SIMPHIWE SHANDU THE HUSBAND
CHAPTER 36
SIMPHIWE
It was a plan between me and Jele for Nozi to spend time with the kids at my place. He was not in good shape to be seen by her in that matter and the best option for him was to ship her to me. I don’t know what lies he told her, but she felt for it.
“I don’t want to be in the bad books with Nozi. I am still trying to fight for my trust against that woman. Do you know how much I hate lying to her face?” I am standing beside the window staring at his neatly made garden. I turn to face him. This is not the Jele I know. The Jele I know is cock, doesn’t back down and thrives for what he wants. This Jele has given up. What he told me yesterday about his health shocked me. I was there when the explosion happened. I was there when people died, and some were in coma for months. Some were left with scars; I always thank the Lord that he saved me even though I am not a believer.
“She will never find out. I can feel that I have limited time in this world. Yesterday, I didn’t tell you all of it. I have a request that I will need you to fulfil.” I look at him more like trying to read what sick game he is about to play. I will not be bullied by him. We have been in each other's throats for decades and he won the race.
“If you want to break Nozi’s heart then trust me you will have me to deal with.” I spit venom. That woman has been through a lot because of me. I wouldn’t want her to shed any tears because of pain.
“I love Nozi way too much to make her feel pain. It's something that involves you and your honesty.” He says and coughs. He looks at his hand and closes his eyes sharply then slowly turns his hand towards me.
“Haibo! Should I take you to the hospital?” I ask in panic. The blood dropping in the corner of his mouth. I don't want him dying on me and later say I was the one who killed him. I am out on parole, if that’s what you call it.
“I am on my last stage mfethu, and I am afraid to tell Nozi. My lungs are failing to function and there is hurt each day that passes with me living. I am failing to hold on and the end is near. I can feel it. I want you to look after Nozi.” He blurts out causing me to choke on my own saliva.
“How?” I mean...
“I want her to be yours and this time for good. Fight for her. I want you to win her heart and trust again. If you want me to die a happy man. Please do this one thing for me.” I have never seen Jele this broken.
“You are not dying. She is carrying your child man. Have you seen any specialist in this? I'm sure there is a cure.” We may be crazy enemies with Jele, but I have never wished him any death or sort. He looks at me like I have said something out of turn.
“You are a doctor you do know very well that there is no cure for this.”
“Jele...” I want dispute. He can't die and leave Nozi with such responsibility. I have broken her enough. Thios will break her even more. Imagine you getting to learn that the one you love is no more and you are left with a reminder.
“I am not taking no for an answer Simphiwe. Now this is a chance to do right by her. This is a chance to make her happy and correct all your mistakes. Do you still love her?” How do I answer her boyfriend? This is not so on for me.
“More than you think.” I eventually reply.
“Good, now do not fail on a simple task of loving one woman and being a man to his family. I don’t want my child being raised by another man. I want you to raise my child.” He coughs.
“I don’t know what to say.” I am beyond shocked. Who plans their own death before dying. I feel my tears gushing down. Why am I crying? I have no answers at all. I may be hurt, hurt by Jele’s actions. I believe he will survive this. He survived all these years. What will make God take his life now right after he has made my Nozi happy.
“Promise me Simphiwe. She is going to need you now more than ever.”
“I promise.”
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You know when they say one has hitten the hard rock and has no way forward. That is me. Jele pushed me into a corner, and I didn’t know which direction to take and still don't. I am so torn between doing the right thing and just walking away to start my life somewhere afresh, now that will be completely selfish of me. I would practically be denying Nozi of such. I failed and I think this is the right time to do right by her. I take a dep breath and start the car.
"I know this is not going to be an easy decision to make. Just want you to know I support you and I’m glad you’re making this decision to stay with the one I love.’ his words just keep ringing in me. Jele is making my life hell while he is still alive, I’m sure he will be that ancestor that doesn’t want to let go. That type of ancestors that makes one's life miserable to a point of wanting to commit suicide.
Guess I am charged in taking care of final arrangements for him even though I was never asked but told. I feel and believe that they’ve provided a wish list that conflicts with who we’ve known them to be. Consider that fulfilling one’s wishes is a symbolic way to pay your respects and that we often learn things about people after they’ve passed. Jele is not a bad man after all. He truly loves Nozi, and I am so jealous. Going home I find her sleeping on the couch. She looks so God damn beautiful. It doesn’t make sense why I was the jerk I was, honestly, I do not know.
