Featured Lyrics:
Sometimes I start believing in things that aren't real
And my friend likes to deceive me in the way that I feel but
Sometimes I start concealing
The way that I work in my head
Oh you seemed so happy to everybody you knew
These things don't happen to anybody like you
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
Weeks went by as the first half of the school year rolled on. Midterms and group projects piled up, but your determination for acceptance into your first choice of university propelled you forward. Eren's determination straggled along behind him. The school's Senior Winter Ball was coming up and much of the energy for students revolved around that. You usually spent those nights dancing with Mikasa or Sasha but this year was different.
You recalled the conversation with Mikasa where she shyly told you her new plans. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I know we usually go together but Jean asked me in the most amazing way and I feel really bad-"
"Don't worry about it," you said, over the phone. "You'll look amazing together."
You pulled the phone away from your ear at the sound of Mikasa's celebration.
You even turned to Sasha who rubbed the back of her head, feeling awkward. "Yeah, I'm going with Connie this year. Sorry, Y/N."
"Are you two dating now?" you asked her, curious as to how this came about. "I thought that you two were strictly friends?"
Sasha snorted and you could see a small blush spreading across her cheeks. "Yeah, well he said that we were too good together to not date so...he just asked me and I said yes!"
You nodded, unsure of what to do at this point. Perhaps Eren didn't have any plans to go, these events usually didn't interest him.
Sascha placed a hand on your shoulder, "What about Eren?" she asked, practically speaking your mind. "You two are inseparable. I'm surprised nothing has happened between you two yet."
You pursed your lips into a tight smile and shook your head. It was a thought that was inconceivable. "No, Eren usually stays home for these things. Not even the idea of going with me will get him to come."
You noticed Sascha's suspicious look as she shrugs and walks with you the rest of the way to class.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
Thanks to successful treatment and the improvement of Carla's health, she had been permitted to come home at the end of November. After she had settled back in, the Ladies Book Club held a small Christmas party at the Jaeger home to celebrate.
You had visited early with your mom to set up. Since she was still regaining her strength, you didn't hesitate to do some more heavy lifting. As Carla placed a pile of dessert plates you walked up to her and said, "I just wanted to thank you again for the lovely dinner at Restaurant Sina." Because life was getting busier, you weren't able to see her until now.
Carla looked at you and warmed you with her smile, "Oh dear, you don't have to thank me. It was my absolute pleasure. Did Eren tell you-"
Almost as if it was on cue, Eren had stepped through the front door, snowflakes still sprinkled in his hair. He had a red blush on his face, maybe from the cold or maybe from whatever placed the cheesy smile he showed. "Hi ma!" he yelled, shaking the porcelain plates. After taking his jacket off, he waltzed into the kitchen and gave her a big hug. He then turned to you with the same vigour and lifted you in the air with glee. "Y/N," he set you down and hastily brushed the long hairs away from his face.
"You seem happy," you teased, looking at him with a cocked eyebrow.
He leaned in and whispered, "I have something I really want to tell you later." He then paused as his excitement took over again before continuing, "In the basement later tonight."
The tone of Eren's voice made you shiver even though you were wearing a warm Christmas outfit. You glanced at Carla and she looked just as excited.
The party was mostly uneventful as several ladies around your mom's age filtered into the house. Many of these women had seen you grow up throughout the years and each of them pinched you as a greeting. You found yourself repeating the same spiel, "Oh yes! I'm planning on moving across the country for university!" or "Oh no I don't have a boyfriend yet!" or "Oh yes, thank you, I have gotten bigger..."
When the dinner concluded, the Ladies Book Club gathered themselves in the living room around the fire to catch up and discuss the next book. Eren walked over to you, still jittering with joy like a boy on his birthday. "Come on, let's go to the basement." You nodded and followed him as he flicked the stair lights on. Eren crashed on the couch and eagerly waited for you to sit next to him.
"Okay, okay," you laughed as you watched his nervous hands fiddle in his lap. "What's gotten into you today?"
Eren turned to face you and you felt yourself experiencing deja vu. The moonlight was bright behind him and he leaned in close as if he was shy to speak. It had been twice when you thought you were going to give Eren your first kiss. One of them just so happened to be on this same couch.
"So you know the Senior Winter Ball is coming up," Eren began. He smiled and looked right into your eyes. "I never really go because I haven't had much interest in asking anybody to go with me."
You were nodding along, not sure where he was going with this.
"Well this year, I don't have to worry about trying to pick who to ask," he paused again, waiting for a reaction from you. When you didn't show one, he continued, his voice a little clearer now. "Hitch asked me to go with her."
Hitch was a girl you knew to be beautiful, passionate, and popular. Many people liked her for her outgoing personality and ability to bring attention to herself. You knew that she had her eyes on Eren, especially in your senior year. It had come to a point where you agreed with some of the other girls when they said that Eren's appearance had changed. He went from a big-eyed boy to a brooding young man just over the summer. Maybe it was just because his hair was getting longer.
