Marbella was a magnet for wealth and glamour- and not the understated kind.
It was basically a town for show offs and you definitely don't dress to please yourself there; and everything, everywhere is all about being seen in the right places at the right time by the right people.
But if you like a bit of glitz, fantastic clubs and bars, very pretty people-watching and you're more at home in a designer kaftan than cut-offs, Marbella is the smartest place to party on the Costa del Sol.
Which is where we were going for Phoebe's hen party- and it was all booked and paid for on my credit card.
I didn't even think about it, I just booked it all and emailed the guest list that Phoebs had given me before hand with a price range asking of just under £200 (with Phoebs not included obviously, as she was the bride).
Unlike a lot of the Costa del Sol, Marbella has always taken care of itself, according to a website I had researched for destinations- and it was the resort every other resort wants to be: sleek, modern and glamorous but with a heart of traditional Andalusian charm and prettiness that you just can't fake.
The beaches were beautiful and well-kept, promenades going on for miles lined with palm trees and lush, exotic plants- and cleanliness?
Marbella's default position, where pristine white is the predominant colour on everything from architecture to bikinis- works with a tan and says 'rich'', even if you're not.
It was big enough to be interesting but just the right size for exploring, so it was easy to see why Marbella is the star of Spain's most famous coastline.
And I was making sure I was sending my best friend off in style, whether she liked it or not.
Marbella at a glance has a 27km of coast divided into 24 different beaches, the town is just 56km from Malaga Airport and Marbella itself was in Andalusia, one of the loveliest and most historic Spanish regions.
Marbella lies against the backdrop of the dramatic Sierra Blanca where we would find some of Spain's prettiest Pueblo Blanca (white villages, in English) and according to one website, Puerto Banus in Marbella is one of the most exclusive yacht marinas in Europe- and we couldn't miss out on that.
On our weekend away, I made sure there were a number of things to do if certain individuals didn't want to just spend their time getting pissed all weekend.
So I did a little research on things not to miss, duh as the Neuva Andalusia Market.
It was a flea market, next to the Puerto Banus bullring, that was open every Saturday from 9am to 2pm.
There was also the Playa Nueva Andalusia, because apart from the Marina, it was this string of gorgeous, white beaches that score Puerto Banus top marks in the celebrity glamour stakes.
We could go for champagne beach bars, lay around on luxurious sun loungers, and there were miles of flawless sand and plenty of opportunities to see and be seen.
There were wine and tapas bike tours to be taken, a non-strenuous way to try two of Marbella's specialities, fantastic tapas and wonderful wine, and we could get to explore the town centre at our own pace too.
It sounded perfect, and like a dream.
I had also researched some of the best cocktail bars in Marbella, The Champagne Room being one of them.
It was sleek, decadent and very popular with Marbella 'society', whatever that meant.
The Champagne Room apparently recreates the atmosphere of an exclusive 60s cocktail lounge but it stays open late and lets you dance- and judging by Phoebe's love of dancing and my love of staying up late drinking myself stupid, it was the most perfect club I could think of.
There was also a place called Lemmon, which describes itself as flexible and fun- two key ingredients that we needed for a hen party.
It was one of Marbella's longest running late-night bars, it has an amazing outdoor terrace, two bars and a dancefloor that all makes it perfect for a girls' night out- but good for a quiet drink too apparently, which we wouldn't be needing.
Also on my hit list was a place called Sinatras, which was an iconic bar that had been around in Puerto Banus since 1977.
The name might be a throwback but the bar isn't, and judging by reviews online, it was always busy and right on the marina so a favourite pre-club bar for the Puerto Banus 'set' to see and be seen.
Notebook in hand, I flicked through the page of handwritten clubs in Marbella that were apparently the best in the business.
There was Sala Beach, Nikki Beach, Ocean Club Marbella, Sleek and Seven to check out- all places I had written the websites down so I could research them more extensively as time brought us closer to the hen party.
And it was then, that I stopped to breathe and the reality of tonight hit me like a repetitive punch to the face.
"Don't wait up." were his words, right before he hung up on me, cutting me off without even so much as explaining himself or reassuring me.
At first, I was angry- like piss fire breathing dragon angry.
And then I cried, I let out every ounce of emotion I had held in since I could remember.
