"You're telling me you brought Jisung to an amusement park and he didn't just stand there?" Jisung rolls his eyes. "Stop looking at me like that. You can't blame me for being surprised."
"Well, they didn't try to force me into going on rollercoasters."
Now it's Mrs. Parks turn to roll her eyes. "You act like you were gonna die."
"I felt like it!"
"You're being dramatic."
"'Cause I'm dramatic about everything, right?" He mutters bitterly.
Mark and Jeno shoot a look at Jisung, having heard him. Mark keeps an eye on Jisung, noting how his mood seems to be getting worse by the second. How it's gotten worse since the call started.
"We seriously used to have such a hard time getting Jisung out of his shell. He wouldn't do anything."
"It sucked 'cause we wanted to have family time and he just wanted to be home or be with Jaemin and Haechan."
Jisung clenches his jaw, wondering what else his parents are going to complain about it while disregarding his feelings.
"You know I was uncomfortable, right?"
"You were with us, what's to be uncomfortable about?"
"It was the other people. And I basically watched myself when you left me with Jiho", Jisung says and eyes his brother.
"Jiho, is that true?"
"It doesn't matter if it is, you'll believe him if he lies to you."
"Jisung, you're still doing this? I thought you'd be more mature."
"How much more mature am I supposed to be?" He asks. "What do you expect for someone who faced hard times in their childhood?"
"Is this about what happened all those years ago?"
Jisung stays quiet, glaring at the screen.
Very worried for the male, Mark decides to get him out of there. "I'm so sorry but Jisung needs to help me carry stuff. Jeno will still talk to you."
"Oh, that's fine."
Of course it is, Jisung thinks with another eyeroll and lets Mark lead him out of the room.
Once they're by the ice machine, Mark stops. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
"What's to talk about? You know more about my lovely family, don't you?"
"I'm sorry."
"Don't pity me."
Mark sighs. "No, I'm genuinely sorry you have to deal with them being like that. You don't deserve it."
Jisung looks away, refusing to take any of the comfort the male wants to give. "It's fine."
"No, it's not and you're not fine either."
"There's nothing I can do." Quieter, he says, "I can't make them care."
Jisung takes the ice bucket from Mark and begins filling it up, signalling the end of their conversation.
➳
"Fuck, fuck, fuck."
"What's going on?" Renjun asks.
"It's Jisung. Like a code red for him."
"Are Mark and Jeno helping him?"
"He's not letting them."
Chenle walks out of the bathroom, a sigh leaving his lips. "He didn't answer his phone and then Jeno texted me that Mark dragged him out to get ice so he'd have to stop talking to his parents."
"They're kind of assholes", Jaemin explains to a slightly confused Renjun.
"Oh shit."
Chenle gets a text that makes him worry even more. He gives the phone to Haechan who cusses at the text. He shows Jaemin who mimics his reaction.
"We're gonna call him."
Chenle nods and lets them use his phone, hoping Jisung can answer this time. As soon as the call connects, the two rush into the bathroom so they can talk to their best friend in private.
"Jisung", Jaemin says.
"Huh?"
"What's going through your mind right now?"
"To be honest, self-destruction."
"And you think a rollercoaster is going to help with that?"
"It's better than what I could do", he blurts. "Sorry."
"Jisung, you hate rollercoasters. They scare you and make you feel unsafe and send you into panic attacks."
That seems to work as Jisung actually focuses on Haechans explanation and feels himself begin to think more rationally.
"Well, you're right...", he trails off.
"I know what you're thinking of, don't do it. Not even this."
"But I wanna do something."
Jaemin looks at Haechan. "Can you give us a minute?"
Haechan nods and leaves the bathroom. Jaemin locks it after him, just to make sure no one else can come in.
"Jisung, listen to me and answer this. Who are you trying to punish, your parents or yourself?"
"If I punish myself, maybe it'll punish them", he mumbles, hating to admit it out loud.
"Hurting yourself is going to hurt you. It's also going to hurt the people that love and care about you but it's going to hurt you. If you want to make your parents regret being as shitty as they are, then fine but you do not have to punish yourself for their mistakes. They are the ones who messed up and did something wrong. The consequences are for them. They're not for you. And I know you wanna shut down and keep Jeno and Mark away and if that's really what's gonna make you the most comfortable, then okay but if you want their comfort, any at all, let them help you. They're not going to do anything you don't want them to do. If you want them to just hold you but not speak at all, they will do that. But you have to let them."
"This is different. It's harder to be okay with new help. I'm still getting used to Lele."