You were confused by the feeling in your stomach that churned at his words. You felt your heart beat a little faster, but your face was stiff. You and Eren never went to any of the dances together, usually, you both went stag. But the idea of Eren spending the evening with someone else struck you in a way that wasn't with jealousy or hurt. It was an unfamiliar longing for a missed opportunity, whether you realized it or not.
"Y/N? Are you okay?" Eren asked, putting a hand on your knee. You wished he hadn't because it felt as if the tinge in your chest spread there.
You choked back your expressionless face and turned the corners of your mouth upwards. "Yeah, of course, I'm happy for you! You seem happy." You took in a shaky breath that you hoped wasn't too loud and take his hand. He looked down at it as you removed it from your body and onto the space between you on the couch. "You said yes, of course?"
"I didn't. At least not yet," he said, looking at his hand. "I told her that I would get back to her."
Your stoic eyes widened in shock and you hit him in the shoulder, "Why not? She's one of the most popular girls in school. Going out with someone like her doesn't happen to anyone, including you."
"Yeah I felt really good about myself when she asked me," he sighed, flopping back on the couch and not hiding his grin. His eyes peeked over to you where you were still sitting up, your body stiff. "I just wanted to wait to talk to you. To make sure you were okay with it," he looked away from you and continued, "Or if you think I should go with someone else."
You felt bad looking at him, his happy demeanour faded away and you shook whatever feelings you had. Eren was always giving you a choice. You didn't always make a decision, but this was one you didn't want to make for him.
"Of course, if you want to, you should go with her. We never went together anyways" You felt your body heat up at the sound of your words but you decided to throw a blanket on top of yourself, perhaps for protection.
"Okay, as long as you're okay about it." Eren flashed you a big smile and his young excitement bubbled up again. He fished a sticky note out of his pocket and you peeked over. You see it had a phone number scrawled on it along with its owner's name, Hitch.
"I'm happy for you," you answered with a trembling smile.
Eren beamed at you and you felt your heart drop even further. "I'm gonna grab the phone upstairs and call her right now," he said as he stood up. You watched him as he looked at the number whilst running up the stairs.
You were thankful that he didn't turn the whole basement lights on because he would have seen the single tear that slipped out of the corner of your eye. You covered your face with the blanket and quickly wiped them away, trying to regain what little composure you had left. 'Why do I feel like this? It's annoying.'
You heard Eren's footsteps walking down the stairs and you tried to wipe your face as dry as possible, still under the covers. As he held the home phone in his hands, he walked over to you, placed a different sticky note on top of the blanket and turned into his bedroom. Before he closed the door, he said, "That's my friend Armin's number. Maybe you could ask him and then this time we'll both have dates to the dance. He'll make you happy."
The small yellow square felt like it was burning through the blanket on your chest. Eren had already retired to his room. Even with the door closed, you could hear the beeping as he typed Hitch's number.
"Hey! Hitch, umm, it's me Eren!" you heard faintly on the other side."Oh! Uhh, yes haha hi! I just wanted to say that I'd love to go to the Winter Ball with you. That is if the offer still stands." A part of you wished that you didn't hear it, but another part of you made you stay. "Haha! I'm so happy! Yes, that's great, yeah, I can't wait." Even though you felt like you left the choice up to Eren, you couldn't help but feel that it was you who decided instead.
You picked up the sticky note and tossed the blanket on the couch. Quietly, you walked up the basement steps. On your way to the front door, you told your mom that you'd just walk home.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
The next morning before school you found yourself staring at the small sticky note that had Eren's chicken scratch. The letters and numbers were almost unreadable if it weren't for you being used to his horrible penmanship. You let out a heavy sigh from a breath you didn't know you were holding. Asking someone to the dance wasn't something that you had ever done.
You recalled the way Eren had a cheesy smile on your face and you began to wonder what it would feel like to be that happy about someone. Just as you shoved it back in your pocket, the phone that hung in the kitchen rang an unfamiliar number.
"Good morning, Y/N speaking," you answered in confusion.
"Oh, uh hello!" the voice on the other side stuttered. His voice was light and just a little shaky. "I-It's Armin! How are you?"
Your eyes widened at the sound of his name. "Oh, hi Armin." You felt a little awkward as you began to twirl the cord around your finger. "How did you get my home number?"
"Eren gave it to me! I hope that's okay."
'Oh,' you thought to yourself, unsure how to react. 'I guess he really wanted us to meet.'
"H-hello, Y/N?"
You snapped out of your thoughts as you went to respond, "I'm glad you called actually. I wanted to ask you something." Taking Eren's suggestion, you thought it would be best to take a shot. Maybe this was a chance for you to actually take some initiative in your life.
You heard Armin hastily cut you off, "Actually, I also wanted to ask you something but I wanted to do it in person. We don't usually see each other so I wanted to ask you to meet me after school." You could tell that his voice gave away how nervous he was.