I had been so strong lately, fighting my feelings because I was so scared of falling back into my deep, dark circle of depression.
I had spent much of my time focusing on Harry, helping him through his anger issues and of course what we were going through personally, that tonight was the first time that I had properly cried for myself since the night we had actually lost Oscar.
Tonight was the first time that I thought of me for a change and the fact that he wasn't here to comfort me like he always was, made me resent him a little- and a part of me hated him for that.
Closing my notepad and laptop, I sniffed and wiped at my face furiously, despising the way I was feeling right now.
How could he even do that to me, knowing what today had brought us?
How could he even treat me like that, my kind, gentle loving boyfriend that was always there to make things better and go away?
How could he see fit that it was okay for him to be in a room with an ex who was only interested in his name and not him as a person?
How could he even say I was jealous and that he wasn't "doing this right now" because it was embarrassing?
Is that how he saw me, his girlfriend and mother of his son, an embarrassment?
How could he even hang up on me?
How could he do that to me?
I sniffed louder, pushing the notepad and laptop backwards, dragging myself up from the chair and into the kitchen towards the fridge.
And Kenny??
Fucking Kenny??
Is that what he always did, break our main names down into nicknames, so it was a touching keep sake of what he shared with each woman he slept with?
And the fact he still called her that now made me want to throw myself into a pack of hungry lions.
Maybe I was jealous, or maybe I was just a devastated girl who needed her boyfriend in the midst of such a personal heartbreak.
Grabbing the bottle of vodka from the cupboard, I unscrewed the cap and emptied a good dollop of it into a glass, knocking a shot down to the back of my throat quickly.
I coughed, hell I wheezed even, but it felt good... it felt good to feel the liquid burn down my throat and pour into my empty stomach, rushing directly and straight into my blood stream.
Fucking Kenny?
"Yeah. She's in London, so stopped by to say hi. We've been hanging out, at the studio-"
"I bet she wanted to say fucking hi!" I muttered venomously to myself; pouring myself another drink, only this time I pulled out the orange juice and helped myself to a vodka and orange.
A sudden dark, horrific feeling came over me and it made me want to be sick once again.
My skin was crawling at the thought of it, but in my mind, as a girl who was questioning everything- what if there was some truth in it?
What if he was sleeping with her?
Is that why he couldn't sleep with me?
I felt sick, choking on my own sob and vodka combined, my mind becoming twisted with haunted with images of them together- before and after me.
Did he prefer her?
Was she better in bed than me?
She was slim, had no ounce of fat on her body, no stretch marks and certainly no wobbly bits.
She was everything that I wasn't, and it made me cringe to my core to even think that, but it was the truth.
I had a little fat on my stomach, hell my hips too, I had stretch marks on my stomach, my thighs and the back of my knees; and I certainly had wobbly bits... but I was okay with them, they were apart of me and Harry loved me just the way I was- right?
No, Harry wouldn't sleep with her.
He would never cheat, he was incapable of cheating- his own mother had told me that back at her place when he first took me back to Holmes Chapel.
Had she been there, to Anne's home?
To Holmes Chapel?
I couldn't stop thinking about the contrast between the two of us.
We were oh so different, and even though I trusted Harry 100% (there really was no denying the trust I had for him, because he had given me no reason to question his loyalty to me what so ever) I was still insanely annoyed- and jealous.
As a woman, how could I not be?
She was everything that I wasn't, and I couldn't help but be annoyed at his naivety.
I mean, did he honestly believe that she just wanted to "hang out" as she was in London?
I don't care what anyone says, no girl (or boy, for that matter) wants to "hang out" with their ex- who on their right mind would want to do that unless they wanted something out of it?
And why now, after all this time?
She knew Harry was with me, the press articles and the announcement of our relationship on both of our Instagram accounts was enough confirmation, so why now all of a sudden did she want to just "hang out" with my boyfriend?
Sighing furiously, I rubbed at my head and pushed myself to think more clearly, and not as a pissed off woman who wanted to rip out the ex girlfriend's fake hair extensions, ram them down her throat and force her to shit them out.
Brutal thinking, but it was the truth.
I couldn't and wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her, and the fact that Harry was sat in a studio with her made me feel sick to my core.
He was too easy sometimes, saw the best in everybody and wanted to please everyone.
