I'm bored and I feel like you don't really know me and I would honestly never shut up about myself if you let me so😂
1. My given name is Alison (please don't call me by it)
2. To explain 1, um, I'm nonbinary, genderfluid specifically and for me personally, anything that holds any femininity in relation to me kind of makes me uncomfortable and for me, the name Alison does that. So does the color pink and more mildly, ruffles, bows, and butterflies
3. I'm a closeted(?) nonbinary person so I am used to the pronouns I've been referenced with since I was born (she/her) but I don't always like it. A majority of the time, I don't care but I have my days where I'm just like no😂
And to add, I prefer they/them generally but it just depends and I've seriously had days where I'm like do not perceive me. Like call me an alien, like don't even try anything else, I don't wanna be a human right now😂
4. My middle name is Rose. I liked it a lot more when I was younger but I'm kinda over it. It does come from my grandma(on my mom's side) whose first name is Rosalinda and I do kinda like that I have part of her name in mine
5. Speaking of my grandma, she is half Filipino and half black (which I didn't know until I was like 11 cause I just thought she was Filipino). My grandpa is black so my mom is a mix of them and my dad is white so me and my brothers are biracial
6. To tie in the previous point, I LOVE some of the Filipino dishes my grandma makes. Number one will ALWAYS be adobo(I honestly don't know how to explain this so you're better off looking it up but people do make it differently but the key ingredient is vinegar). My grandma's specifically(It smells so good I swear. Like you smell it outside the front door from the kitchen and the smell always let me know my favorite dish was being made. And the tears from the smoke😂). It is literally the best thing I've ever had
7. I've mentioned this before but not much. My little brother is 9 and he is my half brother. My older brother is 23 (99 liner with Mark, Hendery, Xiaojun ayyy) and we have the same dad
8. I feel you could still be confused after I say this but this is meant to kind of explain. My older brother is autistic and very "mild" for someone with autism. He very much still has his things, he stims (which is like a form of fidgeting, I think. I forgot but it's a movement thing), he struggles with social cues, not great at understanding jokes (I'm not always great at it either tbh), has ocd traits, etc. Though he is physically older (this is how my mom explained it to me), he's mentally younger and so the younger mentality and a more mature one kind of blend together. Which means I'm kind of like his big sister too, even though I'm physically younger
9. I am actually a middle child. I hate it, the stereotypes are true. Not true for every middle child but you know, those ideas came from somewhere and parents seem to be keeping it alive
10. This was not intentionally supposed to be a fanfic account. NCT, more specifically. I'll explain in the next point cause it goes together
11. This account is my NCT/fanfic/Kpop/whatever account. I had a main account before this. I still use it but less cause I love it here so much more. That being said, when I originally made this account, I just wanted somewhere to start my original stores more hidden away from the friends I have on my main account. It was supposed be like a fresh start. At the time this account was made, I'd already discovered NCT fanfics and I just wanted to kinda separate the two so over here, I'd just read fanfics, whatever. And then I got that idea for 'Genuine' (My first ff story, I am not encouraging you to read it) and started writing it and we already know I have a million ideas and writing/story impulses so now we're here and I'm glad we are
12. Just so you don't get confused, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the friends I have on my main account (my girl cousin is a different story), I just felt extremely insecure being so open about my love for Kpop/NCT (we'll blame my boy cousin for that) and reading fanfics and commenting and I really didn't wanna mention writing my own fanfics when that got added into the mix. But um, no one knows. Like none of my irls, I would not even try with my family, I don't even like them reading regular stuff 😂, and no Internet friends. Unless they're secretly one of you and if you are, we're not gonna talk about it. Ever.
