helloooooo happy wednesday!!
this was requested a while ago by @Aspenchokey ! thank you for requesting this!! it's basically exactly like the others but pre-twins and just cadnis goin through it and dragging damian behind them.
tw for
periods
mentioned pregnancy
and as always if i've missed something please let me know so i can add it :)
enjoy!
————
Damian is in the midst of his nightly singing time, using his comb as a microphone instead of on his hair like he's meant to be doing. He continues dancing around his room to gather his pajamas.
He screams when a twirl lands him facing the door, a sudden Cady standing there looking quite upset. He rushes back to his vanity to pause his song. "What happened?"
Cady bursts into tears, sniffling into his shoulder when he hurries to pull her into a hug.
"What's the matter, babe?" Damian asks sadly. His heart always breaks a little when Cady's upset. Sue him, he cares about his friends.
"I really-really want Taco Bell but-but we don't have any," Cady wails into his shirt.
Damian blinks in confusion. "Taco Bell?"
"Yeah," Cady sobs, muffled against his shoulder.
"Oh," Damian says as the understanding suddenly hits. That time of the month.
He's been friends with both Cady and Janis long enough to learn what happens for each of them on their periods.
Cady gets very emotional, and very hungry. The smallest thing is enough to make her cry for hours. Damian learned this years ago, during a movie night back in high school. He and Cady were splitting a pack of gummy bears, and Cady cried for a solid twenty minutes because she had accidentally eaten the last green one, Damian's favorite flavor, instead of saving it for him.
She can also eat an ungodly amount of food. Damian doesn't know how, and he's frankly too afraid to ask. He's never sure how she can eat so much and still be so tiny. Where does it go?
Janis, on the other hand, gets angry, and very cuddly. Which makes her angrier.
Janis introduces him to a world of new insults once a month, over things that don't seem like such a big deal to him. Like the time she dropped a paintbrush and the neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She also only seems to be content when someone is holding her. She says it makes the cramps better, but it infuriates her that she needs it because it 'goes against her image' that she tries so desperately to maintain.
Damian tenses when he hears a clang from the kitchen followed by a flurry of impossibly loud profanities.
Dear god, they've synced.
Cady is his first priority, since she's rapidly on her way to just becoming a sad little puddle of Caddy in his arms.
"Shh, Little Slice. Here," he says. Cady takes his phone in her small hands and looks up at him with a pitiful sniffle. "Look up the menu and make a list of what you want."
"You'll go?" Cady sniffs, her lower lip trembling again.
"Of course," Damian hushes. Cady starts crying again, which was the opposite of what he wanted.
"I love you," Cady blubbers.
"I love you too. Do you need anything else? Hygiene stuff? Candy?"
"Sour Patch Kids," Cady sniffles. "And the good chocolate."
"Okay," Damian chuckles.
"Sorry," Cady continues. "You're an angel."
"Thanks," Damian laughs as Cady squishes his cheeks between her hands and smooches his forehead. "Come on."
Cady squeaks as Damian hauls her up bridal style and carries her out to the kitchen.
"Jan, come cuddle your girlfriend."
"What?" Janis replies, aggressively washing a spoon in his direction. Cady sniffles, lip trembling and more tears threatening to spill if Janis is mad at her. Janis turns off the tap and turns around, blinking in surprise at the situation. "What happened?"
Cady pouts and reaches out for Janis. Damian shifts to hold her under her arms, keeping her held aloft like baby Simba in The Lion King.
"I hate this family," Cady grumbles sarcastically as Janis grabs her, letting Cady koala around her torso and nuzzle into her shoulder.
"Come along, children," Damian says. Janis blinks at him again, so Damian motions her over and shoots her a look. "Chop chop."
"Don't tell me what to do," Janis huffs.
"I'm not, I'm telling Caddy. You just happen to be her chosen mode of transportation," Damian replies. "Now, get your hormonal asses over here."
"I am not hormonal!"
"Stop yelling," Cady whimpers against her.
"You're such a baby when it's your shark week," Janis teases.
"I'm always baby," Cady huffs. "Don't bully me."
"Oh, yeah, I'm so terrible," Janis scoffs.
"You are. You're a terrible mean thing."
"Says you," Janis smirks, getting exactly what she wants when Cady kisses her to shut her up. "You okay, Peanut?"
"Mmhmm," Cady hums contently into Janis' neck, which her girlfriend finds unfairly adorable. "Damie's getting me Taco Bell."
