Harry was incredibly nervous, and even though his leg had been twitching uncontrollably, he was now walking back and forth in the consultant's room like his life depended on it.
"Harry, would you sit down? You're giving my headache a headache."
His thumb was nestled between his lips, and I could tell he was biting his nail as he paced; his mind running haywire as he thought of every worst case scenario possible inside his head.
"We should have been more careful, Izzy." he said, over and over, "We should be using protection and I should have been more gentle-"
I rolled my eyes, although he couldn't see.
"Harry-"
"What if I've caused you damage? What if... I don't know, you're torn or something- what if you are preg-"
"Harry, stop." I firmly instructed, "You're thinking way too much into this and you're driving yourself crazy. I'm not pregnant-"
He stared at me, his eyes crinkling as he struggled to control his emotions.
"Yeah, that's what we thought the last time and look what happened there."
I paused, fiddling with my thumbs on my lap as Harry sighed hard beside me.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out the way it sounded."
"It's okay." I whispered, slowly reaching out to take his hand; "It's going to be okay, Harry. I know you're scared and you're freaking out because of the blood, I know it reminded you of the miscarriage and-"
"Izzy-" he winced awkwardly, "I-"
"But I'm almost positive that it's my period, Harry." I interrupted, his stare coming at me hard and fast.
"We don't know that, for sure though."
"I know my own body, Harry." I whispered, "Especially when it comes to this... my back hurts, I'm always hungry, my boobs are fuckin' sensitive-"
The colour literally drained from his face, to which I realised that they were also signs of pregnancy- and that's what he was thinking of.
"Harry, please stop worrying. I'm not pregnant. This time I know for a fact."
"But-"
"The only reason I agreed to come here for this appointment was to prove it to you that I'm not pregnant and to give you peace of mind. Just trust me, okay?"
Harry swallowed the lump in his throat, his nerves becoming more visible.
I held his hand nervously, squeezing at his fingers and stroking my thumb across the small skin in-between his finger and thumb.
"I just panicked, I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's fine." I promised him, "I know you're scared of going through that again, but I know my body Harry. Trust me. I'm telling you it's my period. We probably kick started it..."
He nodded shortly, kissing the back of my hand as a simple soft knock came at the door before it opened and in strode the female doctor.
I was quite happy to see the nurse to have confirmation that this bleeding was in fact the start of my period, but Harry wanted a professional opinion- not that he didn't believe nurses weren't professional, but I think having a doctor check me out gave him some sort of peace of mind.
"Isabelle, right?"
I nodded, reaching my hand out to shake hers.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Dr. Stevens."
"Nice to meet you too," I smiled at her, "And this is Harry, my boyfriend."
"Nice to meet you," she smiled at him, shaking his hand too politely; "I'm sorry I took so long, I was just catching up on your notes quickly. The receptionist said when you called in this morning that you've had a bout of bleeding, is that correct?"
I liked her, she was nice, warm and welcoming; so I nodded, confirming what she has said.
"Okay, so when was your last period?"
"I, uh... can't really remember directly. It was sometime last year though-"
"She had cancer, if you'd bothered to have read her notes properly."
"Harry-" I glared at him, "I'm sorry, he's a little cranky today." I added, as Dr. Stevens simply laughed and shrugged it off.
I glared at Harry, making a face at him.
"It's okay, I understand." She smiled at us both, "And just for clarification, I did read her notes properly, I was just trying to establish when her last period was so I could work out the dates of when she was infertile from the cancer treatment to now being fertile after its finished-"
"And you know about the uh..." Harry said, as I glared at him again.
"Yes, I know about Izzy's miscarriage." She said softly, a little chuckle coming out; "He's a little firecracker isn't he?"
"Isn't he just." I muttered, glaring at him as he shrugged and brushed his hand through his hair nervously.
"Okay, so everything else came back normal, your bloods are fine and everything is running as they should be; so if you'd like to get up onto the bed I'll take a look and see what we can come up with."
"Alright." I replied, as both the Doctor and I moved into the next room; Harry following behind me.
"Sorry, you'll have to wait outside-" she said, as Harry stopped dead on his feet, looking like a deer in headlights as he zoned in on her.
"What? Why?" He asked, his back immediately popping up; "Why can't I come in? I want to be with her-"
"Because-"
"It's alright, it's fine. He can stay." I reassured her and Harry at the same time, "He can stay."
"Are you sure, Isabelle?"
I nodded, "I'll only regret it, otherwise."
