"I've wanted to kiss you all night", Haechan admits when he and Jaemin are alone.
"I wanna kiss you too", Jaemin mumbles, not having the heart to be flirty.
It catches Jaemin off-guard when Haechan drags him to the couch, moves onto his lap, and goes for his neck, but he doesn't mind it. Especially because he doesn't have to do anything, so he can just overthink himself to sadness.
"You look so hot in this", Haechan mumbles against his neck.
"How do you think I feel about you?"
If Haechan notices that Jaemins heart isn't fully in it, he doesn't show it, just continuing to kiss every area of skin he can reach.
When Haechan kisses Jaemin and realizes most of the energy is coming from him, he knows something's wrong.
"What is it?" He asks.
"Hm?"
Haechan moves off of Jaemins lap and over to the side of him. He pulls Jaemin into his arms, feeling concerned when the boy doesn't relax against him like he usually does.
"Did I do something?"
Jaemin shakes his head, even though his mind is coming up with answers.
"I think it's just me", he says after a minute.
"Talk to me."
"It's...hard to explain, it's fine."
"Fine?"
"Let's just not talk about it right now."
"Are you sure?"
Jaemin nods. He looks up at Haechan and hates himself for wanting to kiss him. Ignoring everything else, he pulls him in for a kiss, trying to let himself pretend that he's happy with just this.
Like before, Haechan can tell Jaemin's not fully in it and pulls away again but this time, he chooses not to talk and just cuddles Jaemin, hoping he's okay.
➳
Haechan
Can you check on Jaemin?
My Love #1
Yes but why?
Haechan
I think something happened yesterday
He seems sad and he won't talk about it
My Love #1
And you have absolutely no idea why?
Haechan
It did cross my mind that I did
something but if I did, I have no idea
what
Jaemin said it wasn't me but I'm not
sure to believe him
My Love #1
Stop doing that thing where you
blame yourself for everything
Haechan
What if it actually is my fault?
My Love #1
Don't assume it's your fault
I'll go see Jaemin and find out
DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!!!
Haechan
Yes, Jisung
My Love #1
It's so weird when you say that
Haechan
STOP THINKING WEIRD
My Love #1
I'M NOT
➳
Jaemin sits on his couch, watching TV. A knock on the door sends him panicking.
Because of his outfit.
He pulls off his cropped t-shirt and leaves it on the couch before going to the door. He looks out the peephole and sees that it's Jisung, which still keeps him a little panicked because he has evidence in plain sight.
"Is everything alright?" Jisung asks as he steps into the apartment.
"I'm fine."
"What does that mean to you?"
Jaemin stays quiet, not having a response to Jisungs question. He knows things aren't alright with him, either, but he has no reasons for why. He has no idea what's wrong.
Jisung wraps his arms around his best friend and waddles them into the living room and over to the couch. Jaemin stiffens in his arms as panic rises in him. The shirt is right there.
Don't notice it, don't notice it, don't notice it...
But of course he does.
"Is this your shirt?" Jisung asks, going over pick it up.
Jaemin looks away, not wanting to see his reaction once he realizes. Noticing how quiet it is, Jisung looks up to find his best friend silently crying. He drops the shirt and stands to hug Jaemin again.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
A few minutes pass before Jaemin speaks. With trembling lips, he points to the lump of fabric on the couch. "The shirt."
"What's wrong with it?"
"Look at it."
"What?"
Jaemin takes a shaky breath and grabs the shirt for Jisung and hands it him. Jisung flips the shirt to it's original side and holds it up. More tears fall as Jaemin watches Jisung stare at the shirt and then look at him.
"Jaemin."
"What?" Jaemin asks, almost sobbing at this point.
Jisung brings him into a hug again, holding Jaemin as tight as he possibly can. Jaemin shakes against him, trying to handle the fact that Jisung knows. Even if he hasn't said anything besides his name, he's still terrified.
"Jaemin, I love you."
"I love you too", Jaemin mumbles into his shoulder, holding Jisung equally as tight. So he doesn't leave him.
"I think you'd look great in a crop top."
"Hm?"
Jisung looks into Jaemins eyes as he says, "I'm sure you look great in crop tops."
"It's not just crop tops."
"Baby", Jisung says softly, "you're perfect. And you stay perfect, no matter what you wear. They're clothes, they're for you to express yourself. Wear whatever you want. I would never judge you."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me for being a decent person, I'm supposed to do that."
"Are you sure I won't look weird?"
Jisung reaches for the shirt and hands it to Jaemin. "Put it on."
Jaemin gives him a look but does it, feeling nervous that someone's finally seeing him in a crop top.
But Jisungs smiles makes him feel better. "You look as hot as you normally do."
"Jisung!"
