Jisung❤️
Explain to me why I had to lock
myself in the bathroom
Haechan😘
It's less embarrassing than you
screaming outside
Jisung❤️
WHAT
Jaemin
Me and Haechan did something
We might've....
K
I
S
S
E
D
Jisung❤️
YOU WHAT
WAIT WAIT WAIT I NEED
EXPLANATIONS
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED
YESTERDAY
WAIT ARE YOU DATING
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME
THESE THINGS BEFOREHAND
Haechan😘
Jisung's so funny when he gets like
this
Jisung❤️
Thanks
NOW EXPLAIN
WAIT WAIT WAIT
COME OVER
I'm already expecting you guys,
you have to show up
Jaemin
We're coming
Haechan😘
Cominggg
➳
"Okay, explain", is the first thing Jisung says once they're both in his apartment.
"Is Chenle here?"
"No, but he's suspicious."
"Good enough. Jaemin can start."
Jaemin blushes at the attention, especially about this. Which is why he ends up blurting, "Haechan kissed me!"
"Jaemin!"
"What? It's true!"
"Someone explain how we got here!" Jisung shouts over them, feeling too excited to deal with delays.
"Okay so Jaemin apologized and explained and I like him so it was affecting me but I had to control myself. But when I was leaving, he apologized again and I may have gotten distracted by his lips. And I really, really wanted to kiss him. Um, so I did."
Both Jaemin and Haechan flinch at the sound of their best friend squealing and jumping in excitement. He squishes the two in a hug, continuing to celebrate until his other questions come back to his mind.
"Wait, so are you dating now?"
"Not yet", Jaemin answers, sending a smile towards Haechan. "We agreed to wait and see if we'll develop feelings for Mark or Jeno before trying to label ourselves."
Jisung nods in understanding. "Ah, okay." He thinks for a few seconds before asking, "So was that a one-time thing or...?"
"I hope not", Haechan mumbles.
"It's not", Jaemin confirms and then kisses the brunets cheek as extra reassurance.
Jisung catches Jaemins eye. 'Does he know?' he mouths.
Jaemin shakes his head, feeling relief pass through him when Jisung nods and then goes into his fridge, asking if either of them wants anything.
Chenle comes back a while later and joins the three in their impromptu decision to watch movies.
Jisung does his best to keep his boyfriend distracted in case his best friends accidentally expose themselves. It's harder than they thought as all Haechan wants to do is kiss Jaemin again and Jaemin doesn't really know how to keep his hands off the male he loves so much.
When the movie ends and Chenle disappears into the bathroom and Jisung goes into the kitchen to make more popcorn, a risky thought pops into Haechans mind.
He checks the hallway, making sure Chenle isn't going to appear and then he tries to casually grab Jaemins hand. He waits until he gets his attention. Jaemin notices something seems off but he figures it's just Haechan worrying about Chenle catching them.
He gets thrown off guard by Haechans lips on his. They press hard against his, kissing him deeply before the feeling is quickly gone and Haechan is facing the TV, looking flustered.
Jaemin groans, wanting to kiss again but knowing he can't.
Jisung chuckles, imagining the struggle his friends are going through.
It would be easier if they told Chenle too but he respects their decision to keep their new relationship status a secret.
As Jisung comes back into the living room with popcorn, he glances down the hallway for his boyfriend. He catches a glimpse of him in their room.
He places the popcorn down and holds up two fingers, winking at the males before disappearing down the hallway.
"Oh, hey", Chenle greets, not looking at Jisung.
When he gets no response, he looks up, only for lips to be pressed against his.
And who is he to object a kiss?
He combs his fingers through Jisungs hair, deepening the kiss, completely enjoying the moment.
In the living room, Haechan and Jaemin exchange as much affection as they can with their time limit.
➳
Mark
We completely abandoned this
Jeno
I accidentally deleted the
conversation so I like completely
forgot until now
My Love😚
I feel awkward starting the
conversation since it's been so
long
Haechan
I prefer one on one
Like this is nice and I'm more
comfortable with you guys but
this was just awkward before
Jeno
I agree
The four start talking, all catching up and talking aimlessly, making use of the groupchat their friends made them
As they talk, Haechan can't help but still feel the distance between him and Jeno. He's not the closest with Mark either but there's never been anything to get in the way of his friendship with Mark.
He sighs, trying to figure out what to do. He knows he can't delay their conversation forever, he just doesn't wanna ruin everything before it even starts.