"It's just, what I'm about to do is very invasive and you are my priority, I want you to be comfortable and not worry-"
"It's not me that's worrying, it's him." I retorted, "He can stay, honestly. As long as he behaves and let's you do your job in peace... He can stay." I reiterated, taking my gaze directly his way.
"Scouts honour." Harry replied, taking the seat in the corner; "I won't make a sound, I promise."
"Yeah right," I snorted.
"I've going to carry out a bimanual examination. Do you understand what the examination involves, Isabelle?"
"A little," I answered, becoming vastly aware that Harry's eyes were on me again.
"Okay, well what the examination will involve is me using one hand to feel your tummy and the other hand to place two fingers into your vagina. This will allow me to assess the vagina, womb and ovaries. It shouldn't be painful, but it will feel a little uncomfortable. Let me know at any point if you would like me to stop."
"Okay."
"Does everything I've said so far make sense? Do you have any questions? Are you happy for me to perform the examination?"
I nodded once again.
"Good, I need you to go behind the curtain and remove your underwear for me, then please could you get onto the bed. You can cover yourself with the sheet provided, darling."
I did what I was told, ignoring Harry as he watched me slowly.
I stripped myself out of my jeans and knickers quickly, folding them up into a pile on the chair before I returned to the bed and caught Harry's mind working overtime.
He really was stressing himself out.
"You couldn't stay quiet even if you tried." I smiled at him, laying myself back down on the bed and placing my legs into the cold, metal stirrups.
"Okay," Dr. Stevens called out, slapping on a pair of gloves; "Have you ever had a smear test, Isabelle?"
"Twice." I answered.
"Good, so you're aware that any gynaecological examination is quite intimate, more so than a routine physical exam, yes?"
I nodded, getting myself comfortable.
"First of all, I'm going to ask you to relax for me alright? Like I said, I'm going to do a bimanual examination first to palpate your cervix, uterus, ovaries and pelvis."
"A what?" came Harry's voice.
I groaned.
"What is that? Is that safe? Why are you doing that to her?"
Oh God, why.
"It's perfectly safe, Mr. Styles." The doctor responded, "I'm just going to manipulate Isabelle for a couple of minutes, so I can get full access to what I need to see."
"You're going to... manipulate her?! You're talking about her like she's some sort of science experiment?!"
"Harry, maybe it's best you go outside." I offered, yet he shook his head and refused, coming up to stand directly behind me.
He was never good when it came to my health and I swear one day he was going to work himself up into a panic attack or worse.
"I'm staying right here. Sorry." He said firmly, "So um... You're putting your uh, fingers... inside her? To manipulate her?"
Dr. Stevens nodded, "It's completely safe and I won't hurt her. An abdominal/vaginal ultrasound can be used to confirm any abnormalities that I may find with the bimanual examination, so it's just a check up to see why Isabelle's bleeding."
"Abnormalities?" Harry asked, his breathing quickening.
"Harry-" I whined, "Just let her do her job, you're making it ten times worse."
He exhaled, just as he nodded nervously.
Dr. Stevens explained that if I were to she feel little, if any, discomfort that I should tell her immediately and that the examination should be over fairly quickly.
Great timing to say that while Harry is literally flipping his lid.
"Okay, so first of all, I'm going to inspect the outside of your vagina." She explained, as the weird texture of the gloves suddenly came at my bits.
I thought of everything really, everything other than what she was doing to me.
I wondered why I was putting myself through this when I knew deep down it was my period, but I couldn't forget the look on Harry's face when he saw the blood this morning in bed- so I was relatively doing this for him.
"Your labia and clitoris are both looking really healthy and I don't see any obvious abnormalities or such erosions." She explained, and I nodded, Harry's hand suddenly coming into my own.
I looked up to see him standing behind me, my hand stroking his other arm in an attempt to calm him down a little.
He was so nervous I honestly thought he was going to pass out.
"Okay, Isabelle. I'm going to lubricate my index and middle finger now, and then I'll be starting the procedure. Okay? Are you happy for me to proceed?"
I nodded, watching her as she lubed up her index and middle finger, her left hand separating me as she slowly inserted her index finger.
I winced slightly, but not because she was hurting me, but because I was obviously dry and tight; and my body didn't agree with the invasive object.
"Okay, baby?" Harry whispered beside my ear, his hands now stroking back my hair as I nodded; "I love you."
I winced again, feeling her probe at my cervix.
