Why was I being shown this?
I didn't understand. These visions... they were all becoming more overwhelming. Bring on the hyperventilating. My heart rate was accelerating as if a heartrender on parem was responsible for it. I could feel my breathing become more hitched, uncontrolled. My thoughts were forming at a rate faster than I could process. I just needed to talk to someone... someone who could understand.
The golden cord. It had been a very long time...
I was met by young yet concerned eyes.
Mother.
"Milaya?"
One word, but the question was much more.
"Mother? Mother... I"
Before I could say anything more, she curled up next to me. Her arm arched over me, pulling me in closer.
"I'm coming."
The connection broke immediately. I swear I heard a snap as it broke off, but perhaps my mind was playing tricks on me. Soon enough, I heard the door creak open, and in came Mother with two cups of hot chocolate. I smiled - I supposed some things don't change. She placed one of the cups in my still trembling hands and watched as I slurped the chocolatey goodness in nervous gulps. At one point, she even reached out to remove a strain of hair from my eyes.
Once I finished, she took the cup and gave me a small smile.
"Feeling better, my sweet?"
I nodded like a too-timid toddler.
She joined me on the bed, taking the same position and placing her arm over me - the same way she did through the connection. This time she stroked my hair and kissed the back of my head. I relaxed in her hold, letting her comfort me until I felt my breathing slow down.
"So, milaya, do you want to talk about what happened?"
"Nothing bad, I just... I... I keep having these visions that keep bombarding my thoughts. It's just too much sometimes, Mother."
She listened as I vented, continuing to stroke my hair.
"What did you see this time?" she asked.
I paused. What could I say? The truth, I guess.
"I saw how you and Father decided to have us - Alistair and me."
This caused her to tense up.
"I see. How far in the future is that?"
"I don't know Mother, all I saw was you and Father in bed..."
"In bed? My, my, things escalated quickly..." she giggled.
Now I was giggling.
"No, Mama, not like that."
Well, actually... but I wasn't going to mention that.
"I just... you were talking at the end of the day as couples do... and suddenly the conversation was about having children..."
"Who's idea was it?"
She was curious now.
"Yours."
"What did the Darkling say?"
"Mother, I'm not sure how much I should say. I don't want the future..."
"So, he obviously wasn't too happy with the idea."
How does she do that?
"But he obviously caved in the end," she grinned, giving my chin a squeeze.
"And in the end, he was quite happy about it."
"Was he now?"
"Yeah, I had a vision of me as a baby and Alistair coming to play with me, and then Father shooed him out..."
Now Mother was fully laughing.
"I can actually imagine that..."
"But he was cruel to him, Mama - it wasn't fair."
"I'm sure it wasn't that bad, milaya..."
"He told Alistair not to come near 'his daughter' as if I wasn't his sister, and then he told him..." I could feel my voice rising now, "...he had a job to attend to, and as a general, he had better things to do." I was fuming now.
"WHO TALKS LIKE THAT TO THEIR OWN SON?"
"Milaya, I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't know. I don't know the Darkling enough yet to understand the reasoning behind anything he does."
"And yet you trust him?"
"Well..."
My eyes widened.
"You don't..."
"I don't know, Leksi. I've been put in a position with so much power so quickly. I found out I have a child with one of most powerful Grisha to ever exist, and I am the other most powerful Grisha to ever exist."
I could see that she was under a lot of pressure. How could I have been so stupid? I've been so selfish lately...
"Mama, I didn't mean to..."
"I know, sweetie. I'm just a little stressed right now."
I wrapped my arm around her, bringing us even closer.
"Well, you're doing a great job."
"Thank you, baby girl. That means a lot to me."
I hummed contently.
She began stroking my hair again, and I nestled into her embrace. Soon enough, I was falling asleep.
However, I didn't quite manage it. I heard a creak at the door. Mother's head whipped up at the sound. I didn't bother. I had a feeling it was... I felt Mother relax beside me. I was right.
However, he wasn't exactly comforted to see her.
"Alina, what happened?" his voice, holding an undertone of worry. Panic, even.
"Nothing serious, just a bad dream."
"And she called you?" He almost sounded hurt.
"No, I felt it in our connection. So I thought I would see what was happening."
He came around to settle on my other side. He then stroked my hair and gave me a quick kiss. This made Mother chuckle softly. I would have expected him to ask about my dreams, but what he did surprised me. He gently placed his hand on Mother's - which was on top of me.
"So, how are you?" he asked her.
Mother seemed surprised by the gesture, but she answered nonetheless - with a sigh.
"Tired, stressed. I'm not sure how to feel anymore. This power, the life it gives me... it's so isolating. Eternity... this burden... the idea that I'd watch everyone die..."
"It gets easier, Alina."
"I know," she cheered up.
The change of tone surprised both Father and me. Mother seemed to pick up on the look on his face.
"Well, look at this beautiful girl in our arms right now. Watching her, holding her in my arms, made me realise something. I'm not alone. I won't be doing this on my own."
I could tell her words were striking a chord with Father. And as Mother always did, she picked up on this too. She removed her hand from under his grip and cupped his cheek. He closed his eyes at her touch, letting her comfort him.
"I'm sorry you had to suffer alone for so long. I will never understand that burden the way you do, but you're not alone anymore Darkling."
"Aleksander," he murmured.
"Sorry?"
"My name is Aleksander."
"Aleksander?" she smiled.
"What's so funny?" he asked, both surprised and amused.
"How ordinary," the Sun Queen concluded, "a name for both peasants and kings alike."
Father let out a warm, resonant laugh. Something I was beginning to get used to.
"Well, Aleks..."
"Aleks?" It was his turn to smile.
"Yeah, is that ok?"
He nodded.
"I like it."
"No one ever called you Aleks? That surprises me."
"Well, my Mother was never one for nicknames. And the few other people who know... they were never close enough to me to attempt such a thing."
"Well," Mother continued.
She leaned over me to reach him, planting a kiss on his cheek. This brought out a soft gasp from the Darkling. The contact had surprised him.
"You're not alone anymore, Aleksander."
Quickly regaining his composure, he leaned his forehead against Mother's.
"Neither are you, Alina."
My heart was full.
Hey guys,
Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Sorry, I didn't post last week - I've been having bad migraines over the past couple of weeks. Thank you @lovebeyondwords for the name inspiration of the last chapter. You're the best! 💕 But anyway, glad you're all here and let me know your thoughts and names suggestions for this chapter below. Love you guys! :)