No, it's okay. It'll be okay
He keeps trying to assure himself at he crafts a text to Jeno. Then deletes it and retypes. Then deletes it again.
Eventually he brings himself to hit 'send'.
To: Jeno
Haechan
Hey
Jeno
Hi
Haechan
If you are, I'm ready to talk
Jeno
I am
Where should we talk?
Haechan
You pick
Though I don't exactly wanna talk
about this in a public place unless
we can be in a secluded spot
Jeno
I get it
You can come to my house. I feel
lazy today
Haechan
Okay😂
Jeno is slightly less nervous this time but it doesn't mean he's not afraid of this meet-up blowing up in his face.
"I wanna tell you some stuff about me first", is the first thing Haechan says when he walks in.
"Okay", Jeno says, slowly.
"It's a lot. Can I tell you?" Jeno nods and Haechan takes a deep breath. "When I was in fourth grade, I had a group of friends and one day, at recess, they all said they wanted to talk to me. I said okay and then they spent the entire lunch complaining about me. They said I'm kind of annoying sometimes, I'm really weird, I'm too loud. I wasn't even the loudest one of us but it was just me who was the problem. They said that it's frustrating when I shut down when I'm angry and don't want anyone to talk to me and I need to learn how to hear people out. Which made me ask 'Aren't I doing that right now?' which made them say 'And we don't like your attitude, you should fix it'. They just said so many things to me. They complained about everything. They didn't stop even when I started crying. And when the bell rang for the end of recess, I said they wasted my time and of course, that made them call me mean and whatever. And then they tried to act like they didn't pick me apart into all these little things they don't like. That's not all but that's one of the main reasons I can't handle people not liking me. I've been told every reason why I shouldn't be okay with myself so when someone calls me mean or an asshole, even if it's not supposed to mean much, it hurts me so fucking much. I got so angry 'cause I can't stand people not liking me. I shouldn't care and I try not to but sometimes my insecurities win."
Jeno gently takes a hold of Haechans hand and massages it in his own hands. "I'm sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that."
Haechan nods, still having a hard time convincing himself of the words Jisung's been telling him for years. "Yeah. Um, when I was younger, something I hated the most was being called mean. I know I am now but I hated it then. I don't like being called anything negative, even if it's true. Honestly, I think I don't like being called these things because some of them are true and I don't want to be reminded of them. I don't like myself but I don't like knowing when other people don't either."
Jeno holds Haechan gaze as he lifts his hand to his mouth and presses a kiss to it. "I don't think you should dislike yourself. We all have things we don't like but we have our good sides too. When we become better friends, I'll be able to go into detail but I bet Jaemin and Jisung can. And even Chenle. Plus, Mark has mentioned you. All good things."
"Really?"
"Mhm. I know it's hard to ignore thoughts like that, especially when you have people telling you these things but they're just opinions. You don't have to dislike yourself because some ten-year-olds didn't like you then. I don't know what you're saying to yourself in your mind but I'm sure whatever mean things you have to say aren't true. And I'm not just saying this to be nice. I mean it."
Haechan nods, not being able to make eye contact. His body trembles as tears threaten to spill down his face. Jeno pulls him into a hug and just holds him.
"I've got to stop crying on people", Haechan mumbles.
Jeno chuckles. "You do this a lot?"
"Jisungs jackets have seen better days."
"Well I'm glad you're not alone all the time when you cry."
"Me too."
When Haechan starts to pull away, Jeno gently lets go of him. Even though they're not touching anymore, Haechan still leans in towards the male.
"Want to hear about me too?"
"If you're comfortable with it. And can I play with your fingers?"
Jeno nods, offering his hand while he thinks back to the memories that have contributed to him being the way he is.
"Chenle is the only person I've met who's never left me." Haechan glances up but doesn't say anything. "There's a bunch of little moments and I didn't even know some of them affected me but I guess it makes sense. From kindergarten to second grade or so, I had a best friend. But he was fake. He'd always ditch me if we got a new student or if someone had something cool he liked. But then he'd still come back for a while until he found someone else he'd rather be friends with. Back then, my biggest problem was being alone because I didn't talk to everyone in my classes. He was more social than I was. I moved schools once and I made friends there but they already knew each other and we'd get into stupid, childish arguments but it always felt worse when I was involved. Middle school was like the start of my breaking point. I tried to make friends but everyone had someone else they'd prefer and I could just hangout with them because they were being nice. There was more arguments, I know one had to do with a video game. And I just got more hurt and upset.
