"You have a lot of explaining to do, young lady."
Well, it was time to come clean. So why couldn't I say anything? Why weren't the words coming out?
"Well," the Darkling prompted, "who are you?"
I suppose I could answer that. With an encouraging nod from Mother, I turned to the Darkling, providing the answers long overdue.
"I serve you as your general in the future, moi tsar," I bowed. "One of them, anyway."
"Tsar?" Mother asked her face a picture of surprise and concern.
"Not yet," he muttered, perhaps remembering what I said before. He decided to continue with this area of questioning.
"Generals," he emphasised, "Who are the others?"
"Alistair, my brother..."
"Is he a summoner too?" Mother piped in.
"Yes..."
" A Shadow or a Sun Sum..." the Darkling interjected.
"Enough!" I boomed. "Can't I get through one sentence without your interruptions?"
Mother raised her hands in apology, beckoning me to continue. The Darkling looked like he had been struck by Baghra's cane. I almost lost my resolve.
"He's a shadow summoner like you, moi ts... soverenyi..."
I saw unease flicker across his face as I used the title. It seemed to be a recurring reaction.
"And like me," Mother began, you're a su..."
"Shadow summoner. I'm a shadow summoner too," I finished for her.
With a flick of my wrist, I called the shadows, proving my point. And adding to Mother's confusion. Unfortunately, the Darkling picked up on this.
"Is something amiss, Miss Starkov?"
"I... I just... thought Leksi..."
The General's eyes widened.
"So you do know her..."
He turned to face me, his stare threatening but not a threat.
"How is this possible, Leksi?"
"Mother and I share some kind of summoner's connection. We can't control it, but it is how we met."
"So, you warned her of our arrival."
Now addressing Mother,
"You knew you were the Sun Summoner?"
I could hear the playfulness in his tone once again. I could see his lips curl in what resembled amusement.
"I suppose we all have our secrets," Mother quipped.
"Oh, get a room!" I cried.
The Darkling flashed a smile, teeth and all. Boy, that was still not natural to me. Of course, it only lasted for seconds.
"How did you end up in our time?"
Finally. The question I was expecting first.
"Well, that's what I don't understand."
He nodded for me to continue.
"You told me to take time off and accompany Alistair to Novyi Zem. On our way, we were ambushed, and I summoned. However, for some reason, I somehow lost control and was dragged into this tunnel I accidentally created. The last thing I remember was waking to Zoya's face."
"Merzost?"
His voice was soft, questioning... and even fearful. Well, that was not alarming at all.
"How did you..."
"I don't know," I admitted. "Moi Soverenyi, I need your help to get back home."
"Father."
"Sorry?"
"You call Alina 'Mother', but you called me 'moi tsar' and now 'moi soverenyi'. Am I not your father?"
"Yes, moi.."
His eyebrow quirked.
"Yes, Alistair and I are both your children."
His eyes gleamed with a determination I did not understand. There was more to it, though. There was a fierce protectiveness in his gaze with an undertone of triumph. Victory, I realised. For some reason, this is when Mother decided to chime in.
"When are you born?"
"Around 200 years from now, give or take."
"That's not long," the Darkling mused.
"Well, Alistair comes sooner."
Mother smirked, but the Darkling looked a little disappointed.
"You're not my heir?"
"No one is, moi tsar."
The Darkling bristled at the title. Right, I forgot. I didn't understand, though. Respect was something he expected from all Grisha. It was treason otherwise. What was I doing wrong here?
"Do we have other children?"
While the question was for me, his eyes were on Mother now. He had a knowing smirk, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. In reply, all he got was one of Mother's signature scowls.
"No, just Alistair and me."
"Thank the Saints!" Mother retorted.
"Better than having otkazat'sya with that tracker of yours..."
"Why would you..."
"He's not wrong, Ma."
The guilt on her face was astounding. It was as if she'd been caught in the act of thinking about it. But there was a hint of sadness there. A disappointment. Acknowledgement of the fact that she and Mal wouldn't be together.
Now, I felt guilty.
I pulled her into my arms. She accepted my comfort with a head on my shoulder.
"It'll be okay, Mama," I whispered.
The Darkling cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable with where the conversation had gone.
"Leksi, why didn't you just tell me this to begin with?"
"I couldn't risk it, General. Who knows how much my presence has changed the timeline? Telling you more immediately... who knows what damage that could've caused? Even the events of today have changed drastically. Who knows what home I'll walk back to now."
"How am I supposed to fix it?"
"You're the only one with any knowledge of merzost."
He nodded, accepting my answer.
"What's Merzost?"
Oh, right. I forgot Mother was new to this.
Before the Darkling could make up some half-lie, I answered.
"Grisha practise the small sciences, manipulate the elements which already exist. Merzost is a forbidden form of magic that creates out of nothing... takes from the making of the world."
Both were frowning. One in irritation, the other in confusion. Guess who's who.
"Oh, come on. She was gonna learn eventually."
The Darkling was still not satisfied.
"What if I don't?"
"Don't what?"
"Don't help you return."
"Why not?" I demanded.
"Um... General, with all due respect, why not?" Mother asked, genuinely confused.
When I returned his stare, I was pained by what I saw. I was looking right into the eyes of a broken man. A man who had suffered for so long, carrying the burden of eternal loneliness.
I understood.
"General," I pleaded. "I can't stay. You know I can't."
It seemed Mother understood the assignment.
She summoned.
A ray of light appeared in her hand, and slowly she sent the light towards him. I watched as its warm embrace wrapped around his wrist. He was mesmerised by the gesture.
"You're not alone. Not anymore."
I watched as the realisation swept over him. He closed his eyes. Relief.
He returned his gaze to me.
"I will see you again?"
"Promise."
He nodded.
"Oh, and honey?" Mother asked, pulling on my arm.
"Yeah, Ma?"
"What is your name?"
"You know..."
"Your full name, the one I gave you."
Right, yes.
"I'm Leksi, as in..."
"Aleksandria Starkov-Morozova," the Darkling finished for me.
He held the napkin in his hand, his eyes still on it.