SIMPHIWE SHANDU THE HUSBAND
CHAPTER 28
JELE
I don’t know if I didn’t come right on time - what would have happened? I would have lost her. The more I think about losing her – the more my feelings of having a fast-beating, fluttering pounding heart take over. She has been out for two days. And for those two days were the most miserable days of my life ever. When we found her lying on the floor inert, on top of her own chunder – made my own stomach turn. She was smelling her own faeces, her own urine...I just don’t want to think about it. I still ask myself this question – if we had not arrived in time, what would have happened? It's true when they say, never rely on police for such sensitive cases – they just throw it back on our faces. I sigh standing up. I don't know when was the last time I went home to eat and take a bath. Two days. Water is all I know these days and that is what my stomach can take at the moment. When I am in pain my appetite sinks to the pit of my stomach.
“Is she still out?” the policeman that took me seriously asks stepping inside her room. I sigh getting off the bed. I am always squashed beside her; I don’t want any mistake of her leaving my side ever again. I don’t think I will ever bear the pain of losing her. It was fine when she was still married and I was able to love her from afar – but now everything has changed.
“Yes, but the doctors say she is okay, just that she inhaled a lot of dust.” I respond looking back at her. We are just hoping for the best so that she is not diagnosed with lung disease called hypersensitivity pneumonitis. If they ever detect that – that means chances of us losing our first child...
“Will back later on to check up on her.” he says walking out of the room. I am thankful that he took me seriously and saved someone's life.
“Thank you.” I say before he steps out of the room.
“Was just doing my job, sir.” He smiles and takes his leave. I sit back on the bed and hold her hand. I smile caressing on her flat tummy. I can't wait for her to be big. I want to feel those baby kicks. Mini Jele running around would be the most treasurable present one has ever got to receive. As absurd as it looks - I have always imagined myself having a kind family with this divorcee. I don’t know what made me so stupid to even think that one day she would carry my me. I carried that positivity till now. And now she is here in my arms and in my heart. Like she was supposed to in the first place. I heard\ her groan trying to move but the pain shot through. The facial expression says it all.
“Babe.” I call her. I am happy and afraid at the same time. Doctors are still yet to do more tests which makes me not okay at all.
“Hmm.” she mumbles trying to take the pipe out of her mouth. I am a doctor myself, but this is not my case. I click on the buzzer and the nurse walks in with a huge wry face. She composes herself when her eyes land on Nozi.
“She is awake.” she says putting her gloves on rushing towards her, Nurses with attitude, will kill patients one day. “Please step out for me sir.” she says looking at me. I am not going anywhere and I am not answering her even. I sit down not giving her my attention. I have a lot of things to worry about other than her gloomy countenance face. She glances in my direction and huffs.
“If I were you, I would mind how I handle the patients. I am also a doctor but I do not let my status say otherwise.” I speak. I wish we admitted her to the hospital I work in. The care there is better. Eshowe Hospital has better hospitality. She clears her throat and does not respond. She removes the securement device from her nose. This allows for the tube to be easily removed. She pulls for it slowly...they had to sustain her body to be strong so that her body does not get tired and loose on to the holding – meaning she might lose the baby in a later stage. That is why she was being fed in a tube for those certain minutes and it will be removed again.
“Are you okay? Blink twice if you feel any pain?” She shouts like she is talking to a deaf person. Nozi blinks multiple times. The nurse sighs and steps back. I don't understand why people will look for jobs in the department where they do not fully enjoy. Why did she do nursing course in the first place?
“Where does it hurt?” Nozi slowly lifts her hand up and points at her chest. A spine-tingling causing my heart to stir. She groans again. I stand up and stand by her side.
“Babe,” I want to cry but I have to stay strong for her.
“Will call the doctor to examine her.” she says walking out.
Minutes later she comes back with the doctor that has been on Nozi’s side ever since she was admitted. She scans her eyes and listens to the breathing on her chest.
“We need to do a scan – just to make sure that the baby is okay.” How can I forget when I was told that they found fluid in her stomach but It can be drainable with the help of medication.