I honestly truly believed that this had been scheduled studio time, but he had been ambushed with her perfectly timed "I'm here in London and wondered if you fancied hanging out?" speech.
Harry could never say no, he disliked hurting people and their feelings.
It just wasn't in his nature to say "no" to people, and that's what often got him into trouble.
Downing another vodka and orange drink, I gasped at how strong I had made it, when I came to a decision almost immediately in my thoughts.
No man would hang up on me, no man would treat me the way that I had been treated- and no man would ever make a mug out of me, whether he meant to or not- even if he was Harry bloody Styles.
Sniffing, I mentally pulled myself together and put away the vodka.
I wasn't that person, turning to alcohol whenever things for tough, and I wasn't going to start becoming her either.
Then, I walked into the front room where I had left my phone with the notepad and laptop; and picked it up noticing I had no new text messages or calls from Harry.
That was a kick to the teeth, my heart and my gut altogether.
Before I even realised what I was doing, I had unlocked my phone and was dialling the number I needed and wanted.
I waited with bated breath, my chest tightening by the millisecond.
I felt broken, emotionally wrecked and ruined by today's and tonight's events.
There was only one person in the world that I wanted that could comfort me in a way that only she could.
She could hold me and wipe my tears away, reassuring me the way that she was supposed to, but she was dead and six feet underground, and there truly wasn't a time in my life where I wanted my mother more than ever than I did right now.
But I couldn't have her, so I called my substitute instead.
"Izzy? Sweetheart? Are you there?"
I hadn't noticed that she had answered, and her warm, motherly voice in the form of her thick Cheshire accent that resembled so much to Harry's, made me weak at the knees and want to cry into an oblivion.
"Izzy, darling what's wrong?"
My emotions got the better of me, and even though I tried to stop myself from crying; I couldn't.
I was officially a broken woman.
"Izzy, what's he done?" was all that she said, a heavy sigh following her question.
It was in that moment that the floodgates opened- and I found myself opening up to the person who had the role of being my boyfriend's mother and had taken on the role of being my substitute mother as well.
***
I sighed, brushing my fingers on my cheek to wipe off whatever was annoying me.
I felt it again, the soft tingle on my cheek as I woke from my sleepy, slightly drunken slumber.
Exhaustion, that's all that came to my hazy mind, utter exhaustion.
The warmth of the bed had enveloped me in a cocoon like state and I could barely lift myself up from it as I sleepily gazed at the clock glaring back at me.
It read 3.17am.
I was laying on my front, my head smashed into the gorgeous silk pillow that clouded my sense of thought when I suddenly felt movement beside me.
Turning my head, I saw that Harry was leaning behind me, still fully clothed, his finger now lingering along the crevice of my collar bone.
"I didn't mean to wake you, I'm sorry." He murmured, as my eyes returned to the clock once again.
3.18am.
I didn't say anything, I simply just turned my back on him and tried to go back to sleep.
This could wait until the morning.
"My mum called me tonight."
Again, I said nothing.
"Gave me a proper bollocking. Haven't been yelled at like that since I was a kid..." Harry nervously trailed on, "Izzy?"
I stayed still, feeling my eyes brim with sleepy tears.
I tugged at the duvet to bring it over me, as if to protect myself from further harm, when he suddenly angled himself over me.
His hand was firmly pressed on my hip, while his right arm buried itself under my neck and head, his hand holding me there firmly.
I had no energy to fight him, seriously.
"Nothing happened. Or was going to happen with her, I promise. On my life, on yours... Nothing happened, Izzy."
That is not the problem or issue here, Harry.
"I understand why you reacted the way you did and how it made you feel, and I'm sorry I made you feel like that. It was never my intention and I had hoped that you would have known by now after Ryan that I would never intentionally hurt you again, Izzy- not like that, anyway."
Got a funny way of showing it.
"Look, I know what you're thinking, mum told me... I guess I just never thought of it that way, and now I know how it came across to you... I'm sorry, okay? But I have nothing to hide Izzy, and I'm not lying to you about anything. I promise."
Then why?
"I was genuinely going to the studio today, just to hang with Julian. I told you that beforehand, we were just going to get creative and figure out how to get my juices flowing again... I needed and wanted to write, I've wanted to do it for a while but just never got the inspiration- until today."
Because Oscar came home?
