ok I'm sorry molly it was like very spontaneous and unplanned.
without further adieu, here is the next chapter...
༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
DEVI BHATT
The power came back one day after New Year's Day thankfully. So currently, I'm tucked under a blanket in the cinema room scrolling through Disney plus. The snow has officially disappeared after that hellish storm which is unfortunate. I kind of wanted to experience a white Christmas a little while longer.
Oh shit. Christmas. Did I miss it? Wait– did Grisha spend it alone?
I completely forgot about gifts and all that comes with Christmas. They didn't really have any decorations up but the last time I checked Feliks' room I swear I saw one of those really small pink sparkly trees which was cute.
I settled for Teen Beach Movie on disney channel to watch which is when Grisha walks in. It's the most nostalgic and amazing movie on Disney channel ever. Next to Cloud 9 and Lemonade Mouth.
I turn to face him when he sits down. "Did you spend Christmas alone?"
He pauses. "I had you."
I frown. "The living equivalent of dead me."
"To be honest, we're always so busy we never really gave any thought to it. And most of it is basically propaganda. I don't think Jesus would be impressed if he found out we celebrate his birth by telling kids a fat man in a red furry suit comes to your house through your chimney to give a gift."
I gasp. "Don't fat shame Santa Clause."
He gives me a dead look. "Fine then, morbidly obese."
I roll my eyes with a smile. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed."
"Actually I woke up with your fingers squeezing my ears half to death."
"Sorry," I cringe. "I really didn't do that on purpose, I swear."
"What were you dreaming about?"
"The seatbelt I was wearing was loose and the rollercoaster had just started. So really I was dreaming about imminent death," I give him a dashing smile. "You?"
I pull some of the blanket over his legs but it's not really big enough to cover both of our bodies. After a long twenty seconds of trying to sort the blanket for us, he tugs me onto his lap so we're facing each other. A breath gets stuck in my throat. Now the blanket covers both of us. Problem solved.
"Something else." He cocks his head.
He leans his head back onto the couch, his eyes rolling down my body then back to my eyes. His hands reach around my jaw, pulling me closer causing my hands to move up his chest.
"Should we video call the others?"
He swallows the rest of my voice with his lips. He makes my heart race until the very moment his lips touch mine– then I feel my heart sigh in content. I sink into his body, his mouth moving against mine.
My fingers curl around his shirt and in his hair, pulling his body closer. One of his hands stays wrapped around the underside of my jaw and the other trails up my thigh under the blanket. His tongue slides into my mouth, allowing me to taste him. He kisses me slow and deep, igniting something else in me.
He pulls away, his eyes not leaving my lips. "You were saying?"
I open my mouth only for nothing to come out.
He dips his head, crushing his lips back onto mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my chest against his, needing to feel as much of his body as I can. A low sound comes from his throat, as he slides his hands up my sides under my t-shirt. His thumb knowingly brushes over my tattoo, sending a shiver down my body.
It's two in the afternoon and he's already making me feel hot and heavy.
He leans forward, a hand splayed against my back, biting on my lip with his teeth. The blanket still rests on us, as if hiding us. When he leans me forward, his other hand is fisting my hair, angling my head in a way that allows him to veer his mouth off my lips and kiss down my neck.
I gasp at the feeling settling down low in my stomach.
"We need to discuss something," he says, looking at me then continuing his descent.
"And what's that?" I managed to say.
"How long are we keeping this a secret? That I'm fucking you."
Just? I chase that thought away, before it can ruin me.
"You're fucking me? I don't think so," I shake my head, biting a smile away.
"I beg to differ after these nights," he says, rough.
"Keep on begging, maybe I'll change my mind," I smirk.
His lips twist in a smirk as if he won that one. "So what does sneaking around entail?"
Before I can answer he reclines the chair and I'm not ready for that, so I fall forward. He rolls his hips up into mine, grinding himself onto me sending me into a tizzy. I can feel how hard he is between my legs and it makes me throb.