“Here is the fetal pole.” she points out at the tiny dot on the screen. Everything is just a blur but I am happy nonetheless. “Listen to that.” The day has come to say hello – finally being a father, to see the one who's still so small. A heartbeat bringing many tears, but still will come all the fears. I am really going to be a father in a few months' time. This is an emotional pace for me. I wish my mother was here to witness all of this. Don’t want to be facing the dad syndrome!
“You look scared.” she says, turning to face me. Shes pretty but not my cup of tea.
“I am excited and afraid at the same time.” I say rubbing my hands together. How will I ever thank Nozi for this.
“It’s normal to be scared about becoming a new parent as the experience can be quite daunting. Most people have many feelings of uncertainty when they have their first child. This is perfectly normal.” I guess she is right. “Call me if you need anything.” She hands me her card before stepping out of the room. The nerve!
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She is fast asleep and she hasn’t said a word. She moans and talks in her sleep trying to fight whoever or whatever. I should have known that this would create emotional damage in her. When she cries, I don’t know how to help her. I just become lost and confused. I try getting some sleep but she begins to cry in her sleep again. She is sweating...
“Babe.” I slightly shake her but she fights my hands.
“Nozimanga, it's me Mlando.” I say through my greeted teeth. My body is exhausted and my inner self is just not connecting. She is struggling to breathe. I jump off the bed...
“Babe Nozi.” her eyes are rolling backwards. I don’t know what to do. Nozi cannot do me like this. When will one get to enjoy one's company. If she dies now, it's me losing her. I held her head close to my chest. I don’t know what to do or who to run to. I rub her back – this always helped me whenever I had trouble struggling to breathe after a terrible dream. My mother would rub my back until I am calm and back to my sleep again. I rub her – like my mother used to. Her breathing is subsiding to normal, that is a good sign, right? I feel her shrinking in my arms. I look at her and notice that she has fallen asleep again. I let a few tears drop.
“I love you.” I whispered into her ear. I want her to know. I want her to recall it every day that she meant and still is meant to means something to my entire life. I watch her sleep and I feel my eyes getting heavy. Having to not have a good sleep and a proper meal in two days has had me enegyless. My whole immune system is not functioning that well. I yawn - I really need some sleep. I need to go home, take a good shower and sleep the longest sleep ever!
“Will see you in the morning.” I say perking on her dry lips. I walked out of the hospital with a heavy heart. I don’t want to leave her behind but I have no choice at the moment. Everything in me needs to rest. I can feel my system slowly shutting down. Driving back home, everything is just fuzzy making it hard for me to focus on the road. Thankfully I managed to arrive home safe and sound.
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I feel fresh after that longer warmful shower. I did eat but my stomach is not taking anything in. Been trying to close my eyes and get some sleep but I can't. The picture of Nozi sleeping on her own...I don’t even want to think about it, I get off the bed - I need to drink something that will make me sleep. Two sleeping tablets and already I feel the buzz of sleep taking over.
SIMPHIWE
I read the text from Jele. I am so tempered to drive to the hospital and just hold her in my arms and tell her that everything will be okay. Tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me. I sigh out of guilt – maybe she despises me wherever she is. Jele must have told her that I am somehow linked to her abduction. I now know better. Never will I ever find myself in between another womans legs. I have learnt my lesson. I want to live for my kids now and make them happy kids and have me to be a proud father. As for Bagqibile – as much as it hurts that I cannot spend time with Sizile there is nothing that I can be able to do at the moment. She is shutting me out. I take a deep breath looking at her picture on the wall. This has always been there. I will never remove it causes it's just where it belongs. The emotional smile. The hurt of knowing that your wife is in bed with another man. The pain of knowing that she might be in love with him more than she could ever love me. I shut my eyes and everything comes back flooding. My chest is closing up and I can taste my own bile from deep within. I rush to the toilet and everything spews up. The whole food I've eaten has gone to waste. I rinse my mouth and look at the reflection of myself in the mirror. I have no one to blame but myself. I bang the table with anger taking over. He fucked her in that hotel! My Nozi let someone else dip in my cookie jar. That has always been mine and will forever be mine.