You were thankful that Armin seemed to be making the first move because you were certain that your voice would be just as telling.
"Um, yeah of course! Meet me by the parking lot," you managed to croak out.
"Yeah! Great I'll-"
"Okay, I've got to get to school! I'll see you there!" you said, scrambling to hang up the phone before he could continue. The sudden silence caused the sound of your beating heart out of your chest and into your ears.
Throughout the school day, you made subconscious efforts to avoid Armin, not wanting to spend the rest of the day sweating from nervousness. You heard murmuring from some of Eren's football teammates about his upcoming date. Many of them seemed way more excited than he was.
As the clock ticked closer to the end of the day, you met up with Mikasa to give her an update.
"Y/N!" she called out, inviting you to sit on a bench just outside of the main entrance. "Did you hear? Eren and Hitch are going to the Senior Winter Ball together!" She kept her voice quiet, almost as if she was keeping a secret.
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes from the news that you were hearing all day. "Of course I heard. He told me first and I told him to say yes to her proposal."
You didn't even need to look at Mikasa to see her jaw drop and her eyes widen. From your peripheral vision, you saw her trying to get you to look at her.
"Are you fucking serious?" she deadpanned as she placed her hands on your shoulders, forcing you to finally make contact with her eyes. "Eren asks you for permission to go on a date first and you just let him go? I'm surprised and not surprised at the both of you. Why would you do that? Do you not realize what he's actually asking you." She watched you closely, as the real answers to her questions didn't come to your mind.
You shrugged, not understanding your actions yourself. "I dunno, he told me yesterday night at our moms' Ladies Book Club party...and he just looked so excited and happy. How could I tell him to say no."
Mikasa cocked her head to the side and her face changed from shock to almost sad. "That's too bad," she sighed. "I thought Eren was going to-"
Before she could continue her sentence, you saw Armin walk up to you with an arm full of textbooks. "H-hi, Y/N. Thanks for waiting for me."
"Oh um, hi Armin," you greeted, avoiding Mikasa's deepening glare. Without fully turning to her, you said, "Mikasa, I'll catch up with you tomorrow okay? Have a good weekend." Armin stood there, thankful that you were the one to pull both of you away. The two of you walked towards the end of the parking lot, near a large pile of snow. You felt Mikasa shooting lasers in the back of your head with her eyes.
Armin smiled at you and for the first time, you noticed his bright blue eyes glistening in the setting sun. You had known about Armin for the same amount of time as you've known Eren and Mikasa. He was a bit of a quieter, more studious student, much like you. You had seen him stay behind for tutoring on the opposite nights that you worked. His hair seemed a little shorter than when you remember seeing him last. It was almost as if he was trying out a new haircut for the first time. His shoulders were a little broader and his posture stood a little taller than you recalled.
Now that he had you alone, you noticed Armin's demeanour grew more comfortable. He gave you a small smile before taking one of your gloved hands. "Y/N, I know we don't talk much but Eren has told me so much about you. He says that you're pretty, smart, funny, and you love to read. I even noticed you in the library tutoring when I came in to make up a missed lesson. He says that we could be a good pair."
You felt your cheeks heat up at the sound of his compliments. Whether it was because Armin was saying them or because the words came from Eren, you weren't so sure. You didn't immediately respond to the words he was saying so you just continued to look into his blue eyes. He had a sweet look that almost made you sick, in a good way.
Armin continued, "I was wondering if you'd like to go to the Senior Winter Ball with me?"
You bit your lip and felt your heart beating so loudly in your chest, you thought you misheard him. Did you really want to go to the Ball with Armin? Did you really have a choice?
"Um, yes, I would love to."
You saw Armin's eyes light up and he gave the hand you forgot he was holding a light squeeze. "Oh great!"
The air around you grew slightly cold from the empty space the dead conversation left. "I'll call you this weekend, Armin," you said, turning away. You were sweating so much that wanted to get out of your jacket.
"Wait!" he interjected, not letting go of your hand. "Let's go on a date? This weekend? We can try and get to know one another a bit better."
You gave him a soft smile, warming up to the idea of him. If he wanted to put in the effort of getting to know you before the ball, it wouldn't hurt going on a date. "Okay, yeah. Let's do it. I'll call you tonight maybe?"
Armin nodded, his smile getting bigger and bigger. "Sounds good, Y/N. I'll talk to you tonight."
You fully turned from Armin who finally let go of your hand. You found yourself debating when was it too soon to call someone on the phone.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
Author's Note:
Hello to chapter 5! Thank you again for reading a following my story. It's been a lot of fun writing it and I have so much planned for chapters ahead. I've finally been approved for an account on AO3 so I will be posting this story on there if there are readers who prefer one over the other. So if you see this story on AO3 under my name (storybyzel) don't worry!
I hope you're all having a lovely weekend and I will see you in the next part. <3
-zel