Building a family isn't as easy as Maya had originally hoped. Carina tried her best to warn her. To tell her that the process of having a baby would most likely be long and challenging. But they went for it anyway.
The first egg that they used, didn't stick. And although it hurt, Maya and Carina almost saw it coming.
Given Carina's age, they knew it would be more difficult for her to get pregnant. Plus throwing IVF into the mix made things even more complicated.
Then on their second try, the egg stuck, and they were both so ecstatic.
The happiness and excitement lasted all the way up to Carina's third month mark when they tragically lost the baby. The happiness was replaced with devastation.
It was three months of love and bonding. Three months of growing attached to the life growing inside of her. They were there and then they weren't.
Carina had a hard time dealing with the loss, like most would expect. She felt the physical connection to the baby. They were apart of her for twelve weeks.
And Maya, she was hurting, but she forced all the pain down to focus on her wife. Carina needed her support and Maya was there for her at every moment. Even the times that Carina pushed her away. She was still there.
She didn't really have the time to process the loss of their baby. The hurt and grief swiveled around deep down, but she couldn't pay it any attention, or she'd break down. Maya couldn't afford to take her focus off of her wife to look after herself because she felt as if Carina deserved it more than her.
Carina felt the pain. She felt the physical loss.
Maya didn't find it fair to put the focus on herself when her wife was hurting. It just didn't feel right.
But when six weeks passed and Carina was still having a hard time, Maya suggested that they go on a vacation to hopefully take a little break from reality.
The blonde could tell that Carina was just going through the motions. Just trying to get through the day. She was hardly living.
It's been weeks since Maya's heard her laugh or even seen her smile. She wants her wife back.
Her loving and caring and happy wife.
She feels selfish for wanting that. Here Carina is, having just gone through a tragic event, and Maya's thinking about herself. It feels wrong.
It took some convincing, but ultimately, Carina agreed to go on the vacation. It would be a quick trip of only four days in California with the hotel right next to the beach. It would be short, but hopefully enough to clear their heads for a little bit.
On the night before their flight from Seattle to Los Angeles, they finally started to pack for their trip. While folding the clothes to fit in the luggage, Maya noticed that the news was calling for a snow storm within the next forty eight hours.
"A snow storm in spring?" Maya points out. Although, it's only early April, and Seattle weather can usually be pretty unpredictable.
"Sí, but hopefully we will beat the storm and be enjoying the heat next to the beautiful water," Carina says with a smile. The beach is far more better than snow in her eyes.
"Mhm," Maya nods, handing her pile of folded shirts to her wife, who neatly organized them in the suitcase.
"Thank you for doing this," Carina sighs, not making eye contact with the blonde, instead continuing to work on the packing.
"Thank you for agreeing to go," Maya replies. "I think it will be good for us to get out of town for a few days."
"Sí," Carina agrees, closing the suitcase and zippering it shut. She looks over at the clock on their bedside table, seeing that it's already ten o'clock.
Maya notices her action and suggests that they go to bed since they have a fairly early flight the next day. Carina just wordlessly nods as they go their separate ways to brush their teeth and get dressed, coming back to the bedroom to lay in bed.
Maya lays down on her back, setting her alarm on her phone to six in the morning, and opening her arms when Carina joins her in bed, resting her head on her wife's chest.
They close their eyes and hope that tomorrow will be a start to the first good couple of days in weeks.
——————————
She's the first one awake out of the two, waking up before the alarm even goes off. It's just past five and Maya decides to start getting ready for the day, wanting to make sure she has time to look over their luggage to double check that they have everything they need.
But the first thing she does before getting out of bed, is turn to her side, placing a soft and gentle kiss on Carina's forehead.
Maya's small smile grows bigger when she sees her wife grin, even within her deep sleep. It melts her heart.
It makes her even more excited for their little getaway.
Growing up, Maya flew all over the country, but she hated it. These excursions were never for anything special. She didn't go to the beach, she didn't go on fancy tours, she didn't go to history museums.