"We're not going to be sneaking around," I tell him. "We're just going to be...quieter about it."
My top is off in a flash and my arms impulsively wrap around my chest.
His eyes darken. "I don't want you to be quiet. I want to hear every sound that leaves these lips," his thumb brushes down my lower lip, "whilst I fuck these."
He cups me through the dampening fabric. And I'm utterly speechless.
"This conversation seems to be going in a completely different direction," I say, very aware of how he's looking at me right now.
"Apologies," his hands circle my hips before sliding one hand down the front of my leggings and underwear. His thumb presses against my clit and my legs tremble. "You were saying?"
His seat is reclined at a 45 degree angle giving him a splendid view of me stumbling over my words because his hand is in my underwear. His hand doesn't move and it's fucking torturous. Then it does. He raises one cocky brow as he plunges a finger into me making me drop my head into his neck and cry his name.
"I..." my trail of thought gets lost.
He grins. "That's what I thought, baby."
I arch my back, moving to the rhythm of his hand. He fingers me in the cinema room, where I hope the maids are far from today. I grind against his hand hard, my thighs slick and wet. Oh my god, the best part of this was that I wasn't expecting this
Suddenly his hand leaves my pants and I'm mourning the coming orgasm being ripped from me. Grisha slides his hands up my legs, before yanking my leggings down my legs, along with my underwear.
I scowl. "Should've done that before you–"
I don't see him lean forward and dip his head between my shaking legs and thrust his tongue into my pussy. I clutch both of the arms rests, arching my back moaning and feeling him lick me. The position we're in– my body angled upwards with him raising my legs over his shoulders, makes it even more intense.
He sucks on my clit, tugging and biting it stimulating every aroused part in my body. I gasp, feeling the wildfire he's causing inside me to run through my veins.
"I fucking love how you taste," he says, possessive as if someone is about to steal me from him.
One of his hands travelled up my back, unhooking my bra before cupping a breast in his hand. His head is buried so deep in between my legs I can feel my orgasm building up in me like suspense in a horror movie.
My orgasm rams into me like no man's business, causing my vision to blur. I'm a wet mess all over him and yet again fully naked whilst he isn't. I'm not complaining but it's truly odd.
His lips shine with my release in a smirk that I want to slap off his face. He licks his lips before kissing his way back up my body, eventually leading to my mouth. My tongue dives into his mouth, getting tangled with his, as he wraps my legs around his torso. I feel his arousal pressed up against me, begging for relief.
My phone is on the floor ringing all of a sudden, when we're about to go further. The caller ID flashes with Feliks and my face burns in embarrassment. He was definitely waiting for us to call and if I don't answer he's going to be pissed.
I look at Grisha apologetically. "He's going to be pissed if we don't answer."
...
"You sneaky little shits didn't call us. What could you guys have possibly been doing to forget to call us?" Feliks' eyes bore into mine through the camera and I feel like he can see right through me.
I almost retreat from being in his line of view in the camera. I had tossed Grisha the phone for him to answer whilst I raced to slide my clothes back on– enough to quickly cover my upper body, away from the camera of course.
"Obviously something important," Grisha says, a grin teasing his lips.
I elbow him in the ribs. "Sorry Feliks, I was just a little preoccupied before– but I swear I won't forget again." My face reddens, guilty of lying.
"What were you do–"
"Hey Devi!" Nashwa comes into view and waves happily, munching on a packet of crisps. "What are you guys up to?"
My eyes widen, and I stumble over my words. "I–uh–"
"We were watching a movie," Grisha responds, the lie falling as quick as anything.
"Hey Feliks! Give me the phone!" I hear Sasha yell from the other end.
"No, I'm talking first– don't snatch– hey–"
Sasha's face is up close to the camera, looking intensely at what I can only imagine are our faces.
"Hey Sasha," I smile, awkwardly. I'm not good with video calls, I've realised.
"Malyshka are you okay?!" she shouts, like she's some old woman trying to work a phone.
