My wolf is so angry at me that she's been ignoring me the whole day. It's been over a week since Matthew and I had our lunch together. I've been trying to stay away from him as much as I can. I haven't even gone to his history class on the off chance he'll ask me to stay and talk to him. I also haven't gone by his library despite having finished most of the books he's let me borrow.
I'm genuinely freaking out. I never thought I'd be one to have commitment issues, but I'm so attracted to him, and it scares me. I've finally found an amazing home here. I get along with my students, I've made friends with other wolves, and I'm officially on the mantle in Eli's bar for having broken the record of most beers in three minutes.
I just love it here a lot. I've never felt like Sparta was my home and for the first time in my life I feel like I belong somewhere. I'm not only comfortable here but I feel like one with the pack. What if I mess that up? What if I'm just being stupid and letting this crush get the better of me? I don't even know Matthew. I mean...I don't know if he means it.
Part of the reason my moving here has been so wonderful is because of Matthew and it's hard to admit it but I've missed him a lot these last few days. I'm just terrified. My wolf knows it and as much as she wants to encourage me, I know she's freaking out too. It's not just the fact that I live here, it's the whole idea of being disappointed again. Ignoring Bren's rejection was only partially easy because I left but if Matthew is just stringing me along—which he really could be despite me not wanting it to be the case—then I'm royally fucked. I've never felt like this. I wish I had Clara to call back on but it's best she doesn't know where I am.
I walk into my Leadership class before any of my students have arrived. In a few minutes, they're all filing into the classroom while I'm setting up our lecture slides for the day. As soon as they walk into the class I get a lot of greetings, "Hey Prof."
"What's up Tia Mia?"
"Hi Miss Holms, how are you?"
I sit on my desk as everyone comes in. Giving every student of mine a warm smile that they reciprocate. In the five minutes before class, they're all talking about a party they had gone to the weekend prior.
"I was absolutely hammered," one of my students rubs his head like the sheer memory makes him sick again.
"We all know Evan," One girl—Ashley—rolls her eyes. "We had to drag you home and you howled until you hurled."
The class all laughs together, while Evan just makes a face at Ashley. Evan is the little flirt in my class. He loves asking out-of-pocket questions and making fun jokes during my lectures. It's quite entertaining and although distracting at times, I have to be honest and say he's probably one of my favorite students. The thought of him howling until he pukes has me laughing.
My laugh catches his attention, and he leans back in his seat, "Oh come on Prof. No way you didn't have fun this weekend. Don't you ever just get litty titty?"
I cross my arms over my chest, "Yeah I would say I got pretty litty titty this weekend."
"No way," Evan shouts. Everyone in the class suddenly paying attention to our conversation as they all lean forward on their desks to hear what I have to say. "Prof Mia actually has fun?"
"Of course, she does," Ashley side eyes Evan. "She's our age, you dumbass."
Evan throws up his middle finger at Ashley, we all laugh softly, but his eyes are trained on me. "What'd you do, Prof?"
"She broke the record at Eli's," another girl—Bonnie—smirks from the back of my class. "I was at Full Moon for Happy Hour, and her name is on the board."
"No shit," Evan puts his hands behind his head. "When are you going to come party with us Prof?"
I open my mouth to say something, but I'm quickly cut off by another one of my students—Jeremy. Jeremy, who just so happened to be at the restaurant with Tyler and his friends the day Matthew and I were there. "Dude, she's been hanging out with Alpha, no way she's got time for us."
"What?!" My entire class erupts into huge commotion. A million questions being thrown at me that quickly make me feel self-conscious and unsure. I have to be their professor and maintain my composure, but it's hard to when I see shock, amusement, excitement, and other emotions all crossing my student's faces.
"Miss Holms," one of my students—Cassidy—squeaks with excitement. Her hands flying to her mouth like she just got giddy for her best friend. "We've all been dying for Alpha to meet someone."
I put my hand up to stop her, "Now hang on—"
"Tia Mia," another one calls out. "Just make sure he doesn't revert to the Dark Ages."
I raise my eyebrow, "The Dark Ages?"
"Why would you say that, Ryan?" Ashley hisses in his direction. Other girls rallying behind her and glaring at Ryan, who has an amused face. "You're such a dick."
"You guys need to calm down," I say more sternly this time. This is my classroom and I'm not about to have them all running around to stir the rumor mill. Once they're all quiet, I realize I can't help it and I point at Ryan, "What do you mean the Dark Ages?"
"Bro," Evan's eyes wide as he turns to his pal. "Why the fuck would you say that?"
"What?" Ryan shrugs, "It's valid."
"It's nothing Miss Holms," Ashley covers up for them. She clearly sees the confusion in my face. I give her quite a harsh stare, knowing very well that Ashley will fold. With a deep sigh, she looks down at her desk. "It's just a term we use around the pack, that's all."
"What's it supposed to mean?" I ask crossing my arms over my chest. Everyone falls dead silent, suddenly all very interested in their desks or fingers.