"Sorry sweetheart," Dr. Stevens spoke, "Just a little longer... I'm not hurting you am I?" She asked, and I shook my head.
"Just... feels weird."
I stared at Harry, noticing the fine streak of hairs under his chin as he watched Dr. Stevens carefully, his eyes eventually returning back to mine.
He said nothing, but seeing the love and admiration he had for me in his eyes was enough for him to say it all without actually opening his mouth.
I thought out everything that had happened in our lives together so far, and I knew, despite his panic and fear of this morning, I knew I would have never have gotten somebody better than Harry.
He was with me through it all, and was at my side for everything, supporting me and willing me on, even though he was obviously panicking inside.
I knew he hated watching me go through this, but he also knew that I was doing it for him- to give him peace of mind and if that wasn't love, I don't know what the hell was.
"I'm going to buy you the biggest ice cream I can find, later." He murmured, "Chocolate, mint... raspberry sauce, some nuts too if you like. The lot."
I grinned, still stroking his arm has Dr. Stevens palpated my vaginal walls, feeling for more abnormalities as she moved skilfully inside of me.
As much as it was invasive, she was very gentle and was using her fingertips to feel and palpate my cervix, feeling for its size, shape and mobility- checking to see if it was tender.
"And if it is your period, I'll buy you all the chocolate in the world... get you a nice water bottle for your back, run you hot baths to help you relax..."
I smiled blissfully, "Sounds good."
Dan had never taken care of me like that with my periods.
At this point, I felt Dr. Stevens palpate my uterus, pressing it between her right middle and index fingers, her left hand now on my lower abdomen as she felt for any masses... or God knows what else.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I'm sorry for making you do this."
"You didn't make me, Harry. I offered. There's a difference."
"I just hate seeing you like this... I'm sorry, baby."
I shook my head, "It's fine."
I bit my lip as I felt Dr. Stevens move again, manipulating and palpating each of my ovaries like she explained she would.
I laid flat still, feeling her fingers move expertly inside of me.
"How's that sweetheart?"
"Good, nothing hurts."
"Good, just what I'd like to hear." She replied, as Harry kissed my forehead softly; "And I think we're done."
"You're done?" Harry asked, "That was bloody quick?"
"It's a quick procedure, Mr. Styles." She smiled at him, ripping her gloves off and chucking them in the bin; "If you'd like to get dressed Isabelle, then come through to the office and we'll finish up in there okay?"
I nodded, taking my legs out of the now warmed up stirrups before Harry helped me off the bed and I walked around the curtain to get myself dressed again.
Harry waited for me on the other side, taking my hand supportively as we both walked into the office together, a look of nerves slapped on his face again.
"It's going to be fine," I reassured him, "Do you trust me?"
He nodded gently, but there was a flash of fear that was spreading across his face.
"I just don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you."
I knew he was referring to my cancer, and I couldn't help but soften up as I stared at him.
He was trying to be so supportive and positive, but I knew he was driving himself crazy thinking the worst things over and over.
"Okay, take a seat you two." Dr. Stevens offered us both, "Could you just give me a run through on what happened when you realised you were bleeding Isabelle?"
"I didn't, Harry did... but we made love this morning, and I guess I think my period started."
She was writing notes and I could tell Harry was restraining himself from craning his neck to the side to have a look.
"Okay, and I'm sorry for asking, but it'll help me minimise the situation- were you having rough sex or-"
"No." I said firmly, "Nothing like that. It wasn't sex, like I said, we were making love."
"Okay, good." She smiled positively, writing some more notes up before looking at her computer.
Harry was literally white as a sheet.
"But we don't know if it was her period for sure, I mean, that's why we're here... to find out." He said nervously, pausing before adding; "Is it her period, doc?"
"First of all, contrary to belief having sex or making love does not start your period- that's the good news. So you can continue having it, if you want too."
I frowned, "So why was I bleeding if it's not my period?"
"During the luteal phase, which is the second half of the menstrual cycle depending on how long a woman's is, at the end of it your uterine lining will start little by little shredding slowly as your progesterone drops."
"What does that mean?"
"Your oestrogen then becomes the dominate hormone, so while the lining is starting to shred, it hasn't made it's way to the cervix yet and your cervix hasn't opened." She explained, "So when you have sex, and you have an orgasm, your cervix then dilates and your uterus will contract, causing menstrual blood to work it's way down faster."
"So it is her period, that's what you're saying?" Harry asked, almost a little too quickly.
