"Yes?" I finally managed to give him an answer.
Chishiya... What have you been up to in the last few hours?
"Is everything okay with you? You haven't talked to me like usual," his voice sounded monotonous, but I was surprised that he got involved in the game. I wouldn't have expected that from him.
Option 1: Tell him you were busy.
Option 2: Tell him the truth.
Option 3: Distract from the topic.
Since it was Chishiya I was talking to, it only complicated the situation.
"I've been busy," I replied, letting out a cheerful voice. I heard a hum on the other end of the line. It was clear he didn't believe it. It was just Chishiya, no one could fool him.
"Busy, I understand," he paused and was about to speak when a huge clang came from my bathroom. In shock, I dropped the phone, and it slid under the dresser.
"Johanna?", Chishiya could still be heard quietly, "Hey, Johanna!" I tried to fish for the phone but stopped when I heard footsteps. A door creaked and I slowly realized that someone was now in my room. A sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach.
"Johanna," breathed a quiet voice. A shiver ran down my spine. "You're so pretty, Johanna," I didn't dare turn around. A suspicion crept into my mind, but somehow, I didn't want to check whether I was right. When a cold hand suddenly placed itself on my shoulder, I screamed softly because I was frightened. The person moved without even making a sound.
"You have to be mine today... Johanna...", cold lips suddenly pressed against my neck.
Option 1: Push the person away.
Option 2: Call for help.
Option 3: Do nothing.
Why couldn't you choose two things! It was so easy to make the wrong decision now!
I made up my mind and delivered a powerful blow. Then I pushed the person away. There was a rumble, then a loud "ouch" and finally I looked around. My premonition had turned out to be correct. It was Lukas. And he came through the bathroom window. I just opened it...
No! A very bad situation! I was only dressed in a towel!
Option: Threaten him with the police.
"Get away! You have no business being here! I'll call the police if you don't leave now!" I threatened, knowing that it wouldn't help. I would have liked other options.
At the same moment he had caught himself again. He looked at me with a look that got under my skin.
Pure pleasure...
"Oh Johanna. You don't understand. You don't know how tiring it is to always chase after you. I've always been patient, but now the time has come where I want more from you," he came towards me. I backed away but hit the wall quickly. His hot breath hit my neck and his hands found their place on the towel.
Suddenly he took a swing. The next moment I saw stars and just noticed how he roughly pushed me onto my bed. The towel was suddenly no longer there. I was vulnerable. All attempts to defend myself even a little were immediately blocked by him. There were no options, and I knew that I had initially chosen the wrong answer. My own fault...
What followed was cruel.
I kept trying to push him away, to prevent us from merging together. But at some point, my strength gave out, I could no longer keep his mouth away from my skin - I could no longer push him away from my body. I couldn't even cry, I could only swallow away the anger and frustration. I didn't like the way he pressed against me, the way he ran his hands over my body. He found places with his cold hands that were tender. My body was being forced to do something I didn't want to do, but I couldn't help it. As if on my own, I was aroused by his touch, even though I was screaming inside. I wished I could find a switch within myself that could turn off my body's reactions - but it wouldn't happen.
It was painful when he entered me. He continued to push forward again and again, and I cried out because my sexual organ had contracted in discomfort. But that only seemed to please him even more, he laughed softly as he indifferently fell into a rhythm.
As my pleas and screams became louder, he grabbed a pillow and pressed it against my face. I had no chance to free myself from his grasp; the lack of oxygen soon caused me to hallucinate.
It felt like he was tearing me apart, with every movement my abdomen hurt more - I felt tears forming in my eyes.
What did I do to deserve that?! Why did this game exploit every vulnerable spot?
Sex was supposed to be done for love - it was supposed to make you feel good, it was supposed to be tingling and beautiful.
In the past I had been shown how beautiful the union of two bodies could be. But that sweet memory has now been replaced by this horrible, painful experience...
It felt like hours before he finally let go of me. He hummed in pleasure as he reached his satisfaction, I felt sick as I felt the warmth spreading through me.
I only heard with one ear as he gathered his clothes and disappeared through the bathroom window.
I couldn't and didn't want to move - inside I hoped it had just been a bad dream. But my pain and the tingling between my legs where fluid was running down pulled me back to reality.
It really happened.
I felt dirty. Was it my own fault? Would things have turned out differently if I had chosen differently?
This damn game. I hated it, I hated myself! For being so naive!
I sat up heavily and blinked.
It hurt so much -
"Ayuna," the quiet voice reached my ear and I immediately stopped. No... please don't, don't be on the phone anymore. Despite the pain, I struggled to the dresser after laboriously lifting myself off the bed and dove for the cell phone.
Call: 20 minutes and 55 seconds
He had heard it. It was bad enough. But this realization made it much worse. I pressed the red receiver, and the phone went black.
Chishiya had noticed everything, he had heard everything. I was completely ashamed; it was a hopeless situation.
I had never felt so helpless before.
I would never be able to face him again, that much was clear.
I grabbed my towel and limped back to the bathroom. The window was wide open, the glass carafe that had been standing on the windowsill lay destroyed on the floor.
Where did I take a wrong turn? What could I have done differently? Was there another way?
I dropped the towel next to the tub and slid into the water. The dirt could be washed off, but the handprints could not. They would stick to me without me being able to do anything about it.
What now? What would happen if I chose the wrong answer again and similar situations would arise? What if things got much worse?
I was at my wits' end and couldn't take it anymore. How am I supposed to hold on now?
How should I achieve my goal?