"But you're letting him try. Mark and Jeno will too. I promise you that they won't say anything you don't want them to say, alright? You control if you explain anything or not. They want to help you. They care, they said that. And if you don't believe me, I'll show you the messages to prove it. You might've bickered with Jeno all day-"
"You know about that?"
"Who do you think told Mark how to handle you two? My point is that they care about you as much as you care about them. Like you told me all the time before, 'you should let people love you. You're amazing and you deserve it'."
Jisung cracks a smile, eyes filling with love as he looks at the male. "I love you so much."
"I love you too. Me and Haechan are squishing the hell out of you when we get back. Mark and Jeno will do that for us, for now. Okay?"
Jisung nods. "Okay."
➳
Sungchan isn't expecting Renjun to be outside his door when he opens it and he certainly doesn't expect to find him in tears.
"I'm sorry", Renjun apologizes right before hugging him.
Sungchan hugs him back, having missed the male. He was really upset at first but he knows that he can't blame Renjun for everything that was going on with him. He walks backwards, pulling Renjun inside and stops as soon as he shuts the door.
"I'm not mad anymore."
"It's okay if you are."
"I know but I'm really not mad. I just don't know how to handle some stuff going on right now and that groupchat thing didn't help but you weren't the cause of everything. I'm sorry I didn't say I love you. I do."
"I love you too. How was it with Winwin?"
To lighten the mood, Sungchan grins. "Are you asking for me or for you?"
Renjun rolls his eyes. "I'm asking for you. I know what it's like having Winwin stay with you."
"I think your experience is a little different."
Renjun swats at the taller male, making him laugh. "Not like that!
"You can't deny, it usually is!" Renjun just continues playfully smacking him, following Sungchan around as he moves away. "I'm telling on you!"
➳
Haechan giggles at Jeno nuzzles his nose into the crook of his neck, still holding onto his waist to keep him close.
"You're so cute."
"So are you", Jeno murmurs against his neck and then places a soft kiss on it.
"I love you, Jeno."
"I love you too."
"Does that mean you're finally gonna tell me what we're doing?"
Jeno chuckles and nods. "First, we're gonna eat pizza while Mark isn't here."
"Ooh, tell me there's something with artificial strawberry next", the brunet says making Jeno roll his eyes.
"You'll find out what the actual activity is afterwards."
"No", Haechan says smiling at Jeno. Jeno becomes aware of the extremely tight grip the boy has in his shirt and the underlying menace hidden beneath his smile. "You're gonna tell me right now or one of us won't be having a good time. And we don't want that, do we?"
"That's not very sweet of you, Sweetheart."
"So?"
Jeno rolls his eyes again. "Since someone is so pushy, I'll tell you that I bought some props and had Doyoung help me pick out accessories so we could have a little at-home photoshoot. I figured you'd like it since you always wanna take pictures of us."
Hacehans eyes seem to sparkles as he genuinely grins, making him look so cute and so beautiful. "I love it!"
"I'm glad."
Jeno cups his face and kisses his adorable squishy cheeks, eyes trained on the males happy expression. He's really only done this but Jeno can feel himself falling for the male more and more. It's too hard not to. Haechan's just too irresistible.
"You know", Haechan speaks up quietly. "You're really gonna get on Jaemins bad side."
➳
"Here's an espresso 'cause you're currently depresso."
Xiaojun looks up at Shotaro. "Hendery can do way better than you."
"That's why I tell people he's the funny one", Shotaro says, leaning towards Hendery to point at him before pushing him in the direction of his seat.
Xiaojun picks up the cup with a sigh, mind filled with thoughts of the one person he thinks he should forget.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"You're not gonna hear anything different."
"Doesn't matter", Hendery says with a shrug. "Sometimes you wanna talk about the same thing a bunch of times. And, let's be honest, you barely talk about him at all."
"'Cause I don't want to."
"No, it's 'cause you don't want to remember. You start to speak but as soon as you think for more than two seconds, you brush it off. Your feelings are important, Xiao."
"I'm not saying they're not but...", He trails off, trying to think of how to explain. "He's so hard to talk about. Because it's so easy but when I start-if I talk about anything good, I'll remember all bad. And I don't want to think of the bad 'cause that's my reality. I try to be friendly but..."
"But what?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Hendery asks. "They don't want to be friends."
"Well, yeah, duh. I just mean, why he can't be friends?"
"I wanna talk to him so bad", Xiaojun admits. "I want to text him but I know neither of us are gonna get what we want out of it. He didn't break up with me because he lost feelings. I'm not an idiot, I know he still has them and that's so hard to deal with 'cause he's so perfect and he deserves everything and he said he wants to give me everything. Breaking up with me is his way of making sure I get what I deserve 'cause he knows he can't give it to me. I don't blame him for being scared, I was too but..."