"I'm a writer, I use that as my outlet more than talking sometimes... it's one of my many bad traits. I just shut off and write, but I realise now that my place should have been with you tonight, as Oscar came home. I just didn't think Izzy, and I hate myself for it." He explained gently, his voice cracking at the emotion.
I stayed silent, still.
"Mum said the studio could have waited, and she was right. I didn't have to say anything at all really, but you needed me and I failed you... You could have done all the talking and I should have listened, I should have been here with you, supporting you and being with you, but I wasn't. Trust me, nobody hates me more than me right now."
I swallowed, hard.
Staring at the clock again, it read 3.20am and I couldn't help but wonder how it had ever come to this.
"Ken- Kendall was with Jeff, on business. He represents her too, and they were in London. It was Jeff's idea to come to the studio and they just turned up out of nowhere, I couldn't exactly turn them away now could I? Jeff is my friend and... well, yeah. You know about her. And after Julian left, that's when Jeff approached me about signing with him, and all of that happened about the US... I don't know why he was doing that, offering me a contract while she was there because it put me in a really awkward position, it was unprofessional for a start- but I made it quite clear that I couldn't discuss this without discussing it with you first."
I still stared at the clock, a hundred and one questions rushing through my head.
Everything that had happened tonight was down to miscommunication and timing, and of course, but I was still angry.
"Maybe because he knows it's good for business that you two are seen together, and represented by the same person." I finally said, finding my voice through the dry cracks in my throat; "Think what that would do for him, as a business man."
"I know." Harry guiltily said, "And that's why I'm not signing with him, because that's exactly what he wanted from me. He propositioned me about going on a family vacation- and inviting her along for the ride. Then, to make it look more authentic, Jeff and his girlfriend Glenne was going to join us, and some other people- so it would look like we were all together, but we weren't. And he didn't want you there... it was a sham from the start."
I turned, my shoulder hitting his chest as I stared up at him in disbelief.
"What?"
"I know." Harry swallowed, "It's awful, but I'm not signing with him." He said softly, his voice melting me to my core; "After tonight, and after speaking with my mum, I realised that it was his plan all along... to get her and I in the press together once again. Being seen with me will give her more of a name and profile for herself, and to promote her bloody show with her car crash sisters. I don't want that anymore, I had enough of that while in One Direction- I've had enough of being used for other people's benefit. I want a clean slate and I want to be honest with everyone Iz. I told him to stick it, because I wasn't prepared to put you through that- never mind myself."
"What did he say?" I asked warily, my curiosity getting the better of me.
"Said I was being stupid, but I don't care. I'd rather be stupid than lose you... nothing is worth losing you over." He said, his eyes meeting mine slowly; "I don't even know what I'm doing yet Iz, I just know that I want to be with you... I want to be with you, focus on us for a bit, enjoy that bit of free time before I decide to do anything."
I felt elated, even though he hadn't even discussed this whole nightmare with Jeff and Kendall with me properly, my veins were filled with such an insane surge of pride that I felt like I was going to explode.
"You stood up for yourself, for the first time ever." I whispered, taking the opportunity to welcome him into my arms; "I'm so proud of you, Harry."
"And that's another thing, I'm only doing that now because of you. You make me tougher, you make me stronger, you make me stand up for myself... you just make me better, Iz." He murmured, "And I'm just truly sorry, baby for tonight. Really. I never meant to hurt you..."
"Harry, you hung up on me." I said croakily, "Why?"
"I didn't want us to fight," he explained gently, "Not in front of them, not after I said all those things about being with you and that we were stronger than ever. I knew that if one of us didn't hang up, we would argue and they would think sceptically of us and I couldn't have that. Plus, neither of us were in a good frame of mind for that... I'm sorry it was brash, but I think if I hadn't, it would have made things a lot worse."
"And I really embarrassed you?" I tearfully asked, his hand now cupping my face as he pressed his forehead against mine.
"No, baby. You didn't. I just... I wasn't thinking before I spoke and I'm sorry for putting that thought process into your head. That was a dick move. I could never and would never be embarrassed of you, it was just... a spur of the moment thing. I had them both staring at me while we were on the phone and I just felt awkward, and on the spot. I had to do something to halt the pending fight, I'm really sorry."
I nodded, tearfully, a part of me accepting his explanation.