“Babe, wake up.” She slowly opens her eyes and yawns.
“What time is it?” She yawns again stretching herself.
“Right after one pm.” I say and sit beside.
“I should go home. I am sure Jele is worried sick about me.” I feel that and it hurts but I will be a big boy and swallow lumps.
“Thank you for looking after the kids for me. I will let you know if we need anything.” I say standing up to follow her outside. I stand behind her. I just have the urge to hold her from behind, kiss her neck and bang her right here and then. I clear my throat.
“Drive safe.” I say in my pained voice. She smiles and gets into the car and drives off. I sigh heading back to the house to think about my life. Her smell is hovering the entire house. I place my arse on the couch she was sitting on. My shoulders feel heavy. I need a hard massage. My phone rings and it's Jele.
“She just left.” I say.
“Thank you for taking this into consideration.” He drops the phone and leaves me confused. Jele is... a text comes through. It’s Bagqibile. I swear this girl can make my life look like a circus. I read the text and smile a bit.
“Thank you for updating me.” It’s a picture of Sizile leaning against the wall with a huge smile on her face. At least there is something to celebrate about.
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I want to call Nozi so bad, just talk to her and ask her how she drove? Is she okay wherever she is? I toss my phone aside and try to catch up on some series, but I am just failing dismally. My mind is not here. I decided to watch our wedding video. It was a good sunny day. A day that was filled with emotions, happiness and sadness. We made vows on this day and unfortunately, I was the one to break them. I decided to switch it off. It just brings sadness to me. I look at this huge empty house, it used to be warm and filled with love while Nozi was still around. But now, it's just cold and... My phone chimes. It’s Nozi.
“I've have been trying to call Jele, but he is not picking up.” She is crying and screaming her lungs out. I stand up and I can feel my heart having a faint heartbeat.
“Nozi, what’s worn?” I ask. I am in a panic. I can't imagine bad things happening to her.
“I got into an accident...”
“What! Send me your location, now!” I drop my phone and wait anxiously for her to send the location.
“What the hell were you doing on this road?” I ask myself. I have no time to be asking myself stupid questions. I scoop both kids up and run to the car. I don’t even put the babies in their car seat. That is how disturbed I am. I am afraid for her.
I have been driving for some time, my palms are sweaty to a point that I can't control the staring wheel. I have been trying Jele on his phone it’s now taking me straight to voice mail. Where could he be. This morning he was in his house. I see lights from distance, paramedics and police. My fear runs to the baby she is caring. Is the baby alright? What happened? I park meters away from the scene and here she is leaning against the police van with her ugly cry. I glance at the back and the babies are okay, sleeping. I step out of the car making sure to lock it and rush towards her. Her eyes land on me and her eyes puke with relief.
“Babe.” I just pull her into my arms and let her sob onto my chest. “It's okay babe, I am here.” She clings on to me like I will run away from her. I try pulling out of the hug, but she holds me tighter.
“What happened?” I ask the officers who were at the scene.
“It's nothing major. She knocked a goat down. Miss was afraid and...”
“Just take her home and make sure she is relaxed and calm. Miss be safe.” They tap on my shoulder and turn to leave. The breakdown is already here to tow her vehicle. It's okay I do have another car at home. She will take that one. This Kwid has been in good use for far too long now.
“Let's go home.” I say. She doesn’t want to move away from me. “I have kids in the car.” Only then she lets go of me. She holds my arm tightly.
“It's okay, ngikhona babe.” The hiccups. I think this now has emotional pregnancy written on it.
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“Let me make you tea.” I say. She doesn’t want me to move or do anything. After the incident she wanted to come here directly and have some sleep. I believe she is still angry with her boyfriend. I tried his number again and it did not go through. Something in me tells me to go check up on him. I make Nozi tea and luckily, she is drinking it.
“I will sleep with Zuri.” She stands up and goes up stairs. I am not bothered by that all I am concerned about Jele not being okay wherever he is. After some time, I sneak up the stairs and find her already in a deep sleep. Hope she will hear the kids when they are awake. I walk out of the house making sure to lock it.
Driving in highspeed at night has never been a good move. I passed every robot like they do not exist. The lights are still on, and the gate is still open. This is how I left it. I step of my car and run to the house. I freeze when I see him lying on the kitchen floor in a pool of blood coming out of his mouth. I flip him over checking for a wound but there is nothing. Did someone break in and shot him?