"When Luna left," Ryan quickly fills in realizing no one else wants to talk about it. "Alpha was in such a dark place that the pack suffered. We almost disbanded and left. If it weren't for Beta Sage, I don't think this place would even be here right now."
Even the students in my class whose home pack isn't the Valley seem to know this story. They all look really nervous to tell it. Cassidy chimes in quietly, "The pack calls it the Dark Ages because of how gloomy and terrible it was for everyone. Alpha has been great though over the last few years. More caring and thoughtful than ever before. Honestly...probably one of the best Alpha's in our history. Really."
"That's true," Evan adds. "If it weren't for him, I would have failed accounting."
I try not to let this information get to me too much. If anything, it just makes me feel an immense pressure suddenly fall onto my shoulders. It even scares me more than I was before. If Matthew was in such a dark place after his mate left him, I can only imagine that he never wants to go back there again, which means...there really is a chance that he's just stringing me along.
I shake off this feeling and turn towards my slides. It's time to change the subject and get to my lecture. "Alright, we're going to fall behind because you've all used up class time. Let's talk about psychological traits that are found in different leadership styles."
The entire lecture, even though I'm teaching like my usual self and all my students are vigorously writing notes or asking questions, my mind feels like it's elsewhere. Matthew has mentioned that he went down a dark path after his rejection, but I guess it feels different coming from other people than him. It seems that his mate didn't only break his heart, but almost destroyed the pack.
"Alright guys," I say as I'm writing something along the chalk board. "Last note for today and we'll call it quits."
Just as I'm finishing writing, an aura that I've grown all too familiar with enters the classroom. I can feel the pulse of power, my nostrils instantly filled with Amberwood and coffee. My wolf starts salivating, clearly having missed him. I push back the shudder I feel creeping up my spine.
I pretend he's not there, turning to face my class and hardly looking at him as he's leaning against the doorway. Arms crossed over his chest, green eyes staring at me intently. All my students bow their heads to him in respect before I clap my hands to redirect their attention to me.
"Don't forget that your final drafts for your in-depth analysis on The Art of War is due by the end of this week." I point at the board as they all try to scribble as fast as possible what I've written. "Any questions?"
Suddenly, all their hands shoot up in the air. They all look at me with grave eyes, or amused expressions. Evan goes as far as to wiggle his eyebrows at me—luckily for him, he knows not to open his big mouth in this situation.
I roll my eyes, "Questions regarding this lecture and or your essay?"
All their hands slowly retract back to their sides. Matthew's aura clearly making everyone angsty. I wave my hands at them all, "Dismissed."
I've never seen my class leave the room so quickly. Even Ashley, who usually stays behind to ask me a few one-on-one questions, zips up her materials and bolts for the door. As everyone exits, they all respectfully bow their heads at Matthew with a small, "Alpha." Before bustling away. He politely nods back at them, but I know very well that his gaze is locked on me.
As soon as we hear the last of my students close the door behind them, I turn my attention to Matthew. "You distracted my class," I tell him while pretending to be partially annoyed.
"It's a wonder they don't get distracted by you." He takes one step forward a handsome smirk playing on his face. His words instantly having an effect on me.
I gulp, looking down at my desk before slowly grabbing my things and filling them into my backpack. "Can I help you with something?"
Matthew walks towards me, his hands in his pockets, head tilted to the side in a slightly amused but puzzled expression. Once he's standing in front of my desk, he takes a seat on it while I finish zipping up my backpack.
"You've been avoiding me." His expression softens slightly, I notice the way he nervously plays with his wolf ring. "I just wanted to talk to you about last weekend."
I can't lie and say I haven't been replaying the events of last weekend in my head over and over. The way Matthew's hand felt in mine. How close he was to kissing my lips. His lips are all I've been thinking about before going to sleep every night. It's kept me up tossing and turning. My mind working on overdrive as I've felt both excited and panicked.
Here it comes, I mentally prepare my wolf and me. He's going to tell us that it was a mistake.
Mia, My wolf growls disapprovingly.
That we're weak and it was a mistake.
Mia stop, she replies. I bet if she could slap me across the face she would.
"What about last weekend?" I ask quietly.
"If I made you uncomfortable," Matthew's eyes scan my reaction carefully. "Then I sincerely apologize."
My mind blanks. "Uncomfortable?"
Matthew takes a deep breath, his body leaning in ever so slightly that it's hardly noticeable, but I notice it. What did he say I smell like? Rosewood and books.
"I told you," Matthew says lowly. "My wolf and I have grown fond of you. You haven't stopped by to read in my office, and you haven't been attending my lectures. So, tell me, why is that?"
"I..." There's hesitation that makes me stop. I want to tell him the truth, and so far, we've been so comfortable telling each other the truth. I don't really have a reason to not believe him whenever he talks to me. There aren't any evident red flags. So why am I hesitating?
