Taeyong blinks back his tears, feeling so fucking tired of dealing with this. Tired of holding onto the guilt, the words, the hatred.
THAT'S NOT ME ANYMORE!, he wants to scream.
But he still doesn't feel like anyone would hear him.
Sure, he has his boyfriends who love him and he hasn't actually lost any of his current friends. Except maybe Mark.
He misses him. He misses their random conversations, especially when they'd video call while he was tipsy because it was just nonstop laughter. He misses being able to just spend time with the male and not feel forced to say anything or act a certain way. Not that he feels this way with anyone else, but he's just always been the most comfortable with Mark.
He's not sure if Mark even remembers the affection he used to give him, having seemed to reserve that for Chenle, Johnny, Jaehyun, and his boyfriends, but he misses that too.
"Does he even want to talk to me?" The male mumbles, picking up his phone and scrolling through his contacts for the boy.
Yong
Yong
Hey Mark?
Mark
Wassup
Everything okay with you?
Yong
I don't know
Do I still have you as my friend?
Mark
Dude, of course
What's going on?
Yong
You don't talk to me anymore
Mark
I'm sorry
Yong
Just a question, are you still mad
at me for what I did to Haechan?
Mark
What? No
Haechan's not mad at you either
Yong
It feels like everybody else is
No one's been normal with me since
that party as much they try to
pretend
Even Doyoung and Yuta are extra
careful making sure I'm not gonna
turn back into the old Taeyong
Mark
But Jaehyun said you were acting
weird...
Yong
Why do you think that is?
I fucking scared you all and I'm just
waiting for someone besides Jisung
to show how much they hate me
Mark
I don't think Jisung hates you
Yong
If I asked him, he'd say yes
I would test it out but I didn't plan on
giving myself that many reasons to
cry today
Mark
Yong, I'm seriously worried about you
I promise that I'm not even thinking
about that. I've honestly been a shit
friend to some people lately. I can't
even remember the last time I talked
to anyone besides Johnny and Jaehyun
and I could've been a better friend to
Jaehyun too
I'm really sorry and I'll work on it but
just know that I'm not mad at you or
anything and I really didn't mean to
not talk to you for this long
Yong
It's okay
Mark
No it's not
Cause it hurt you
But I'm not letting this happen again
Yong
Okay
Mark
Get ready
Yong
Why?
Mark
Cause I'm picking you up and we're
gonna go for a drive and scream to
songs and admire nature
Yong
Text me when you're here
➳
Zoe
Hey, Archer wants your number
Jeno
I'm fine with that
Zoe
Okay
Unknown
Unknown
Hi, this is Archer
Please tell me this is Jeno
Jeno
It is😂
To what do I owe this pleasure?
Archer
It makes sense now
Jeno
What does?
Archer
The crush
Jeno
I'm not asking next time
Archer
😂
So I wanted to ask if you could put
me in a gc with you and your
boyfriends so I can tell you guys
something
Jeno
Is it about Zoe's birthday?
Archer
Yes
Jeno
Okay. Hang on
Archer, Sweetheart, Princess...
Sweetheart
If I had a hundred for every
groupchat I'm in I'd have almost a thousand dollars
Pumpkin
Who's the other person in here?
Archer
Zoe's girlfriend
Sweetheart
Hi Archer
Pumpkin
Hi
Princess
Nice to meet you!!
Archer
I can't believe the one I don't know
is the one who sounds the most
excited
Sweetheart
Enthusiasm is more Jaemins thing
Archer
I'll take it
Anywaysssss
What are your plans for December
16th?
Princess
I'm guessing it's whatever you have
planned on that day
Archer
I can't tell if that's sass or not
Jeno
It is
Sweetheart
It most definitely is
Though I do have the same reaction
What's on the 16th?
Archer
Zoe's birthday
I want to throw her a party but I
have to make sure it's up to Zoe's
Pparty standards
Pumpkin
What are they?
Archer
Best friends are required, everyone
else is optional
Everyone must bring a gift no matter
who they are cause why the fuck
wouldn't you???
Under no circumstances should a
party ever take place in her own
personal space if it's not an event
she's eager to host in her home
Lots and lots of food
That's like in general but as her
girlfriend, I have my own set of
guidelines
It's much shorter. For any special
occasion, the affection must increase
or maintain the normal amount,
give a gift if the occasion calls for it,
and snacks
Princess
Boyfriends, take notes
Pumpkin
I completely agree with that
I feel like we don't need that as a
rule though
Sweetheart
Does that mean I no longer have to
ask for affection and you'll just do
it?