"You wanted to try", Shotaro finishes.
"I still wanna try", the male mumbles. "I like him too much."
"We'll be the judge of that."
"What?"
"How does he make you feel? Tell us."
Xiaojun looks from Shotaro to Hendery. "Are you guys serious?"
Hendery nods. "Tell us about him. We know you don't really like to go into detail but, like, give us something. More than what we know."
"I don't know how to start with his." Xiaojun pauses to think. "Well, I think he's absolutely adorable. And he won't show it, really. It seems like it was just me. He would get so surprised when I'd do even little things for him like make him a cup of coffee or cover him with a blanket before we start a movie. And he's the same way. One time", Xiaojun laughs,"we even argued about who was going to do something for the other. We stayed side by side the whole time in the kitchen, trying to make something for ourselves. He can be good at flirting when he wants to be but he always goes for something much cheesier and blushes at anything nice said to him. And his face always got even redder when I kissed his cheek. If we ever did something he was good at, he made sure to help me and I've caught up him letting me lose on purpose. I hated it but the idea is cute. I don't know how to explain it but it's like...it didn't feel like anything but warmth and comfort, being with him. I have you guys and I love you, but not in that way, but it really felt like I was dating my best friend. Which sucks even worse to lose. I can't keep him."
"Xiao...", Shotaro starts.
Hendery fake coughs, aggressively shaking his head to since his friend. Shotaro looks confused but nods and stays quiet.
"Be honest, do you wanna give up on him?"
"I don't." Xiaojun shakes his head."Not at all."
➳
"What do you mean Jaemin play a guitar and a piano?"
"I mean what I just said."
Mark looks at Jeno. "Why didn't he tell us?"
Haechan raises an eyebrow. "After all this time and you still have to ask why Jaemin doesn't wanna volunteer himself into a position to be praised? Do you even know us?"
"We know we love you", Jeno says, grinning cheekily.
"That didn't answer my question."
"Of course we know you. That's why we like you."
"Mhm."
"Pumpkin", Jeno says to Mark. "Should we show him?"
Haechan blinks, many unholy thoughts running through his head. He does his best to block them out and try to come up with wholesome solutions instead.
"Haechan", Mark says. "What are you thinking about?"
"You two."
"And?"
"You think I tell you everything I think about you?"
"We know you don't but what happen if you did?"
I'd get fucked
Haechan chokes, holding back his own laughter and ends up gasping for breath. He gets up and grabs a water bottle, keeping it to his lips so he doesn't have to talk.
"Unfortunately", Jeno says with a knowing smirk. "We have something else in mind."
"You don't even know what I was thinking."
"That's why you reacted like that, right?"
"You still have no idea what I was thinking. But anyways, get to the point."
Mark and Jeno stand up. While Jeno already goes to get something, Mark looks at down at Haechan. "Promise not to cry."
"What?" Mark disappears down the hallway, only to reappear a few seconds later, Jeno following behind with a guitar. Haechan looks at them in surprise. "What's going on?"
"What we're gonna do right now is sing for you and then we're gonna make a video for Jaemin so he's not left out."
"This is so sweet!"
Jeno grins at Haechan. "Like you."
"You're doing something like this again?"
"Don't make me have to threaten you again."
➳
Jaemin types away on his laptop, subtly jamming to the music playing to entertain him while he completes his tasks.
He's so into the song playing and what he's doing that he doesn't realize what's happening when a ringing sound takes over instead. And then he understands.
His parents are calling.
More shitty family members, yay *unenthusiastic jazz hands*
Heads up, it's a little angsty next chapter but it's (probably) not what you think
There shouldn't be anything soul-crushing (like the NaHyuck break) for the next...three chapters? Three chapters minimum, will probably be more...butnopromises
And look
Tell me this is not XiaoKun
Completely random but I did think about making Jaemins job a task rabbit...Please tell me you get the joke
Also, you ever get the feeling where, like, you have good ideas or your brain is working but you have a decent amount/many central ideas and you just don't wanna do any of them cause thinking about it is, like, half the hard work so you're like already tired from that and you know it takes more work to actually carry it out (but you want to do it)?
I feel like I made that way more complicated than it needed to be...Oh look, a chapter in the story of my life
Anyways, that's me right now writing this cause I know what I'm doing, I know where we're going...kinda...I know where we're meant to be going and it's like so great in my head, being perfected in my thoughts, but like I don't wanna write itttt
I mean I do but I don't
You get me?
That's enough of that. I hope you have a good day
I love you *pecks your cheek*
Not proofread (try again in two years)❤️