"Now while you didn't actually start your period by making love this morning, the act of it and your orgasm just caused the blood to move a little quicker." Dr. Stevens added, "When a woman is ready or close to starting her menstruation cycle, her cervix will become low and start to drop, then when she orgasms her cervix will dilate causing a vacuum to pull the menstrual blood down... which is what has happened today."
I blinked, my heart racing as her words were sinking in.
"So... I'm due? Like, I'm menstruating?"
Dr. Stevens nodded, smiling.
"You are, darling. Your period is the shredding of the bloody lining of your uterus. Your uterus contracts rhythmically to shake the blood out, which is what causes cramps. Sexual activity, particularly an orgasm causes this same contraction of your uterus, which can cause the bleeding to start to happen sooner than usual if you're right on the brink of starting."
"Bloody hell." Harry exhaled, "Excuse the pun... so, nothing is wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong, you are completely and utterly healthy, Isabelle." Dr. Stevens confirmed; "And actually, sex before your period is actually a really great idea because it will help ease cramping by taking care of some of that contracting and because the endorphins are natural pain killers."
"Don't tell him that, for goodness sake." I muttered, laughing as I rolled my eyes playfully.
"So just to measure up, on examination Isabelle, your abdomen was soft and non-tender. There were no abnormalities noted on inspection of the vagina. Vaginal examination was unremarkable, with no tenderness or masses noted. The uterus was retroverted, normal in size and normal shape. No masses were noted in the adnexa. These findings are consistent with a normal vaginal examination... congratulations, you're completely fertile."
I sat stunned, because even though I knew deep down all of this was my period, hearing the words that I was now completely fertile again, made me want to jump from the rooftops...or jump Harry, I hadn't quite decided yet seeing as my hormones were literally all over the place.
"So now we wait for the actual period to start?" Harry asked her, as I stared at him completely, taking in the way his jaw moved, the way his voice drawled out sexily and how he presented himself by sitting with his thighs spread open.
Fuck, I was horny just looking at him.
I'd forgotten what it was like to be raging horny before my period was due to start... and it was nice to be reminded of it, now that I was completely back to normal.
I couldn't wait to get him home.
After a little chat of what to expect seeing as it was going to be my first period since last year, Harry and I left Dr. Stevens' office in a much happier state than when we first entered it.
"How about that ice cream now, hm?" Harry asked, his lips kissing my temple softly while his arm buried itself across my shoulders as we walked out of the doctors.
Oh the thoughts running through my head right now... chocolate... mint... raspberry sauce... Harry... naked.
"Iz?"
"Hm?"
"You were miles away. Everything okay?"
God, even the way his mouth moved as he talked was driving me mental.
"Harry?" I called out carefully, "I vaguely remember telling you once that I'm not quite the same on my period... do you remember?"
He nodded, the tiniest smirk appearing on his face.
"I do, yeah."
"I also get really angry, a little depressed, highly emotional and self-loathing at the best of times... snappy, I want to be left alone, I may lock myself in the bedroom for a while..."
"I'll still love you, even when you're psychotic." He smirked at me, "But thanks for the warning...?"
God, he had no idea did he?
"I should also probably mention that I basically turn into Stifler's mom leading up to my period. I love/hate the week I'm due on because it literally almost aches down there and I walk around wanting to screw myself because I literally can't stop thinking about sex and my next orgasm... Oh God stop looking at me like that, you're turning me on."
A slight pause came between us for a few seconds, but it felt like hours.
"Stifler's Mom, you say?" He asked, arching his eyebrow at me.
Oh, fuck.
***
I turned back over, now being able to look into Harry's eyes, as he laid down beside me.
He kissed me hard, his hand running along my side, his fingertips exploring my skin, making it tingle beneath his touch.
"How was that?" He breathed, as I smiled pleasurably, feeling him nuzzling my neck; "How are you feelin' now, baby?"
"Amazing..."
"Yeah?"
"Hmm..." I smiled, surrendering myself into an utter blissful state, as he kissed my mouth softly.
Wrapped up in the safe confinement of a nearby hotel that we had booked for the afternoon, I revelled in the attention he was giving me as he made me feel good, soft sighs escaping from our mouths.
This was one of my many favourite moments after we had made love or, like today, given each other a brutal fucking... either way, the satisfaction was insanely real regardless.
"We're gonna have to make our way back to your Gran's soon," Harry murmured, "Everyone will wonder where we've gone..." He snickered, "Your brother is definitely going to kill me."
"I don't care, let's just stay here... Let them get on with it. I really don't care." I mumbled.