Pumpkin
I thought I already just did it
Jeno
Well now that's official
Also we will be there but we do
need details
Archer
Right
OH WAIT JENO
Okay so obviously you guys but like
would she want her cousins there
or just parents and sister or...
Jeno
I thought...
Archer
Oh her cousins do hate me but like
it ain't about me and I don't give a
fuck anyways
Jeno
Don't invite them
Zoe's not their biggest fan and the
tension will make her uncomfortable
Also don't invite her parents
They'll probably do something with
her anyway
Her sister is fine
Archer
Kay, thank you
That's really all I was thinking so
I don't overwhelm her
Wait
Jeno, your coworkers
Jeno
Zoe's on good terms with everyone
Oh this one guy pisses her off but everyone's fine
I can think of like three people I
think she'd be fine with but um I
don't really speak to them unless it's
about work
Archer
Just text me their names and I'll
figure it out when I visit Zoe at
work
Do any of you guys have allergies?
Sweetheart
Peanuts and tree nuts
Archer
Well I wasn't planning on getting
anything that contains nuts and
Zoe HATES them
Princess
I'm not allergic to anything, just
a picky eater sometimes
Archer
Zoe is too
How do we feel about chicken wings,
fries, and pizza from that one pizza
place that's near downtown?
Princess
I love that place
Sweetheart
Me too
I love the wings
Pumpkin
That's fine. I'm not the biggest fan
of pizza but I'll eat it
Jeno
That's fine with me too
Archer
Don't worry Mark, Zoe kinda hates
pizza so that wasn't gonna be the
only food option
I mean she'll probably just eat wings
and fries but if I got something else
she'd eat it
I could make burgers and hotdogs
and stuff
And I could get a sushi platter
Or two
Since there's not many people, I don't
really care so like what do y'all want?
Pumpkin
That's fine to me. I'll eat a burger or
a hotdog
Jeno
Yeah, I think those are good options
Would Zoe's sister like any of those?
Archer
A burger at the least
Zoe said she and her sister are both
tired pizza of it from eating it so
much as kids
Jeno
Oh okay
Archer
Do you any of you not drink soda
or have a flavor request?
Sweetheart
Cherry Pepsi
Archer
Okay
Anything else?
Pumpkin
Can you get lemonade or a juice
or something please?
Sweetheart
Shit I forgot to say please
Cherry Pepsi, please*
Archer
😂
It's fine
I know y'all are nice
So cherry pepsi and lemonade?
Jeno, do me a favor and ask Zoe
what she wants for her birthday
Jeno
Okay
Zoe
Jeno
What do you want for your birthday?
Zoe
She's throwing me a party, isn't she?
Jeno
Ask her
Now please answer my question😊
Zoe
I feel like you're threatening me
And I think whatever you see
fits for me will be fine
Jeno
...Okay...
Archer, Sweetheart, Princess...
Jeno
Whatever I see fit for her will be fine?
Archer
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
She's not even guiding me in a
direction
Whatever I think
WHAT SHOULD I BE THINKING
Like does it really mean whatever I
think she likes or does she want a
specific thing that I'll be a horrible
girlfriend for not realizing she wants?
WHAT DOES IT MEAN
Zoe
Jeno
What does that mean?
Some people are having mental breakdowns
Zoe
It's not supposed to be difficult
I just wanna see what you guys would
be pick for me just by you knowing me
and thinking about me
As long as it not things I obviously
won't like, there's no wrong answer
Jeno
Have you told me everything you like?
Zoe
I think you know enough
Like you know I like cookies n cream
so if you went with a candy bar as
your gift, that at least makes sense for
me
But please give me more than a candy
bar
Encourage other people to give me
something like that as well, I only have
high expectations for my best friends
Jeno
Of course
But I can imagine that my boyfriends
won't leave it at just that, especially
not Jaemin
Oh, to confirm, there's no specific
thing you want right? Like you just
wanna see what we'd get you based
on knowing you?
Zoe
Yes
It's so interesting "hearing" you say boyfriends
I don't think I've heard you say that
before
Jeno
Interesting things are happening
lately
Zoe
Oh?👀
Jeno
I have to explain this to other people
so can I put you in a gc with them?
You've already met Chenle and I'm
positive you'll get along with Doyoung
Zoe
Groupchats are fine
It's in person that freaks me out
Unless someone hates me, you know
Jeno
Well I don't ever plan on being friends
with anyone who doesn't like you so
you don't have to worry about that
I'll be back, your girlfriend is
screaming again
➳
Chenle
MARK AND JENO KISSED
Cute boy
Did you have to announce that to
the entire groupchat?
