It was dark.
She tried to keep the iridescent night sky in her reverie, remembering how complete it was that cold night with the labyrinth of blinking stars. How ample the full moon was, positioned right above her as she underwent the most horrific incident she had ever been through.
However, the harder she tried to keep that in her brain, the quicker it would fade. All she could remember was the dull ache in her head, and the burning sensation the knife brought upon her body before she went cold.
There was no light.
And that scared her.
She couldn't reach for any bright light that people typically claimed to reach for when death was approaching. It was all just bleak and cold, only for a few minutes. It didn't feel long before she really did spot that bright light.
Hope flickered in her, lifting herself to grab that white light she was so desperate for.
If she left now, Jimin would be heartbroken.
But, it felt so nice.
The feeling of hope and warmth she got when she was one step closer to that bright light told her there was something good waiting for her on the other side. It's all she wanted. If it removed her from her desolated life, she would take it. Seren didn't want to feel the pain of her wounds, she didn't want to endure the heartache Hoseok caused her any longer.
She finally wanted to let it all go.
Though she hoped Jimin would understand.
She hoped Yoongi and Namjoon would, too.
She could feel a smile reach her lips as she eagerly reached the harmless light.
How warm it was. How comforting it was.
She inhaled, wanting to smell her new home.
All that entered her nose was the smell of sterilization chemicals, and that unmistakable smell of antiseptic fuming her nostrils.
Her eyebrows pushed, hearing a beeping machine to the left of her.
She glanced upwards, seeing a monitor that was wired up to her.
Her eyes trailed down to her laying body dressed in a sterile blue gown that hospitals generally provided for their patients. A blank white sheet covered the lower half of her body, while a clear cord connected to the vein at the bend of her elbow.
She felt no pain.
There was no indication of her injuries aching, as if he was cutting through her skin, again. She raised her hand, looking for any sign of the bump left on the side of her head. But, it was bandaged, the gauze rough against her fingertips as she dragged it over her head.
Seren dropped her hand, the sound of the beeping increasing as she absorbed all the new information hurled at her. She wasn't in the afterlife, she actually survived the incident?
Her head began to pound as she tried to soak up this new data, unable to think too hard or her head injury would start beating against her temples, rushing toward the center of her forehead.
She lamented, placing her trembling hand against her striking headache.
Tears began to fall from her eyes when she realized that her room was empty of any visitors. Jimin wasn't there, Yoongi was in no sight, and neither was Namjoon. A sob left her frowning lips, her tears falling past her cheeks, and collecting into the firm pillow behind her.
Seren looked around for a remote to call her nurse, but it was above the table that was a few meters away from her bed.
She flung the blanket off her lower half, composing all the strength in her body to try and get up. But, sudden pain began to sting at random points in her body, her head pounding, causing her to see those same black splotches in her sight like she saw before she passed out on the cold floor.
Just as she reached the edge of her bed, the door abruptly opened, revealing a middle-aged nurse in navy blue scrubs entering the room.
Panic waved through her aged features when she saw Seren pushing to get off the bed.
"Miss Park, please you need to stay in bed." She rushed over, placing her clipboard down on the table beside the bed. "You can't be getting up, it could reopen the wounds the doctors stitch up." She informed, lifting her feet back onto the mattress, and covering her with the sheets.
"You also shouldn't be walking, your head injury was quite severe, you could pass out again if you push yourself too hard, Miss Park." She lectured her, watching Seren sink back into the pillow.
"H-how did I get here?" Her mouth was dry, swallowing down her nonexistent saliva.
"Paramedics. Police received a call informing them of a murder. They arrived, found the faintest pulse in your body, and worked instantly to revive you." She smiled, nodding her head. "You've been asleep for two days, Miss Park."
Seren felt her heart rate pick up, the sound of the machine corresponding to her quick heartbeat. "Two days? H-How?" Her voice cracked, unable to fathom the nurses' words.
"You had a concussion from the head injury you received, so you've been resting for a while. But, I'm sure the doctor will be relieved to hear that you're awake." She nodded, grabbing her clipboard. "You weren't expected to wake up until tomorrow, but you've pulled through, of course, you're very strong."
She nodded, closing her eyes, the beeping decreasing when she began to process everything. "Why don't I have any visitors?" Seren continued to ask, looking around the miserable room that was vacant before her nurse entered.