"We can't." Harry chuckled, his fingers draping down my spine; "You have some hanging out with Ryan to do, not to mention finalising the final details of the house... plus Molly, and I'm pretty sure Liam, Phoebs, Danielle, Louis, Niall and Sam wanted to go out tonight."
Sav, Terri-Ann and Charlie had all returned to London.
"I'd rather fuck you instead."
"That's the period talking." Harry grinned, "I didn't know girls were like this on them."
"I'm one of a kind, Harry."
"That you are baby."
"And anyway, are you complaining? You still get laid, regardless."
"After what we just did? No way." Harry mused, his face looking at me, as one of his hands found it's way to my cheek, caressing me slowly as I slowly turned onto my back; "Have you ever had sex on your period before?"
I shook my head, "Don't laugh, but no... you were my first..."
Harry looked surprised; "For real? You've not done that before?"
"For real." I confirmed quietly, "I get that it's a taboo thing... like some girls don't like it, and that's fine, but I don't really see that much of a problem if both parties are okay with it."
"Why do I get the feeling you're telling me something I don't know?" Harry asked, "And if we're being honest, I didn't think you were that type of girl that was into it either."
"Really?" I asked, turning to my side to face him; "How come?"
"I don't know... I just didn't think that it was your thing," Harry shrugged, "But... now that I know differently..."
"It's good, isn't it? Well, it feels good for me."
"So how come I was your first if you love it so much?"
I paused, nibbling on my lip.
"You promise you won't laugh at me?"
"Izzy, when have I ever laughed at you when it comes to sex or our sex life in general? C'mon." Harry urged, his arm bent as he rested his head on the palm of his hand; "Tell me."
"I don't really..."
"Iz, c'mon babe. Tell me."
"You won't look at me any differently?"
"I promise, I won't laugh or look at you any different."
"Okay." I breathed, "I've always kinda liked it, I mean... before the cancer, I suffered like really badly. My periods were awful. Some months were easier than others, but then the ones that were really awful... I'd be crippled in bed with some of them."
"Shit, Iz..."
"I just really struggled with the cramping and I'd be in bed for days sometimes until it passed. So when I was a teenager, I did some research... and googled it."
"Oh God, you didn't-" he chuckled, as I threw him a glare.
"You said you wouldn't laugh, Harry!"
"Babe, I'm not!" He protested, "I'm honestly not... Carry on."
"Well, I read that sex eases the pain... I googled a couple of things, and I just read that it was good for you... so before I was with Dan, I just sort of learned to get myself off."
"Okay..."
"I've never tried sex or fingering, I didn't really fancy the idea of that too much at the time... but I learned over time as I got older that I could just plug in and do what I wanted. Before I used to wear pads, but then I switched to tampons so... um, yeah."
"Noted." He laughed adorably, "You prefer tampons?"
"Absolutely. Much cleaner and more hygienic. Pads are disgusting, but each to their own... Phoebe uses pads."
"I really didn't need to know that, Izzy."
I grinned, "Anyway, I met dickhead when I was sixteen and at this point my hormones are obviously raging... and the first time I tried to approach the subject, he-"
"He?" Harry said, waiting for me to finish my sentence; "Izzy?"
"He just said that it was dirty, that it was completely off limits and forbidden... but that didn't mean I had to stop sucking him off when it was my time of the month. And like a twat, I did." I muttered, feeling Harry tense beside me; "I mean, I shared everything with him... and the way he handled it was like it was really revolting. It was very immature, but I accepted it because I thought, obviously, that I loved him..."
"His fucking loss Izzy." Harry responded.
"It's quite sad though isn't it?" I argued.
I could feel my argument bubbling in the pit of my stomach.
"It's really said that menstrual taboo continues to linger, I mean why can't you have sex or just play at that time of the month?"
"Who says you can't?"
"Well he did for starters." I muttered, "So I learned to do it myself, I found that it relieved my cramps and it felt particularly great... for me. I enjoy it." I shrugged, before I felt my cheeks burn slightly.
"Hey... I enjoy watching you enjoy yourself." Harry murmured, to which I nudged him playfully; "I mean it... I mean, what we just did... it felt great for me too, you were so wet, I didn't need to do a thing. I've just discovered that sex is a whole other level of excitement when you're almost on your period. I can't wait for the real thing."
I stared at him, in disbelief.
"It's like I made you, just for me or something."
Harry smiled, a little snicker escaping from his mouth.