As if sensing my distress, Matthew stands up, making his way around the table until he's standing in front of me. It both calms me down to have his scent engross my senses but also makes my heart flutter faster. Then my heart practically explodes when Matthew grabs my hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze.
"Tell me Mia." His eyes searching mine for answers. It's the first time I see him be so...soft-hearted. His expression is much gentler than normal like he's genuinely willing to understand how I feel. And the way he says my name, so delicately like he's saying it for the first time.
I feel the tension escape my body, all sorts of emotions crashing into me. "I can't tell if you mean it," I finally spill it out.
His eyebrows furrow together, "Mean what?"
"That you're fond of me." Everything that I've been trying to unpack in my head over the last few days hits me. A sudden rush of sadness that I'm sure Matthew can feel. Looking him in his dark green eyes, I give him a sad smile. "I'm so sad that I'm not your mate. And just as unfortunate, you're not mine. It's hard for me to understand how I'm feeling because I always thought that I could only feel this way about a mate. I didn't think it was possible to..."
I look down, away from Matthew's intense stare. He gives me a second before I feel his finger on the bottom of my chin, pulling my gaze back up to his. His thumb running just across my cheek where I know my emotions got the best of me.
He pushes a kind, handsome smile. "I didn't think it was possible to like someone as much either."
I search his eyes and face for any lies, but everything is so genuine. Matthew keeps his hand cupping my face, his other arm snaking around my waist to pull me closer to his body. I feel my cheeks flush slightly, my heart pounding in my chest.
"My wolf and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you." He tells me gently, "Every knock on my office door and we're eager and anticipating for you to walk in."
Matthew leans forward slowly, until I feel his breath against my neck. My eyes instantly shutting as chills run through me. My legs feel like jelly and I'm thankful for his arm holding me up. He takes in a small breath, "Walking through campus and I'm hoping to pick up your scent."
"And every night," his face just brushing up against mine. I open my eyes to see the gleam of excitement coming from his. His sight trained on my lips, "I can't help but fall asleep wondering what it would feel like to kiss those beautiful, plump lips."
His thumb trails on my lower lip. I gasp softly, Matthew taking it as a cue to lean down, pressing his lips against mine. I feel my body melt into his as his mouth starts to gently kiss my own. Our lips moving together so smoothly that I feel my butterflies trail from my toes to the rest of my body. At first, I stand there, letting him kiss me gently. But he tastes so good and kissing him feels like the personification of infinity. I just want to stand here and do it forever.
I can tell he's controlling himself, trying not to get too carried away. He's straining himself to be gentle, but I know how badly he wants to push it to the next level. When I sense he's about to pull away, every instinct in my body tells me to keep kissing Matthew. I push myself on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around his neck. My moves causing a low growl to ripple from his chest as he suddenly presses himself harder against me. His lips moving so slow, yet so deep, and so sensual. Butterflies turning into sparks that wreak havoc through my body.
Matthew lifts me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, his hands gripping my ass firmly in place. My angle instantly better now that I'm taller. He lets me kiss him. My fingers haphazardly running through his hair, my instincts telling me to kiss him deeply, to use my tongue when he let's me, and to pull away and tease him by sucking or biting lightly on his bottom lip.
My brain is in utter overdrive. I just want to kiss him, to touch him, to feel his skin against mine. To have his scent all over me. My wolf is purring and it's sending vibrations through me that I'm sure he can feel.
We both pull away simultaneously, I press my forehead onto Matthew's, our breaths panting slightly between us. My lips feel numb and it's the most carnal sensation I've ever felt. Matthew blinks away the black in his eyes, trying to get the humming in his chest under control by taking deep breaths.
"Fuck Mia." He sets me down on my feet, keeping me in a close embrace while planting small kisses along my jaw line that make swoon. I can tell he's trying to get his composure back. Keeping himself in control.
"I'm sorry," I blush slightly. "I got carried away."
"Don't ever apologize," Matthew smirks. His eyes mischievous and glistening. He pulls away slightly, eyes scanning my face before he licks his lips tentatively. "Be ready later tonight at eight-thirty. I have something special planned."
My eyes widen slightly, concern clearly written on my face. "Just because we kissed doesn't mean—"
This makes Matthew laugh softly, the kindness he hides so well emitting in a gentle smile. He quickly cuts me off, "No. Nothing like that. I want to take you on a date."
I can't help the smile spread on my lips. "A date?"
"Yes." Matthew leans forward again, placing a gentle kiss on my lips that make them feel buzzed. "I have to go attend to some matters. But I'll see you tonight."
"Okay." My voice is breathless. Matthew retreats from my classroom, his head turning over his shoulder a few times to look at me, smirk, and continue walking out the room. Once he's out of sight, I sit against my desk. Unable to control my smile. Touching my lips where they're still electrified by him.
***
A/N: Things are heating up (insert fire emoji). It's my first time writing like sexy things so feel free to give any constructive criticism :)))) I'm here to learn and make an amazing story. I hope you're loving itttttt because I lowkey love my characters.
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