Mark
Okay I'm actually starting to freak the
fuck out
Favorite Person☺️
What's going on?
Mark
The date
The first time was just awkward and I
didn't even have to do much except
have Jeno not get in a fight with
Haechan but this time the date seems
more real
And I don't know what to do about that
I'm fine with it, I want to go on the date
but I'm so fucking scared of the
possibilities and I can feel myself
starting to shut down and now I think
I'm gonna do something stupid
Favorite Person☺️
If you need space and time to think,
that's not stupid
What are you scared of? Is it just being
hurt again?
Mark
There's that which I'm always scared of
but I'm also scared that they're gonna
decide we don't work before we can
even start
I'm so fucking terrified of them breaking
my heart but I don't wanna never have
a chance either
What if I like them and they don't like
me?
I want to protect myself and just pull
away from them but I don't wanna do
that. I just want good things go
happen and that not being a
guarantee freaks me out
Favorite Person☺️
Can I ask you some questions?
Mark
Sure
Favorite Person☺️
Think about the relationships you have with them right now. Have any of them done or said anything to make you think they don't wanna give you a chance or
try dating at all?
You said you want a chance. Does you wanting a chance with them outweigh
your fear of getting hurt?
How worried are you that they
don't/won't like you?
And if it's not too much, how much of
this has to do with...your ex?
Mark
Is it bad that I'm relieved you didn't say
her name?
Favorite Person☺️
Idk, I'm petty and call my ex anything
but his name
Mark
I remember being worried about Jeno
but we're actually friends now. But
friends doesn't equal romance
I mean, on my end, it kinda does but
they could all only want to be friends
and that's fine in the long run but it
would hurt like hell right now
That solely depends on the day. Some
days I just decide I wanna keep myself
in this shell where no one can hurt me
but I know what I'm like and if I like
them enough, what I want will
outweigh fear
It also depends. Most of the time I don't
worry but then I just start thinking
and then I spiral
I've always been terrified of getting hurt.
When I dated...when we broke up, it was
basically all my fears coming true
And I hate myself for ignoring my
warning signs not to date cause I
wanted her too much
Favorite Person☺️
Mark, you never told me that last part
Mark
Really?
I thought I did
Favorite Person☺️
I don't remember
What warnings did you give yourself?
Mark
I forget but it was something like I'll like
them and they'll stop liking me, I'll fall
in love and they won't, we won't last,
they'll leave me, or just other ways they
could hurt me
Plus I feel like I'm a terrible person to
date sometimes
Favorite Person☺️
NOOO🥺
You're wonderful
I don't know a lot about your past relationship but from what you did tell
me, you seem like an awesome boyfriend
I know you so I'm not just assuming. I
know how you are and how much you
care and how much you try
She was lucky
And remember what you said one time, that it's good you know what you don't want
You just had a trial run
Mark
I'm scared of trial runs
Favorite Person☺️
Can I be honest? Me too
I'm scared all the time
When Jisung went to that festival with Haechan and Jaemin and he called me, I asked him to confirm that he wants to marry me
Not just because I like hearing that but because I needed to
I needed to know that I'm the person he wants
I trust him with my heart but I wanna protect my heart too
When I-wait does it help if I share my experience or not right now?
Mark
It's fine, go ahead
Favorite Person☺️
When I was with my ex, whatever the
hell his name was, I was the one who
loved me and felt like I had to do things
to make him love me
And sometimes he made me believe he
did but he still wanted to leave me sometimes and if it wasn't for you and
Jeno knocking sense into me, I might've dated him longer
I'm always a little scared that Jisung is gonna hurt me and wake up one day
and decide I'm not worth it
I try not to care but half the time I think
the people I love will want someone
better
Including you and Jeno
Mark
What?
I understand all that but you would
NEVER lose either of us. Me and Jeno
would fight over you, hell that's why he
didn't even like me in the first place
Favorite Person☺️
In a really messed up way that I know is fucked up, I was glad that you two
weren't close. I know I always had us all together but I liked that I was the glue so you two wouldn't just become best friends and leave me
I'm so fucking happy for you now and I don't care and it's not even my choice
but it took a while for me to be okay with the idea of you two actually having a
strong friendship
I know it's selfish
Mark
Maybe, but I get it
And Jeno probably would too
Why didn't you ever tell me you were
that scared?