She sometimes got to use the hotel pool, but even that wasn't fun. It was mostly used for all different types of exercises that her father used to make her do. She didn't play Marco Polo with her brother. Half the time he didn't even go with her.
Only her and Lane.
So no, trips were never viewed as this fun and exciting adventure. It was just something that she had to do in order to advance further into her track career.
She's only been on a few vacations with Carina, but all of them have been far better than the trips she went on with her father. Even counting the one where she had a panic attack because even that one she had a good time for majority of the getaway.
Pulling the sheets off her body and climbing out of bed, the cool air instantly sends a chill down her spine. Maya immediately goes to the window to look outside. And that's when she sees it.
Snow. How is there already snow? Not even eight hours ago there wasn't a single snowflake in sight and now Maya can't even see the green grass.
There is maybe five inches on the ground so it isn't too much, but Maya is growing tired of all the cold weather and blizzards. It's been a crazy winter and she just wishes that it would be over with so they can start making spring plans.
Because being trapped inside for months on end isn't very appealing.
Going back to the bed and over to the bedside table, Maya turns on her phone, double checking her plane tickets. She's relieved to see that their flight hasn't been cancelled because of the storm.
Her next stop is the bathroom where she starts to prepare for a shower. She turns the water to a hotter setting, making her smile as she imagines Carina's complaints about the temperature.
While she prefers hot showers, Carina thought her ideal setting is too hot. She would much rather have just a warm shower compared to a hot one, claiming that 'it burns her skin.'
When they take showers together, Maya allows the temperature to be a little cooler than what she would like. But if it's just her taking a shower, like in this moment, she happily chooses her steaming hot water.
Letting the water cascade down her back as she washes her hair, Maya's mind runs free. She thinks of ideas for what they can do while in Los Angeles.
She knows Carina loves the beachy shores and so does she, so that's definitely top on the list. Maya's also always wanted to go parasailing, maybe that could be something they do.
Maya thinks of a few other options, but since the vacation is only a couple of days, there isn't enough time to do everything she wants.
After rinsing the conditioner out of her hair, she turns off the water, wrapping a towel around her body as she rings out her wet blonde hair into the drain on the shower floor.
Maya brushes through her damp hair, throwing it up into a ponytail. She's noticed over the last couple of weeks how much longer it is.
She originally cut it short after her run in with Lane a few years back and the length is finally a few inches past her shoulders.
It makes her a little sentimental at how much she's changed since then. In some way, her hair reminds her of all that change.
Her cutting her hair was a way to start fresh. To try and let go off her past and grow. And seeing that it's now almost to the length that it used to be pre-haircut, puts it all in perspective.
Her six o'clock alarm goes off while she changes into her airport style clothes. After she pulls on her shirt, fixing the little flyaways that come out of her ponytail, she goes back into their bedroom.
Carina's practically in the same exact spot as she left her, only this time her arms are wrapped around Maya's pillow, causing her to smile.
There's been quite a few times that Maya's returned from a late night shift to find Carina asleep, sometimes on her side of the bed, or with her arms around her pillow.
It's nice for Maya to know that she has someone who loves and misses her while she's away all day. It's a good feeling.
Going to Carina's side, Maya puts her hand on her back, since the brunette's laying on her stomach, and rubs softly. "Wake up, Carina," she whispers to which she receives a small groan in response.
She cracks an eye open and slowly sits up, rubbing her tired eyes. "It's too early," she yawns and Maya cracks a smile.
"I know, but we have to leave soon," Maya replies.
Carina quietly nods, reluctantly getting out of bed and going to take a shower. She was going to offer the blonde to join her, but seeing as she's ready for the day, Carina assumes that she's already showered.
Maya checks the suitcases once again, not surprised to see that she didn't forget anything since she followed a detailed list when packing.
There's a reason everyone calls her 'queen of the clipboard.'
Remembering that they are going to get food at the airport, Maya skips breakfast, choosing to brush her teeth instead.
