A/N: early update because you guys deserve it for being so patient with me and the slow updates 🥹🫶🏻
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San frowned. "Why wouldn't I?"
Wooyoung gulped, trying to stall as much as he could. "It's just..."
"Listen, Wooyoung....it's okay, just tell me the truth...I won't be upset."
"The truth is..."
He couldn't say it, he couldn't get it out of his mouth.
The scenario where San kicked him out of his house last time kept playing in his head.
"You have your memory back, don't you?"
"Not exactly, I..."
San sighed. "I saw it coming..."
"What..?"
"I saw this coming...but I wasn't prepared for it."
"Saw what coming?" Wooyoung asked, now more worried than ever.
"I'm selfish, I wanted to keep you just for myself...I didn't want you to see a therapist...but now-"
"Excuse me?" Wooyoung frowned. "You purposely didn't let me see a therapist because you didn't want me to gain my memory back?"
San looked down. "Yes...I didn't want you to leave me too..."
"Why would I leave you?"
"Because of course you had a life before becoming amnesiac!"
"You don't realize..."
"Wooyoung...please...I know I was wrong...but you can't blame me..."
"Yes I can blame you! You could have saved us so much time and so much pain!"
San frowned. "What are you talking about?"
Wooyoung broke into tears, burying his face into his hands.
"Wooyoung..." San slowly placed his hand on the other's shoulder but it was quickly pushed away.
San sighed, chewing the inside of his cheeks and looking around the room for a long moment before speaking. "Listen, I get it, I know what's going on...I'm not gonna stop you from going. You had a lover and it's your right to want to go back to them, I'm not gonna stop you! I like you...a lot lot...but I'm not selfish-"
"No, you are! You purposely stopped me from seeing a therapist so I can stay helpless! What's your excuse? That you liked me? I could have had a family searching for me!"
"I'm sorry..." Was all that San said after getting yelled at.
Wooyoung had a point, even though it doesn't mean anything to him now, he still had a valid point. San was selfish for keeping the amnesiac boy to himself just because he was afraid of being alone again.
"There's no point in apologizing."
"I'll make it up to you...we can go tomorrow if you want!"
Wooyoung scoffed through his tears. "No, thank you...it doesn't mean anything to me anymore."
"How's that...?"
Wooyoung shook his head. "I can't tell you yet..."
"Why not? I could help you..I..I promise I will this time."
"You can't help me."
San sighed in defeat. "I'm going outside..."
Wooyoung started to panic as soon as he felt the other leaving. It was somehow triggering to him, he didn't want to make him upset.
But he couldn't say a word.
Not until he heard the door close.
"San..." he whispered out. "Come back...it's me..." his voice cracked as more tears ran down his cheeks.
He couldn't tell him the truth.
It was unbelievable.
But it weighed him down so much, it weakened him so much.
He couldn't do anything but cry himself to sleep.
-
San came back a couple of hours later. He took a walk alone to clear up his mind.
He couldn't understand Wooyoung. Even though he knew he was being selfish too, Wooyoung didn't have to react so badly.
He slowly entered the apartment and went straight to the bedroom.
Wooyoung was sleeping.
It didn't look peaceful, it was obvious that he was crying his heart out.
It made San feel more guilty.
Wooyoung must have felt so helpless and trapped. He already felt like a burden before.
San slowly sat down on the bed and gently ran his fingers through the other's hair. "Wooyoungie..."
The sleeping boy stirred, rubbing his face into the pillow.
"I'm sorry...please wake up and talk to me..." he whispered, unable to wait for him to wake up on his own.
"San..."
"I'm right here..."
"You came back." Wooyoung slowly sat up, eyes and nose red and swollen.
"Of course I did...I just needed to clear my head...are you okay?"
"Yes...I'm fine..." Wooyoung sniffled. "I'm sorry for yelling at you..." he reached his hand to find the other's.
He needed his comfort despite everything.
Especially now that he knew it was him.
San quickly held Wooyoung's hand with both his.
"Please don't apologize...I was wrong."
Wooyoung shook his head. "I need you to listen to me...San...I...I don't care if you don't believe me anymore, I need to tell you-"
"Hey hey calm down...breathe." San squeezed the other's shaky one. "I'll listen and I'll believe whatever you say...just calm down."
Wooyoung shook his head. "Promise me...promise you'll at least listen and try to understand...promise me you won't get mad."
San frowned, starting to get more concerned. "Just tell me, what's up? You're worrying me now."
Wooyoung gulped. "I'm having flashbacks..."
"I know, I figured-"
"You! It's you in my flashbacks! It's you whenever you hold me it's you whenever we touch it's you!" Wooyoung snapped.
San stayed quiet.
He was stunned, shocked, too shocked to speak.
What was he talking about?
"Why aren't you saying anything...please say something!"
San couldn't form a sentence. His eyes wide and mouth slightly open.
"Please tell me you believe me...I-I don't care if you believe me or not actually...I just needed to tell you..."
"What are you saying..."
"You were right all along...I am your boyfriend...I can't prove it to you...and-and it doesn't feel real to me either because I still can't remember a lot...it's only you...I just know that it's you."
"Do you even hear what you're saying?"
Tears started building up again in Wooyoung's eyes. San thinks he's lying again.
And he couldn't blame him.
"I'm not lying I swear..."
"You already said this before..."
San's calmness made the other sob. "This time I mean it!"
San slowly shook his head. "I'm sorry...I don't believe you."
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A/N: that's your lesson not to lie kids.
But seriously San you have to believe him!!