I was still feeling pretty raw from the whole thing and as we were now laying on our bed, the both of us now cuddling and wrapped up safely in each other's arms, I felt content that he was telling me the truth.
"I need to get out of these clothes before I fall asleep," he murmured, and so I sucked in my upper lip, nibbling on it slightly as I nodded against him, letting him go from my grip.
Harry pulled back slowly, his hands tugging at his t-shirt and pulling it over his head before throwing it to the floor.
He then aimed for his jeans, unbuckling and stripping them off, and I never, not once took my eyes off him.
Even though it was dark, I had forgotten to close our bedroom curtains, so the late night illuminating light from outside was dancing around the room.
Harry paused lightly, his eyes watching me as he lowered himself back onto the bed wearing just his boxers, feeling the pressure of it creak under his knee as he got in and laid back beside me.
My back was pressed up against his chest, and a part of me wondered if I wanted to lay like this for a second before I decided to act on impulse and just do it.
So I did.
I slowly turned myself over, so I was now facing him, and lowered my head against the curve of his shoulder, my arm now draped around his middle as he began to play with my hair.
"You're wearing your ring-" Harry suddenly said, the tremble in his voice quite clear; "You opened the box?"
"I'm sorry." I finally said, "I just... wanted comfort, and after I spoke to your mum, I decided that this was the only way... So I opened it and put it on. Do you mind?" I winced, hating how this sounded out loud.
"Izzy, of course I don't mind. It's yours." He murmured, just as I bit my lip hard; "I'm just more annoyed at myself that you were alone doing this... that you opened it up because of me."
"Don't be." I whispered, "It's done now. None of it matters anymore, Harry. I'm sorry too."
"What do you have to be sorry for? You've done nothing wrong, baby."
"For being a jealous girlfriend..." I muttered defensively, "I'm not normally one... but tonight I exceeded all expectations. I just felt... I don't know, unsure maybe? I was unsure because she was around you. I started questioning certain things."
"Like what?" He asked, his fingers now tracing little circles on my upper back; as the scent of his smell filled me as I neared him.
It made my heart flutter being so close to him again after being away for a couple of hours, I'd missed him so much.
"Just... girl stuff, y'know." I murmured, "I was being silly, it doesn't matter."
"Were you comparing yourself to her?" Harry asked bluntly, "Because if you were, you honestly don't need to be. She is nothing compared to you, Izzy. She's self centred, egotistical, bratty... I mean I get on with her because it's just my nature to stay friends with people, but she's nothing compared to you, baby. Nothing."
"Do you really mean that?" I asked him tearfully, "Because she's beautiful, Harry and is nothing like me, she has contacts, and money and-"
"She's not as beautiful as you." He interrupted, "I love you for you, and I love you for your heart. It wasn't your looks that attracted me to you Izzy when we first met, it was your fire... and your need to fight. I fell in love with your personality first, and then your beauty. Do you honestly think I care about contacts and money?" He asked me, "Because I don't. Kendall is just... that. Beautiful, but not exciting. She could barely hold a conversation with me, so why do you think it never lasted? I hate to say it, and I don't want to upset you because I'm being straight forward- but it was just sex, and that's all it ever would be."
I nodded, "Harry-"
"She never made me feel the way that you do, she never made my heart race or my tummy full with butterflies, she never excited me and I don't just mean the obvious, but I mean in all aspects. She never kissed me the way that you do and she never made love to me like you do, none of them did... and you gave me something that none of them ever could or can, you gave me our son- and that's something that nobody, not even them can take away from you Izzy. It's just you, always. It will always be you, baby."
I stared at him, utterly breathless from his words.
I hummed quietly, flinching as his fingertips danced lightly over my warm flesh.
He moved from the side of me and gently laid slightly above me, noticing that I was wearing nothing but one of his old tatty shirts and my knickers.
"I love you, Isabelle."
It was the only time I accepted his full use of my name.
"I love you, Harry." I whispered, my hands now clutching at his face as he leaned forward to kiss me.
I exhaled slowly, turning my body as Harry's knees came either side of mine as he lay above me, his hands pushing the shirt I was wearing upwards around my waist.
His muscular body was warm against mine and the weight of him on me was extremely comforting.
I couldn't help but groan quietly as his hands began to caress and sooth my flesh, making me relax and take a deep breath as his hands moved all over me.
