Cami's POV:
Days had passed in the same agonizingly slow fashion. I'd wake up, deny most of the food I was encouraged to eat, lie in bed all day and stare up at the ceiling. I'd come to notice every imperfection of the chipping paint and each spot of discoloration around the room. My bedroom floor was completely taken over with every pair of sweatpants I owned, until I ran out and gave up on wearing any at all. I hadn't left my room to do laundry- much less shower. I was beginning to notice a recurring smell in the room that just wouldn't go away. Eventually I realized it was me and when I did, I shrugged and took a nap. I always seemed to be tired lately and sleep was the one thing in my day that I looked forward to. Sleep was the one place I was safe from my own head, it was the only moment in my day that I didn't feel a self-loathing brick weighing down on my shoulders. The only issue with sleep was that it didn't last forever. As soon as I woke up the next morning, the repetitive process started all over again. Charli tried to get me to clean myself up, but I just wasn't having it. On one of the first days I made the mistake of looking into a mirror, my reflection was so repulsive I covered it and hadn't looked since, that was six days ago. I could only imagine what I looked like on the outside just knowing how I felt on the inside. The idea that I had felt any other way only two weeks ago was laughable. How in the hell could I go from one extreme to another? I vaguely remember the feeling- even though it was not so long ago. I'd felt giddy and tingly inside and remember taking note on how much I had been smiling then. Now, the days seemed to drag on, making it feel like years since I'd last been anything other than this - a frail shell of something that use to make up a person. It felt like nothing would ever change and no one could make it.
I tried not to think about Harry, or how much he had been calling. Both Charli and Caleb remained oblivious to the fact that I could hear them on the phone with him, but I enjoyed that bit. It was nice to hear them speak without walking on eggshells. I just wasn't prepared to hear his voice. On really quiet days I could just make out the raspy tone through the receiver in the room over, but the worst was the day he showed up and I heard it clear as day from just a few feet away.
As much as I tried to block it out, it was hard when he was demanding to see me at my doorstep and his voice was way passed a yell.
It took a while for Caleb to finally get him out and he hadn't showed up since, his calls never ceased though and part of me felt guilty for leaving him hanging for over two weeks. I just didn't know how to deal with us when I couldn't even handle dealing with myself. I wasn't angry with him anymore, I was just unsure if I was even worth his trouble.
Thinking about him caused that same fire to burn in my chest. I'd managed to get it to subside, but the memories of his pained voice yelling, begging for me to see him wouldn't stop ringing in my ears. It was almost as if he was screaming directly into my ear and the piercing sound caused me to wince and cover my ears with my hands. I swore he was in the room, but as I looked around for the source of the uncomfortable volume, my room was left empty.
It was only when I put my headphones on and turned the music up as loud as it could go, did I realize his voice was in my head and I would need much more than loud music to silence it.
I tried to sleep but I had only just woken up and although my body was more susceptible to mid-day naps as of late, the noise prevented even that.
Harry's voice was pleading with me to let him in and if my heart wasn't already broken, it would have shattered hearing the panicked tone of his voice. The only other option I could think of to rid my head of his haunting voice was one I knew I would have to fight for.
I hadn't heard Charli or Caleb for a while and hoped they had gone out for a little while. I hesitantly crept my door open and peeked out each side. When I confirmed the coast was clear, I tip-toed out of my room and made my way down the hallway for the first time in days. The sun shining through the living room window was harshly bright and burned my eyes for the first few seconds of contact. I once again looked both ways around me to find nothing but an empty kitchen and living room. Even though it had only been a few days, the apartment seemed vastly different from the last time I saw it. It didn't emit the same home feeling it always seemed to before and that felt foreign. Ignoring the weird feeling that something was missing, I walked into the kitchen- now confident I was alone for at least the time being.
I reached straight for the alcohol cupboard and was pleasantly surprised to see it was filled more than the last time I'd tried to drown my sorrows. Clearly my roommates needed some liquid courage to deal with me, leaving a little less than half a bottle of tequila and a bottle of champagne sitting on the shelf. I reached for the tequila first and twisted off the cap, letting it fall to the floor. I gulped it down before I even had time to register how much it burned as I swallowed. My chest ached and my stomach felt like it was searing from the inside. I knew drinking on a completely empty stomach was a stupid idea, but I couldn't think of any other way to get rid of his voice. I forced the bottle to my lips once again and swallowed another mouthful. It was bitter and smelt even worse than it did when I took my first sip, but I chugged it down anyways. By the end of the bottle, the voice was becoming more and more distant, as if he was walking away. I could barely hear by this point, but I couldn't bring myself to stop. I struggled with the cork of the champagne bottle as my head was becoming more and more fuzzy with each passing second. I was so out of it, I almost didn't notice Charli's yelling.
"Cami!" she yelled from the doorway.
Caleb was at her side, as they were both just coming in and they shared the same expression. It was a mix of shock and exasperation with a large amount of worry evident on their faces.
With both of them in my view, a wave of a fuzzy feeling came over me. It was like I felt numb again and almost amused. It was strange to feel it after being so glum lately, but it was a nice change.
"What the hell are you doing?" Charli asked, gesturing to the still unopened bottle in my hands.
I glanced down at it as a smile took over my face.
"I'm trying to open this. You want some?" I asked.