"Shit," Grisha hisses. "You don't need to shout, Sasha."
"Sorry!" she apologises with the same volume. "Are you okay Devi?"
"I'm fine," Grisha raises his hand, "just thought I'd let you know."
"Grisha shush, I'm talking to Devi," she scolds before returning to normal. "Do you feel normal now, malyshka?"
"I feel great," I reply with a thumbs up.
"It's really hot here in florida, I feel like walking around bare assed," Feliks squeezes into the camera.
Sasha turns to him. "Don't do that, otherwise you'll be ticking my trauma box."
"How long does Devi need?" Demyan asks behind the camera.
"Give it sometime," Grisha responds.
"Okay I'm taking my phone back– thank you," Feliks says, annoyed. "Okay finally."
"What are you guys up to?"
"It's like two am here–"
"What?" I gape. "Go to bed, you're going to be tired."
"Okay mom. You're one to say that. I'm always seeing you eat at this time. I'm surprised you're awake right now since you go to bed at like–"
"Okay, okay, no need to expose me," I interrupted him with a roll of my eyes.
"I think I've sorted out her sleep schedule," Grisha says, smug as fuck, slingin an arm around my shoulders.
"Yeah," I bit the inside of my cheek.
"Why are you guys sitting so close?" Demyan appears behind Feliks, scrutinising us.
"We're not sitting that close," I defend way too quickly, sitting forward away from Grisha.
Feliks' face wrinkles. "Have you even brushed your hair today? You look like a wreck."
I plaster a smile on my face, hiding from this interrogation. "Yes Feliks I have. Thank you for enlightening me."
A hand from behind ruffles my hair even more. "I think her hair looks just fine. Perfect even."
Feliks is unimpressed. "Raise your standards."
I choke, shocked from what just left his mouth. "Now that's just fucking rude."
"What?" Feliks grins. "It's not like that you're his type."
"Or maybe he's not my type, ever thought about that?" My pride gets ahead of me, making me cringe.
"Alright, alright," he yawns before calling for everyone else. "Alright everyone say bye."
"Bye Devi!"
"Goodnight Malyshka."
"Night Grisha."
"Bu-bye," Feliks waves his fingers before ending the call.
I look at Grisha. "I don't think I've ever had such a chaotic video call– also where was Santos?"
"Probably doing some other shit," he says, distracted and ever so strained as he picks me up, arms sliding around my waist bridal style, catching my breath along with me.
I drag my finger along the side of his jaw, feeling it tick. I kiss his lips, the corner of his lips, then a tender spot on his neck. His pulse is wild for me. I land on the bed, and I look at him undressing, still as if it's the first time, as if it's the last time, as if I can't believe my life.
His eyes are clouded with deep want and desire and have me reeling over for him. He stalks towards where I'm sitting near the edge of the bed, putting two hands on either side so that he towers over me, naked.
I swallow in an attempt to regain the lost moisture in my throat.
I wait for him, his move, anything to reinitiate what was interrupted. With one hand flat on my stomach, he pushes me back on the bed, my hair spreading across the sheets. I contemplated our positions before giving in this one time, because the next thing I know my underwear is sliding off my ankles and my top has vanished. My entire body aches for him as he positions himself between my legs.
No barriers, because I had to make sure I didn't disgust him. His face showed no sign of disgust and it relieved me. I just needed to know. Despite my overwhelming positivity, I have a side of my brain that is disgusted by it and reminds me everyday why I shouldn't be positive.
He kisses me slow and deep as he slides inside of me, my entire body arching. I think it's because he likes tasting the sounds I make upon the first feel. But the sounds aren't only from my end.
"I know I said that we can hide us, but baby, you're too perfect to hide."
He fits, I fit, we fit perfectly, like he's the last lost piece to my jigsaw.
I love you, is on the tip of my lips.
And so is another apology.
...
"Can I ask you something?"