"So, you only have one person on your emergency contact list, but he's being held in county jail right now, and he won't be allowed here." She informed, setting her pen down after some scribbling. "However, you've had some friends come by demanding that they see you. They even slept outside your room the first night before they were asked to leave. Some real troopers they are."
Her heart went warm, so immensely facilitated that they were there for her after all.
"Why couldn't they be let in?" Seren asked. "One is my little brother. He's family."
"Unfortunately, he wasn't able to come in because he wasn't included on your emergency contact list. He did argue, saying he was family as well, but it's against policy. We couldn't have them enter until you were awake, and consented to it." Her voice was soft and delicate, as though she didn't want to rile her up or stress her even further.
"Can they come now?" Seren continued her list of questions, squinting at her nurse.
"They left their numbers with us, so I'll call them, and let them know that you're finally awake. After, why don't we try drinking some water?" She requested.
Her mouth moistened, and she could swear it was the first time she ever found a simple cup of water so appetizing.
Seren watched as the nurse made her way to the door.
Curiosity struck her mind, wanting to ask one last question.
"Wait, I'm sorry, can I ask one thing?" She questioned, her voice quiet, surprised that the nurse even heard her.
"Of course." Her welcoming smile prompted her forward.
"The man on my emergency contact list..." she swallowed, terrified to ask her next question. "Is he really behind bars?"
She nodded. "Yes, I'm not too sure I can disclose much information, but the police found that he was the one responsible for your condition. He's waiting to speak with a judge, but that won't pass for a few more days." Her eyes were drowned in sympathy, feeling sorry for Seren.
Seren licked her lips, blinking. "Okay. Thank you for letting me know."
"Of course, I'll be here with your water right after I call your friends, and little brother." She informed with one last reassuring grin, leaving the room.
She let her eyes trail back to the blank ceiling, her eyelids weighing down on her eyes. She would have never thought a simple conversion could lead her to the brink of exhaustion, so much information was taken in, wearing her out further. She fought to keep herself awake, she needed to see everyone. To let them know that she was okay and that she hadn't given up.
No matter how much she wanted to reach the bliss of the afterlife, she stayed.
Her eyes began to close, falling into a trance of sleep.
The door opened, abruptly waking her.
"They answered, and they're on their way." Her nurse informed softly. "Why don't you rest, and I'll wake you when they're here, alright? Don't push yourself to stay awake."
"Okay. Thank you." Seren tried on a smile, watching her nurse leave the room yet again.
She slowly blinked, staring at the drip in her arm. It numbed the pain of her wounds, feeling nothing. It slightly worried her, she thought it would be worse. But, she knew the worst would come when she had to take a look at the marks he left on her body, how she would have to accept them as if she's always had them.
When she would have to inevitably face him in that courtroom, the judge and jury counting on her to sentence him accurately.
That's when real pain settled, something morphine couldn't numb. Something that no medicine could make better.
It was the pain of her new reality. Her new life. The new struggles she would face, and the attention she would earn for being a survivor of Jack.
The pain she would endure from being lied to by someone she thought was the love of her life. The one person she thought she could always trust would protect her from the claws of peril.
No doctor could stitch up that bleeding wound.
***
A voice called out to her, a gentle and appeasing tone lacing the woman's voice. It was warm, and soft, wrapping her in a cradling blanket as she awoke from her brief nap, meeting eyes with the caramel-soft brown pair in front of her that was her nurse.
"You've been sleeping for twenty minutes, but they're here to see you. I figured you wouldn't wanna have them waiting." She spoke when she saw Seren open her weary eyes.
Seren agreed, nodding her head at her statement.
"I also replaced the morphine, it seemed like it was running low." She informed, checking the new bag. "And, I was thinking, why don't we have them come in one at a time? So as not to overwhelm you, I spoke to them about it and they all seemed to agree, just as long as they were all able to stay in your room afterward."
After having such a simple conversation with her nurse, Seren ultimately agreed. It would overwhelm her if she spoke to all three of them at the same time, the blow she took to the head was still fresh, and it pained her to think too hard or even overly push herself.
"Okay, I'll go ask one of them to come in." She raised the sidebars of her bed, clicking it so that she had a ledge.
The door opened, and all three of them shot their heads up from the ground, staring at the nurse with waiting and eager eyes that were ready to see their friend no matter the condition she was in.
"Okay, she agrees with the suggestion I gave her." She informed them. "We'll have you guys come in and talk to her, one by one, and after that, you may all stay with her in the room." The nurse arranged prudently, looking after her patient assiduously.