They're not into NCT so I think I'm safe
13. I had something and just forgot it but now I thought of this, I skip over words all the time in writing. By hand and typing. I simply cannot write/type as fast my brain works so I will literally just think of the word, not type it, and move onto the next word to get my thoughts down. I've done this since I was younger and clearly, it hasn't stopped😂
14. I use emojis all the time. I use 😂 probably the most, followed by like 🤗🥺❤️🙄😌✨🤦♀️💀😭😐🤷♀️ Those are definitely not in order but these are my mains. If Wattpad would let me, everything I say in my announcements or if I text would have an emoji, most likely
15. I developed a like for writing when I was 11 (in 6th grade) and my teacher made us, everyday, spend 15 minutes after recess either read, write, or finish an assignment. It was usually reading but some days, he made us write and I spent that entire time filling up a bunch of pages with this random ass story about twin sisters (that aren't actually twins, don't ask me idk) and the younger girl finds out her sister has powers and there was drama over stuff. Idk. And then I literally just added the Dorinda and Joaquin's dance scene from Cheetah Girls 2 (if you're judging me, take it up with my 11 year old self. I'm not her anymore). And then in middle school, my English teacher started every class with ten or 15 minutes of writing to a prompt. I LOVED that. And so I just kept writing and realized it made me happy and I love it now. It's one of my favorite things
16. I got Wattpad when I was...14, I believe and I'd thought about downloading it before but I didn't know what it was and I was talking to a reader friend and how I wanted free books to read online and she told me to get Wattpad so I did
17. All the stuff I wrote on here when I was 14 was an absolute trainwreck. I literally didn't understand basic grammar. Why I didn't break up paragraphs, I don't know. Like I cringe so hard upon seeing what I wrote. I was dedicated though. Wrote a whole 55 chapter mess and then, a 29 chapter mess right after it (I took them both down though. No one needs to see that). I will say that the 29 chapter one was actually not the most horribly written thing ever (says me who literally wrote a screenplay for a musical in that book💀). Besides that, I actually took it down cause I realized I hate the main character. She was exactly what I wanted her to be. I wrote exactly as I intended her to be. But I hate her. And I wasn't down with having a book I wouldn't want to read myself (still kinda not down with it but it depends). The story kind of relies on her being awful though so I just scrapped that😭(I still have it though, but no one's seeing that again)
(This is like all over the place but I can't remember where I'm going😂)
18. I'm pan (you probably know this by now, I will say it at any given time). I came out when I was 15, well I came out to my bff when I was 14 and everyone else at 15. I was actually rushed into coming out cause my slightly younger cousin decided to be a little bitch and threatened to out me to her homophobic mother after I came out to her. I only even came out to her cause that day, out of nowhere, she was like "I think I might be bi" and who am I if not a supportive cousin? So you know, I thought we were good. And then she kept texting me like "if anything happens, it's not my fault" "if my mom finds out anything, it's not my fault" "I'm not a liar". Y'all, the way I wanted to cuss her out so bad but I know if I did then our moms would have stuff against me and I was the victim so I literally had to take deep breaths, think rationally, had to calm myself down and politely respond to her asking why she was doing that and why she'd tell and that I just didn't want her volunteer that information up. I knew that if she told her mom, her mom would tell mine and I refused to be completely rid of a coming out so after that, I came out to my mom. My mom told my dad for me (which only this time I was okay with cause I was nervous to tell him even though my dad is more accepting). My brothers don't know and for about two years, I was strictly not allowed to tell them by order of my mom
Oh, next point!
19. My parents are divorced. I live with my mom, two brothers, and as of last year, my mom's (now) husband. I will not call him anything other than my moms husband when referencing him and that's not going to change ever. Me and my brothers call him by his name and I doubt that's going to change as well
20. I love music. I will comment song lyrics everywhere or mention them whenever I think of the song. Like you know that one hot sauce video (I forget exactly what was happening tbh) and Jaemin named his hot sauce Mouth Suction Gangster and then like one minute later, Jaemin said "sexy" and Mark was like "I'm bringing sexy back 🎶" Yeah, Mark is me. I took choir from 6-8th grade and I honestly should've stopped after 7th grade but I love learning songs and then performing them at our concerts (while I was safely hidden in the other students, no attention for me). All 8th grade choir did was stress me out and give me anxiety so that was fun