"Ninth grade was the cherry on top. I had friends but it's high school and people grow apart. Which was okay but I would get upset cause one of them would only talk to me when he was upset but never for anything else. One didn't really understand when I was having a bad day or felt hurt and he was nice but it's so frustrating trying to explain what's bothering you to someone who just doesn't understand the problem. Or how deep it is. And they left me out. A lot. I just couldn't take it anymore but I didn't want to be alone so I stayed friends. But they just got farther and farther away from me while I turned into their doormat. And even with them only using me for whatever they wanted, they still left me. I only trust Chenle because he's never not tried. Even when Mark came into the picture, he would include me. And it wasn't like when you invite someone so they don't feel left out and then barely acknowledge them. Whenever he spoke, he'd ask for my opinion. He's the only person who's ever put in that much effort and with things like the hoodie he got me, I believe him when he says he loves me.
"But those other people said they'd cared too. They just didn't seem to understand that caring goes beyond just saying it. I'm not afraid of people loving me. I want them to. I'm afraid of people not loving me. I want to protect myself but part of me wants to see if I can find more people who will love me too. I just don't wanna get my hopes up. I used to be okay with you not liking me but I don't wanna stand in my own way. I want you to know me and then decide if I'm worth it. I don't want you to dislike me 'cause I won't show you the parts of me there is to like."
"Jeno, I already like you. I got so jealous and upset when I saw the way you are to Mark and hear Chenle and him talk about you. Or hear a comment from Jisung. You sound so amazing and I want to be someone you care about too. I just tell myself I don't deserve it." Haechan thinks for a few seconds and adds, "I tell myself I don't deserve a lot of things."
"You deserve love. You deserve someone to love you for all the parts that make you, you. You deserve people who care about you. You don't deserve to let the horrible things in your mind win."
"How do you know exactly what to say?"
"I've told myself I don't deserve things too. I blame myself for people leaving me."
"We both need to tell ourselves that it's not our faults for how some assholes treated us."
"We should." Silence. "You look adorable right now", Jeno blurts.
"And you look adorable and hot all the time. It's unfair."
"How do you think I feel about you?"
Haechan giggles, causing Jeno to smile, liking the sound and the look on his face.
He gets worried when the brunet grows serious. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for many things. I'm sorry for what I said to you, for just immediately deciding I didn't want to give you a chance, for making the camping trip awkward and I'm sorry it took me so long to apologize for this and talk to you in a civil manner. But I'm really sorry for what I said. I do this terrible thing where when someone hurts my feelings, I say whatever I can to hurt them back. And I shouldn't have done that. You were trying."
"Haechan, I said something rude to you. I shouldn't have that, and I'm sorry. I truly didn't know it would affect you that much so I didn't understand your reaction but I shouldn't have said you were overreacting. If I hurt you, I hurt you. And I was being inconsiderate. I don't know why 'cause I promise I'm not usually like that. And if I was you, I would've been upset with me too. I'm also sorry for trying to make you dislike me. You were trying too, that's why you showed up. I'm sorry I was someone you didn't wanna be around but I wanna change that."
"I've already cried on you, let you hug me, and told you about my biggest insecurity, you're in too deep now", Haechan says with a small smile.
Jeno nods. "Got it."
"And obviously I'm gonna prove it. And you're probably gonna hate it a little bit but I'm not gonna leave you. I'm not someone who just leaves, I'm incredibly hard to get rid of."
Jeno smiles and pulls Haechan into a hug. "Good."
Fun Fact: The fourth grade incident actually happened to me :) I don't remember much of it(I don't think I want to remember) but it was just my three best friends acting like they're being all nice and we were gonna have a nice civil talk and then they just started complaining. I remember one saying I yell too much (but this other girl yelled just as much as I did) and when the bell rang, I said they wasted my recess which made one of them tell me I have a bad attitude. And yeah, they didn't stop when I was crying :))
Jeno's thing isn't completely made up either :)))
It's not that bad but I'm gonna apologize in advance for the things I have planned
I'm also gonna slowly start editing this. Or just have this be unedited for a while and then edit a lot at once (that's what I usually do).
Literally me if I could (at you):
I love you. *Kisses* MMMMMMMMMMWAHHHHHHHHH
Have a great day!
Lazily proofread❤️