“Nxla.” I still smell his semen from time to time. Like today it's one of those days where I get to smell; the whole of him. My head feels dizzy and everything rushes up to my throat making me bend my head to the toilet. My stomach is upset. No matter how hard I try to get that image of a wet pussy out of mind - I just can't seem to. I gag again but nothing comes up. I've been struggling with this image for quite some time but I decided to be a man and pretend to be okay on the inside. In an actual fact I am not. I rinse my mouth again and pull myself to bed. I am going back to work tomorrow. My leg has healed perfectly fine and I don’t see the reason holding me back. This Genqe chick is good with the kids and it's safe to says I love her for my kids. I look around my bedroom - it's just cold and empty. There is no light anymore.
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Sleep was just okay. Managed to sleep throughout the night after that painful tossing and turning. I find Genqe already awake.
“Hei, what time did you wake up?” I asked her. She smiles and wipes her hands with the dry cloth. “Around 5:00. I heard you saying that you are going back to work so I decided to make you lunch.” she says handing me my lunch box. She is a good cook, no lies but not close to Nozi.
“Thank you.” I take it and go back upstairs to take a shower. Just a quick one to relax my body. I step out of the shower and my clothes are on top of the bed neatly ironed and the bed made. I didn’t hear her come in. Guess I was too occupied to hear anything. I need to have a word with her about entering my room without knocking.
I find Zuri downstairs playing her baby carrier. At least she will not notice me leaving. She has become clingy these days and I find it cute.
“Call me if you need anything.” I say.
“Yebo Mnumzane.” I want to roll my eyes so bad. I have told her countless times to address me by my first name but girl is something else. Hope my day will be less dramatic than its usual self. But deep down I am not emotionally okay.
VIOLET
She slept with an aching body and an aching pussy. The first thing she did when she woke up was to go to the clinic to report the incident. The man she thought she loved to bits could do her this way. It has been conformed she was raped. All the evidence was there. She doesn’t feel any ounce of guilt for doing the right thing. She will need to go and apologies to Simphiwe for tainting his name in the mud. She shouldn’t have done what she did. After the inspection form the clinic, she went straight to the police stating to report the crime. Narrating what happened to her was emotional damage. But she has no other choice. Can she walk? No everything in her hurts physically.
“Knock, knock.” she knocks on Simphiwe’s door step. An unfamiliar woman opens.
“Sawubona.” she politely greets.
“Is Simphiwe around.” Violet stretches her neck searching from the inside.
“He went to work.” Genqe smiles.
“What are you to him?” curious killed a cat. She just came here to apologize for the drama she caused this family. Maybe then she will be able to move on in peace.
“I am...” her phone rings. She looks at her screen and faces Violet. “Sorry I have to take this.” She picks the video call up and walks back inside leaving the door open. Violets lets herself in following Genqe. She sits down and watches Zuri kissing the screen with her juicy lips. She drops the line after bidding farewell to Simphiwe. Somehow her heart is shattered in a way and she doesn't t know the reason why.
“Can I get you anything.” Genqe asks looking at Violet.
“No.” she responds with her arms folded against her chest. A car pulling over outside, surely that must be him.
“Ow, looks like he is home.” Gegqe says picking Zuri up to change her diaper. She disappears up the stairs. Simphiwe walks whistling...
“What are you doing here?” he asks with a grimace expression on his face.
“I came to see you.” she politely says before standing up.
“Okay, about what? I am work.”
“I just want to say I am sorry.” she says blinking in tears. “I am sorry for putting your life on the line. It was inconsiderate of me to lie about you like that.” ‘
“V, you have no idea of what your lies made me go through. The person you need to apologize to is my wife. She almost lost her life because of that stupid crazy boyfriend of yours.” he is mad and his madness is understandable. She tells her inner self.
“Now, if you will excuse me, I need to get going. See yourself out.” he says going up the stairs. She takes time to look at his back. A well–built body – more like a rugby player. Very tall with that light skinned tone. She takes a deep breath and tries standing still but the pains are unbearable. He comes back down shortly with the woman following behind. Must be the new house help. She is pretty no lies. A pinch of jealousy.
“My lunch please.” He grabs the lunch box and stops by the door. “Make some for dinner too. Please use that soup that my wife loves the most.”
“Yes sir.” He walks out without even giving her a glance. She decides to finally get the courage to walk out slowly and wonders where to from here and how to move from the pain she is feeling.