"Alright." Namjoon nodded, staring down the row beside him. "Jimin? Why don't you go first, huh? That's your sister, after all."
Jimin stayed at the end of the seat, chewing his lower lip. "I-I don't know. I'm nervous."
"Jimin, you're her little brother. Chances are, she's gonna wanna see you first before she sees any of us." Yoongi informed, nudging his arm.
Jimin shook his head. "I'm not ready to see her hooked up to all those wires, guys." He muttered, trying to control his voice from whimpering.
"Okay, okay. I will go first." Namjoon determined, lifting up from his chair. He smiled at the nurse, watching her open the door, muttering a thank you.
Seren felt her heart flutter when she watched Namjoon enter the room, dimples digging into his cheeks as usual. His presence made an impact in that despondent room, he brought her optimism, his smile alone could bring light to wilting flowers.
The door shut behind him, leaving the two alone to hold their own conversations and have their small reunion kept private.
Namjoon grabbed an empty chair from against the wall, bringing it close to her bed. "God, Seren. You have no idea how happy I am to see that you're awake. That you're alive." He grabbed her frail hand, dropping his forehead to it.
"I'm happy to see you, too. You guys were all I thought about when everything was... happening." Seren muttered, her chest growing fuzzy when he raised his head from her hand, his eyes slightly red.
"Trust me, we were here in seconds when we heard what happened." Namjoon informed, holding onto her tightly.
"What did you guys hear?" Seren asked, curiosity peaking in her voice.
"A lot of things." Namjoon advised, keeping his soft eyes on her. "We first heard from Jimin. He called me, he sounded scared and said you weren't answering your phone. But, this was before you were even here in the hospital."
"I told him that you were probably just busy with work, and I was certain you were okay. I called you, as I promised Jimin I would. But, you didn't answer me either." His eyes trailed off to the windows that were planted adjacent to him.
"I didn't think anything of it. It wasn't until Yoongi switched on the news later that night, and we saw um... Hoseok being arrested." He cleared his throat, rubbing his nose. "Then... then well, they identified you as the victim, and said you were being transported to this hospital quickly. They said they found a slight pulse. It was slow, and so so quiet. But, they were lucky to find it."
"They said you were in a comma, due to some head injury. And said they didn't know when you'd be awake. It was difficult to hear that, but I just kept thinking about what you went through. How hard that must've been."
Seren nodded, trying her best to squeeze his hand. "How did Jimin take it?"
"He wasn't crying. At first. It wasn't until they denied us from seeing you that he kinda went ballistic. He started yelling at the nurse, then he started sobbing on our way home out of the blue. We were all just kinda keeping our composure, but once we heard him crying, we all just kinda broke down."
"Yoongi, as well?" Seren asked, almost surprised.
She had witnessed Yoongi crying before but never had she seen him break down into tears and sobs. She had seen it from Jimin when their aunt passed, and even Namjoon when his grandfather passed. But, never from Yoongi.
"Yeah. We stayed at my place, and I couldn't sleep, his sobs just kept me up." Namjoon muttered, his expression recoiled, never wanting to revisit such a miserable memory.
"But, after that night, Yoongi just seemed upset. He was free from sadness, he was just angry. He would turn on the news to watch the case unfold, seeing Hoseok being questioned by a bunch of journalists while they moved him jails, trying to figure out what to do with him." He continued, his thumb stroking her skin.
"Jimin was stuck in the bathroom, probably crying. I felt like I had to keep a demeanor for everyone. Yoongi was lost in ire, and Jimin was lost in a pit of misery. All in just two days, before the nurse called me and told me that you were awake, and here we are, now."
"I can't believe I've been out for two whole days..." Seren mused, at a loss for words. "I'm sorry that I made you guys worry so much." She frowned, already sensing tears rush to her eyes as she looked into Namjoon's hurt ones. "You know, when I-I was dying," she said that word with contempt pooling on her tongue. "I thought about that hug we shared. The three of us. It helped distract me from what was really going on. I thought I would never see you guys again. That I would never say goodbye."
More tears spilled passed her cheeks as Namjoon reached over and wiped them off.
"And... I don't know If I'm allowed to say this. But it felt so good to let go. So much relief washed over me. I figured I'd never have to be here, again. Though I felt so selfish for it. It felt nice. It was so cold when I closed my eyes, when I saw the light, it was finally warm." Her voice wavered when she saw Namjoon release a few tears. "But, it was here. This was the light."
