Thikshitha
In the end, it's all my fault, huh? I rub away the tears that spread across my cheeks and dress up. I told him to forget this, but I don't think I could ever do that myself. My body feels like, it's still being caressed by him.
Even after I wore my dress and crouch on the bed, I could not feel shielded. The fluttering sensation in my breast reminds me of him. The more I think of him, my heart hurts.
It really does.
Clutching my chest, I bow my head down, tears brimming and pushing themselves out of my eyes. How can I forget all these? I bit my lip as a sob thumps in my throat. No no...calm down Thikshitha.
This will be over soon.
Sighing, I shut my ear and embark on relaxing. And I have no idea when I dozed off. The storm was still pouring outside when I lazily look out the window. What If it actually floods?
Shaking my head off of that hazardous thought, I get down from the bed and my stomach growls just as I did so, demanding food.
I hurriedly strain my eyes on the wall clock in my room and gasp at the time. It's 4 pm? I slept like a drunkard.
Anyways...what is Vicky doing? Sure we fought but can't he even wake me up to cook? Wait, what If in rage, he had cooked and eaten alone? Well, as long as he had food, I don't really mind about mine.
Another growl from my stomach, I guess, I mind it now. Leaving my room, I enter the kitchen and found nothing. It was clean as though no one had even set a foot in.
So...Vicky also did not have food.
Tying my hair up, I start to prepare tea for both of us. While the milk was boiling, I thought back to our argument. I was really angry then, but now, I have no resentment against him. Why is that!?
Cause he is my Vicky...
Once I made the tea, I pick some snacks from the cabinet and saunter to the dining hall with them. Settling everything on the table, I doubt whether to call Vicky or not.
Honestly, I don't possess any ego nor do I think it causes damage to my self-respect If I go upstairs and speak to him. Mostly because he is still growing and I'm the one who has the responsibility of raising him. Thus, If I shrug away my duty, who will care for him?
This is why I approach his room and knock on his door. I could heed those anime voices from inside. I see what he is doing...
"Vicky, I prepared tea and snacks," I yell so that he could listen through the closed door. He doesn't respond. I endeavored to enter but the door was bolted. For a few minutes, I stood there, hoping he would open it but as he did not, I decided to decline downstairs.
Alone, I sit on the chair and begin to sip on the tea, cherishing the rain outdoors. Halfway in, out of nowhere Vicky marches down the stairs and grabs one packet of biscuits and his share of tea. His face appears blank which I have never seen all these years. Without sparing me a glance, he just retreats.
"Vicky!" I call him when he steps on the stairs. He doesn't even acknowledge me. How much time could he stay like this though? He will be back to normal soon enough. Ah, that's what I thought...
At night, I cooked his favorite fried rice and waited for him to arrive downstairs after informing him the same. He does come but did not have the food I made. He picked a packet of chips from the kitchen cabinet and wanders back to his room but I halt him before he could climb up the stairs.
He doesn't even look at my face. "It's not healthy to have chips at night. I have cooked fried rice for you..." Not a word spills out of his mouth, and neither does he glance at me.
The silence weighed for a very long time and I spoke up again. "Vicky...look at me," I strive to touch one of his fingers but he swats it away and elevates up the stairs.
My nose burns as I restrain myself from crying. He will talk to me eventually, right? He can't possibly stay like this always...
The appetite I had fled away and I went to bed without having dinner. I couldn't even fall asleep, not to mention those high-pitched noises of thundering.
Done with trying to get a good nap, I seat myself on the bed with a pillow stuffed in my lap and grab my phone to play a melody song. It was my all-time favorite one.
The song's name is Nenjukkule...
As I was absentmindedly hearkening to the song, a particular beat drop made me feel the lyrics of it...
.....Though you left, your shadow hasn't left,
It is left in my heart,
I have never lowered my gaze from then,
My heart is awake and alert like a steel rib of an umbrella,
The birds have slept,
The milk slept to curd,
Even the leaves of the banyan tree have slept,
At a time when even the TB patients can sleep,
The lady who is stuck with Love is not able to sleep even for a moment...
I smile slightly at the lyrics.
"Vicky..." I whisper slowly. I realize I'm crazy to do this after our conflict but he is my Vicky after all...
"Thikshitha I hate you!!" I groan, burying my face in the pillow. I have to think this through in a mature way. Like a grown-up woman...
Yes.
So, I love Vicky but I have a deep fear about how the world will view it. Thus, I keep on messing with this and hurting Vicky.
Hm...now I'm a working woman, earning a good amount of salary every month. Vicky has one more year to complete his course, and after that, to secure a job...it will take almost two years.
And?
I will already be twenty-nine when he finishes his studies. Before that, my parents would push me to marry someone...what will I say and stop them?
Even my beauty would fade away, and Vicky might stop loving me, that is, If he loves my exterior only. Gosh, this is the reason why I always wanted to confirm his love and see how it ended up today... horrible!
Will he stay by my side always? Regardless of the modification in my appearance?
Moreover, how can I convince my parents about our relationship? How would they react? They would feel betrayed by Vicky and me.
Also, what about people around us? Our relatives? Everyone will talk ill about us and our family.
But still...
Though there are all these aforementioned demerits If I choose Vicky, I still want him.
......................
How was the chapter guys?❤️
I know most of you would be annoyed and confused by Thikki's change of mood. But imagine guys, she raised him, she is too elder than him. Imagine yourself in her position and think how stressful it would be for you to conclude this problem. You may tell I don't care about the society, but in reality, it can't be that easy...we need to take into consideration of all the other factors along with love.
Lyrics translation source, Google Ji❤
And guys, do comment ❤️