summary: you're john bs older sister, and have always been apart of the friend group until they all started being assholes to you, you were falling apart inside and they didn't even notice.
trigger warnings: tried suicide, ED
i was currently sitting in my bedroom, wiping away my tears.
i was always so close with john b, pope, kiara, jj and sarah but for some reason they all started ghosting me, they turned so rude and i dont know what i did to deserve this.
john b walked in my room. "why the fuck are you crying?" he asks. i quickly wipe my tears. "get out." i say.
"jesus why you being so.. weird ?" he says. "john b im actually ganna freak out please leave." i say.
he doesn't leave so i get out of my bed and walk out of my room.
when i walk in to the living room of course, jj, pope, kie, and sarah are there. when they see me they go dead silent, they were definitely talking about me.
they all look at each other and look disgusted.
i walk to the kitchen and saw my dad. "im going out." i say. "no youre not. darling you didn't eat anything all day its almost 8pm." he says. "dad ill get something when im out." i say.
he sighs as he nods. "you better." he says.
i walk out of the door and get on to my bike, riding to my spot.
it was a spot with a ledge (clift) that was so peaceful, i went there when i couldn't handle life.
when i got there i went and sat on the ledge.
if i just jumped all my problems would be over, i wouldn't have to deal with anything.
i contemplated jumping until i heard a motorcycle pull up behind me.
"rutledge?" i hear someone says.
i turn around to look at him.
rafe.
"rafe?" i say. "yeah.." he says.
"what are you doing here?" i ask.
"im my spot i come here all the time, wait what were you doing?"
"i-nothing." i say.
"y/n..." he says. "rafe.." i say.
he gets off his bike, takes off his helmet and sits beside me.
"tell me whats going on." he says. "its personal" i say.
"i wont tell." he says.
"i-.." maybe i should rant..
"swear to me you wont tell." i say. "i swear y/n. cross my heart hope to die." he says.
"okay..." i take a breath.
"so uh.. i-i just can't handle this anymore. my friends dropped me, my own brother is such a bitch to me, everyone keeps body shaming me, i haven't ate in almost a damn week, i haven't slept more then 4 hours these past two week, im failing all my classes, and to top it off my friends hate me so i cant talk to anyone, a-and i dont even know what i did. they said i was not matching the energy and i was too depressed all the time and i ruined the mood or i wasn't fun anymore- i dont even know. but the people i loved most aren't with me at my lowest so they didn't deserve me back then. i-i just want things to be done with, all my problems gone.." i say as a tears falls down my cheek.
"a-and.. yesterday me and jj were fighting so bad over fucking nothing and he- he was drunk and he said he wanted me dead, and i- i dont know maybe he is right, i have no purpose in this stupid life" i shrug.
"y/n.." he says. "what rafe? you ganna tell me i suck to because go ahead." i say.
"no- fuck. i was ganna say you're so beautiful and you're worth so much dont let them get to you. you can always talk to me." he says.
i give him a little smile. "thank you.." i say.
"come on, up." he says as he stands. "you can come on my motorcycle, im taking you out to eat." he says. "what? rafe you hated me yesterday i dont want your pity." i say.
"its not my pity y/n." he says. "i've always thought you were cool and now i just wanna buy you some food is that so bad?" he says.
"i cant leave my bike here." i say.
"this is our spot. no one else comes here its okay." he says.
i contemplated everything before finally agreeing.
we put on our helmets and we go to some little restaurant.
he was making me laugh the whole time we were eating, i swear its the first real smile i had in almost a week.
after we were done eating he drove me home.
i almost didn't wanna say bye. i never ever thought i would enjoy time with rafe cameron.
when we got outside of my house i got off the bike.
"i dont wanna leave you alone." he says.
"you could come in? if you maybe wanted?" i ask as my cheeks, get red.
he smiles at me. "would your dad care?" he asks. i shake my head no. "he's happy if im happy and he is at work." i smile.
"ah so i made you happy?" he teases. "shut up." i say with a laugh.
he get off his bike and turns it off, we take off our helmets and put them on the bike.
he lays a hand on my lower back as we walk inside, which gives me butterflies, making it feel like my stomach erupted.
we walk right in the living room where all the pogues were.
fuck.
"rafe? what the fuck." sarah says. rafe rolls his eyes. "i knew you pogues were assholes but i truly didn't think you were that bad." he doesn't say another word as we rush in to my room.
"real mature!" john b yells. "my dads at work, thank god he would've kicked both mine and john bs asses for being this loud at night." he says.
"can i please go punch them." is the first thing he says.
"what? no!" i say. "come on y/n they suck." he says. "no rafe." i say.
"what if i only hurt john b... and maybe jj.." he says. "rafe. stop it." i say.
he rolls his tongue in his mouth, trying to resist killing someone.
we both sit on the bed.
it was kind of embarrassing, he lived in a mansion and my room was very small.
"sorry, about the mess." i say as i look around at the clothes on the floor. "all good, i didn't even notice." he says.
we see the bedroom door fly open and sarah walks in.
"rafe go home!" sarah says as she shuts the door behind him.
"sarah im disappointed in you you're a fucking brat!" he yells.
"guys- just stop please." i say.
"he's not aloud here, john b doesn't want you at his house." sarah says.
"are you fucking kidding me?!" i yell as i stand up. "this is my house too! and actually im older so john b and all you can go leave for all i care!" i practically scream, making sure john b can hear what i say.
"and you know what sarah i- i am resisting the urge to actually slap some scene in to you." he says. "excuse me?!" she says.
"y/n is falling apart here and you- her so called friends couldn't give a shit to even check on her- let alone treat her badly for what?!" he yells.
"rafe stop it please." i say.
"and since when did you care?!" she yells. "maybe i noticed she wasn't okay unlike you who couldn't give a shit about anyone except yourself's!" he says.
"oh god y/n if you weren't "okay" you could've talked to us!" sarah says.
"no-no sarah dont say that because i tried to i tried to hard but you guys would say im "killing the mood" or something so i gave up on you guys!" i say.
"im leaving both your asses can finally find someone just as boring to hang around with." sarah says. "yeah fucking leave." sarah says as he pushes her our and slams my bedroom door in her face.
"im sorry rafe you don't deserve to be pulled in to this." i say.
"no y/n just always know that i care and you can always talk to me." he says. i nod as he pulls me in to a hug.
a/n:
finishing off drafts