Jisung chuckles. "It's true, baby, you look fantastic like I said."
"Can I show you the other ones?"
Jisung nods. "Show me whatever you're comfortable with. And remember that nothing will every get in the way of my live for you."
Jaemin nods. "Okay."
He grabs Jisungs hand and brings him into his room. He gets out all the clothes that he's hidden, surprising Jisung with his much he has.
Jaemin puts on a fashion show, getting slightly embarrassed from his best friends nonstop compliments.
Jisung gasps when he sees him in a dress. "You look gorgeous."
"I do?"
"Absolutely."
Jaemin doesn't reply but Jisung doesn't have to, recognizing the all-too-familiar look on his face. He pulls him down onto the bed and into his arms before attacking his face with kisses. Jisung smiles when he hears Jaemin giggle.
"I'm glad you're okay", Jisung tells him.
"Not fully", Jaemin admits.
"Why?"
"The more time goes on, the more I wanna tell Haechan that I'm in love with him. But I don't think he is. He can like me but it's not the same."
"How are you so sure?"
"Because I'd be able to feel it and I don't."
"Are you positive? You didn't seem to know that he likes you."
"Jisung, I can tell you love me because you show it. Even when we're just talking, I know you love me. I trust that about you. I trust that Haechan cares but it doesn't feel like he loves me like that. If he were in love with me, I'd know. Or I'd at least entertain the idea even if I thought I was wrong."
"That's not all, is it?"
Jaemin smiles slightly. "How are you so good at reading me?"
"It's pretty easy. Even when you try hiding your emotions, I can tell which ones you're trying not to show."
Jaemin nods and then sighs, thinking of what he's about to say. "It's hard. Having a...thing with three people. When I see Haechan with someone else, like when he kissed Jeno because me and Mark said it was okay, it still hurt."
"Can I make a guess?"
"Go ahead."
"Considering the fact that you're bothered by the assumption that he's not in love with you and that he's not just yours, I assume those two are related. Which makes me think that you would feel more secure in sharing him if you knew he felt the same way as you."
"It's creepy how good you are."
Jisung sighs and takes the males face into his hands to look into his eyes. "I wish you weren't hurting over this and I know you're probably torturing yourself but please remember that Haechan still likes you. And he likes you a lot, okay? Maybe he's not in love right now but it doesn't mean he won't ever be. He wants you, I promise."
Jaemin nods and looks away. He gets pulled into Jisung who kisses the top of his head.
Five minutes of silence go by and then Jisung speaks up, "Lele knows, doesn't he?"
"Hm?"
"That time he rushes out of the apartment when we were texting, it was to see you, wasn't it?"
Jaemin nods. "He brought me a shirt. A yellow cropped t-shirt that says 'I am perfect' and he just cuddled me. Taeil also knows and he gave a little bit of advice."
"What made you decide to tell them?"
Jaemins head snaps up to look at his best friend to see if he can see a hint of what he's feeling. Jisung's always been good at hiding his feelings, but Jaemin knows Jisung as well as Jisung knows him.
He grabs Jisungs face, making eye contact with him. "Remember when I came out to you? I didn't actually say the phrase 'I'm pansexual' 'cause I was too nervous. I wanted to tell you, but I was overthinking and convinced myself you might not accept me even though I was pretty sure you would. And I was just as nervous, well actually more, I think, to tell you that I'm ambiamorous."
"Okay", Jisung says slowly.
"You're my best friend and there's no one in this world I love more than you. Sometimes, it's hard to tell you new things about me, 'cause I don't wanna mess up how you see me and how much you love me. I wanted confidence to tell you so I told other people first. Lele was by accident. He was discussing his costume and said one of his options was a skirt."
Jisung nods in understanding. "That makes sense."
"I told Taeil 'cause I was scared and I'd rather him dislike me for crossdressing than you and Haechan. I need you two."
"Do you think I don't need you just as much? You never let me go a day without feeling love and you make sure I'm happy and comfortable. You're my best friend and I love you very much."
Jaemin hugs him. "We're so sappy."
"We've always been like this."
"True."
Funnily enough, before writing this chapter, I was so ready to write that NaHyuck scene at the beginning and then when I got to it, I was like "I want fluff" and like I could not bring myself to write down anything "steamier". I just really want fluff lol
Please give me some ideas for MarkMin
Also, I know I'm definitely lacking with at least one of them so who out of the four do you want more of? One of them, was it Mark, that I wrote a lot about? Idk but I wrote a lot about one of them
And now that I finally remember one of the group activity ideas I wanted to do, I'mma write that soon
So I need drinking game ideas or just whatever you want them to do while everyone is under the influence of alcohol
I think that's all so I hope you have a good day! I love you!💙💚
Not proofread❤️