I shut my eyes, concentrating on Harry's fingers as they slid over the crescents of my cheeks on my backside before brushing over the tops of my thighs.
He was so close and my heart began to beat heavily against my chest, pumping blood right to my core.
"Can I...?" he breathlessly asked, the tips of his fingers now ridging upon the hem of my underwear.
I nodded slowly, giving him permission to pull them down, just as he hummed softly in response as I parted my legs for him.
I gasped the second his fingers slipped between my legs, softly rubbing, teasing and stroking me, inhaling sharply as he gently pushed his finger inside of me.
Then his hands were back on my cheeks and massaging them softly for a while, before sliding his fingers back between my legs.
I kept my eyes shut, letting my body absorb each ounce of pleasure that he was giving me; listening to his breathing deepen as I grew restless beneath him.
"I love you, baby." he whispered, pushing another finger inside of me; "I love you more than you'll ever possibly know..."
I moaned quietly and felt him slide up against me, our bed now full of limbs and tangled sheets as our legs locked together.
I took hold of the pillow and sheet beside me, feeling his mouth at the side of my ear, one hand on my breast while his other fingered me slowly.
His thumb played with my clit with such ease, I exhaled his name as he took me to a place that made me feel beautiful and alive.
"Harry..."
"Hmmm..." he mumbled, feeling his teeth suck at my shoulder blade, his entire body controlling mine; "I love it when you moan my name..."
His fingers were deliciously warm and thick, as Harry kept them flat and circled them slowly against my slick, turned on flesh.
Keeping my legs apart, Harry's eyes were firmly on me, watching my every reaction and move.
Witnessing the flicker in my eyes when he used his index and ring finger to spread me open a little further, Harry allowed his middle finger to flick continuously over my sensitive clit, causing me to gasp and moan.
"Harry..." I breathed, sucking in what breath I could get, my back arching against him.
I swivelled my hips, rolling them forward as I felt his fingers curling inside me, lightly tapping the spot that made me go completely weak.
"Shhh..." he soothed, "Just feel it with me, baby. Just feel it." he murmured in my ear, as I squirmed beneath him, whimpering with soft little pants.
"Harry, you're going to make me come-"
"That's the idea, Izzy..." he murmured, the heel of his hand now hitting my clit as he pumped his fingers harder and faster in a quick rhythm that had me addicted; "You gonna come for me, Iz?"
I nodded, knowing exactly what was going to happen if he continued.
I gyrated against his working hand, groaning as my muscles tightened and tensed, knowing that I was close to coming.
I could feel everything tightening around his fingers, my body getting increasingly more wet for him as his mouth latched onto my neck, nibbling and sucking there, his other hand now holding me down at my waist.
"Harry..." I breathed, "Mmmm, fuck... don't stop. Please don't stop, baby... Oh, fuck that feels so good."
"Come for me, Izzy." He murmured.
"Shit!" I cried, tugging at his body tightly.
Feeling the heat that his body was exhuming onto mine, I shook violently as he finally made me come, hard and fast, my orgasm speeding through my entire body.
I couldn't help but smirk, biting my lip as Harry twitched, his erection poking me through his boxers as he continued to lay above me.
The both of us kissed madly as we massaged each other's tongues in the midst of my blissful orgasm, becoming more faster and urgent.
I remembered how I had felt during our last time together, at the hotel, and how happy it made us both knowing that we had finally done something and let our inhibitions go since the miscarriage- and now I felt like I was on top of the world.
Everything that had happened earlier just literally disappeared, because I couldn't think about anything other than his words, his promise, his kiss and the way he was making me feel- it all seemed so silly and insignificant now.
He loves me.
"Izzy..." he murmured against my mouth, his breath hot against my slick flesh; "Baby, I really want to-"
"Tonight?" I asked breathlessly, as he grinded his hips into me, pressing his straining hard on between my legs; "You want to have sex- are you sure, Harry?"
He nodded, our fingers now intertwining softly, his breath literally panting into my mouth.
"I want to... I really want to make love." he groaned, his hand now stroking at my hip; "Can we? Please? If you're ready?"
"Are you ready?" I asked, staring him deadly in the eye; "I don't want us to rush this..."
"I'm sure baby, I just want to be with you... I want us to be like we were before, and I want to make love to you, endlessly... I want you to know that I'm madly in love with you, and only you."