He shut his eyes, taking a deep breath in. "Maybe that means change. Things will get better when you get through this, don't let go of hope. You don't have to go through it alone. We're here for you. I'm here for you."
"I know you are. You were always there for me, Namjoon." Seren whispered to him, caressing his cheek. "You're my best friend."
He nodded, a smile reaching his lips, fighting with a frown that tried to persist.
"You're my best friend, too." He said confidently. "How are the wounds? Any discomfort? I can tell the nurse." He released her hand.
"Oh, no. I'm okay. She refilled my bag a little while ago." Seren informed, blinking slowly.
"Okay, I'll go let someone else come in before I take up all your energy." He sniffled, laughing.
"Okay. Thank you, Namjoon." She weakly smiled, watching him raise from his chair and walk over to the door.
"I'll see you right after they've spoken to you." He told her, before exiting the room.
Seren shuddered at the cool feeling that incessantly washed over the room when she was left alone. She pulled the sheets closer to her body as chills ate at the skin on her arms. She kept her eyes up on the ceiling trying to figure out who they were going to send in next.
Was it going to be Yoongi or Jimin?
Part of her hoped that it was going to be Jimin, he was the last person she thought about before death. It would ease her antsy body if he walked through that door.
Just as she thought about it, the door gently opened.
Revealing Yoongi, not Jimin.
Nonetheless, Seren was beyond ecstatic to see Yoongi.
She couldn't help her restless lips as they rose into a smile, her gleaming eyes danced against his porcelain fair skin that matched the wintry moonlight. He gave back the same smile, shutting the door behind him as he approached the chair Namjoon formally sat on.
"Yoongi, I'm so glad you're here, too." Seren mumbled, her voice still hoarse.
His eyes quickly examined her body, the state of her exhausted face, and all the machines that were hooked up to her. He sat down, ending his itinerary at her prevailing smile, his heart aching at the sore sight of her condition.
"It's okay. I'm not in pain." Confidence rushed through her voice, glancing at the IV needle in the bend of her elbow. "I'm on something that doesn't even make me feel anything. Seriously, I feel nothing."
Yoongi chuckled. "Morphine, I'm guessing."
She nodded, and the corner of her lip arched. "Yup."
"I'm just glad you can't feel them. The last thing I'd want for you is to be in more pain that you don't deserve." He shook his head, his tongue poking through the side of his cheek as his mind trailed.
Trailed to Hoseok, and the nauseating state he put Seren in.
"I should have done something." He muttered, running his fingers through his hair.
Seren's eyebrows pushed, taken aback by his statement. "What do you mean? What could you have done?"
"Taken you back from him." He said with no hesitation to defy him.
Her lips parted, wanting to say something. "I-I would have said no."
"You remember when I told you that I wanted to live here because I miss being here, in Busan?" He asked, and she nodded in response. "Well, it was all bullshit. Not that I don't love it here, I do. I love that my family is so close, but I just found out they were moving elsewhere. Not the point, I initially came here, because I finally worked up the courage to want to say something and do something about us."
"What do you mean us?" Seren asked hoarsely.
"I mean, we had something in high school. And every time I came back to visit, we continued that. I could never work up the courage to just say that I love you, and I wanted you for myself." He stared at the ground as he spoke, ashamed to look into her eyes.
"I knew you did." She informed, earning his glance. "I saw the way you acted when we all went out to that bar. When you told me those things at Namjoon's house, it seemed like you were saying goodbye, and I hated that."
"There's no doubt that I love you, too, Yoongi. But, I can't see myself loving so soon again when I quite literally got my heart ripped right out of me." She told him, looking down at his toying fingers.
"I understand. That's why I didn't wanna say anything. But, I always found an excuse to quiet my feelings, so I just decided to do it now before I never get to." He put his hands up to the rail, keeping his eyes on hers. "You know, when we found out you were here in this hospital and the doctors said they had no idea when you'd wake, I think I was in so much shock, I had no emotions."
"Almost as if they were clogged. I couldn't get anything out. Not even words. I was afraid I'd end up sobbing. It wasn't until Jimin started crying in the backseat, and I heard him trying to hide his sniffling. I glanced over, and there he was, staring out the window, crying. I look over at my passenger and see Namjoon wiping silent tears off his cheeks, and I completely just broke down."