Once Maya's done brushing her teeth, Carina gets out of the shower, gets dressed and brushes her hair. She throws her hair into a braid, deciding she doesn't want her thick hair to be in her face all day.
Seeing that it's almost time to leave, Maya loads up the bags in the car. They both decided to used Maya's car since Carina's Porsche is too valuable to be left at an airport for a couple of days.
Well, Carina decided and Maya just went with it because it doesn't really matter to her.
The white snowflakes drop from the sky around her. It was slow and angelic like, not anything near a blizzard.
It would be beautiful if it was December, not April.
"Carina? Are you ready?" Maya calls from the front door after she made her way back from the car.
Carina enters from the bedroom, laughing at the snow in Maya's blonde hair. She just shoots her a playful glare in return.
"Is it cold outside?" Carina questions as she pulls on her shoes.
"It's actually not too bad. But you probably still need this," Maya says, gesturing to the winter coat in her hands, giving it to her wife who throws it on with a sigh.
"I hate snow," Carina grimaces.
"I know you do," Maya chuckles. "Good thing we are leaving."
"Sí," Carina nods, taking Maya's hand as she leads them out the front door. "I'm excited to be somewhere warm."
"Hopefully it's good weather," Maya says.
"I looked at the forecast and it's supposed to be good," Carina shrugs and Maya smiles.
She's relieved that her wife seems to be interested in traveling. At first, Maya wasn't so sure where she stood. She was nervous that Carina only agreed to go to make her happy. When in reality, Maya's mainly doing this to make her happy.
While she enjoys going on trips with her wife, it puts her through a lot of stress. Stressed about missing work. Stressed about not being in Seattle. Stressed about change.
After all, she's Maya Bishop. Change comes with uncertainty. There's no plan. Maya strives with order. Change completely disrupts that.
But the trips always turn out pretty good. It's always worth it in the end.
Maya opens the passenger side car door, Carina shooting her a smirk at the romantic gesture as she climbs in. The blonde shuts the door, making her way over to her side of the car. Almost slipping on black ice in the process.
Maya loads up the GPS, something Carina makes fun of her for. The Italian has a really good memory and can usually remember how to get certain places really well. And while Maya doesn't struggle with it, using a guide ensures that they will get to their destination correctly and on time.
Control. It's all about control.
The ride is pretty much silent for most of the way, both of them trying to adjust to the time of the morning. The only thing that can be heard is the Italian music that Carina chose playing in the background.
She would sing some of the songs, but it was mostly mumbling nonsense than actually words. Maya was too busy focusing on the road to sing along, even though she knew majority of the songs, having heard them many times before.
"I was thinking about going parasailing. Would you want to do that?" Maya asks, wanting to get rid of the silence, even if it's only for a minute.
"Sure bambina," Carina responds. "We have to go to that place we went last time. I forgot what it's called. It's that pizza place."
"Oh, ummm...Francesco's?"
"Sí, that's the one," Carina nods, pointing her finger at Maya as a reaction. "They had good pizza."
"What about the pineapple pizza?" Maya questions with a smirk.
"No," Carina states firmly. "We don't talk about that one. It shouldn't even count. Pineapple pizza is not real pizza," she grumbles.
"I don't think pineapple pizza is that bad," Maya jokes and Carina is quick to send her a glare. "I'm kidding."
"I don't find that very funny," Carina deadpans, but Maya can see a hint of a smile that her wife is trying hard to hide.
The car goes quiet again as Maya focuses completely on the road in front of her, having entered an area of Seattle that's snowing more than where their apartment is located.
These snowflakes are much bigger and whiter, making it more difficult for her to see. It's almost like a blizzard based off of the lack of good visibility.
"Shit," Maya mutters when she takes a wrong turn. She notices that the street isn't busy at all so she does a quick u-turn, putting her back on track.
Looking both ways, a car comes out of nowhere from a parking lot that's straight in front of them.
Maya's heartbeat speeds up and her vision goes black almost immediately.
A/N: This is a new story that I am planning on uploading twice a week.
Published: September 4th, 2022
Word count: 2,655