Chenle
They'll all find out eventually
Baby #2
WHEN
Cutie
We went on a date the other day
and I, uh, kissed him
Johnny
YOU INITIATED IT???!!
Doyoung
I didn't take you for the bold type
Cute boy
You wanna know what else he said?
Cutie
NO
Because he likes to take things wildly
out of context
Cute boy
You implied that I was right
Baby #2
🤨
Cutie
Let's not do this
Especially not here
Please
Chenle
Fine
Jaehyun
👀
Chenle
👀✔️
Cutie
I hate you guys
Jaehyun
I love you too
Ten
Where's my baby?
Jungwoo
I'm wondering the same thing
Baby #1
I'm here
Sorry, I was finishing up something
Jaehyun
You don't have to say sorry for that
Baby #1
Oh, right
Mark, Princess, tell us about your
date
One and Only♥️
Yeah, I think we'd all love to know
Cute boy
🙄
Mark brought me to his work
Sweetheart, you're next
Baby #2
Huh?
Cutie
I may or may not have mentioned
you guys to my coworker friends
Who are excited to meet you
Well one just wants to annoy me
but Cara did threaten me
Cute boy
Mark and his coworker is so funny
He annoys the shit out of Mark
Jaehyun
Bring me and Johnny next!
After Haechan
If that's fine with you two...
Johnny
No, yeah, Jae's right, we're next
Cutie
Sure, whatever
Johnny✧
Jaehyun
Hey...
Johnny✧
You're overthinking, aren't you?
Jaehyun
Maybe...
Johnny✧
Well I've been waiting for you to
talk to me but I forgot you're a
dumbass so it looks like I'll have
to start
You're still my best friend
Nothing has changed
Done
Jaehyun
Thanks for calling me a dumbass,
I appreciate it
Johnny✧
Someone has to
But seriously, it's alright if you think
it is
Jaehyun
Aren't you mad at me or something?
Didn't I hurt you?
Johnny✧
Why would I be mad?
You not returning my feelings isn't
something for me to get upset with
you over
And if you think about, Mark's did
the same thing in a different way
Jaehyun
Is that supposed to help?
Johnny✧
Yes
Just focus on my point here
I AM NOT MAD
I just want things to go back to
normal and I'd honestly like us
to pretend that thing didn't
happen
Jaehyun
I missed you
Johnny✧
I missed you too
Jaehyun
Okay before we forget, let me just
say that I'm sorry
I didn't mean to react you know...like
THAT
And I'm sorry for not talking to you, I
just didn't know what to say and I was
scared that we wouldn't be able to just
forget about this
But I really care about you, Johnny
Johnny✧
I care too, you lovable idiot
Jaehyun
I'm not sure I missed your insults
Johnny✧
Too bad, the insults come with me
and you're stuck with me
Jaehyun
Fine
Also, when's the last time you spoke
to Mark?
Johnny✧
He asked me when if I was still
waiting on you a couple days
ago, why?
Jaehyun
I spoke to him not too long ago and
I'm worried
He hides so much pain and still
convinces himself he should do
better
He wanted to ignore his own problems
just to make sure I was okay and he
didn't even want me to hold him at first
Johnny✧
Why on Earth does he feel like he
needs to do better?
Jaehyun
He said "it wasn't enough"
He's still blaming himself for the
breakup
Johnny✧
It probably wasn't intentional but I
still hate Annalise for hurting him
and making him think any of their
breakup was his fault
It doesn't help that she didn't even
give him much to go of off
"I'm sorry, I'm not ready for a
relationship with you"
He's been analyzing those words for
years
Jaehyun
I thought dating would make it
better, but I don't think it's actually
done much
Johnny✧
I know he's scared but sometimes
it seems like he isn't
Like you saw what he said, he
made the move
When they first breakup, he said he
wouldn't dare put himself out there
again
And he told them he loves them
It's like the pain just has such a hold
on him that he can't fully part from
it and let himself fully try enjoying
a relationship
Jaehyun
I wanna help him but I don't know
how to do anything about that
I just wanna take it away
Johnny✧
Me too
But since we can't, let's just try
making him realize that he's
already perfect
Jaehyun
I wish he could understand that
but he really doesn't see it
Johnny✧
He's always been like this
unfortunately
Jaehyun
We should probably talk to Lele
Johnny✧
Yeah
Double updateeeee
I got lazy and used left alignment for some of the texts, which is why it looks like that
I'm probably gonna change it later but until then, it's gonna be like that
Not proofread (hopefully it's not that bad...who am I kidding?)❤️
I LOVE YOU *MWAH*