Favorite Person☺️
I didn't know who to admit it to
I could tell Jisung and I do sometimes
but when I'm feeling really insecure and worried, everything sounds like bullshit
And I honestly don't know how to talk about my problems that well which is
why I only ever bring stuff up AFTER it's been bothering me and I can't hold it in anymore
Mark
Okay, we are definitely gonna talk about
this
But while having pizza, cuddled up on
your couch with YOU in my arms
I'm already coming :)
Favorite Person☺️
I love you so much😭
Mark
I love you too
➳
Mark isn't surprised when Chenle answers the door and jumps on him, looking like a sloth on a tree. Being used to this, Mark carefully makes his way in the apartment, making sure to lock the door before carrying Chenle—and everything he's holding—in the living room.
After a few minutes of cuddling, they start eating. Mark doesn't comment on his best friends silence or the fact that when he does speak, it has nothing to do with what he came over to talk about it. He understands, knowing it's so much harder to have those conversations, especially when you're not used to talking about these things.
When they're done eating and Chenle has been comfortably using Mark as a pillow for twenty minutes, he sighs.
"We can talk now."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, but can stay like this?"
Mark leans down and kisses his forehead before saying, "Sure."
"Ask away. I don't know where to start."
"You having a coping outlet right?"
"Music", Chenle replies instantly. "I'm not gonna show you so don't ask but I write songs sometimes. And it helps. I try poetry too but I suck at both."
"I'm definitely gonna bother you about that another time but I won't today."
"Thank you."
"Welcome. Now, how much does Jisung know?"
Chenle sighs. "I hate asking for reassurance sometimes. I feel like I'm...too much."
"You're not and never will be. Jisung is in love with all of you and your relationship wouldn't have gotten this far if he thought you were too much. I know that asking for reassurance can be awkward but we all need it sometimes and it's okay, you know? I'm sure Jisung would love to tell you how much he loves you at any given moment."
Mark grins at the blush on Chenles face and the giggle that escapes the male. "You might have a point."
"Just say I'm right."
"I'm right."
Mark gently slaps his shoulder, making the pinkette laugh. "Lele!"
Two quiet down, getting lost in their thoughts. Mark doesn't pressure Chenle to talk, only hoping that he'll eventually share what's on his mind.
"I still struggle to open up and sometimes it makes me scared but when I know that people love me, it makes it easier."
"Should I tell you how much I love you?"
Chenle tilts his head to look up at Mark, showing him his grin. "I'm not gonna stop you."
An entire verbal essay later, Chenle is fast sleep, happily snuggled against his best friend.
Which is not a sight Jisung expected to come home to but they do look adorable.
He grins at Mark who rolls his eyes before smiling while Jisung takes a few pictures.
"Do you want me to move him?" Jisung whispers.
"Don't you dare", The pinkette mumbles, gripping Marks shirt to prove his point.
The two chuckle at the sleepy male and look at each other in silence, wondering what to do.
"Do you want me to stay the night?" Mark asks after a while.
"If you leave, I will cry and hate you forever."
Jisung chuckles at his boyfriend and then looks at Mark. "Your clothes are clean."
"Thanks for doing my laundry."
"You're welcome", Chenle mumbles.
➳
Once they all change into sleeping clothes, the three stand in the hallway, Chenle leaning against Marks shoulder while holding Jisungs hand.
"Cuddle sandwich?" Jisung offers.
"Yep", Chenle responds, dragging the two into the bedroom. He throws himself on the bed and crawls up to the pillows and makes grabby hands.
"Jisung, you're my little spoon and Mark, I'll still yours."
"Got it", the two say in unison and then join him, Jisung in front of Chenle and Mark behind him.
Chenle gets comfortable against Mark before pulling Jisung closer and burying his face in the crook of his neck.
"I love you guys."
"We love you too."
A minute passes before Chenle sassily says, "Now give me kisses."
"Yes, your highness."
Jisung smiles at his boyfriends giggle, earning Chenle even more kisses. When they're done, they all try to sleep, all having smiles on their faces.
This is not what I meant to write but it's cute so I went with it
I kinda feel like I write fluff too much...but then I remember that there is no such thing and you all will just have to deal with this
Wholesome meme of the day:
I LOVE YOU :)
HAVE A FABULOUS DAY! YOU ARE VERY LOVED *blows kisses* 💙💚
Not proofread❤️