“Where does all of this blood come from?” I ask myself. It can't be that all of this blood is coming out of his mouth. His phone is on the floor beside him. Maybe he tried reaching out to someone, but his phone was off. I dragged him on his upper chest – dragging him to the car. It’s a hustle. This man is heavy. But I managed to throw him in the backseat of the car.
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“Will he be, okay?” I ask the doctor.
“He will be fine.” I see in his eyes that Jele will not be fine.
“You can tell me.” I say.
“It's not looking good at all.” he tells me. I shut my eyes feeling a sting pain. Pale lips, a downward turn of the mouth and droopy eyelids. When I saw him this morning, he was not looking like this. He has aged within hours, and it looks scary. He is a light skinned man, but he has just become dark in complexion.
“Does all of this make any sense?” I mean I am confused. It can't happen that one gets to change just like that!
“There is no air circulating in his lungs. So, everything in him is not functioning as its meant to be.” I sit on the bench and bury my face in my hands. How will I look at Nozi and tell her that the father of her child is not in a good state. She will...
“Ow God!” Jele cannot die a leave me to deal with the pieces I don’t even know whether they will be ever amended.
“He just needs his loved ones to be beside him.” I know what he means. Nozi should be here. Next to him through thick and thin. I will have to find a way of telling her. Which way will that be? I on the other hand have no idea. This is one fucked up situation.
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It’s 02:00 am on the dot and I am still wide awake. I am looking at her peacefully sleeping. I have no other...
“What time is it?” she is awake. I am just lost in her sleepy eyes, and I haven’t noticed that she is awake. My mind has left me – honestly.
“We need to talk.” I say getting off the small bed. My back aches. This bed was customized for toddlers. I don't know how Nozi made her body fit in there. She stands up with her eyes fixed on me. I stretch out my hand and entwine it with mine. We are going to have this discussion where we used to call OUR bedroom.
“Have a set.” She sits down. I can feel her pulsation.
“What's going on?” she asks looking uneasy.
“Come here.” I pat on the space beside me. I want her head to lay on my chest when I break the news to her. I don’t know how but I will see along the way. She lays her head on my chest...
“Do you know that Jele loves you and he will never want anything wrong to come your way?” She looks up at me with a frown plastered on her face.
“How do you know that?”
“Because he told me woman.” I hide the pain I am feeling with a smile.
“Yea, I love him too, but I am angry at him.” she returns her head to where it was. I take a deep breath and brush her arm.
“I am not too sure whether you have noticed. Jele has not been okay for the past months, and he was afraid to tell you what’s wrong with him. He was afraid that when he tells you, you might have a miscarriage or try...”
“What is wrong with him?”
“Jele has last stage lung diseases and there is no cure for it. He has had this for years and no one knew about it, only just his doctor. He was afraid to tell you.”
“What do you mean when you say last stage lung diseases?” she sits up straight. I sit up straight too.
“I don’t know how to break this, but Jele might leave us anytime soon. Right now, he is in a hospital fighting for his life. He did not ignore you on purpose, he is in massive pain.” I see her eyes widen in shock. She jumps out of bed and runs to her what used to be her walking closet. I don’t know what for, but she came back wearing a dress on top of her night gown.
“Nozi,” I also jump off the bed and follow her bed. I know where she is going.
“Give me the car keys!” I shout.
“I can't let you drive in that state Nozi. You are pregnant and it’s not safe.’
“Are you keeping me here against my will?” She asks.
“No, I would never do that. I love you way too much. I can't lose you for the second time. At least wait for morning and I will take you to him but not now, please”
“I want to see him, Simphiwe. I want to ask him some questions.”
“I know. But that can be done tomorrow. I am not keeping you away from him. But we will go in the morning to check up on him. Think about the little life you are caring.” She sinks down on the floor and bursts into tears.
“Jele can't leave me when I am about to need him the most. Why did he sell me happiness when he knew he would leave me in time? Why did he make me love him so much when he was going to leave me? What will I say to our baby?” She lets out a painful cry tearing my heart apart. I am hurting to know that she is also hurting. I close my eyes and let a few tears fall.
“Not Mlando please. No.” When feelings get so extreme you don't know how to manage or cope with them, crying can be one way to express them and get relief. I see her pinching herself on the skin between her thumb and pointer finger. “Am I dead?” she asks.
“Is all this a dream or you are lying to get under my skirts? Why are you hurting me like this Simphiwe?”
“No babe. I would never hurt you with such.” I held her head so tightly against my chest not wanting to let go. That painful cry again. It's triggered by a range of feelings. Ow my dear Nozi.