I stared at him, feeling the intensity inside my chest as my heart began to hammer against my rib cage incredibly hard.
Grasping at his cheeks, I pulled him closer towards me and kissed him, Harry's own hands resting on my hips.
Moving my hands from his face, I ran them slowly down from his neck to towards his chest, smoothing my palms over his soft, inked skin as he lay above me.
We paused, bumping heads gently, our eyes locked on one another.
"I need you," I whispered breathlessly, "Make love to me, Harry."
I needed him inside me, so badly, the thought of literally being so close to having him made me want to cry.
"I need you too." he breathed, slowly pulling his boxers down his thighs; "I'll always need you, Izzy."
And with that, I gasped tearfully, feeling him finally slide into me, my eyes still locked onto Harry's face, his own eyes gazing back at me as he pushed his way in slowly, filling me completely.
I was trembling, my legs like jelly as I somehow managed to wrap them around his waist, resting the balls of my feet just above his bum.
Our lips met once again as we slowly moved together, completely re-connected and completely and utterly back together as one again.
Harry kissed me, and I felt every ounce of my fibre burn within me.
I moaned into his kiss, feeling him lay me back down to the mattress as his weight suddenly pressed against my body.
Feeling his arm snake under my back, Harry held me close to his body as I felt him lightly touch and caress my breast and nipple with his other hand, and it felt so insanely good.
I flinched, grasping at the sheet beneath me, closing my eyes.
"Isabelle..." He whispered, and I clasped my hand against his cheek, wanting to concentrate on nothing but him right now; "Open your eyes and look at me," Harry whispered, "Keep your eyes on me, baby."
"I-I-I can't..." I stammered, as he held me closer; "Jesus... I've missed you, Harry. I've missed you so much."
Harry leaned forward and held my head, moving his hips at a slow, delicious pace and began kissing me to distract me.
"I've missed you too, baby."
My hands grasped his hair urgently and I pulled him even closer, if that were even possible.
I sucked hard on his tongue and then ran my own up and down his lips, enjoying his moans as he quivered at my touch.
Harry hugged me tightly to his body as he moved slowly inside me, every move he was making felt utterly incredible.
Eventually the kiss became less hurried and more gentle, more affectionate, until panting loudly, he pulled away from me.
"Holy shit," he moaned, "You okay?"
I nodded once more.
"Izzy," he whispered, "Baby..."
"Stop talking, Harry." I panted, as I felt him move more; "Hooooly shit, you feel so good."
Harry grabbed my head, before leaning down and greedily pushing his lips against mine.
Unlike previous kisses, this one wasn't fuelled by sexual desire, boredom, happiness or sheer desperation.
This kiss was fuelled by the unquenchable desire to demonstrate the depth of our affection for each other, and I'd never felt more in love doing it.
"You're so beautiful," Harry murmured, as his kisses peppered hotly across my skin.
My hands tugged at his hair as I panted, moaning and writhing beneath him, as I couldn't help but wonder what the hell was happening to me as he moved a little more.
His hair was sticking to his forehead already and he moved closer, moving his hands to my hips.
I couldn't help but groan at the pressure of my nipples and breasts now rubbing against his chest, just as his hands moved around me and lower until they gripped my top thighs and backside hard.
"Mmmmm, Harry.... " I groaned, as I wrapped my arms around his neck, staring at him; "You feel so amazing inside me." I breathed.
"I can't get over how tight you are," he breathed, "Fuck..." he groaned.
I hissed and pinched at his arm, his bicep bulging as he continued to move and thrust into me.
"You okay?" He asked quietly, "Baby?"
"I think so..." I whispered, "A little slower? Please?"
Harry nodded, and completely slowed down, easing himself out of me before gently dipping straight back into me.
I had to admit, every time he did that and he groaned, it was hot as hell and I tried to concentrate on his voice alone, but I couldn't.
I was feeling absolutely everything.
"I can't get enough of you," he whispered hoarsely in my ear, moving on to the sweet area behind it, licking and sucking my lobe as he nipped and grazed at my neck and jawline to the other side and repeating the journey there; "I love you, Izzy."
Each assault sent heat waves down my body and my legs almost rebelled, so I did the only thing I could think of- I lifted my hips and wrapped my legs tighter around Harry's waist... and I thought I was going to pass out.
