Kiara turns off the shower and grabs a towel, wrapping it around her. She brushes her teeth and wash her face before drying herself and putting on her pyjamas. She goes in to her bedroom and crawls in to bed. The feeling of softness and warmth makes her body instantly relax and drift away in sleep.
The next morning she wakes up with a pain in her arm. She doesn't think much of it, she's probably just slept on it. But the pain gets worse, it feels like the skin is burning. Kiara goes to the bathroom and looks at her arm in the mirror. She pulls her sleeve up and it's like it clicks in her. The pain and the mark on her arm triggers the memory. Rafe.
"Shit."
Her arm is bruised, there's a big purple and blue bruise just where Rafe grabbed her. She gently touches the bruise but immediately flinch in pain. It's really sore and painful. The memory suddenly hits Kiara with a wave of anxiety and tears starts to fall down her face. She gently pulls down her sleeve again, winching in pain when her hand touches the bruise.
She walks back to her bed, crawling in to it, covering herself with her duvet. She starts to sob, letting all of her emotions out. She feels weak, confused and frustrated.
Weak for letting Rafe say and do those things to her, she knows that he is violent, that he gets into fights with pouges and does everything to keep his kook "legacy". She should've said or done something but in that moment it was like she froze. When Rafe grabbed her arm, all she could think of was how he could know about her and the boy.
She feels confused about her emotions towards the boy, about his feelings and thoughts. There's so much undiscovered territory between the two, things that's been left unsaid for too long, things that they don't know about each other yet.
She feels frustrated that he left, in such a vulnerable and intimate moment he just decided to leave. Why? All Kiara wants to know is what's going through the boys head, why he took her hand and suddenly opened up for her. But the least thing she wants is to scare him away again, or pressure him to say or do anything he doesn't want to. Which is why she can't ask, how do you even ask someone that? A complete stranger, or is he still that?
Kiara lays in bed for a while, thinking and crying. Clinging on to her pillow, feeling like she'll feel like this forever. Until she hears the doorbell ring.
"Mom? Dad? Can you get the door?!"
No answer, they're probably outside or already at work. It only takes a few second until she hears it again, twice. She gets out of bed and goes downstairs to open the door.
It's the boy.
"What are you doing here?"
"I got groceries."
He says it so casually, like it's the most common and normal thing.
"What?"
"I uh.. I'm helping Pope and his dad deliver groceries and there wasn't anyone at the docks so I- Have you been crying?"
Kiara backs away from the door, avoiding eye contact. She quickly wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. Kiara then looks up at the boy.
"I can take those."
"Yeah sure, here."
The boy gives her the bags and she's just about to close the door when he speaks.
"Can we talk?"
Kiara looks at him confused but quickly notices that he's nervous. The boy runs his hand through his hair, looking everywhere but at her. It's like he just realised where he is and what he's said. Kiara sighs and smiles at him.
"Yeah, sure. Wanna come in?"
He nods, walking after her and closing the door behind him. They walk to the kitchen and Kiara starts unpacking the bags. It's silence while she unpacks them, putting away groceries in the fridge, freezer and cupboards. When she's done she turns around, facing the boy.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"I guess I just wanted to.. Uh.. Say that I'm sorry. For acting like an idiot again and leaving without saying anything."
"You're not an idiot."
The boy meets her eyes, he feels comfort in them. Kiara sounds so genuine and caring when she speaks, even though she did feel hurt. She knows deep down that it wasn't his fault.
"But it did upset me when you just left after you know.."
They both blush at the thought. Of them holding each other, touching each other.
"I really didn't want to leave, trust me."
"Then why did you?"
Kiara sounds frustrated, almost a bit upset. She just wants to know, she needs to. The boy is quiet for a while, looking down at his hands and playing with the rings on his fingers.
"I had to."
Kiara looks at him confused.
"I had to cause I would've done something I'd might regret."
"What do you mean?"
The boy sighs and looks up at Kiara.
"I would've kissed you."
"Oh."
Kiara can't believe what just came out of the boy's mouth. She tries to make sense of it all but her mind is blurry.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that. I know we don't know each other that well yet.. But I just can't stop thinking about you."
"I can't either."
They boys eyes gets soft as he looks at her.
"But you're right.. We don't know each other. You're a stranger, I don't even know your name."
"It's JJ."
Finally she's got a name for the boy. After all these months, that's felt like a fucking lifetime, she finally knows his name.
"But I still don't-"
Kiara is interrupted by the front-door unlocking and opening.
"Kiara?! You home?"
"Shit. It's my mom, you gotta go."
"Uh yeah sure."
Kiara panically drags JJ to the back door.
"Kiara! Where are you?"
Kiara opens the door and takes a quick look at the boy.
"Meet me at the beach tonight at 7, by the docks."