"No! I don't want some Cami." Her voice was loud and harsh and I found my smile fading as a frown took over my face.
"Here Cami, why don't you let me take this from you?" Caleb suggested gently.
He reached for the bottle in my hand and I was hesitant to let go but had little strength to hold on. My resistance to food had left me weak and sluggish, so even if I did fight his grip, I would lose in seconds.
"This needs to stop! I don't know how much more time you need, but you can't keep going like this Cami."
Charli's eyes glossed over and her voice cracked as she spoke.
"Your a mess, you haven't showered in almost a week and you look like a skeleton."
"Charli," Caleb warned at her harsh tone.
"No," she interjected, "She needs to hear this."
"You can't keep doing this to yourself. Pull it together Cami."
Her words burned worse than the tequila as they sunk in slowly and painfully. At the same moment, Harry's voice came back louder than ever before and my ears were ringing in agony.
Harry's POV:
I felt like a pathetic excuse for a man and even more for a boyfriend. I was being cut off from Cami when she was going through the toughest experience of her life and no one seemed to think I could be of any use to her. Not for better lack of effort, but I hadn't had any contact with her since our fight.
I tried to apologize for that night, but no one would let me. Her phone was being controlled and her apartment guarded by not only her best friend, but my own. They both seemed to think some distance was the best thing but it was harder than I could have ever imagined. Being without her for so long left me with a short attention span and an even shorter temper. I was grumpy and impatient- which resulted to me showing up at her door and trying to force my way in. Even then I was thrown out when I was just so close. I could practically feel her pain as I made it in the doorstep and being yanked away from that was beyond aggravating. I didn't know how much longer I could wait without combusting, but I knew it wasn't long. There was only so much more time I would give her before I forced her to see me. I missed her, I craved her like a drug and wanted more than anything just to see how she was. I worried about her well-being more than my own and not being able to assure myself she was okay was creating a giant hole in my chest.
As I laid in bed contemplating all of the ways I could go about getting to see her, my cellphone rang from the bedside table. It rang a few times before the person hung up and I made no move to answer it. The second time it rang sparked my curiosity and I reached over to pick it up. I nearly jumped when I saw Cami's name light up my screen.
"Hello?"
A sniffle was heard on the other end and I felt my heart ache. It was her.
"Harry?" her voice was dull and hoarse.
I felt my chest contract at the pain in her voice and I was already to my feet, pulling on my jeans.
"I'm here, baby, What's wrong?" I asked out of breath.
I stumbled across my room trying to get dressed as fast as possible. She breathed heavily a few times before she spoke again so lowly, I almost didn't hear it.
"I need you."
This was the call I had been waiting for. The one where she finally decided to lean on me and let me be there for her.
"I'll be right there."
____________________________________
It felt strange to know that I was actually going to see her without having to fight anyone about it. All of my previous attempts had been met unsuccessful, but this time was different. I couldn't help the pressure I was applying to the gas pedal just trying to get there faster. Even when I did finally arrive in half the time it usually took, it still didn't feel like fast enough. I impatiently tapped my foot against the ground in the lift as it finally ascended to the third floor. I dashed out of the door so fast it was barely open when I walked through it. My knock was loud and frantic as I waited for someone to answer it. My heart was racing and felt like it might beat through my chest if I didn't get to be with my girl and soon.
When the doorknob jiggled and Caleb was behind it, disappointment ran through me. If he tried to stop me this time, there was no way I would let him stand in my way.
"Where is she?" I asked, pushing my way fully through the door.
"Bedroom. She's a real mess mate," he warned.
I gave him a sharp nod in acknowledgment and followed the familiar path to her bedroom. Behind the door was the back of a figure that somewhat resembled Cami, but looked ten pounds lighter and like she could break apart at any moment. Her back was heaving up and down and small whimpers escaped her lips.
"Cami?" I rested my hand on her shoulder and gently turned her toward me.
Her cheeks were hollow and tear stained and I had never seen her look so pale. Her eyes were glossy and red as tears continuously fell from her eyes and her breath smelt like alcohol.
Once she felt my body near hers, she let herself fall completely into my arms.
She wallowed away as she screamed my name and I held her tightly as I struggled not to tear up myself. It was horrible to see someone I loved in so much pain and to look so out of it. Cami was so strong and courageous, seeing her like this was hard to swallow. The only thing I could think to do was hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay, and that's what I did.
Finally being able to hold her while she cried in my arms was exactly what she needed. As much as the sight of my broken girl was breaking my heart, I took comfort in the fact that she finally let me be the one she leaned on.
It was hours until she finally stopped and sobered up, but we still never moved from our original position. My legs were numb and my arm asleep, but I would lay there for days if that was what she needed.
"I thought you would've given up on me by now," she whispered.
"Never," I corrected and planted a kiss on her temple.
She was worth everything to me and no matter what she was going through, I would wait as long as she needed.
"I'm sorry I took so long to call-"
"Shh," I interrupted. "All that matters is that we're here and you're okay."
"I'm not," she gulped. "But I will be. As long as I have you."
I knew then more than ever that she would always have me because I couldn't bear to ever leave her. She was the best parts of me and I for her. We both brought out the best in each other and no matter how much she tried to push me away, I would hold on for dear life.