MJ
I wake up feeling utterly defeated. I can't muster up enough strength to even roll over to shield myself from the suns harsh glare, forget getting up.
I don't even remember how I got home yesterday, I remember being sat with Peter at the Empire State Building and that's about it. He must've brought me home.
"Mj?" I internally roll my eyes as my sister appears at my doorway. "Where have you been?" She's worried not angry and I begin to feel guilt creeping through my veins.
"I'm sorry Gayle, I stayed with a friend the other night and I've just been so -"
"I get it, it's ok MJ." She says softly joining me in bed and wrapping her arms around me. "I know we've had some issues recently but I promise I'm here for you. I always will be, I'm your big sister Myra and now it's just you and me against the world." Her words are comforting yet painful as they're reminding me of our harsh reality now, we were orphans.
"Thanks Gayle. I'm here for you too, I promise. Me, you, Tommy and the baby are gonna be just fine." She nods and holds me tighter as she begins crying. I try my best at comforting her but ultimately we both end sobbing together as we hold each other.
***
"Oh, that boy you hate came by the house by the way." Gayle says randomly as we're devouring a pizza and watching her favourite romcom. "Boy I hate?" I ask confused, "you know Mj, the one, I can't remember his name now, May's nephew?"
I sit up in interest, "Peter?" She nods, "yeah that's the one." She doesn't elaborate as I stare at her expectantly. "Well..." she glances at me confused, "what?"
"When did he come and what did he say."
"He came twice, once two days ago and then again today whilst you were sleeping."
"And what did he say?"
"Nothing," she laughs slightly as she glances at me. "He didn't say anything special, he was just looking for you." She tells me but I'm not satisfied with that answer. "And he didn't say why?" I continue. "No, I told him he could come in and that I'd wake you up but he said to let you sleep." I smile to myself.
"Jeez, you wouldn't think you hate this kid with the way you're acting."
"I don't hate Peter." I say firmly making her laugh again, "I can tell, so what's going on between the two of you then?" She asks nosily, but I smile at her, it was nice.
"Nothing, he has a girlfriend. It's actually Gwen." Her eyebrows raise, "your best friend Gwen?" I nod, "well we're not really friends anymore."
"Because of Peter?" I shake my head firmly, "no, no, we just ended up drifting."
"That's a shame, I remember how close the two of you used to be." I nod along to her words fondly remembering those days.
"Also I did something really stupid Gayle." She looks worried. "I slept with Peter's best friend." She sits up now, pizza discarded as her mouth drops in shock. "What? Why?" I shrug, "I don't know, we uh we'd been drinking a bit and I knew that he liked me so I kissed him because I was feeling very lonely and then one thing led to another." She sits quietly so I continue.
"I just feel like nothing good is going to come from this now, if I go out with him because I feel like I owe it to him it's all just gonna be one sided. And I don't want to be with him like that, I want... uh I just prefer us as friends but he's dying so I can't be mean and reject him now, not when I made the first move."
"He's dying?" I nod, "yeah you've really dug yourself a hole here."
"I thought you were supposed to give me some good sister advice?"
"I have no advice for this, other than this is why I don't drink and why you shouldn't."
"You can say that again."
***
The last few days with Gayle had been nice, I guess we kind of just ended up acting as though nothing had happened. We both agreed that we wouldn't have moms funeral until aunt Anna returned from wherever it was that she'd gone. We tried getting in contact with her to give her the news but she was unreachable. We just hoped that she'd be back soon.
I was beginning to feel more and more down though. It just felt like slowly, slowly as the days went on weights were being placed on my chest and were beginning to crush me.
I was finding it harder to do things I could normally do with ease, I couldn't even get out bed and when I did, I'd have unbearable headaches or constant nausea as well as just feeling so exhausted that I was sleeping the days away.
The only way I could function like normal as to not worry my sister was to have the occasional sips of alcohol. I knew that I said I'd stop, but I needed it. It was the only thing that helped me.
No one would understand that though, so it was something I kept to myself. I was never stupid enough to drink when I knew that I'd most likely be watching Tommy or anything. It was literally just a sip or two whenever I needed it. And since it was helping me I didn't think there was anything wrong with it, why couldn't I just use to it to calm my mind every now and then.
I only hid it because I knew my sister would completely lose her mind and I didn't need to be stressing her out anymore, not when she was so close to her due date.
"Mj, Harry's here for you." Harry was actually probably the only person who understood and so that's why I guess I kept spending so much time with him. I guess he thought we were dating or whatever and I just let him because I didn't even have the energy for whatever that conversation would bring.
Harry was fun for a good time, but he was not boyfriend material, not for me at least. He'd changed so much after his talk with spider man's. Now all he wanted to do was get drunk and hook up, not that I had a problem with that. But it was actually all he wanted to do, he didn't wanna take me out on dates or even just hang out with me and actually have a conversation. The closest that we'd get to a date would be us going to the club which was fine.