"Is he now?" Janis says, raising a suspicious eyebrow at her friend. "Nice of him."
"Look at her, I can't say no," Damian defends, gesturing to the tiny redhead wrapped around Janis. "Here, write out what you want too."
"Why are you being so nice?"
"Because you guys scare me when you're on your periods."
"You are too?" Cady asks, pulling back a bit to look at her girlfriend.
"No, I just yell at spoons on the regular," Janis teases. Cady humphs and scrunches her face up.
"You're a meanie."
"You knew that going in, babes. Part of my charm," Janis sighs, relaxing back against the couch. "Are you gonna let go?"
"Nooooo."
"Alright, fine," Janis huffs, getting comfy with her little monkey of a girlfriend wrapped solidly around her.
"You love it," Cady teases against Janis' warm neck. "Cause you're a big old softie and you love cuddles."
"I am not!" Janis insists. "I just let you because you cry if I make you let go."
"That means you careeee," Cady continues. "Because you looooooooove me."
"Yeah, yeah," Janis hums, not willing to admit how nice it is to have a clingy girlfriend when her period hits. Cady's like a heating pad and a weighted blanket all in one.
"Alright, lesbians, here," Damian says, firing up Gilmore Girls on Netflix and handing Cady the remote as he drapes a blanket over the two of them. "I shall return shortly with our Taco Bell bounty."
"I love you!" Cady calls as he leaves. "Don't get mugged."
"I'll try hard," Damian chuckles. "Love you too."
"You're kinda handy around this time of the month," Janis hums. "Even Damian's not immune to the puppy eyes."
"Hey! He's not our servant. I didn't think he'd go, I just got upset," Cady mumbles sheepishly. "You were busy and Dame gives good cuddles too."
"But one way or another you're getting your tacos," Janis smirks.
"And I'm sure Damian's gonna make me recreate bootlegs with him for a week to make up for it," Cady sighs.
"That's not so bad. I was a big fan of your two-man production of Wicked," Janis laughs.
"Defying Gravity was just me on his shoulders while I waved the Swiffer around."
"And it was excellent," Janis scoffs. "I still think you would've made a better Galinda, but Dame did it pretty well too."
"His Popular was pretty incredible," Cady admits. Janis laughs and starts gently brushing her fingertips up and down part of Cady's spine. Cady shivers contently and nuzzles somehow closer into her shoulder. "That's nice."
"Is it now?"
"Mmhmm," Cady hums. "I'm kind of glad we synced."
"Really?" Janis chuckles.
"Yeah. Less laundry. And now we get to split our cravings when we have them, and we both get cuddly so it works out," Cady says. "Probably easier on Dame to get our hormonal rage out at once, too."
"I do not have hormonal rage," Janis scoffs.
"Tell that to the spoon," Cady giggles. "You know what this means, though."
"What?"
"Your period came early, right?"
"Yeah?" Janis says in confusion. "Few days early, why?"
"Mine's right on time," Cady says, leaning up on her elbows with a grin. "Your body synced to mine. That makes me dominant."
"Yeah, ri-"
"Your hormones are my bitch."
"Caddy!" Janis laughs in shock.
"I'm just saying," Cady shrugs. "I run this menstrual shitshow now. Get used to it."
"Your hormones may have worked mine into submission," Janis hums, slowly shifting her hands down Cady's back, lower and lower. "But we both know which way this goes in every other circumstance."
They're both very glad Damian is out.
He doesn't need to know what happens to their sex drives when that time comes.
————-
An hour or so later, Damian comes parading back through the door, swallowed by various bags of snacks and their dinner. Cady leaps up to help free him, but Janis can't get past a 45 degree angle and decides she'll help with something else. Later.
She bristles a bit as she hears her girlfriend squeal, "You're the best!" She knows it's stupid to be jealous of her openly homosexual best friend's relationship with her girlfriend, but sometimes her emotions decide to be particularly sadistic.
"Jayjay, come on," Cady says, carrying in about half of Damian's treasures. "Dinner."
"Help," Janis groans, reaching out for her. Cady rolls her eyes lovingly and rests her bags on the table before coming to her. Janis leans along as Cady grabs her outstretched hands and hauls her up. "Hi."
"Hi," Cady giggles. "Come on, he got your burritos."
Janis groans and trudges her way over, like she's making her way across town in a blizzard. Cady waits for her in the kitchen with some painkillers and a sip of her Baja Blast.