We're in a Japanese supermarket because boredom has zapped every neuron in my brain, frying it and then rejuvenating to fry it again. Bored feels like claws ripping your brain apart– it's painful for me. Boredom can be a weakness– it allows your mind to be free, and allows anything to take the reins of your mind. I'm thoughtless then I'm plagued.
"Ask away," he says, leaning against the trolley, boredom now evident in his voice as I scour these shelves stocked with snacks I've never seen before.
"I had a gun to your face. I should've had one to my head as soon as I got out of that building for doing that to you," I say, biting the inside of my cheek.
He stays silent for a second. "Do you want a gun to your head?"
I frown. "No."
"Then there's your answer."
"What? But I shot you– isn't that like treason, or something?"
"You aimed for my arm, Devi," he says. "Sometimes you have to improvise a little and pull the trigger. Did they threaten you?"
"Well–" not in the way you think, "yeah."
"Look, you shot me, you almost died, I think we're square," he assures.
Why. Why is he making this so hard? He trusts me so fucking much, it hurts.
"You didn't intentionally do that. I intentionally shot at you," I say annoyed.
"We we're fucking surrounded– Devi what's wrong?" He walks towards me, backing me against the shelves.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, looking up at him. "Why are you forgiving me so easily– actually nevermind, never fucking mind."
"Forgiving what?" He holds the sides of my face when I try to look away. "There's nothing to forgive. And even if there was it's because I–"
"I said never mind, it's fine," I interrupted, not ready for him to finish that sentence. "You were suspicious of me– I could see it."
"I was," he says. "I am."
That's good, you should be. "You are?" my voice cracks.
"I am, yet whenever I see you I get so lost in you.," he murmurs over my face. "Let. It. Go. I'm happier when I do."
Sometimes you have that switch in your brain that suddenly flicks on without any trigger and it makes you want to ruin everything you've built. It's telling me to ruin everything right now.
"Doesn't that make you weak? You can't let those sorts of emotions cloud your judgement," I say.
"Those sort of emotions? Do you think you make me weak?" His eyes bore heavily into mine. "Where is this coming from?"
I don't know. Sometimes I feel like my emotions are swinging dangerously side to side as if from tree to tree. My jaw is clamped tight and shut and my fingers are curled tight into fists, nails digging into my palm.
At night, he talks about his father sometimes.
"From the heart," I say, standing very still, my heart thundering in my ears.
Hearing his name makes my throat close up because I can feel his hands trying to kill me.
"Bullshit," he replies straight away, sliding a steel hand around the back of my neck. His thumb pushed my chin upwards. "Your excuse was bullshit– you're a shit liar."
"I don't think so," I laugh bitterly.
Sometimes, on other nights, I think if Grisha doesn't kill me, then I will.
"What's wrong? You've been walking around this store for a whole hour looking at every item as if you're about to stab it."
"Why are you so caring? How? I feel so angry and I'm taking it out on you and you're letting me," I say, wanting to just bang my head against the wall.
"What do you want me to do then?" he asks.
"I don't know, like slap me or something," I whine, my body hurts from everything, it feels heavy. I feel like I need to lie down but then I feel like I need to break something then I feel like the tears are going to come gushing out like a broken dam.
"Baby I'm not slapping you," he says, slightly perturbed.
"Squeeze my throat until my eyes roll back," I suggest.
He slowly closes his eyes, even more perturbed. "Why don't we go home if you don't want anything?"
"No, I haven't finished looking."
He gestures to the place. "Then carry on."
I look up, at his stark grey eyes, they breathe a sense of tranquillity over me. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath, feeling my chest rise and fall.
"Everything is just a little confusing and I'm just angry," I fidget intensely with my hands, before raising them to my neck and pinching myself until I can't feel it.
"And you're angry because..." he prompts me slowly.
"Because I really don't deserve you–"
His lips come crashing down on mine with a force that stuns every cell in my body. I fist the collar of his shirt pulling him closer as his tongue dominates my mouth as his hand around my neck tightens. Every second leaves me more lightheaded than the last.