JJ smiles and kisses her on cheek before running away. Kiara instantly blush.
"There you are! Have you been outside?"
"Uh yeah.. We got groceries delivered."
"Oh that's good. Need any help putting it away?"
"No it's all done, I was just locking the door. Where's dad?"
"He's outside packing the car, we're going back to the restaurant soon. We just had..."
Kiara zones out and her thoughts goes directly to the boy, JJ. He wanted to kiss her. She couldn't believe that he said that, it felt so unreal but also so real and honest. They way he looked at her with his mesmerising blue eyes. And his blonde hair, his chapped and puffy lips.. He's so beautiful and-
"Kiara? Are you listening to me?"
Kiara snaps out of her thoughts and looks at her mom.
"Yeah sorry.. Just a lot on my mind."
"We'll be back late tonight. We're having a farewell party for one of our workers. There's some leftovers in the fridge that you can eat."
"Oh ok, thanks."
Her mom hugs her and kisses her on the head before leaving.
{Time skip}
The time has never gone slower. It's an hour left until she's supposed to meet the boy- No sorry JJ, at the beach. The whole thing feels unrealistic, too good to be true. Her stomach is full of butterflies, it feels like she's going to explode any second. It's all so new and it's happened so quickly. But then there's the feeling of fear.. That he'll leave again, maybe change his mind or she'll wake up and it's all just a dream.
The time is only 6.15 but Kiara can't sit around and wait any longer. She changes into a tank top and some shorts, goes downstairs and puts on her sneakers. Just as she's about to leave she notices her arm in the hallway mirror.
"Shit."
She doesn't want JJ to see it so she grabs a hoodie and pulls it over her head. The hoodie rubs against her bruise when she puts it on, causing her to flinch a little. She pulls it all the way down and looks in the mirror again.
"That will do."
Kiara walks out the door, locking it and starts walking towards the beach. It's still quite bright outside and there's a light breeze. The fresh air is making her calm down a bit, not feeling as nervous as before.
Kiara reaches the beach, walking on to the docks. She looks around, searching for JJ but he's no where to be seen, it's only 6.30 though. She sits down at the end with her legs hanging down.
Every now and then she looks at the time..
6.34
6.38
6.42
6.47
6.54
He'll be here soon.
6.59
7.03
7.08
Where is he?
7.15
7.23
Kiara's getting impatient and nervous. Feeling sad and frustrated that he's not here yet. It was 7 right? Not 7.30 or 7.45?
7.34
He's not coming.
7.46
8.02
8.15
Kiara feels stupid, of course he's not here. It was too good to be true, just as she predicted.
She's is just about to leave when she hears someone running on the docks.
"Shit I'm sorry!"
It's JJ. He's out of breathe and looks at Kiara with his hands on his knees.
"You're over an hour late!"
"I know I know. Fuck I- I had to-"
"Had to what?"
Kiara feels deeply disappointed in the boy. Maybe she's not obligated to do so, knowing that they're only strangers but she was so hopeful.
"What JJ?!"
JJ tries to find his words, it looks like he's not sure if he wants to tell her. Kiara notices it right away and it annoys her. She really wanted it to be different, that he would trust her enough to tell her the truth.
"Never mind this was just all bullshit any way. I shouldn't have come here."
"No no. It's not bullshit!"
"Then tell me JJ! Be honest."
JJ sighs.
"It was my dad."
Oh. Shit. Kiara feels really dumb, how could she be so insensitive.
"I'm sorry I-"
"No don't be. I'm the one who's sorry. I was gonna come here earlier cause I couldn't sit around and wait but on the way out my dad saw me. He got mad about something stupid and irrelevant. Screaming at me and hitting me like usual. He said things that I- that I couldn't just let slip. I got mad and hit him back.. And I had to clean this before coming here so you wouldn't notice."
JJ lifts his hair up and shows a cut, it's not bleeding anymore but it's red and sore.
"Fuck JJ. Are you ok?"
"Yeah.. It's nothing that hasn't happened before."
He chuckles, trying to light up the mood. But Kiara doesn't chuckle back, her stomach feels heavy and she wants to hold the boy in front of her, keep him safe.
"I want to hug you."
JJ's smirk fades away and he looks at Kiara with soft and slightly confused eyes.
"Can I?"
He nods. Kiara moves closer to him, wrapping her harms around his torso and resting her head on his shoulder. JJ wraps his hands around her waist, pulling her closer. A feeling of relief washes over them both.
In this moment they both knew, without speaking, that they're each other's safety.
They slowly separate the hug, but still being close. Their hands are intertwined while they're resting their foreheads together with their eyes closed. The feeling of their skins touching is warm and comforting, it's like they need to be this close to breathe. To feel completely safe.
"Wanna go to my place?"