Even after Namjoon told his point of view on this story already, it still brought Seren to tears. They cared for her, and she always knew that. But, for them to have to go through something like this and see that there might have been a chance she would have never woken up must have been devastating.
"To say I sobbed for hours would be an understatement. I think I kept Namjoon awake since we both slept in the living room that night. We let Jimin take Namjoon's bed. But, he ended up joining us in the living room, he said he couldn't sleep alone."
Seren reached for his hand, caressing his cool smooth skin as he went on with his story.
"But, when they called and said you were finally awake, we were all so relieved, we dropped everything and raced over here. I might have blew a few stop signs." He chuckled sheepishly, earning a laugh from Seren.
"I guess I'm trying to say I'm happy you're okay. I'm relieved, and I feel like I finally have pressure off my chest." Yoongi interlaced his fingers with hers.
Seren felt her cheeks heat up when her heart monitor began to voice her flustered heart to the both of them.
Yoongi just chuckled, his lips tugging into a cheeky grin.
"If you loved me all this time, why wouldn't you ever tell me?" Seren ignored the beeping that corresponded to her heart. "You never called, hardly texted. We spent those nights together, but never spoke about them. It was just... kinda unhealthy."
He shook his head, huffing quietly. "Honestly, I don't know why I ever did that to you. I was just afraid that you saw those as one night stands, something you didn't wanna have to talk about, or ever want me to bring up."
"Yoongi, I almost prayed that you'd speak up about it because I never knew what to say to you after." She told him, her heartbeat abating. "I've always felt the same way for you, ever since high school. I just had to bury those feelings after... you know... Hoseok."
He pinched his lips, nodding. "I know. And it might seem selfish to say, but I never did. The day I met him, I just wanted to make him so jealous. I wanted to hold you for as long as possible with my eyes on him, I just wanted you back."
"Well, it worked." She recalled, shutting her eyes. "He was pretty stressed out that night."
"It doesn't even mean anything now. I don't wanna think about him, or even talk about him." Yoongi's voice was quiet with hidden stains of animosity. "I'm just glad I was able to tell you this. And just so you know, I wasn't expecting you to instantly want to fall in love with me again. Though, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want that."
She smiled lightly. "There's no reason to fall in love with you again. I've always loved you, Yoongi. I'm happy you were able to tell me this, too."
He squeezed her hand gently, lifting from his seat and laying a kiss on her forehead. "I'll leave you to talk with Jimin. I'm sure you're waiting to see him."
Her heart dropped, watching Yoongi part from her bed.
Quickly, she reached for his hand, ignoring the pain that surged through her body from the long stretch she made.
"Please... I need to know. Is he afraid to see me?" Seren asked, staring up into Yoongi's eyes.
"He's still a little bit anxious, yeah. He's not afraid, though." Yoongi turned back to face her, his hand on the rail. "He's your little brother, he cares for you and wants to see you, but he just can't bare seeing you this way."
She swallowed, nodding her head. "I can't bare having him see me this way, either."
"I know it seems hard, but when you guys see each other, all that doubt is going to disappear." He whispered to her. "You guys need each other more than ever, right now." Yoongi advised, releasing her hand. "Don't worry, Seren. I'll go get him, and you'll see that there was no point to ever be nervous."
Seren tried agreeing with Yoongi. What he said was true. They did need each other more than ever at that moment. It would heal something in her if she saw Jimin, and cried with him. If she hugged him and reassured him that she was okay.
"Okay," she nodded, blinking. "Thank you. You can let him in."
He left with a smile on his lips, opening the door, and allowing it to automatically shut behind him as she watched him through the small window, communicating with someone.
She took a deep breath in, reminded by the monitor that her heartbeat was slightly offkey.
Her cheeks flushed when the image of Yoongi's grin appeared in her head, the way he smiled when her heart went slightly crazy as he held her hand for the first time in a few weeks.
The feel of his skin never quite waned, her hand pricking as she replayed that moment.
She heard the door open, completely wiping her from her thoughts as her eyes went straight over to her little brother standing in the entryway, shutting the door behind him.
His blond hair was disheveled, and he looked as though he hadn't gotten the right amount of sleep in a few days, faint dark circles sat beneath his red eyes.
Seren tried to smile, but instead, her lips frowned. "Jimin." His name came out a cry, unexpected tears sprinted down her cheeks.
His expression mirrored hers, reaching over to her bed. "Seren."
☾