"Thanks," Janis says once the pills are down and working their magic on her cramping body. She sits at the table armed with the heating pad Damian also offers and tears into her bean burrito.
"Thank you Damian," Cady says happily, standing behind Damian's chair and hugging him. Damian laughs as she rests her chin on top of his head and gently pats her arm.
"You're welcome. Come eat," he chuckles.
Cady does, taking her own large bag of food as she sits down. She does a little happy dance as she finally gets to dig into her tacos.
And dig in she does. Janis and Damian observe in a mix of awe and horror as she downs three tacos, two burritos, four quesadillas, an unholy amount of cheesy potatoes, and a whole slushee in less than fifteen minutes.
"Maybe I should get pregnant," Janis mumbles as she slowly chews her own burrito. Cady chokes on her slushee.
"What?!"
"I wouldn't have to deal with this for nine months," Janis says. "I think that's worth it."
"I think it would be exactly like this for nine months with no break in between," Cady giggles. "And probably worse. And we definitely don't need a baby right now."
"Nothing says we have to keep the baby," Janis shrugs. "I could be a surrogate."
"But you couldn't have sushi that whole time," Cady replies, raising a knowing eyebrow. "Or as much coffee as you insist you need to function."
"Never mind, I can never be pregnant," Janis replies immediately.
"Thank god for that," Damian murmurs under his breath. Janis gently whacks him upside the head. "Ow! Hey, I got you dinner."
Janis rolls her eyes lovingly as she stands up to go throw away her dinner trash, gently kissing the spot on his head she hit. "There. All better."
"Maybe I'll get pregnant, then," Cady says as she follows Janis.
"What?!" Damian and Janis both yelp.
"What?" Cady replies. "I could handle it, I think."
"Cads, you're barely five feet tall, I think a baby might kill you," Janis replies. "It'd probably come out bigger than you."
"Hey!" Cady pouts. "That's mean."
"It's just the facts," Janis says, kissing Cady's cheek.
"There have been plenty of short people who've had babies throughout history and been fine. And you're right, no periods for nine months," Cady says. "And I don't even like sushi or coffee in the first place, so I'd be totally fine!"
"I dunno if I can handle nine months of Taco Bell, though," Janis chuckles. "Or a baby."
"I don't crave Taco Bell all the time," Cady huffs. "We'd mix it up."
"Yeah, with Chipotle, probably," Janis replies teasingly, gently poking Cady's belly. "You're probably about sixty percent taco at this point in your life."
"I didn't get to eat a single taco until I was sixteen, I have a lot of tacos to make up for!" Cady pouts.
Janis grins and kisses her pout away, gently holding Cady against her. Cady hums happily and nuzzles into her chest. "Happy?"
"Mmhmm," Cady nods. "But you're mean."
"Might wanna get used to that," Janis says.
"Yeah, yeah, you're a horrible mean person all the time forever, I get it," Cady chuckles. Janis suddenly freezes beneath her, her entire body tensing. "What's the matter?" Janis takes a deep breath. Cady pulls back to see the pained look on her face. "Oh. Cramps?" Janis nods. "Poor baby."
"Can we cuddle?" Janis whispers when the pain fades enough for her to speak. Cady smiles and kisses her nose.
"Of course. Come on," she says, leading Janis back to the couch. Janis lies down with a small pout. "Do you have your heating pad?" Janis shakes her head, pointing to the kitchen. Cady bends to kiss her pout away. "You're still my tough punk."
Cady heads back to the kitchen to finish cleaning up after their dinner and grab Janis' heating pad.
"Dame, do you wanna watch movies with us?"
"I'd love to, but I have a very involved skincare routine to finish and beauty sleep to catch up on," Damian sighs. Cady giggles and gives him a hug.
"Okay. Goodnight. Sweet dreams."
"Goodnight," Damian replies, ruffling Cady's hair. "'Night, Jan."
"Goodnight," Janis calls from the couch, wincing as another cramp rolls over her. Cady heads over armed with her heating pad and some candy.
"How do you want me?" Cady asks jokingly, striking a pose. Janis lays her heating pad over her tummy and reaches for her, so Cady settles in on top of her and cuddles in against her neck. "Good?"
"Mmhmm," Janis hums. "Movie?"
"You pick," Cady says.
"Really?"
"Yeah. Whatever would make your poor uterus feel better," Cady giggles. She rolls her eyes affectionately as Janis scrolls right to The Shining. "I should have known."
"Yes, you should've."