"Holy shit, that's so good...." I cried against him, panting hard, my breathing coming out in gasps against Harry's lips; "I love you too, I love you so much..."
"Oh my God, you're perfect." he whispered with a low moan, as he lowered his head towards my chest and took one of my nipples into his mouth.
Harry licked round the edge of it with his tongue, gently pulling and sucking; before moving on to the other one, giving it the same measure of adoration.
I gasped involuntarily and arched towards him, wanting more.
A lot more.
Harry rained kisses on me, lunging his tongue into my mouth hungrily, holding my face in his hands.
I moaned and bucked under him as he pounded insistently slowly into me; and I literally felt as if my entire body was on fire.
I could barely take in each new sensation.
"Oh..... my..... God.......... unhh........ Harry!"
I looked up at him as he worked over me and I could see his eyes were now shut: his expression was one of pure animal pleasure, but with an almost blissful smile on his face.
My heart, was being battered into smithereens, I was sure.
My hips would surely have been dislocated by now, and so I revelled in the new found strength and pleasure that I'd never experienced before, bringing it to Harry as well as myself.
His enjoyment fuelled my own desire and I let out another loud moan as his thrusting increased in speed and intensity even further.
He briefly looked down at me, saw my own want of him, even through my hazel eyes, and he reached forward, bending me nearly double, to kiss me roughly as we raced towards the inevitable crescendo of our union.
"So fucking good," he groaned, "So fuckin' tight and warm... fuck. You're coming baby," Harry whispered, "I can feel you all around me... tightening... let it go-"
"I can't... not without you," I cried, as I pierced my nails into his arms, before he brought me up closer towards him so I was now literally sat upon his lap.
With his eyes on mine, he began moving once more.
He was slow to begin with, but soon began moving with much more fervour and conviction, knocking the breath out of me.
I gripped onto him, pulling my hips upwards to meet his as I locked my ankles behind his back.
Harry kissed me hard, panting and sighing breathlessly as sweat began to seep from his pores.
Pushing his damp curls from his forehead, I moved my hands down his back and scratched my nails down it, feeling his tense muscles move and flex beneath my palms.
As I sat above him, I felt my climax began to rouse.
Having him in front of me- sweating, breathless and groaning- was so erotic that I could probably have orgasmed from the sight alone.
"I need you to come for me, Izzy," he panted, his grip on the back of my neck became tighter.
I was almost there.
I was hot and tight, and fuck I was going to break in half if he carried on.
"Come with me," I sighed, pleading desperately.
"Can I come inside you or...?"
We had forgotten, again, that we were doing this without any form of protection once more.
Seeing the flicker of apprehension on my face, Harry kissed me.
"It's okay, baby. Whatever you want."
I bit my lip, "Not tonight, Harry." I breathed, as he simply nodded against me.
"Okay, baby." he replied, "Just tell me when."
He pinned his forehead against mine, investing the entirety of his weight into each thrust, never missing a beat.
It was impossible not to look him straight in the eyes as he took my body to another level.
Being that close and connected to him again was one of the most incredible and powerful feelings in the world.
Harry lead the way, holding my hips firmly as he helped and guided me to bounce slowly, holding onto him as my arms tightened around his neck.
I felt his mouth against my shoulder, just as I arched my back, seeing sparks of light exploding in my head as warmth flooded between us.
I felt my muscles contract about his cock, and I knew I was literally seconds away as our lips finally met.
I groaned, moaning his name into his mouth as he made me come again.
"Holy fuck.... Harry.... now."
As I finished clenching and spamming around him, moaning his name over and over, he gently pushed me back down onto the bed and finally pulled out, letting himself go.
He came furiously hard as his entire body tensed and trembled in front of me.
Harry continued to hold himself above me, spurts of his orgasm hitting various places on my body as his curls brushed against my forehead, moving his hips slowly, until he was completely done.
I couldn't breathe, and as soon as he had finished, I felt my muscles relax but burn constantly.
We did it.
"Again, nobody has ever made me feel like that." he gradually strangled out, the two of us landing in a heap in our bed; "I love you, so much Izzy."
"Come here." I whispered, wrapping my arms around him as we kissed once again; "I love you. So much."
Harry smiled, rubbing the ridge of his nose against mine softly.
"I love you. Too much."