"I never really had sex on my period before, or leading up to it... it was always deemed as disgusting, so I was made to feel guilty about something that was apparently completely normal. So I would often just get myself off, I can't really explain it, but I don't know... it helps with the cramps and I find I'm not as cranky, either."
"He's a prick for making you feel that way." Harry huffed, his arms locking around me, "And a non cranky fiancée is better than a cranky fiancée... I don't mind a bit of blood if it helps you, I wouldn't want you to be in pain and suffering, Izzy."
I smirked, "You, are one of a kind Mr Styles... most guys don't like dealing with it."
"Since when was I most guys?" he teased, kissing my forehead, his fingers exploring my sides; "I love you, and I'll deal with your weird period sex fetish if you want me too-"
"Hey!"
"I'm totally kidding," he laughed, kissing my cheek; "It was hot as hell... seeing you ride me like that, are you more sensitive now?"
I nodded, "Like I said, I usually had to... well, play with myself to get myself off. I'm always horny when due on... I just can't help it, I want to fuck myself into a coma."
Harry laughed, "That's good to know... and for the record, you being more sensitive does wonders. I've never felt your body respond so fast to me before. It felt amazing."
"Really? It did?"
Harry nodded against me, "I know I wore a condom to be safe this time round, but, it still felt really good... I'm positive you were more wet than usual, it increased the pleasure- for both of us."
"I was. I mean, I always am, I told you... sex and periods with me, is just... urgh." I groaned, feeling his hand creep towards the inner curve of my thigh; "Did you really like it, Harry? You're not just saying that because I do are you?"
"Put it this way," Harry said softly, "I don't want you to feel like that ever again, okay?"
"But-"
"No buts," Harry murmured, "And yes, I did like it and yes, I'd do it again. Not bothered, see?" he replied, kissing my shoulder softly; "I love you. I want all of you, all the time. Period or no period... I think we're at a point now where we are able to be more open with one another sexually- and that's really good."
"It is?"
"Hmm," he murmured beside my ear; "It's good to talk about this stuff... and just so you know, I won't ever make you feel guilty about anything that you like or want to try, Izzy. Sex should be fun, it should be pleasurable and definitely not boring... and if we can find new ways to please each other, then so what if it's period sex or toys or whatever- as long as we're both happy doing it, who cares right?"
"You really mean that?" I asked him, as he nodded before kissing me softly.
"I really mean it, Iz." He promised me faithfully, "Look at what we've accomplished already since being more open with each other... you need to trust me just as much as I need to trust you, and honestly, the more trust we have the better our sex life will be."
"You're amazing, you know that?" I sighed happily, "You're really not freaked out about having sex with me on my period?"
"I'm not like that fucking douche, Izzy. I love to please you and I love making you feel good... not dirty and ashamed. I don't want you to ever feel that way with me, okay?"
I nodded, kissing him slowly, the soft gentle brush of our tongues lingering in each other's mouths.
I pulled back, staring at him, wrapping my legs around him in the big comfy bed we were currently laying in.
I bit my lip, watching every twitch of his skin as I breathed him in, the way his eyes burned with love for me, and how his hair messily covered the pillow, his hands moving and rubbing at my body making me feel good.
And then I smiled.
"What's going on in that head of yours, hm?" Harry asked, our foreheads barely touching.
"Nothing much... Oh, there's one thing actually."
"Yeah? What's that?"
"Just that, there's this boy... technically he's a man, but there's this amazing man who taught me how to keep feeling the butterflies over and over again... the way he laughs makes me smile, the way he talks gives me those pesky little butterflies, and everything about him makes me so, so happy."
"Must be some guy," Harry responded, "Be sure to tell him that more often, guys like slushy stuff too... they're just not man enough to admit it sometimes."
"I'll keep that in mind," I whispered, smiling as I brought him closer to me; "I love you, so much Harry... there's this place in me, where your fingertips still rest..."
I touched his fingertips softly.
"...where your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo... it's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me. Always."
Harry smiled, his jaw tightening which made his dimples pop.
"Y'know," he said softly, "Missing you is like my hobby, caring for you is my job, making you happy is my duty... but loving you Izzy, it's my life."
I groaned, rocking my head back to the pillow.
"You always do that, you always beat me and say cute shit like that, and it drives me nuts cos I'm so not romantic like you with words- and I try, but you always pull out the big guns and-"
"Izzy?"
"What, Harry?" I pouted, trying my hardest not to laugh as he grinned at me.
"Shut the fuck up and kiss me."