He pulled away, our lips still touching. "You say that again, I'll drag your ass home."
He dips his head, brushing his lips over the spot on my neck I pinched to death. My heart is in my throat as his actions begin to placate me. A gnawing feeling still is settled in my brain, my nerves, my body.
"Okay," I swallow. "Can I ask another question?"
He answers slowly. "Da."
"That night I was drugged, what happened to Ares? And Lil' D?"
"Ares suffered multiple bullets across her body," he replies.
I think, I feel lighter, as if the sky isn't resting on my shoulders. "She's dead... Who shot her?"
"All of us. All of us put a bullet in her."
I'm speechless. "Why didn't you tell me she was dead?"
We walked out of the store, embarrassingly, having bought nothing. We climbed into the car, his cadillac.
"We didn't witness her last breath. After those bullets we were drawing too much bad attention and had to get out. As for the drug lord I sent for my men to bring him back with us."
Then just like that, that short lived feeling of relief leaves me.
In the car, I swing my head to his. "What?"
"Didn't I mention it?"
"No you certainly did not. Where on earth is he?"
"We have a room under the house–"
"He's in the same house as us?!" My eyes widened. "So you're telling me you didn't care to mention we've been living under the same roof as the sleazy drug lord?! What about his men?!"
"They won't mess with us," he says, short and direct. "And he's barely living if that makes you feel better."
I poke my head out of the window as he drives, feeling the wind on my face. "Why are we holding him hostage?"
"For fun," he says dryly.
He speeds up as we drive along the road that leads into the forest, darkening our surroundings. One of his hands rests on my thigh, where the fabric of my jeans are thin. I place my hand on his weaving my fingers between them before placing it in mine.
"You're a shit liar too," I say, calling him out on his lie too.
He's silent through the rest of the journey, his breathing the only thing I can hear from him. With our fingers interweaved, he draws small circles on my hand, a sign he's still with me, here, right now.
As we delve deeper into the forest, where the house is, I hear the sound of fresh water which makes me feel like my nerves are taking a dip in the ocean. It's a transient feeling, unlike what he makes me feel. Anything with him is the opposite of transient, anything with him feels like falling into an abyss. I don't know what's in the abyss, but it's dark, and I tend to like the darkness.
I look up at him, gauging his hardened expression. "I'm doing it for you. I want you to feel safe and if anyone does hurt you something inside me won't stop until they get what they deserve."
I take a deep breath. "What do they deserve?"
"Pain," he pauses, "not the type that you feel for a mere second before dulling. The type that's constant and won't leave without the will of the person in power. The type that makes you desire death more than salvation."
"You don't need to do that," I whisper. "You could've just left him... it's not like he wasn't already in enough pain."
His hand around mine tightens, the sense of security surrounding me like a soft blanket.
"I can see it when I look at you, you don't feel safe. I saw it when I told you Ares isn't confirmed to be dead but she likely is. I'm sorry baby, I could've lied to you but then if we see her again it would crush your mind."
"I feel safe when I'm with you, isn't that enough?" I say, wanting him to believe me, because it's true, I feel safer than normal.
Then we arrived at the house. The house. It doesn't feel like home, I'm still waiting for that familiar feeling. I walk in front of him, leading him into the house by the hand. He suddenly pulls me against him, cradling my face as his eyes flit over my features slowly before returning my eyes.
"Then I'm never leaving your side," he says, before pressing his lips against mine.
This is the familiar feeling I call home.
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now that holidays are over updates are gonna be slower especially due to alevels too
Whenever i write them kissing I always do a little sigh inside, so if I keep writing that for her now you know. Also I didn't mean to write smut but then it happened 💀💀
guys. thank you so much for 747+k reads and 4k followers, i'm actually so shook
ok so i have anger issues and get aggressive😭😭 without realising, so yk what sometimes it's nice to just imagine getting sexily man handled, kinda like in dark romance sorta shit
last part is v much unedited, so sorry for mistakesssss.
-peace out