It was just a bit tiring feeling like a trophy piece and not an actual person with thoughts and feelings. I missed how things were when we friends.
"Coming!" I yell back as I grab my bag and then run out. "Hey how-" I'm cut off with a kiss and so I roll my eyes to myself before plastering on a fake smile. "Let's go."
***
Harry and I are separated at the club, not that I care. I actually prefer a bit of space from him for once, it leaves me to actually enjoy myself without worrying about accommodating everything around him.
It's around 2am when I finally decide to leave, I would've stayed longer if I wasn't so tired.
"Mj." Of course Spider-Man is here. "Hey." I grin as he lands in front of me. "You're drunk again?" Peter had been dropping me off home the past week or so. He'd always show up when I ended up alone.
"Are you ok?" He asks this every single time too. I didn't mind seeing him but I just kept feeling like I was letting him down recently. Not that he said anything, I could feel the disappointment rolling off him in waves.
"I'm fine." I reply making him nod, "you want me to-"
I cut him off already used to this little routine between us. "Yeah sure." He sighs to himself making me feel like I'm doing something wrong but I just don't know what it is.
***
"Well thanks for the ride spidey, I'll see you tomorrow night I guess." I wink at him as he helps me into my room and stands by the window awkwardly. "Do you not think that maybe you should, I don't know, uh slow it down with all the drinking?"
"No. Do you not think you should mind your own business?" I scoff as he just stares at me not saying anything. "Why do you even care, we're essentially strangers to each other." I ask stepping forwards so that we were face to face. Well, face to mask.
"I uh, come on Mj you know that after everything we're not strangers, and you're literally the only person I talk to as Spider-Man. No one else knows me like you do and I care about you, I can't help it. It's why I'm here every night. To make sure that you get home safely."
I want to kiss him again. That may be the alcohol talking but it's the only thing on my mind right now.
"Mj?" He waiting for me to say something but what do you say to that? "I'm the only person you speak to?" I'm gloating for sure, I was the only person who could say Spider-Man was my friend? I'm sorry but that was an ultimate bragging right.
"Do not get a big head about that."
"Too late."
"So I could potentially go to the tabloids and be all like I'm Spider-Man's best and only friend?" He gives me half a laugh at that, "you could but who's to say that they'd believe you?"
"Um if I went spouting a bunch of nonsense to that daily bugle guy who seems to hate you so much he'd believe me instantly." I smile once he laughs again.
"Alright Mj, I'm expecting to see you on the front page of the daily bugle one of these days but for now, Goodnight." He says taking a step back making me instantaneously step forwards.
"Um don't go, please." He stops and stares at me for a moment and then nods. "Yeah, I can stay for a bit."
"I'm sorry if this is prying." He starts off as he moves away from the window and closer to me. "But why does your boyfriend ditch you everytime you guys go to the club?"
"He's not my boyfriend." I clarify noting how he steps forwards just a teensy bit more. "He's not?" I don't know what Harry told Peter but technically we never established anything and if the topic of labels were to come up I would shut it down so hard.
"No. He's not my boyfriend." I repeat, not sure why I want to make that painfully clear to Peter. Not when I just remembered that he had Gwen. "Does he know that?" That just reinforces my fears on Harry's thoughts about us.
"I don't know what he thinks." I shrug really not enjoying the conversation right now. "Alright so since he's not your boyfriend is that why you never leave together? Because even if, he shouldn't be leaving you all alone to make your way home at this time go night."
"He's not all bad." I defend, "he gave me my own private driver, to call up at any hour and they'll take me wherever I want." I admit. "He did?" I nod, "but you never call them." I shake my head no. "Why?" I don't say anything as I stare at him and take a step forwards so that we're inches apart. "Oh."
"Mj..." my mind clears at his tone because this is probably where he tells me he has a girlfriend and so I take a step back knowing I could never be the reason someone cheated in their relationship. "You have a girlfriend?" I ask, "no." Well that makes things better for me. "You don't?" I confirm because I would never do that to any girl, especially not Gwen. "No."
I step forwards once more, I was shocked for a moment because I was sure that they were together but Peter wouldn't lie, not about something like that.
"Just to clarify, you're completely single?" I ask trailing my hands up to his shoulders. "C-completely." I tilt my head up and grin, "perfect." I reach for his mask. "Wait, Mj you're drunk." I shrug as he holds my hands and tries to put them back by my side. "I was sober last time I kissed you."
"But you're not this time and you don't even know who I am. I could be anyone of any age." I shrug again, "I don't care." He grabs my face gently. "I care, look we can talk about this another night. Just not now, not whilst I'm not even sure you're gonna remember anything I say." I nod and place my hands over his. "Ok, just please stay with me a bit longer." He nods and so I drop his hands, lean forwards and place my head against his chest.
I smirk to myself as I listen to his notably faster than usual heartbeat, hoping he stays until I fall asleep.