21. You know how Mark is a dork? That was such a nice way to begin lmao. But you know how he said "We are at the tram stop. Are you the tram that stops?" and literally anything like that? 1) I would 100% say something like that and 2) If you flirted with me with a dorky line like that, it would work😂
22. I think we've all learned by now that I'm an affectionate person and love it. That is completely true. However, I do think I may seem bubblier than I actually am. I have the general vibe of a 'leave me the fuck alone' shy introvert, unless I know you (and like you) so like at my old school (cause I have no friends at my current school), I would be silent as hell and never really interact with anyone and then at lunch, if I was talking with my friends, I was like a whole new person and then we'd go back to class and I'd be dead silent again
23. ^I'm also not a morning person so my best friend would come up to me to walk to the bus stop and be like "good morning" and I'd be like "morning😒" or "it's morning😒" and we basically got to the point where she'd only say good morning and then wait until we're halfway to school to try to engage in conversation with me cause hopefully I'd be less dead by then
24. I am actually super annoying but luckily, only people close to me get to experience that. I also won't believe you if you tell me I'm not annoying cause I've met enough people who have gotten annoyed of me so I just assume I'm annoying
25. I've been told I'm boring. I'm not exactly mad about it. I'm just bad at conversation and sometimes carrying it and always say "I don't know" in response to like a "what do you wanna do?" question. However, I'm only that peaceful if you are. Like I will hold all the brain cells but if you want me to support your chaotic energy, I'm your person. I will stop us from dying though
26. I am the mom friend. I will get you to listen to me one way or another and if you don't listen and I just stare at you, looking annoyed, I've definitely beaten you up in my mind and you're lucky I care about you and feel guilt cause if I didn't, you'd be dead :)
27. Writing is my passion. So much so that I wanna be an author as my career. It's really stressful though because I have a parent (my dad) who thinks you need to just make money and he doesn't have a lot of faith in writing to produce money. He's a little better now that he realizes I'm not giving that dream up but still. Plus I create my own enemies. I'm insecure and easily discouraged and whenever I see someone write better than I do, I talk down to myself and compare myself. It doesn't help when they're my age or younger than me and writing better than I can cause I keep wondering why I can't do that. When I read a really good book, something beautifully written, I wonder why I can't invoke those feelings, why I can't use pretty words to paint pretty pictures. If I didn't love writing as much as I do, if I didn't need it as an outlet for my sanity, I would be like "why should I even try?" and I still get that feelings sometimes but I write for me so I keep doing it
28. I have a very narrow music taste and it basically consists of the same songs or same type of songs and I don't think I have one of the music tastes where you're like "this playlist/these songs are chef's kiss" like I think I'd give you the reaction of "this song? Really?"😂
29. You probably guessed this from reading this book but I cuss all the time. I don't really cuss out loud (I have almost cussed out loud by accident before though) and I'm not allowed to. But when I'm comfortable and feel like you won't get surprised, I just cuss all the time
30. I should've mentioned this earlier(when I was talking about this type of stuff) but I forget and then remembered but I am, I think the term is ambiamorous. There's better ways to say it how I explain is that I can have one partner or multiple. I simply don't care and I can love any amount of people in any way. I kinda knew that but I didn't know the words or what was going on and then I read a NoRenMin fanfic😂 no but I've read a normal book about a poly relationship but just like NoRenMin books, I couldn't completely relate. What I usually see if one of them is polyamorous and then one or two of them are confused on the fact that you can like/love more than one person at a time and then someone has to explain it to them. But I'm past the point of being confused about having the same feelings for more than one person, I'm completely aware of it
It's not surprising for me as I've always been a person who wants to show love in any way I can that won't make someone uncomfortable so if I love two people, on person, four, it doesn't matter, I'd just do it no problem
31. I know this is where I may lose some of you but...dogsarebetter, I said it. Also I'm terrified of cats and I don't think cats like me either so I just chill with dogs.