—-
Cady doesn't look at the TV once throughout the movie, staying firmly pressed against Janis' shoulder so she doesn't have to see any of the scary things happening.
About halfway through she realizes this was probably Janis' plan all along, to keep her tightly cuddled against her for more warmth and comfort. Sneaky.
Janis does put on a Disney movie once her horror movie is over, so Cady shifts down a bit to be able to see Moana. Janis hums contently and squishes her closer when Cady starts fidgeting with the blonde ends of her hair to keep her hands busy.
-
"You ready to go to bed?" Cady yawns once the movie is over. "I'm sleepy."
"Yeah," Janis says. "I'll clean up out here, you go get ready."
"Mmkay," Cady says, yawning again. She leans in for a kiss before carefully climbing off her girlfriend and padding down the hall towards their bedroom. She can already hear Damian snoring from his room. He wasn't kidding about needing some beauty sleep.
She brushes her teeth and washes her face while she waits for Janis to straighten the kitchen and living room back up. Janis comes in behind her and kisses her cheek, spluttering a bit when she realizes Cady hasn't rinsed her face yet and she gets a kiss full of cleanser.
"Sorry, love," Cady chuckles. Janis wipes her lips off and hastily reaches for her toothbrush.
"You should use a cleanser that tastes better," she says, poking her tongue out a few times.
"Well you're not supposed to eat it, goof. And you use yucky toothpaste, so we'll just call it payback."
"My toothpaste is mint," Janis chuckles, squeezing some out and beginning to brush her teeth.
"Exactly. Vile," Cady huffs.
"Just becauthe 'ou don' like it," Janis says around a mouthful of foam.
"It's gross! My watermelon kind is much better!"
"Ith's for little kids," Janis chuckles.
"I'm baby," Cady pouts. "Mint is gross, I won't hear any arguments."
"Shuit yershelf."
Cady giggles and goes to crawl into bed. She gets comfy under the covers, pulling them up just beneath her nose. Hopefully Janis is still up for cuddles after two movies' worth. Cady always gets chilly on her period, and Janis is the best heater.
She listens with a faint smile as Janis does her own bedtime routine, listening for the clunk of a mouthwash bottle being set down and the scrubbing sounds as Janis washes her face.
Janis herself makes an appearance after a couple minutes, smiling as she sees her girlfriend all curled up and cozy in bed.
She's so focused on her that she misjudges her distance from their dresser. Cady winces as she smacks her foot against it, in pain by proxy just from the sound.
Janis immediately starts yelling, cursing both the dresser for being where it is and... the universe as a whole, from what little Cady can put together.
She was expecting a little bit of yelling, but Janis continues for longer than seems healthy.
"Fucking dresser being in my fucking way-" she hollers at the top of her lungs, either not noticing or not caring that it's midnight and they have neighbors. Most probably the latter. "My fucking foot!"
"Janis," Cady says lowly enough that Janis stops yelling and turns to look at her, having to listen intently to hear her. "Come here, my love."
"No, I don't-"
"Janis," Cady insists. "Just let me hold you for a minute and see how you feel. If you're still angry I promise you can wake the neighbors up again and keep going."
Janis huffs crankily and stomps over like a petulant child. Cady props herself up against the headboard just a bit, somewhere between sitting and lying down. Janis lies in between her legs and rests her head on her chest.
"One minute. All I'm asking," Cady whispers. "Just breathe and listen to my heart. One minute."
Janis' face is still screwed up in a mix of frustration and pain. Cady gently massages between her eyebrows with her thumb and scratches her scalp, both things that help calm Janis down. Sure enough, she feels some tension leave Janis' muscles and hears her sigh just shy of contently.
"Better?"
Janis nods shyly, smushing her face into Cady's tummy. Cady grins and pulls her up higher.
"We'll rearrange the furniture tomorrow. Save your poor feet any future strife. Okay?" she murmurs, kissing Janis' hair.
"Mmkay," Janis grumbles. "Your hands are cold."
"Maybe you should make them warm, then," Cady grins. Janis yelps as Cady slips her frigid little hands inside her shirt and presses them against Janis' warm back. "Mm. So warm."
"You're a gremlin."
"I'm your gremlin," Cady retaliates. She feels Janis smile against her.
"Can I return you?"
"Hey," Cady pouts. "You love me."
"I do," Janis chuckles. "Goodnight, baby shark."
"Oh, you monster."
—————
thanks for reading!! hope you enjoyed :)