Kiara speaks softly.
"What about your parents?"
"They won't be home until midnight. Come, let's go."
Kiara moves away from JJ, but still having her hand in his. They walk the whole way hand in hand, feeling the warmth of their skin against each other.
{At Kiara's house}
They're sitting on the couch in the living room, talking while having the tv on in the background.
"Wanna play 20 questions?"
"Sure."
"So there's some rules."
"Rules?"
"Yes. You have to answer honestly and you can ask anything you want without explanation."
"Anything huh?"
JJ smirks and winks at Kiara, making her cheek turn pink.
"Yes, anything. I'll go first."
She thinks about what to ask, she doesn't want to throw him a big question right away even though it's really tempting. She starts off with a simple and easy question.
"What's your last name?"
"Maybank."
"JJ Maybank. I like it."
JJ smiles at her.
"It's nice to hear you say my name."
"It's nice to finally know it."
They chuckle a little and keep on playing the game. The 20 questions turns into 40 and 60 and then 100. They've now talked for hours, about everything and anything. Under these hours they've gotten to know each other way more, and it's starting to feel like they've known each other for their whole life.
They both talk about their friends and interests, finding out stuff about each other that they have in common and that they don't. Surfing is something they both love, but for Kiara to hear JJ's passionate voice and seeing his face lit up when he talks about surfing is a whole other level of "loving to surf".
But there's things they leave out. Like the fact that JJ's dad basically uses him as a punching bag. Abusing him mentally and physically.
Or that Kiara can't talk to her parents. That they're so caught up by living the perfect kook life that they don't notice their own daughter's problems.
They both just want to stay in the good atmosphere, not bring up heavy subjects cause it might ruin the moment.
Kiara reaches for her phone on the coffee table in front of her. Shit. Her mom messaged her one hour ago saying they'll be home at 00.30. It's now 00.25.
"Uhm, my parents will be home in like 5 minutes."
"Oh, I'll go."
JJ stands up from the couch, fixing his shirt and walks toward the front door.
"No wait! They'll see you. You gotta go out the back."
JJ's face falls. He remembers that she's a kook and he's a pouge, not really the people who should be around each other. Especially in front of kook parents.
"Yeah, sure."
Kiara notices his immediate change in expression.
"I'm sorry it's just that-"
"I know, you can't be hanging around with a pouge."
"It's not like that JJ, I just-"
"Cut the bullshit. That's exactly what it is. You don't want your parents to know you're hanging out with a pouge, cause it'll ruin your reputation."
JJ sounds upset and he has all the right to be. Kiara knows he's right. But she's not ashamed or embarrassed to be around the boy, she's just not feeling like being confronted by her parents.
"Kiara! Are you home?"
"Sch Mike! She could be sleeping!"
In the panic of the moment, Kiara reaches for JJ's hand. Turing him towards her, so their eyes meet.
"I don't care what my parents think. But I can't deal with their confrontation right now. I'm sorry."
JJ looks down breaking eye contact. He shakes her hand off and walks out the back door without saying anything.
Kiara feels like crying, like screaming out her lungs.
"Kiara, why aren't you asleep?"
Kiara turns around and faces her parents. Her tears and in her throat, if she speaks she'll break down. She tries her best to press it down, to swallow it, but it's really hard and it hurts like hell.
"Is everything alright?"
That's when she break down. Right in front of her parents. Her tears streams down her cheek like a waterfall.
"Oh sweetheart."
Kiara's mom takes her in her arms. Stroking her head and holding her close. Kiara is now a sobbing mess, all her emotions pouring out of her eyes. Her chest feels heavy, like there's a big stone pressing down on her. She feels extremely weak and lost, this wasn't what she wanted to happen. They'd gotten so close, they told each other things they've never said before and even small and unnecessary things that isn't important at all but felt like they were in that moment.
{In the meantime, at the chateau}
JJ's beating himself mentally for just running away like he did. But he's so bad at all this, at emotional and complicated things. He wants to be with her, in one way or another but they shouldn't, they can't. They're completely different persons.
Kiara is a kook who has all the money she needs and every opportunity she wants. JJ doesn't have any of that, the only money he has he uses to get beer or weed and the opportunities for the future are barley existing.
"FUCK!"
JJ shouts into through the chateau, grabbing his chest as it becomes heavier and heavier like he's having a anxiety attack. His head is full of frustration, anger and sadness and the only thing he can think of, that will make him feel better is drinking beer and smoking weed.
Which is exactly what he does, he pulls out a joint from his pocket and lights it. Inhaling and exhaling, making him calm down. He grabs a beer from the fridge, opens it and pours the liquid down his throat. One beer turns into 7 and one joint turns into 5. And he ends up collapsing on the couch, with beer cans all over him and burnt joints in the ashtray.