32. I cannot explain how fucking creepy and uncomfortable worms make me. I absolutely hate bringing this up cause I hate thinking about worms but they are seriously the worst things. Like people say "creepy crawlers" and maybe you think of beetles and spiders (which I also don't like) but for me, it's worms. And I need them to social distance from me at all times, please and thank you
33. I don't like horrible movies, I don't understand. I don't wanna see a bunch of people get twisted like a pretzel from a curse or demon and then a bunch of people die. Like the thrill or whatever, yeah no. Imma stay here with my fluff and y'all can get your hearts accelerating somewhere else. I'm good
34. I like thrillers/mysteries. Those are fine. For some reason, I kinda like when the um I forget what you call it so let's say "killer" has an understandable motive for the fucked up stuff they do. Like do I want you in prison? 100% but do I know why you did that? Yes. Or I like it if the main characters (at least one) is just stupid enough that they take my attention away from the creepy stuff cause I'm too busy yelling at them for being an idiot. We call that ✨balance✨
35. I think this is so funny considering the story I'm writing but I don't have romantic experiences😂 Never been on a date, never kissed anyone, I'm an affectionate person and I've never even cuddled (which I'm really mad about tbh), like I literally just use past feelings and my imagination for all this. Like I dated and I definitely have experience with heartbreak but I feel like I didn't have dating experience. I don't even have a love life rn (it's kinda boring but I also hate having crushes so it's one or the other)
36. I have a love-hate relationship with chocolate. Like the only chocolate things I 1000% love and always want is brownies and Lindt Lindor truffles. I do get chocolate cravings but I usually prefer chocolate candy cause I don't really like chocolate cake. (I like cake though
37. One of my obsessions is ice cream. Flavors vary but there's not really a time where I don't want ice cream
38. I'm a negative/cynical person and I-(this will probably sound bad) I kinda hate positivity. Like, okay, positivity is good, yes, I agree. You trying to get me to be positive is where the line is getting crossed. I'm one of those people who expect disappointment because that way you can't actually disappoint me, things either go how I expect or better. I've just learned not to get my hopes up and getting my hopes up has never helped me
40. Going along with that^, I am an extremely anxious person. I can't not worry, I can't not think about things going wrong. I'm not calm when it comes to things that can definitely have a bad outcome and it makes my mom or even sometimes my best friend frustrated but I can't help it, I need to know that things will be alright and I don't not find comfort in "stop worrying" "it'll be fine" "I said there's nothing to worry about" like???? How's that help? I know it's annoying when I need reassurance, especially once I question you the third time but I cannot be any amount of calm or okay until then
41. I am a picky eater. And I've learned that people give you a hard time about it when it's actually pretty easy to manage. For example:
- I had the same McDonald's/burger restaurant order for about 8 years. A cheeseburger (as I got older, the burger got bigger but it's essentially the same thing, just an extra layer) with JUST ketchup. As a child, I hated every vegetable in existence if it was not in one of the dishes I liked but now I like lettuce in my burgers/sandwiches. I still order this now. I decided this when I was seven
- If I can get a quesadilla, I will get it. Especially if I don't like the other food options and there's a quesadilla, that's what I will get and that is my requirement when eating at a place I'm not particularly fond of
- As a child, two tacos plain. The only difference is that now I eat four
- I HATE turkey. Also came to this conclusion when I was about seven and refused to eat turkey whenever we had it. It is the driest thing in fucking existence and you will never change my mind. (The ONLY exception is how my grandma and mom make it when it's in turkey gravy...which we call turkey gravy)
- I hate tomatoes. I will die on a hill of tomato hatred. Somehow my mom sometimes forgets this...I've never liked tomatoes
- My grandparents literally made it feel like it was illegal to have a meal without rice. I remember being told that I'd get sick if I hate fried chicken by itself...
Anyways, I love rice and like everything my grandma made was either served over rice or with rice. I only like three types of rices, white rice (my favorite and sometimes I actually struggle to eat meat without it), fried rice, and Spanish rice
Basically all of these were established when I was a child and even if I switch up my McDonald's order, it is still the same order. I started liking chicken sandwiches (didn't really eat them before) and now if I don't want a burger, it's a chicken sandwich. It's a routine. There's like one to four options and they don't really change( if you forget the others, just go with the one you do remember. I will still eat it if it fits my requirements). One thing I will say is difficult is that I used to be so picky I didn't want to eat some food on my plate if it touched other food. Sometimes my dad switched plates with me so I'd eat and then I started to get over it and I don't care THAT much if a side dish mixes a little with my rice (but only a little)
- I have a love/hate relationship with chocolate. This actually goes for, like, all of them but I don't like boxed cake, including chocolate cake. It's mostly chocolate cake I don't like (an exception is tuxedo cake) but I'm not usually craving chocolate ice cream or a double chocolate cookie. I absolutely love brownies and my chocolate cravings usually consist of brownies or like a chocolate bar (this is where Lindor truffles come in but I like other chocolate candies too)
I don't know what else to add so if you have more questions, feel free to ask
I'll update this as I remember but I keep forgetting what I was gonna add 🤦♀️
I love you, bye *kiss*