensation that felt like heaven.
I felt Xavier's hot and wet tongue inside my mouth and I don't know why I'm starting to feel like I'm into it when I clearly know I shouldn't be into it. Xavier and I are kissing in the same closet where he beat the shit out of me. What's wrong with me?
Xavier had his hands all over my back and he was acting like the thirstiest person that there was. I'm just letting him be that person. I'm just letting myself water that depravity as if I've been dying for it too.
"I..." Xavier eventually broke out of the kiss. "I-I'm sorry." He cried out and then stormed out of the closet leaving me hanging in the air.
"What the fuck was that?!" I asked myself.
I am clearly baffled, absurdly bewildered, utterly astonished. I am whatever are the antonyms of confused and shocked. I was left frozen and unable to process whatever happened.
I have hated him for the longest time and while I still hate him, I'm now hating him for leaving me shitty confused. He just pushed me into this closet and kissed me only to storm out just like the spineless piece of shit he is. What is wrong with that asshole? One minute he's bullying me and the next thing I know; he's kissing the fuck out of me.
With the fear of someone actually seeing me, I had to wait inside the closet for almost ten minutes. I don't want anyone seeing me being associated with Xavier in any other ways other than the predator-prey relationship that everyone knew we have. I don't want anyone to know about anything that happened inside because the world will crumble.
By the time I was rest assured that nobody saw us go inside the closet, I slowly inched my way out only for Zacheus Riley to show up.
"Hey,..." I went in a second coming of astonishment seeing my very own crush right after Xavier just kissed me. This day couldn't even give a single break. First, the guy that I hated the most shoves me into the closet and then the guy that I've been dreaming of shows up after that.
"Hey, Jordi, right?" Zacheus asked and that was the second time that he called me by my name. He did remember my name and how awesome was that. "What were you doing inside the janitor's closet?" He inquired.
"I... I was just returning the mop that I borrowed." I lied.
"Oh, okay. I thought you were secretly kissing some guy inside." Zach continued and for a second, I thought I was going to pass out. "Hahaha, I'm just kidding."
"Hahaha, yeah. Nice joke, I was not totally kissing some guy inside." I was already trembling on my feet knowing that I just did what he just said. "Wait, you know I'm gay?"
"Uhm, everyone kind of knows about that." Zach smiled and his white pearls was just immaculate.
"Oh, yeah. My coming out did... blow out and kind of shook the entire school." I laughed out nervously.
"Hahaha, you are funny." Zach replied tapping me by the shoulder. And if I'm not feeling confused by what Xavier did, I would've just passed out with what Zacheus did. He just tapped me by the shoulder like we've known each other for quite a long while. "Also, I'm quite happy that you did that."
"Did what?"
"That you came out and proud and that you're not giving a single shit about what other people thinks of you. You know, there are a lot of people still hiding inside their own closet and you might've just gave them courage." Zach went on and that was the nicest thing that I've heard coming from a white straight guy. The world may be changing and I hope it's all for the best.
"Yeah, thank you for appreciating me." I smiled at him.
"Anyway, have you seen Xavier? I'm sorry if I'm asking that. I know you two don't really have the best relationship but I'm looking for him."
"I...I don't know. I haven't seen him all day. W-why are you looking for him?"
"It's nothing. I just need to talk to him."
"Oh, okay. Good luck finding him."
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, just wow. The lord's trying to test me today and I have all my emotions mixed up in a blender. I was just pissed off and then I was baffled and then I had my heart jumping and then I was to being confused. That's not my ideal day but hey, I'm still glad that Zacheus, the hottest guy in school had a longer conversation with me.
I know it's not ever going to happen but I walked away with a huge smile on my face imagining Zacheus Riley as the Prince Charming to my very own gay Cinderella.